Structure Of Opt-In Video for MAXIMUM Conversion?

Here is some more info:

Currently my opt in video is:

- Telling them and showing them how successful i am
- Talking about my life (all of the benefits of being successful in my nich)
-Talking about how I got to where I am now (industry secrets)
- Telling them I am going to share the secrets with them in the newsletter
- I go through what I'll send them.
- I ask them to sign up.

But I was watching an Eban Pagen Get Altitude video and it said "Don't make your landing pages about YOU, make them about your customer and their frustrations..."

He recommends a structure like this:

- Hi Im XXX
- Breifly touch on how I used to be frustrated by X, Y & Z (same as main customers frustrations) when I started out
- Quickly mention that I am not here to sell you anything...I'm here to help you.
- Over the last 10 years of being an expert in my niche I have... (quickly mention things to build authority and credibility)
- Through doing this I have learned secret techniques to help you get through X, Y & Z frustration quickly and easily.
- Now I will share these secrets with you.
- Simply submit your email address
- Heres what you'll get when you submit your email address
- Bennefits
- Again, simply submit your email address

Do you agree with what Eban is saying? He claims that if I talk about the customer and the frustrations they will connect more than the current video that just talks about how great my life is.... and that the conversion rate will skyrocket.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!