Arrogant or confident?

I love this question. Been called a few things in my life and this one always made me chuckle. Here's MY definition.

Confidence, a belief in your own abilities.

Arrogance, a belief in your own abilities as superior to others AND demonstrate this through poor and degrading behavior towards others.

The kicker though is this...

If you are in the presence of "weak" characters, any confidence may be misinterpreted as arrogance simply because THEY have self-esteem issues.

Of course, if you truly are being a d*ck no matter what, then it's arrogance :p

Am I arrogant or am I confident?

Yes.

haha quality

I was not being a d**k lol the simple question was what have you dont today this week bla bla bla.

NIce interpretation I agree with you on this might send her the link later.

Danny

PS i have never been called arrogant in all my years I am a fairly held back chap

Well it's arrogant you came here and asked us if we're arrogant.

haaa no I'm joking. Ignore the small stuff. Your cousin called you arrogant, so what. You don't have to prove anything to them.

Look at the upside, it made you look in the mirror, that's always a good thing.

Hahahaha, do you really care?

I would not worry about it if you know your success.

I have been called uptight and serious, then not too long after asked by the same people what I am doing to succeed. Its called FOCUS!!!!!

I would not bother with what others think it is likely coming from a lack of understanding of who you really are!!!

I just make it sound like I have a job.

I help companies find customers online and get a percentage of sales.

Then change the subject.

Details just makes them try and downplay what you do, or make them jelous and call you names to make them feel superior to you because of their own self image issues.

Aaron

Arrogance may be the vehicle you are using to portray your confidence. Perception is truth so, take your cousin's comment as cue to monitor your delivery and demeanor just in case you are inadvertently portraying arrogance to some.

A thought...

Don't explain yourself. Your friends don't need it, and your enemies won't believe you!

Having your cousin tell you were arrogant, tells us much more about him than it does about you. I bet he works a J.O.B., not much in retirement savings, lives paycheck to paycheck, probably has a smaller house, definitely has a smaller income, not an entrepreneur, and resents your success. But I guess it would be arrogant of me to make this assumption?

When people see you succeed it will often draw envy, and sometimes this is unavoidable. That's why in my opinion it's always best to maintain a bit of a calm but humble opinion in regards to any success. That way it's easier for those who aren't envious to see you as humble, and as for the rest...

Let them rot in their private hell.

Danny,

Since I don't know you, I won't presume to judge you, but instead offer my take on how this works.

You didn't say what was said to your cousin, but in light of what Lisa posted about your Twitter page, it may give some insight into the problem. The post does come off as a bit arrogant, but more so insulting.

The bigger problem is how do others perceive you. If one or two think that, then it happens, especially with family. they can be the worst. But of more see that in you then it's something to consider and I think you the type of person to do that.

Perception is what people take away from a time spent with you. If you dress like a slob, then they will think you are a slob. If you dress for success, then that's what they will think. And so on.

It becomes more crucial with what you say. Words can help or they can hurt. They build up or destroy. Once they come out, they are hard to take back.

The thing I see with confident people is they don't have to tell people how good they are. If they are good at what they do, their actions amd results will tell it all. Confidence is never boastful and always willing to offer a lind word of encouragement if needed.

People that have to tell me how good they are, usually are overcompensating for something they lack in their character. Usually are insecure about their abilities and need verification from others.

People that are good at what they do will show me by how they handle themselves. If they have to tell me, then I walk away. The ones that are really confident will prove it by what they do.

I always tend to sum up this type of problem with a saying I am fond of.

"A fool is proved wise in his silence. he removes all doubt, when he opens his mouth.

Thanks,

John

Hey Danny,

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and so are most things.

Arrogant is a word often used by insecure people.

If you care about this person and you think they're upset by your arrogant behavior (or whatever they used as evidence of it), then sure - factor that in for sure but in reality - you don't control what other people think of you, so if you're happy and you have great relationships with the people you care about - let it go.

You'll never be what everyone else wants you to be - there really will be people who care about you that resent your success. Even aspiring to be successful can make some people feel resentful because they see what they're not doing.

Just be yourself and work on the relationships you care about.

Andy

Hello,

I think that arrogance is beneficial quality for those that are highly able and intelligent. I think that most leaders have to be that way to avoid being led off the correct path by those that are less able. But arrogance and stupidity is a very dangerous combination!

Am I arrogant? Just asked my other half and she said definitely. Am I offended? Absolutely not. Nice people are good at parties.

Andy

Arrogance is another word for too much confidence.

"Too much" is something most people define as "more than I have."

Now, there are certain things I don't respect. There are attitudes I find offensive and stupid. One of those things is the mentality that nobody should have more than you.

Lots of people have this mentality. (Republicans normally don't, but I digress.) They like to call it "equality," and whinge about "fair" and "community" and crap like that... but that's not really what they want. They can have more than other people. Indeed, they'll make good and sure you never get more than they do, if they can.

And I think that's offensive. I think the people with that attitude are stupid, mean, and hypocritical. And if I come across someone that has it, I'm going to put off a pretty strong "screw you and the horse you rode in on" vibe once I notice it.

That might look like I'm arrogant, but it's really called "standards." I expect everyone to have a certain minimal level of respect and consideration for fellow human beings, and if you don't have it, I don't like you. It has nothing to do with your lack of confidence, except to the extent that it's what makes you such a jerk.

For some people the two words are the same and it typically is an issue of jealousy. Stating a fact sometimes such as "that you sit on the beach with a beer writing" could come off as arrogant...when it is simply a fact. They don't have to live your life and if they were smart they would ask you "ummmm...can I sit on the beach with you and write too?" No worries dude...pray for them

Honestly, if you were just confident and not arrogant, you wouldn't have made this thread in the first place.

A big chunk of being confident means being able to walk away from an insult feeling as confident as before. Arrogance is rooted more in a sense of achievement, driven by any small victory over insecurities.

But to be really honest, outside of movies, I haven't met any man or woman in my entire life who I would classify as 'truly confident' - we all have our little nervous ticks and flaws. And if not that, we have arrogance.

So three cheers to arrogance. Or even nervous insecurities. We've made too much out of confidence anyway..

I have seen my family fighting over a fork! The reason of the comment was not this! There are issues other than the one you describe that have caused this. Jelousy could be one of them but not just. This reaction was only the icing on the cake; an excuse. So yes, he thinks you are arrogant. Are you?

Hello All,

I am the sort of person that doesnt care what other people think. I take advice and use it accordingly however I do also agree with what is said by a lot of you guys. I am not arrogant a little too focussed and confident maybe but I dont go bragging about what i do I still tell people I am a plasterer easier...lol

As far as donkey work I wasnt intending on offending just find that its a little boring for me.

I have a saying I do what I do best while someone else does what they do best. I would never paint my house I'd pay a painter might save me £100 but in the long run its better to get the best done by a pro.

Danny

Why would you be mad at this? It really does not matter what a person perceives you as. You know who you are, just live that way. It matters not.

Haha ebay is great!!

I dont even mention what I do now its easier

Danny

I STRONGLY AGREE!!!

It's more on a jealousy and self-esteem issues.

You're just telling them the truth...

Lisa, Only seemingly, and only to the person holding the perception. If it's inaccurate, it's also likely to come back and bite them later.

It's good to recommend that people look at such comments, if they hear them often or think there might be truth to them. Generally speaking, you should ignore them if they come from just one or two people, or a category whose opinions are ill-informed or likely to be motivated by less than benevolent urges. Piffle.

In many, many cases, you don't even know the basis for their perceptions. They could arise from things you aren't aware of and can't possibly foresee or adjust to.

For instance, when people ask what I do, I tell them: I'm a writer. I've run into people whose perceptions of writers are such that they immediately assume I'm a recluse and socially inept. I have no control over that, and don't care to bother trying.

Some of these perceptions are so ingrained that nothing will affect them. Why bother anyway? Who cares? There is no better filter to ensure that you're surrounded by like-minded people than to be yourself.

"Who do you think you are, trying to please everyone? Even God can't do that."



Paul

Arrogant or Confident. That is a question for the ages.

The answer to that is (at least to me) absolutely dependent on the person making the observation to begin with.

A very confident person seems arrogant to a insecure or weak person, while that same confident person can seem merely confident and sure of him/her self to an expert in that field.

I do believe it does good to look in the mirror and review yourself, but the answer to the question...

"Am I arrogant or confident?"

There are many answers, and none of them are just right!

Rog