Being a nice guy or a bad boy in IM?

[Aitor Astobieta]

In the dating world, there is a saying that "nice guys finish last."

Some say that women are attracted to "bad boys." I have seen this myself although this is not true for all women, for sure.

Dealing with women, I have always been confronted with the dilemma of whether to behave like a bad boy or to be a nice guy. The problem is that I tend to be a "nice guy" by nature. Hence the reason I am single.

Apply this to the Internet marketing arena.

Mr. Nice Guy Internet marketer:

• Provides valuable content.
• No hype. Just reality.
• Works hard.
• Practices price-stretching, by overdelivering on content and reducing the price.
• Follows ethical marketing behavior.
• He is honest and actually gives a damn about his subscribers/customers (what a revolutionary concept).
• Gives away a lot of material for free.

Let's introduce Mr. Bad Boy marketer:

• Provides rehashed content at a high price.
• Hypes things to the extreme.
• Borrows content from others, changes it around, and sells it for outrageous prices.
• Ethical? Maybe or maybe not. He plays with people's emotions, making them feel as they need the product he is selling. But then we as Internet marketers are always somehow appealing to people's emotions.
• Dishonest and doesn't give a damn about his customers, although he promotes a fake appearance of honesty.
• Doesn't give much for free.

I won't name names here, but you know some "gurus" who fit the latter Bad Boy profile.

I have to confess that I have "Internet Marketing Bipolar Disoder"; i.e. sometimes I have acted as the nice guy and sometimes as the bad boy.

Once I actually split-tested both personalities by sending different types of emails leading to two different squeeze pages:

• One squeeze page was full of hype with big highlighted words. The email subject and content was also hype through and through.
• The other squeeze page was plain, and rather "boring." The email also went to the point with no hype whatsoever.

Results? Mr. Nice Guy won! Yuhuuuuu...

Acting as Mr. Nice Guy resulted in a higher conversion rate for my second squeeze page. People were wary of all the hype.

But this was sent to a double opt-in list containing people who were probably intermediate or advanced Internet marketers.

Yet here is something I have noticed from some of the "bad boy gurus":

Exaggeration works!

It may not work on you or me, or other Warriors, but it certainly works on some people.

But here is the problem: how do you feel morally about yourself after making exaggerated claims about your product, report, or service?

I have to admit I felt really bad, despite some people signing up to my list and buying my products.

So I want to hear from others what your experiences have been.

Have you tried to maintain a no B.S. personality, knowing that although it might be boring, you are being honest to yourself and to others?

Or have you tried the other side of coin, by providing more entertainment value than real content? By making false and exaggerated claims? What were the results?

It's your time to come clean!

Greetings to all of you.

[Peter Adamson]

Personally, I no longer read long hyped up sales letters. I can smell the hype a mile away, but I know it works for newbies.

Myself, I under promise and over deliver, dialogue with my users and do what I can to help them achieve their goals. For now it is working. I think if I promoted my own product using bad boy tactics it would seriously harm my reputation very quickly.

[KristofferW]

I definitely can't lie to people, whether it's my own product or not.
Recently I made a review site that currently houses 12 products. I got some new review copies from one site owner, and it turned out that he was selling products that he hadn't even finished making yet.

Now he's gone from being one of the top rated on my site to having a warning label below his link. And that will stay until he finishes the products or stops the false marketing, giving his honest competitors the edge.

[Marc Rodill]

You raise a good point. The answer is simple: be yourself, and test things.

Just like you have done.

But I want to address this,

Originally Posted by Aitor Astobieta

...

Once I actually split-tested both personalities by sending different types of emails leading to two different squeeze pages:

• One squeeze page was full of hype with big highlighted words. The email subject and content was also hype through and through.
• The other squeeze page was plain, and rather "boring." The email also went to the point with no hype whatsoever.

Results? Mr. Nice Guy won! Yuhuuuuu...

Acting as Mr. Nice Guy resulted in a higher conversion rate for my second squeeze page. People were wary of all the hype.

But this was sent to a double opt-in list containing people who were probably intermediate or advanced Internet marketers.

...

I'm sorry, but this test is not valid. It certainly brought you a result, one that you can see, but this doesn't make it "true."

First of all, this was YOUR list. They have been preconditioned to your style already. If you send them something you classify as a "hypey" page, it's not going to coincide with everything else you have sent them. It's going to feel "off" to them right from the start.

You'd literally have to test this 100 times with 100 different lists before you could get conclusive data on the market using it. Plus, there are so many ways to hype things...

But anyway, I just wanted to add that to the discussion. Interesting post.

Marc

[corporation]

The best way is to be yourself.
Almost anything works if you do it your way!

Ciao
Enrico

[Christophe Young]

I agree, always best to be yourself and not pretend to be someone you are not. It works in all aspects of life, ESPECIALLY with women. Women are VERY keen to someone who is putting on false self.

BTW, I talk a lot about this in my dating product and after going through it, you WON'T be single anymore.

[Craig.Michaels]

I find it funny that you compare dating to internet marketing in a way you are correct.

In dating you are selling yourself to female prospects, in internet marketing you are selling your product in a niche.

In the same way a pick up artist gets the girl, you need to be the marketer getting your customer into your sales funnel.

If you know about "dating theories" or "pick up" or anything of that behavior, you will learn that women don't want the bad guys they just want confidence and a real man. It just so happens that a lot of bad guys contain admirable traits, but that does not mean that the women only want bad men, they just like the traits they contain.

In the same way, a marketer should show some good traits, this would include

1) Being honest with integrity
2) Developing a good relationship with the customer
3) Proving a solution for a real problem.

I liked what Peter Adamson said though. Under promise, but over-deliver. That way no matter what your approach is, your customer will feel grateful to you, for providing things they didn't expect.

In a way, this can even be seen as unethical or black hat because you are framing yourself as a caring individual even though your main intent with providing the bonuses may be to build a relationship, not so much to be Mr. Nice Guy Marketer

It's in that way that I don't like to label marketing approaches, I just believe in smart marketers, and "dumb marketers".

Perhaps...

It may really just be "Good marketers" and "Bad marketers".

Good being the people who get the results they desire.

[Raydal]

Your personality does play a part in your success. I mean,
people buy from you if they like you. But after the dust settles
the real long-term determinant for your business is the VALUE
you offer your customers, whatever your personality--EXCEPT
you are selling your personality as in the entertainment industry.

-Ray Edwards

[johnbro]

For those who are satisfied with short term gain, they go for the 'over hyped' way.

But for those who are working towards building up relationships and reputations, being 'truthful' to a fair extent goes a long way towards this. But again, 'hype' to some extent is necessary, but in a smart way.

Days are not the same anymore, where now more and more people can spot 'over hyped' stuffs from a distance. Just like in the offline world, true color always shows up.

[Josef_Benjamin]

"Nice Guys" typically justify their trouble with growing their business or personal relationships with women with being "misunderstood" or being the "underdog".

The way I personally succeed in business is by being what I call "Alpha Male".

I don't like the term "bad boy".

Alpha Males (Females) actually give MORE in value than the typical nice guy...

How?

Confidence & Leadership.

If you develope these two traits, people will line up to buy whatever you want to sell to them (a kiss, a business idea, a strategy, etc).

These 2 traits in what you call "bad boy" is FAR more valuble then being "nice" to people.

People aren't looking for "nice guys" to show them how to build a business or perform in bed (just being honest)....they want CERTAINTY!

They want to know are YOU strong enough and believe in yourself enough to show them the way to financial success?

...And many alpha's carry those traits.

I'm not joking, people line up to get a piece of you (whatever the costs) if you ask for it...trouble is...most nice guy's DON'T ask for it - they dance around it - hoping people will SEE the value in what they offer.

Alpha's (or bad boys) make it OBVIOUS what they want from people and what they have to offer - with no shame or applogies.

[JasonParker]

Getting people excited about your product doesn't have to mean you exaggerate. And selling at higher price doesn't mean your products aren't worth that price. I generally care about people. I'm also an aggressive marketer. You don't have to be the nice guy or the bad boy. It's not all black and white like that. You just have to be you.

[Morgan Richman]

"...be yourself, no matter what they say... I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien..."

MorganRichman