Proof of results on my site, keep it or ditch it?

[David]

I'm having my sales copy reviewed on the copywriting section of WF, so I'm aware that my copy needs to be overhauled.

I have a quick question for the main body of WF:

I pitch local SEO.
My paying clients already know what SEO is, they qualify for what Allen used to call desperate buyers in that they paid too much for web design and just discovered to their horror that a pretty website does absolutely zero towards getting them to rank.

... so they are *pre sold*

• they know what ranking is
• they know they don't have it
• they can see I do
• they can see local business, that they drive by everyday that rank in Google

---
OK, the sales copy writing professionals are telling me to ditch the long list of
"Google this" I have over and over on my sales page.

Here's my site:
Maryland Search Engine Optimization

From the copywriters point of view it is distracting... I have a healthy respect for them and what they suggest, but I think I should keep this part

what do you guys and gals think?

Loose the 'google this' list of rankings?

I'm thinking... what good is an SEO firm if they can't get themselves ranked in the top ten? If I can rank against pros in my field, ranking a mom n pop store is like taking candy from a baby (and it is, I agree with a Warrior who called what I do "low hanging fruit")

[swiminsoda]

It's pretty good until the "Bragging Right". From here, it would be easier to read part by part if you tidy up the words in bold and adjust the spacing.

Lucky you to have advise from copy writing professionals. Stick with the experts' suggestions. I actually kind of enjoyed knowing the 'Google This' part.

Hope this helps.

[BIG Mike]

Well, not to bust your chops here dude, but you may want to rethink a number of things. When I Google Search Engine Optimization, I don't find your site at all - so there's no proof of worldwide ranking that you're promoting.

Additionally, with your guarantee, and the comment about keywords they're targeting, you could be shooting yourself in the foot. What if they want to rank on page one for "Auto Parts" worldwide?

Your web page makes a lot of promises, implied and otherwise - I think I'd remove the pricing altogether and focus on the benefits of ranking well.

I guess what I'm saying is to be careful of what you lock yourself into and leave a way out.

[David]

Originally Posted by BIG Mike

Well, not to bust your chops here dude, but you may want to rethink a number of things. When I Google Search Engine Optimization, I don't find your site at all - so there's no proof of worldwide ranking that you're promoting.

Additionally, with your guarantee, and the comment about keywords they're targeting, you could be shooting yourself in the foot. What if they want to rank on page one for "Auto Parts" worldwide?

Your web page makes a lot of promises, implied and otherwise - I think I'd remove the pricing altogether and focus on the benefits of ranking well.

I guess what I'm saying is to be careful of what you lock yourself into and leave a way out.

Google this keyword phrase:

local google advertising

I'm not pitching that I can get someone to compete worldwide for a keyword
I'm pitching that I can get you top rankings for the geographic area you're in

What if they want to rank on page one for "Auto Parts" worldwide?

I dont compete in that arena.
If you wanted to rank on page for for "auto parts in boise idaho" I can do that

and thanks for the input about loosing the pricing
I am of two minds on that one... with no pricing the assumption the small business owners that are my target market assume it just plain costs too much to be realistic
they'd all love to be able to afford prime time TV ad slots
.. it's just not in the cards

but $1500?
that they can do
hell, it's less than what they waste on yellowpages ads