How to submit a Support Request to Anyone to Ensure an Immediate and Effective Response

[BIG Mike]

Some names in this post have been changed to protect the recklessly stupid. Little background:

This person joined our membership at Niche Mania and forgot their login details. They used the online form to retrieve, but after several attempts were unable to login. This is the support request he sent with the subject line: Mickey Mouse Outfit Error!

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you sent me the login details,
I enter them, side-by-side......
click ENTER...........................then you have the audacity to tell me,

OOPS ! That can't be good !

The login details you entered do not match and currently active Niche Mania accounts.

###......That Is A Classic Example of UnProfessionalism, ABSOLUTELY !!!
Some would call it Mickey Mouse Outfit !!!!

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Overlooking the snide comments, I checked our logs to see exactly what happened, concerned that our ongoing re-development of the Niche Mania Portal had caused the problem. After looking at the logs, I decided to not overlook the snide comments afterall. My reply:

OK Numbnuts,

In looking at our logs, you entered your password incorrectly. No problem because I just deleted you account. Don't blame us because you're an idiot.

Mike

His response:

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Grek scumbag !!!

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Trust me...it went downhill from there

Seriously, I found that in copying and pasting his User Name/Password, he had picked up extra characters at the end of each that looked to the system like non-existent login credentials.

Obviously our "Audacity" at telling him he'd made a mistake threw him into a rage. Go figure - that email was certainly compelling enough to make me want to help him...right out the door that is.

Was I too quick to pull the trigger or should I have continued to build upon the special bond between us?

[logosi]

ha... Big Mike... love 'ya... following you on twitter. Only made it to the islands once... Patmos. Semper Fi by the way.

[John Taylor]

Mike,

I like the old adage the customer is always right (in his head).

Nice work.. just think of all the drinking time you now have when
"Numbnuts" won't be submitting even more support requests!

John

[Peter Bestel]

Mike, seems pretty clear cut and obvious that it wouldn't have been a fruitful relationship between you and this customer - better to cut 'losses' for both parties.

But don't you think less experienced Warriors should, in general, tread with a little more caution when dealing with complaints? I'm just aware how influential your comments may be on this forum and I wouldn't want less experienced Warriors to think they should nuke customers for the slightest of mistakes.

I'm aware that that's not what your saying but it could be construed that way.

Just a thought.

Peter

[rapidscc]

whahehehehe

this one made my day!

[Heather Vale]

I would have turned it around...

"It appears the unprofessional wearing the Mickey Mouse outfit is you...

Ever thought that you might just have entered your information wrong?

Yup, that's what happened... this is what you SHOULD be inputting:"

And then if he's still an asshole, well... have a little fun with him before you cut bait!

cheers
Heather

[BIG Mike]

Originally Posted by Peter Bestel

Mike, seems pretty clear cut and obvious that it wouldn't have been a fruitful relationship between you and this customer - better to cut 'losses' for both parties.

But don't you think less experienced Warriors should, in general, tread with a little more caution when dealing with complaints? I'm just aware how influential your comments may be on this forum and I wouldn't want less experienced Warriors to think they should nuke customers for the slightest of mistakes.

I'm aware that that's not what your saying but it could be construed that way.

Just a thought.

Peter

And it's a good thought Peter - but he wasn't nuked for making a slight mistake. Instead, we might politely call it "Obstructing Support" or more plainly just for being an ass.

If there is a lesson here for less experienced Warriors, it should be that you have just as much right to courteous and/or non-abusive email from your customers as they would expect from you. Clearly this individual is not worthy of that and was treated quid pro quo.

My decision to pull the trigger, for those interested, is simply because as a new customer, he has already demonstrated that he will go out of his way to be a problem, rather than simply work with us to help resolve any issues that might come up.

In my experience, these types of people have very little customer lifetime value because so much effort is required to build what is at best, a shakey and most likely short-term relationship anyways.

That said, I've had long-term customers vent at me in the past whom I would not pull the trigger on. More often than not, there is something else going on and I tend to be more patient with those I've already established a solid relationship with.

The most important lesson of course is that each of us has to define and act towards customers like these in our own way. What works well for me may not be applicable to someone else. I would suggest though that at the very least, you not allow your concern over saving a sale to make such behavior acceptable.

[Peter Bestel]

Nice bit of clarification. Thanks Mike.

Peter

[Kevin Riley]

"Greek scumbag"? Dammit, why you get the compliments?

[KarlWarren]

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

"Greek scumbag"? Dammit, why you get the compliments?

Bearded scumbag

Didn't want you to feel left out.

Mike,

I think you did the right thing, and I'd have done exactly the same. It's tempting, when growing a business, to feel that you have to please everybody all of the time - and take it on the chin when people are purposely trying to be difficult.

Have people not realised yet, that a "Mickey Mouse Operation" taken literally, is Disney...?

One of the world's largest brands and a multibillion dollar corporation.

[SimonHarrison]

I think baring in mind the guy was clearly not that PC literate, frustrated he couldn't get his purchase and lashing out , you shouldn't have called him an idiot and numbnuts.

People lose it when they can't get what they purchased and I've seen that hidden characters on cut and paste a few times, sometimes they actually cut a "space" which screws them up .

I have a couple of members areas and the amount of times we get issues like this, it's fricken endless but my support guys have learnt how to deal with them to elicit a positive response and a customer who ends up being profusely thankful and even apologises for his initial ticket.

Yes he went overboard, but you got very personal and abusive, he thought the fact he couldnt login was micky mouse, you in turn called him a numbnuts and an idiot.

Personally I find the best way to deal with people like that is I get my staff to be beyond polite in response.

My guys would have kindly informed him that unfortunately he had cut and pasted his password in and that cut and paste has some issues on occasion, on this occasion it had picked up a rogue character and that was the cause of his problems, but the system was working 100% perfectly.

We appreciate sometimes these issues can occurr but being insulting to our company and support staff doesn't help, we have now changed your password for you, here are the new details.

===

You would be amazed at how snivelling and apologetic they come back to you. Meet very good manners with awful manners and the transformation in the dickhead is almost immediate, especially when it's their fault.

My 2 cents..

[Kevin Riley]

Originally Posted by SimonHarrison

I think baring in mind the guy was clearly not that PC literate, frustrated he couldn't get his purchase and lashing out , you shouldn't have called him an idiot and numbnuts.

People lose it when they can't get what they purchased and I've seen that hidden characters on cut and paste a few times, sometimes they actually cut a "space" which screws them up .

Just because he screwed up a cut and paste barely makes him an idiot. I have a couple of members areas and the amount of times we get issues like this, it's fricken endless but my support guys have learnt how to deal with them to elicit a positive response and a customer who ends up being profusely thankful and even apologises for his initial ticket.

Yes he went overboard, but you got very personal and abusive, he thought the fact he couldnt login was micky mouse, you in turn called him a numbnuts and an idiot.

Personally I find the best way to deal with people like that is I get my staff to be beyond polite in response.

My guys would have kindly informed him that unfortunately he had cut and pasted his password in and that cut and paste has some issues on occasion, on this occasion it had picked up a rogue character and that was the cause of his problems, but the system was working 100% perfectly.

We appreciate sometimes these issues can occurr but being insulting to our company and support staff doesn't help, we have now changed your password for you, here are the new details.

===

You would be amazed at how snivelling and apologetic they come back to you. Meet very good manners with awful manners and the transformation in the dickhead is almost immediate, especially when it's their fault.

My 2 cents..

Simon

All very good and reasonable, but you're forgetting one thing. This is Mike, a slovenly, drunk Greek who when he does surface from an Ouzo haze immediately slugs the nearest person and then falls flat on his face. Do not expect civil manners and the decorum of a gentleman.

[SimonHarrison]

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

Simon

All very good and reasonable, but you're forgetting one thing. This is Mike, a slovenly, drunk Greek who when he does surface from an Ouzo haze immediately slugs the nearest person and then falls flat on his face. Do not expect civil manners and the decorum of a gentleman.

Kevin, this is the reason I havn't touched customer service in years, my tolerance for abusive muppets is paper thin, and that's without drinking my way out of an Ouzo bath every morning.

God bless customer service outsourcing is all I can say. While I'm quite happy up here on my high horse, the truth is ,when I used to do customer service my responses to the kind of ticket Mike got pretty much ended up in the same vein as Mike's, if not worse.

Which is why I hire a customer service couple who don't take personal offence when the company is called names. I don't even look at the tickets any more, serves to keep my blood pressure down.

Seeing as Mike did ask, if he had gone OTT, I just offered my 2 cents based on the wonderful job my customer service staff do.

I'm still trying to pay somebody to create a piece of javascript which induces the monitor to explode in the face of anybody logging an abusive ticket, any coders out there?

[Frank Donovan]

Mike,

Much as I enjoyed your response, and wish I'd responded in a similar way at times, you were probably a tad OTT.

The guy could just have been having having a bad day and I know how frustrating simple things like a failed login can be when you're convinced that it's not your fault. But at least he had the good sense to try to join your site in the first place.

When I had a large eBay store, my biggest customer was a guy who started off as a real pain - complaining and abusive; but when I went back and told him he was right and then asked for his advice, he soon became my cheerleader! A bit of psychology often works.

Frank

[BIG Mike]

Hey Simon,

We get customers this happens to all the time too - its no big deal. They send an email and ask for help and we provide it.

I think baring in mind the guy was clearly not that PC literate, frustrated he couldn't get his purchase and lashing out , you shouldn't have called him an idiot and numbnuts.

Firstly, he wasn't getting a purchase - he hadn't actually paid for anything yet, but presumably wanted to buy something through the Portal.

As I said, quid pro quo - I don't have much tolerance for people lashing out at me for their own mistakes. I don't have too - that's the best thing of running your own business online.

I'm not calling him an idiot for making a mistake with his password, I'm doing so because of his response to the system error message. He made a mistake. The system informed him of this. He flew into a rage rather than simply ask for help (there is an email address on the error message just for this purpose.).

Quid Pro Quo...

This is not the kind of person I want our team to deal with at all. I have more respect for them than that and since I won't tolerate that type of behavior myself, I certainly don't expect them to. And that's been our policy for years now - hasn't hurt business one iota, except for the ocassional lost sale from someone that won't even make a strained attempt at a little common courtesy.

[BIG Mike]

Originally Posted by Frank Donovan

Mike,

Much as I enjoyed your response, and wish I'd responded in a similar way at times, you were probably a tad OTT.

The guy could just have been having having a bad day and I know how frustrating simple things like a failed login can be when you're convinced that it's not your fault. But at least he had the good sense to try to join your site in the first place.

When I had a large eBay store, my biggest customer was a guy who started off as a real pain - complaining and abusive; but when I went back and told him he was right and then asked for his advice, he soon became my cheerleader! A bit of psychology often works.

Frank

Hey Frank,

The OTT was intentional on my part - I don't want him coming back and I don't want him to forget our name...ever.

For a long time in the past, I used to be far more patient and employ the same kind of psychology. More often than not it works too...and then one day I realized that we have so many really good customers who bend over backwards to help us help them, that I don't want to allow any more jerks into the mix. I'm determined to work more with positive, helpful customers and it's working out.

As I said in an earlier post, if this was a long-term customer having a bad day or a personal crisis, I'd have responded much more differently. I would actually have been surprised at such an email to begin, because our support is really, really good.

[BIG Mike]

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

Simon

All very good and reasonable, but you're forgetting one thing. This is Mike, a slovenly, drunk Greek who when he does surface from an Ouzo haze immediately slugs the nearest person and then falls flat on his face. Do not expect civil manners and the decorum of a gentleman.

I can't wait to take you on one of those Ouzo binges

[Chris Lockwood]

I don't know why some people think they'll get better help by sending nasty requests like that, rather than something like "I got this error message. Can you help?"

Can't blame Mike for cutting him loose.

[Greg Cooksley]

Hey Big Mike,

The special bond between us just cracked me up.......lol

You did the right thing you big Greek you.....

Regards

Greg

[BIG Mike]

My own embarrassing support request was to a hosting service in the middle of the night. I was up around 3am with a baby daughter ho wouldn't go back to sleep, so thought I'd do some work on a server. I couldn' login to the WHM for some reason and so emailed support to ask them to check it out (wasn't an angry email or anything).

The tech get's back to me and asks if I was trying to login with the cPanel User Name or the root one. DoH! Too tired I guess.

I looked over at my baby grl and asked her, "Who's got a great big dumbass for a daddy?" LOL...

I emailedthe guy back thanking him and told him I was just going to go off and be embarrassed all by myself now. He got a chuckle out of it and we ended up having a pretty cool techie discussion via email over the next 2 hours.

Anyways, ever since that night I've been getting the most incredible support from them and I really think it was simply establishing a good relationship out of the box so to speak.

[Greg Cooksley]

Originally Posted by BIG Mike

My own embarrassing support request was
to a hosting service in the middle of the night. I was up around
3am with a baby daughter ho wouldn't go back to sleep, so thought
I'd do some work on a server. I couldn' login to the WHM for
some reason and so emailed support to ask them to check it out
(wasn't an angry email or anything).

The tech get's back to me and asks if I was trying to login with
the cPanel User Name or the root one. DoH! Too tired I guess.

I looked over at my baby grl and asked her, "Who's got a great
big dumbass for a daddy?" LOL...

I emailedthe guy back thanking him and told him I was just going
to go off and be embarrassed all by myself now. He got a chuckle
out of it and we ended up having a pretty cool techie discussion
via email over the next 2 hours.

Anyways, ever since that night I've been getting the most
incredible
support from them and I really think it was simply establishing
a good relationship out of the box so to speak.

Hey Mike,

How old is your daughter now????

All because you admitted your mistake and afforded the techie
some respect.....

I've found the most amazing strategy - when I stuff up, I admit
it very quickly......it takes the sting out of the smack that
I was just about to get.....if you get my drift....

Sometimes it's good to just humble yourself.....

So simple and easy.......yet some people just don't get it.....

Regards

Greg

[dbarnum]

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Grek scumbag !!!

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Wow, at least spell "Greek" right, dude

[Eric Johnson]

I dunno, those kind of emails tend to amuse me more than anything so I probably wouldn't have dropped him. Unless this became an ongoing thing.

Can't blame you a bit though. You didn't pull the trigger too early I don't think.

[Dana_W]

So to be clear, Big Mike is a GREK scumbag and Kevin Riley is a BERDED scumbag. Let's call a spade a spade.

[JohnMcCabe]

I've learned that a well-placed tantrum can work wonders sometimes. They key here is "well-placed", and the initial help request is not the place.

I wouldn't tolerate that kind of treatment face-to-face, so why should I tolerate it by email?

If you've ever gotten crosswise of a headwaiter at a snooty restaurant, you know that absolutely correct formal politeness can feel more insulting than any 'mickey mouse" crack.

I've had by far the best success by treating people with respect.

After one session of calling a tech support number, the support person actually thanked me for talking to him like a person. I told him, "We both have a job to do. Your job is to help me when I screw things up. My job is to occasionally screw things up so you have a job."

He got a chuckle. I got his direct extension and instructions for avoiding the voice mail menu.

OPA!

[Louis Raven]

The drunken Grek

[Paul Myers]

Mike,

I might have done exactly what you did, depending on some things I don't know about the specific situation.

I might also have sent him an email telling him what you found as the problem, and suggesting that he try again with an eye to not repeating the mistake. Then mentioning that further abusive language directed at the support staff would result in cancellation of his membership.

If his response to that email was abusive, I'd have nuked him with extreme prejudice.

I'm cutting people more slack lately than in the past. I've been hearing all sorts of oddly stressful comments from people. When called on them, they almost all apologize and remark that they've lost a lot of money in stocks or have other problems related to current situations that aren't within their usual problem range.


Paul

[GuerrillaIM]

#1 Benefit of Having Your Own Business - You can tell customers to **** off without getting sacked

[Tim_Carter]

Originally Posted by Louis Raven

The drunken Grek

lol.

The dudess can't spell Greek. No wonder s/he can't get the password right.
Want me to fly over there and unzip it for her? (the spell checker I mean)

[Peter Bestel]

Originally Posted by GuerrillaIM

#1 Benefit of Having Your Own Business - You can tell customers to **** off without getting sacked

You can't be too cavalier about it, you need to know what you're doing and who you're dealing with.

Your customers can always sack you!

Peter

[Scott Ames]

I've always thought that forms or the code underneath should truncate names, passwords so that a space, hard return, etc. that is picked up during a copy and paste is eliminated. Not many do that.

The other thing I run into a lot is phone number formatting. Usually the programmer just gives an example ie: (822) 999-9999 and restricts entry to that format. Some people copy and paste or enter in their own format and it gets rejected. 822-999-9999 won't work, 8229999999 won't work, etc. Why not just have code to strip the numbers out, put them together, then build the format you like. It makes it easier on the user.

Sometimes users copy and paste phone numbers, but the field is too small because of the formatting requirement.

I'm not blasting you Mike... your thread just made me think of these things. I don't have my pages set up like this yet either, but its on my mind.

[GuerrillaIM]

Originally Posted by Peter Bestel

You can't be too cavalier about it, you need to know what you're doing and who you're dealing with.

Your customers can always sack you!

Peter

True. I do my best to always put myself in the position of my customer so I can empathize with them and best help overcome their problem.

Occasisionly though (not often) I put myself in their position and realise they are a complete a-hole. I realise it is juvenile but sometimes people do actually deserve it, you can only be nice up to a certain point.

Its the point where they say "I demand to speak to your manager!" and i put them on hold for 10 minutes then come back to them saying "Manager speaking" that really makes me happy to be the one in charge.

I talk to hundreds of people every week. I get into words with a customer like this maybe once every 6 months at tops. Don't go around being rude to your customers! Some people do deserve it but they are few and far between.

[GuerrillaIM]

Originally Posted by Scott Ames

I've always thought that forms or the code underneath should truncate names, passwords so that a space, hard return, etc. that is picked up during a copy and paste is eliminated. Not many do that.

Yeah, this is one line of code that validates for blank spaces. It is the number 1 reason people can't login to my site. They cut and paste from email and take a blank space with it.

Putting a quick FAQ in your error message output can help tremendously. I think people get more frustrated when they don't understand the error message or feel it is irrelevant.

[balsimon]

Originally Posted by BIG Mike

Was I too quick to pull the trigger or should I have continued to build upon the special bond between us?

Hi Big Mike -

Only because you asked, yes? Obviously, you have your
opinion and I wouldn't dare to try to take you to task for
it. I'd rather not be a "pure bred mutt scumbag."

In other incarnations, I've had "opportunities" to deal with
hot-heads.

My policy has been, and will probably continue to be: "Three
strikes and your out."

The first strike could simply be indigestion. (I reply
responsively and politely and ask that s/he do similarly
going forward.)

The second strike could simply reflect bad breading - I
mean breeding. (I continue to reply responsively and politely
and ask more firmly that s/he do likewise.)

The third strike - well that's intentional and a pattern.
Time to say good-bye. (I prefer to take the high-road,
despite intense temptation to meet abuse with abuse. I reply
that I'm sorry we can't seem to meet your needs. There are
other services/products that may suit you better. Please try
one of them.)

On more than one occasion, I've had a miscreant come back and
apologize for acting the part of a barbarian; who doesn't do
it again.

On the other hand, I've had people flip me the bird on their
way out the virtual door.

People are people - whether in "real" or in "virtual" life.

Regards,
Bal