Feedback Please on Sales Page

by st2009
4 replies
Hi guys,

First off, don't think this is me spamming as there are no links active on the page below, I am still designing it. I am just looking for feedback as it's the first sales page that I have written. Also please ignore some placement text. Many thanks and any advice would be appreciated.

bit.ly/kaQSO

Thanks!!
#feedback #page #sales
  • Great page Peter! Good for you.

    Overall look is awesome. Social proof pics are powerful.

    Here are some things I would consider testing:

    1. Change the main headline to make it more visitor focused -or - make the sales letter more of a personal "follow me" story (before the change - what I did - how things are now - you can do it too)

    2. Use English that is more country neutral (unless this is not for the US as well as other English markets)

    "whist" and "utilise" in the headline will likely not convert as many US visitors. The overall page is very British.

    3. Put in more sub-headlines

    4. Make sure to keep paragraphs short--no more than 2-3 sentences.

    5. Stay away from "selling" language

    "Sales are limited to..." could be changed to "You will be in exclusive company--we are only going to have xxx members..."

    6. Give your guarantee a better "name"
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  • Profile picture of the author James Jackson
    Keven is spot on the only other thing I could add is...

    1. Include contact info or address for
    more credibilty and...

    2. Get some good cover art.

    James
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    • Profile picture of the author st2009
      Thank you very much guys, I've done a little updating - could you please let me know what you think now? Thanks again for your valuable time.
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  • Profile picture of the author st2009
    Hey guys, sorry to double post. But also when checking out the site could you tell me if it ticks all of Clickbank's boxes, as I have just submitted it for approval. Many thanks!
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