Need advice about shopping carts and affiliate management systems

Okay, so here's the story/background.... (there are a couple questions on the end of this) I'm considering selling a physical product. The basic business plan is conventional retail sales ( in very tight niche) with a very basic single tier referral/commission program. The website is relatively easy. I purchased Diana's Abundance Wordpress Theme, last night, and it looks perfect for this effort. I may or may not outsource the graphics.... sort of depends on where the design takes me. The related SEO is no issue...

Issue 1) This project will require a shopping cart that can offer a specific item based on a pull down menu selection.... Here's an example. Suppose that I am selling staplers. The customer goes to my website decides to make a purchase, I present him/her with a list of staplers (by manufacturer and then by model) and after he/she selects the one they own.... the shopping cart selects/presents the right staples for purchase.

Question 1... is there a shopping cart that already does this? If not.... I'm looking for recommendations for someone (a programmer) to work with to have this done.

Issue 2) My Affiliates/Referrers are unlikely to be very web/ebiz sophisticated. I need an affiliate management system that supports physical products, will interface to the shopping cart described above and is very simple to use from the referrer perspective. (required features... basic reports, simple URLs, affiliate tools such as links, letters, emails, banners, etc..)

Last thought.... both the shopping cart and the affiliate system should interface to the same autoresponder (I currently use GetResponse).

Whoops.... another last thought.... I would not want to design OUT basic strategies such as up sells and OTOs.

I think I may be in one of those "Can't see the forest" situations..... I'm hoping one of you will say, "Chris... this is way simpler than you are making it..... do this!"