Sales Page Feedback Please

[Ayrtonx5]

Hello Warrior Forum

I'm a forum virgin and just 24 hours old.

I recently released my first product specifically for the Australian jobs market and would be grateful for feedback regarding my sales page.

All feedback welcome

Many thanks

Glenn Ayrton

www selectioncriteriawriter dot com

[acrasial]

1. With the way the page looks, I think the images in the background etc... make it look more like a template than an actual sales page. The reason I say this, is if you were ever on any sort of website for stock images or any other visual product for sale, they always have their name branded across the middle of every photo... or an X...etc... and the background of your page reminds me of this.

2. The way you wrote the headings.. there are two. Make the main heading at the very top, and in red- and anything else UNDER IT smaller. You MUST grab the attention of the person within the first few milliseconds... and by having your main point/title at the very top, rather than this line (which is small and black...Stop writing selection criteria the hard way. Here's how to quickly find selection criteria examples and selection criteria answers fast."....)


3. There are some spelling errors on your page, and if that is the case... then presumably there may also be some grammatical errors, as the two often go hand in hand.

4. Where it says ...

The best person for the job is always successful when applying for government positions

Usually, the best writer is successful when applying for government positions

Suggestion...Change the way that this appears... as it looks like the beginning of your sentence... rather than options people choose- you can choose to add that little box, where you check it with a check mark, etc... but it's very close to the sentence... thus looks like a header.

5. I noticed near the end of your page, you have added a screenshot of the secure order form on the next page, very good!

6. Did you make this page quickly? just wondering?

As for the content, I am reading it all.. and as a consumer... so far, I am not caught in your marketing skills...

The way you are putting certain things in, seems a bit choppy... and like you are desperate for a sale.

Before you even told people what it's about, etc... (any information really) you have already put in a download link, then another thing saying its 100% safe... people will think you just want their money. Give them the information first, make them trust you, and gain their trust... then move on into that area... that Is my suggestion for building better sales, and ctr's.

7. The voice thing is good as well, by the way... as well as the personalization of the date, with your photo.

You may also want to try some sort of window that opens, or intellichat chat box... when the person moves the mouse near the close button which comes up and says something like "wait bla bla"... These may work very well, especially the intellichat, as alot of people think it's a real human. That's also another option, since you seem to know about a few other marketing techniques.

[Matt Jutras]

Hey Glenn,

It's pretty good! Follows a good formula, with punchy easy-to-read copy.

I like it!

Good luck with the product,

Matt

[acrasial]

I have PM'd you with some other things as well, hope this can help you- but as Matt says, it's "pretty good"... but presumably you want it more than just "pretty good"... so hope you can get it to where you want it to be... and hope some other people can come offering some suggestions-

Regards-

[Ayrtonx5]

Matt - Thanks for the feedback.
Regards
Glenn

[Ayrtonx5]

Acrasial
Thanks very much for your detailed feedback points. Greatly appreciated.

Kind regards

Glenn Ayrton

[Doctor Article]

Hi Glen

Looks good to me but then again, I'm certainly not qualified to comment. Anyway, I don't mean to hijack your thread but if any of the members would so kind as to take a look at my landing page as well and then offer advice, I'd be thrilled

[acrasial]

Originally Posted by Doctor Article

Hi Glen

Looks good to me but then again, I'm certainly not qualified to comment. Anyway, I don't mean to hijack your thread but if any of the members would so kind as to take a look at my landing page as well and then offer advice, I'd be thrilled

If that is in fact your page... the middle of it looks like a poem, as you have centered everything...

and as mentioned to a certain someone else here... show them some of the things they can get.

People are not sold on looks alone, but rather are sold on information.

Offer some samples or more information, as the person reads this... and basically you are just demanding that they get your service...without any testimonials, information, or offerings...lol



But once I click that button... it goes to another sales page... so there are two different pages....which one do you want help with exactly?

both pages look so different, as well!

[Kezz]

A couple of points of feedback, as a web designer, and as an Aussie who's previously worked with government.

As a web designer, the white background element stretches out quite a bit wider than I suspect it's supposed to on my 1680px wide monitor. I would have given you the code to fix it but you have right click disabled

On that note, disabling right click probably isn't a big help to you, as some people like to navigate (back and forward) via right click shortcuts, and it's very easy to save out images and / or hotlink to them if you really want to. Personally, I think it's more beneficial to allow people to use right click if they would like to.

As an Aussie who has worked with government, I would go for a bit more of a toned down presentation style. I'm sure your experience has been the same as mine, that folks in government tend to be somewhat conservative. I think you will have more appeal to this group of people if you adopt a conservative presentation style to suit.

I would go for more navy blue, fewer happy looking icons and more of an up market executive kind of a style. A good point of reference would be actual Australian Government websites, like this for example: http://www.australia.gov.au/

Even though you're not dealing with a corporation per se, I still think a corporate style look would help you appeal to your target market.

I hope that helps, and good luck with your product!

[Ayrtonx5]

Hello Kez

Thanks for your feedback. Greatly appreciated.

Glenn Ayrton

[dave147]

Glen,
Great sales page. I don't see anything else needing improvement

[TheMagicShow]

Originally Posted by Ayrtonx5

Hello Warrior Forum

I'm a forum virgin and just 24 hours old.

I recently released my first product specifically for the Australian jobs market and would be grateful for feedback regarding my sales page.

All feedback welcome

Many thanks

Glenn Ayrton

www selectioncriteriawriter dot com

That's a nice looking site fella. Very clean, good headline, lots of good bullets, testimonials, benefits as well. The graphics look very professional as well, good luck on your sales!

[Ayrtonx5]

Thanks Magic Mel - appreciate the feedback.

Glenn

[Ayrtonx5]

Hi Acrasial
It's been a week since I applied the feedback from your post and my conversions have gone through the roof. Thank you so much.

Kind regards

Glenn Ayrton