Please give constructive criticism on my first squeeze page.

15 years ago

hey there adrianr26b here, i like it mate.
I don't think it would hurt to maybe highlight the writing in red, in the background
maybe a yellow or something bright. I think it would stand out more!

Thanks
1 reply

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robcole 15 years ago

Ok thanks.

Is it normal for people to subscribe and not confirm the link?

Thanks
- Thanks
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MaulanaMalik

15 years ago

you may change the header background colour to mix it with the text style.
you may also use shadow for main bg to make it sweet.

warm regards for [YOU],
Maulana Malik

Thanks
1 reply

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Killer Joe 15 years ago

Hi Rob,

Please forgive my bluntness here...

Your page looks like an email scam site and not something most people would readily provide their email address on.

You should add some verbage, we call it copywriting, explaining the BENEFITS of what signing up for your list will do.

The bullet points won't automatically do that for your visitors. Those are what we call FEATURES, and they are good to include, but without an explaination of the benefits of WHY they should give out their private information you won't get many sign-ups.

Additionally, you are asking (implying) that your users install a software on their system. This, coupled with no benefits explaination makes it a hard swallow.

Leave your squeeze box peeking above the fold, and add some benefit laden verbage below if nothing else.

Then keep testing, tweeking, rinsing and repeating.

KJ
- Thanks
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Doug Nicholson

15 years ago

I think you need to work on the headline. It sounds like a
feature and not a benefit to me. Unlocking may allow you
to enjoy the benefits listed in your bullet points, but the headline
doesn't grab me and pull me in with a huge benefit.

How about...
"How To Easily Get 10 Times More Enjoyment From Your Wii"

"Turn Your Wii Into A Powerhouse Of Pure Fun For Free"

Just some thoughts to consider.

Doug

Thanks

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clarissa25

Banned 15 years ago

how did u get the optin box to look that big? Is that plugin of some sort?

Thanks
1 reply

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jasonl70

15 years ago

Originally Posted by clarissa25

how did u get the optin box to look that big? Is that plugin of some sort?

You just use your own html. If you look at the html version of the aweber form (instead of the javascript), you can paste it into an html editor and tweak all you like (just don't change the form values).

Thanks
1 reply

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-Jason

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Jillian Slack

15 years ago

(This is a private and fully protected mailing list. You can unsubscribe at any time).

I would suggest rephrasing this.

The average person visiting your site won't know what you mean by "private and fully protected."

Most people relate to the quick blurb about "We will not sell, rent or share your email address with others" or something similar.

That's what they are concerned with -- being sold, rented or shared with others.

Give them some peace of mind to go ahead and opt-in.

Jill

Thanks
1 reply

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Hesaidblissfully

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Jillian Slack

I would suggest rephrasing this.

The average person visiting your site won't know what you mean by "private and fully protected."

Most people relate to the quick blurb about "We will not sell, rent or share your email address with others" or something similar.

That's what they are concerned with -- being sold, rented or shared with others.

Give them some peace of mind to go ahead and opt-in.

Jill

Agree with this. For the headline, I would get rid of the phrase "unlocking your Wii" (haha *pulls mind out of gutter*) and instead have it focus on the fact that they'll be able to access and play thousands of free games, since that's what gamers want anyway - games.

Thanks

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jasonl70

15 years ago

I would drop the header graphic. It doesn't add to the message, and pushes valuable content below the fold.

While I agree that some more 'benefit' stuff wouldn't hurt, my experience with squeeze pages has been that in some cases even simple feature-centric copy can still convert over 30% if you have a couple benefits-based sentences as an intro (between the headline & bullets).

I'd start pushing traffic to it and just testing things as you go.

Thanks

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-Jason

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ex9to5guy

15 years ago

what software and how long did it take you to do this

Thanks

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Shannon Herod

15 years ago

The first suggestion I would make is to put the opt in box above the fold. I would do that by either putting the opt in box above the bullet points, or floating the opt in box to the right of people appoint.

That right there will drastically increase your conversion rates.

Here's an example of an opt in box above the fold...

Your Very First Dollar Coaching Program?

Talk soon,

Shannon Herod

Thanks

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AndrewStark

15 years ago

As has already been said, get the opt-in box above the fold, put it into 2 colums with the benefits on 1 side & the both on the other.

Try getting an arrow in place to drive the eye towards the call of action you want ie the email box. Your graphics also look really cheap, it may be worth showing a designer a proper squeezepage like Shannon's and using that a template.

Lastly the headline is also weak, I have a wii, and don't even know what a "homebrew application is" but I sure would like to play my older nintendo games, so perhaps have a couple of squeezepages targeting the different features of your product.

Thanks

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MarcMilburn

15 years ago

I agree with everything that has been said so far. I would suggest that you either drop the graphic alltogether OR get a full, slightly more eye grabbing graphics kit designed.

Secondly, yes - it's VERY normal for people not to click the opt-in link. You may find that sometimes people will take a while to stumble across the e-mail and do it in a few days. Those that don't, you have to just put up with.

Cheers,
Marc

Thanks

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AmyBrown

15 years ago

In addtion to the comments above, I before E, except after C in "recieve" in your sign-up box.

Thanks

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"Test fast, fail fast, adjust fast."
Tom Peters

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Ruth Hendrickson

15 years ago

As Amy said, you misspelled the word "receive" in the signup box.

Thanks

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ksmike

15 years ago

All of the above. ;-)

AND, you need better bullets with specific reasons WHY they should give up their email address. All the copy needs some work. Where's the urgency?

And I agree with a previous post that it looks like some kind of scammer site. The website needs to look less amateurish and more professional.

Thanks

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Please give constructive criticism on my first squeeze page.

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