1 Month, 1,001 Unique Visitors...1 Sale! =( Critques Welcome!

by 24 comments
Hey warriors!

So in the past month I've managed to make my product, get my site up and running, and am now consistently driving about 50 visitors a day to it.

That makes me pat myself on the back and all...but for this work I still only have 1 sale to show for it. Clearly, after 1,000 visitors, I know my sales copy isn't up to par.

I've done some critiquing based on warriors previous advice, but obviously I need to do some more.

If anyone could take a quick glance and throw me some more tips I'd greatly appreciate it!

Also, my e-book as well as bonus reports is priced at $37.95. Any thoughts on this price, is it too high? Pick Up/Dating niche.

Thanks in advanced warriors for your help and advice, you guys are a huge part of why I've made it this far.

Edit: The site is in my sig but I figured I'd list it in the post just in case. http://www.LearnHowToSeduceWomen.com

Edit 2: I just purchased instant popover and am going to get a nicer looking popover just as soon as I figure out how to make this thing work properly. Figured I'd save someone that reply...I know my pop over is ugly! =P

Mad Dawg
#internet marketing #001 #critques #month #sale #unique #visitors1
  • Profile picture of the author alexshelton
    Hey, the copy is pretty good, could do with spicing up a bit though! same with the graphics, quite dull, i think with a bit more colour and a bolder sales letter this could be pretty good, I'd personally only pay about $25-30

    good luck dude
  • Profile picture of the author GlynisG
    Take a look at the keywords you are using to drive traffic. Are they targeted to potential buyers or is your site just attracting curious websurfers?
    • Profile picture of the author Mad Dawg
      Most of my traffic comes from long tail keyword optimized ezine articles. In the resource box I offer my free mini course and more information on the long tail keyword.

      I'm assuming at least 5% of these people have to be interested buyers. Is that wrong to assume?
  • Profile picture of the author joshrodrigue
    I would put more images of women on the page to try and intice the reader. Make it to where they need the info because the "hot" women say so.
  • Profile picture of the author jan roos
    Your site looks pretty good to me too, I think you should have made more sales. I would drop the price a little bit though
    • Profile picture of the author Mad Dawg
      Thanks for the input guys. Anyone have a stock photo site they use that they suggest for me to use to get more pictures of hot women on my site?

      Also, I'm going to test a lower price. Think $27.95 seems more reasonable to buyers?
  • Profile picture of the author Aaron Moser
    Yo Mad Dog,

    Istockphoto.com is a good place to find images.

    As far as your sales page goes I'm going to give you my advice that will make it convert higher.
    Put your emotions aside for a minute and take a look at this.

    To be honest it looks amateurish...

    First of all put your opt-in pop-up on a longer delay. Maybe 8-10 seconds or so. It feels a bit spammy as it is right now. I'd do something else with it like remove the pop-up altogether and incorporate it into the sales page instead of a pop-up.

    I bet if you looked at your stats you'd see most people were staying less than 5 seconds. And that pop-up might be the reason why.

    Next major thing is your header image...

    Sure you may be a pimp with the ladies, point taken but the header looks amateur. It just looks like some random guy attempting to sell his info. It doesn't appeal to me and I'm your target audience.

    Even if you're in love with the header I'd scrap it and just put a hot chick on there. Hire a designer for $40-$80 to make a real good one for you.

    Next thing is your body text...

    You have too many headlines... and too many inconsistent font sizes.
    Pick one headline and make the other two headlines smaller.

    Make the text indent more on both sides so the text isn't so close to the edges.

    Also you have too many colors of font going on. Scrap the orange text and orange highlights. Again it look amateur.

    Also you shouldn't have any paragraphs over 4 lines. Break up those paragraphs more and it'll look better.

    Make the width of you testimonial boxes all the same width.

    Also your buy button needs a complete overhaul.

    If you want your sales page to convert well you need to take a serious look at some of these things..

    Have a look how the DoubleYourDating sales letter looks. It's all neat and pretty. Yours is all over the place.

    Also you should replace the bullet point dots with checkmark icons or something.

    Focus on making yours look more neat and you should increase conversions more.

    If you really want to get serious I'd add some video of yourself and video testimonials from you buddies. It'll make a huge difference in conversions as well.

    Good luck man, Keep up the hard work!
  • Profile picture of the author Ralf Skirr
    My first impression was that the site looks unprofessional and out-dated. pardon the pun ;-)

    Since you obviously know how to get targeted traffic you should focus on improving the sales letter. There are so many obvious things you can improve that reducing the price is maybe the LAST thing I would try.

    Some suggestions:

    - I'd put an hour or two in making the site look more professional. The header. the photoshopped image of ...yourself? The almost non-existent margins left and right. Plus all the stuff mentioned in the previous post from norcaldude.

    - Use 1 main headline instead of 2. They are almost equal, so the focus of the reader is not directed to the main message as it should be.

    - For me the sig after the headline and the date interrupt the flow of reading. They - as copy wirters love to say - stopped me dead in my tracks. But not they way they should.

    - For the call to action the click bank button may be enough :-)

    - Once the look of the site is cleaned up set up a split test to test several headlines against each other. See what happens.

  • Profile picture of the author Terry Hatfield
    Time for some tough love Maddawg,

    Last time you asked for advice someone suggested that you get more spacing around the text in your salesletter. Far as I can see you haven't changed your letter.

    It looks really bad with the spacing like that.

    Also, I believe I recommended to get rid of the clickbank icon by your order button and to take all the info on the second page and put it on the first page.

    If you are making them click twice to get to the order page you are losing sales for certain.

    Yes you have to test price for sure, but only after you get the very obvious things that have been pointed out to you taken care of.

    I don't want to sound mean here because really I am a nice guy and just want you to succeed.

    But if you don't take the advice you have already been given and at least test it then I don't see how coming on here and asking for more advice is going to help you.

    If you have already tested the advice you was given before then forgive me while I take my foot out of my mouth.

    O.K I was to mean in this post. Someone yell at me. But I am just trying to give you a wake up call, I see too many people get great advice and they do nothing with it. Don't be one of them.

    End of tough love session.

  • Profile picture of the author atom1980
    Hey nice work Mad Dog.

    Personally I would remove that added step you have put in the order process. Just take them straight to CB order form from your sales letter. I could very well be wrong, but the less jumps they have to make, the more likely they'll buy.
    • Profile picture of the author Terry Hatfield
      Maybe someone can elaborate on this more than I can, but when I click on your order button and get to the actual clickbank order page on the bottom of the page when you scroll down it says affilliate=none.

      If I'm not mistaken this should have your user ID. It should say affilliate=userID.

      I would check that you are doing you hop link correctly.

      Maybe you are doing some cloaking trick I don't know. Like I said I'm not a big clickbank user.

      Any experience clickbanker's able to comment on this?

  • Profile picture of the author jasonl70
    Here's what you might want to test... set it up along the lines of how double your dating used to be. I wouldn't even mention the product, but concentrate on getting the opt-in for the freebie. Then market your product on the back end.
    just an idea....
  • Profile picture of the author Terry Hatfield
    Thanks guys,

    I momentarily forgot he was selling his own ebook and thought he was selling someone else's ebook.

  • Profile picture of the author TimGross
    Here are issues to test with the potential to increase sales the most:

    1) As others have said, get rid of the 2-step order page, very confusing... Have the "order" link go straight to clickbank

    2) No one can tell you what price will sell best, but you're at the top of the standard range for an entry-level product like this IMO, which would be $17 - $39.

    3) When you test lower prices, don't just have the price lower, list the higher price and the temporarily reduced price.

    4) I'd test scraping the "fake" drawing of you and drop the photo at the top into it, the actual photo with the girls, or some other "real" photo.

    5) Simarly, and you won't know it unless you test, but "Mad Dawg" is probably not the name your Mom gave you... A fine moniker, as in 'Steve "Mad Dawg" Jenkins' or whatever, but there may be a high level of concern with potential buyers that you're hiding your real name because you're not legit.

    If you don't list your real name, then list a ton of ways people can contact you so they know you're legit.

    6) Change "Even if you're fat, bald, or poor", to "Even if you're fat, bald AND poor". (Let's face it, they're not mutually exclusive)

    7) List the price, THEN the bonuses, THEN the order link. Some readers may not make it past your first order link to even see your bonuses listed as it stands now.

    8) Cut out the "If you think it all sounds too good to be true, feel free to leave my site at any time. " In my book it's overused and a waste of space in the sales letter.

    Good luck - Tim Gross
    • Profile picture of the author Mad Dawg
      Norcaldude thank you so much, tough love, much needed!

      Terry, I increased the margins as you said before but apparently from everyones responses it needs to be more. Oh, and you weren't mean. These comments are exactly what I need!

      Tim, awesome tips for sure!

      And to everyone else I didn't mention, thank you!

      These tips are exactly what I needed and I can't wait to spend all night implementing every single one of them.

      Warriors, I greatly appreciate the feedback. Without this forum it might have taken me another year to be where I'm at now, and apparently 2 more years to get a second sale!

      Thanks again guys, I'll make sure to make my next post "Converting at 3% on the Front End, Thanks Warriors"

      Noah "Mad Dawg" Tyrrell
  • Profile picture of the author Aaron Moser

    No problem man! We just want to see you succeed.

    If you follow our tips and advice you're sales page should end up looking something similar to onlinepickupsecrets.com (as far as text formatting goes)

    Hit me up with a PM if you need help or want another critique.
  • Profile picture of the author Andres
    Sup Mad Dog!

    Ok - I run an affiliate site centered on this type of product so here are my thoughts.

    1) Overhaul the graphics:
    -With the header graphic I would change the text
    -The head shot of yourself I would make more cartoonish
    -Change the eCover

    *If you have to pay for new graphics --- do it!

    2) Get rid of the orange highlight. ZReplave it with yellow

    3) Switch the red text with this #CC0000. It will look better at least I think.

    4) Use a scanner to scan your signature and upload that as .JPG

    5) Place the "Order Today" above the Clickbank graphic

    6) For the newsletter pop-up I would list several benefits, tips or bullet points the subscriber will get.

    Hit me wth a PM, I know a dude that does awesome ecovers and graphics for dating sites.

  • Profile picture of the author Tim Franklin
    I took a look at the site,

    My first impression was that, it looked like it needs some help.

    My second thought was about the product itself.

    Who would buy this product?

    What age would they be?


    College age, in other words, what income range is the target demographics?

    Sometimes you have to target those that have more disposable income, in order to get the sales.

    If it were me I would look at the dating angle, relationships good and bad, could bring in a more comprehensive and stable customer base.

    I would go out and do some video interviews, rework the product and the website, the left side of the header is better than the right side,

    You might sell a little with the current product, but imagine selling a larger product with a seduction chapter included.

    appeal to a slightly older demographic and you could make a lot more sales.

    Create a product exclusively for men and one for women and you may get some cross over, curiosity can be a great seller,

    Just a few thoughts,
    • Profile picture of the author haridasz
      Hello !

      you might want to do a spell check on your sales page as well as your order page.
      caught this bummer in your order page:
      "That is a Total Value of $172.55 for Only $37.95 and Rememeber..."


      NicheALot.com - A Knight In Shinning Armour For Keyword Research
  • Profile picture of the author 2bwealthy
    graphics needs to be improved, basically need new graphics.
    add space to the side margins, left and right.
    Change some fonts around.
    indent a bit on the points/paragraphics.
    get rid of the clickbank logo.
    1 sales page instead of making it 2 seperate pages.
  • Profile picture of the author Joseph Then
    Your graphics needs to be better than that. I went as a buyer but I have no interest to read it.

    First, I thought it's too many headlines

    Then, the graphics don't look pro enough.

    That makes me want to scroll down to the bottom of the page, the eCover looks too cheesy to entice me to buy anything.

    Then, I got too many "Order Today" screaming at me, it's like a salesman trying to push their encyclopedia at my door.

    Try changing the graphics, someone at WSO is offering really GOOD price in doing up professional graphics. Get one from her:

    I bought one and it was great!

    Hope that it helps.

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