Squeeze Page Review

15 years ago

The copy looks quite good. The only thing I'd add would be a short 60sec video so people get to see who you are and you get to speak their concerns and express sincerity.

Through the video you can point to the opt-in box and encourage them to opt-in for the report,

Hope this helps,
Dale

Thanks

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smisen

15 years ago

Thanks Dale - that's a really good idea. Now I just need a few spare minutes to make a video...

Thanks

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Kevin_Hutto

15 years ago

Hey Smisen,

I think you need to be a little clearer on who you are and why they should opt in for the report... I think that the headline needs to say something like "90% of resumes hit the trash can without even being looked at..." Find Out Why!

Or something like that... A real specific cliffhanger question that will get them to optin for the answer. I have found that people will optin at a much higher rate the more specific you can make the copy.

So I would tell them that for the last 10 years my job has been throwing away resumes just like yours... and I will tell you what gets your resume trashed and what gets it in front of the CEO!

Just sell your USP a little more and be more specific.

kwh

Thanks

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JWB

15 years ago

The site looks good.very professional and I would
add what the previous gentleman said....that you should
get a short video on top...

But..looks good

Thanks
1 reply

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Jillian Slack 15 years ago

You have used "HR" several times throughout the page. Go ahead and spell out "Human Resources" once or twice, and throw in "Personnel Department" as well.

Believe it or not, there are people out there who might not be looking for "HR" or who might wonder what that means.

There are also plenty of people (and workplaces) who still use the term "Personnel" instead.

So use those phrases so you can catch those people.

&

Change each "&" to spend out "and." It just looks nicer and has a better flow for the reader to see a word there instead of stumbling over the symbol. If it was on a sign or you only had so many spaces and couldn't spare switching "&" for "and," it would be different, but you've got room to spell it out.

How figure out - with 100% accuracy - exactly what hiring managers are looking for on your resume.

The word "to" is missing from this bullet point.

The suggestion for a short video is fabulous. Take advantage of the opportunity to reinforce why you are an expert. Make sure the visitor understands that you (as the HR assistant) are the gatekeeper that the applicant must get past in order to make his or her way to the hiring professional.
- Thanks
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smisen

15 years ago

Thanks all for the fantastic advice - much appreciated!!!

Thanks

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Jason Keith

15 years ago

I Love the design and colors used. Very nice squeeze page which should convert well for you.

Thanks

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Kenneth Fox

15 years ago

Looks very professional to me. I would try a video as well and test the two
to see which gets the best conversions.

Thanks

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Josef_Benjamin

15 years ago

Great squeeze page.

I would also add but a short 30sec to 1 min video
of yourself on there. Make's it much more personal.

Strangly enough, I thought about doing something like
this (i've had 11 jobs in my life). Never saw anything
like this, and in this economy, your report would help
many ppl get a job and make you money doing it as a
business.

have fun

Thanks

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disi

15 years ago

Originally Posted by smisen

Hey Warriors,

I haven't done much in the way of squeeze pages before, so I'm hoping some of you helpful souls can take a look at one I've put together and let me know if I'm on the right track.

The address is Confessions of an HR Assistant - Get the Insider Secrets You Need to Get a Job! - it's for a free report I've put together for people who are looking for jobs. It's actually good information - my "real" job is in HR - so I'm hoping to get it out to as many people as possible.

Specifically, if you have any feedback on the text, I'd really appreciate it. I do a lot of article writing, but copy writing isn't my strong suit!

Thanks so much for any feedback

Sarah

Great design! Who did it for you?

Thanks

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smisen

15 years ago

Thanks again for the feedback - you guys are fantastic!

@disi - The design is by Coverscorp. He does WSOs all the time and does a fantastic job - I think the whole design cost less than $50.

Thanks
1 reply

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Killer Joe 15 years ago

Hi Sarah,

I Like your page

Here's a quick fix...you may not be aware that on my browser and many others your headline is broken up so it doesn't read or look good.

In your code you have this:
“This absolutely FREE report hands you the tips, techniques & tricks that are guaranteed to get YOU the high-paying full time job, co-op, or summer internship position you want”

Notice I highlighted the offending tags in red. These are "breaks", and they break the text to the next line.

However, the code line starts and ends correctly with the - "start paragraph/end paragraph" tags so you don't need or want the tags. They just screw it up on browsers like mine and many others. You should have them removed.

Jillian made a great point about including the entire words Human Resources on the page. You need this to help with your SEO. At least it couldn't hurt.

KJ
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- Ross Bowring 15 years ago
 
 Love the angle you've taken.
 
 I picked up a missing "to" in this bullet...
 
 How (to) figure out - with 100% accuracy - exactly what hiring managers are looking for on your resume.
 
 And you should go with "you'll discover..." rather than "you'll learn..."
 
 Learning sounds too much like work.
 
 Thanks
 
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AndrewStark

15 years ago

Firstly it's great to see all the basics in place, with arrow eye sliders to the opt-in box.

My only convern would be that you've overplaying the free aspect, so I'd go for a different headline. The bullets maybe reveal a bit too much, so you could replace them with a video?

Here's a headline you could test

"If You Don't Update You CV Now, You'll Hate Yourself Later"

Hope this helps you and your conversions increase.

Thanks

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