Are Internet Marketers social outcasts?

[visit_faraz]

Well, I ask this because i feel like one.
I am making my living online and have an income which allows me to lead a comfortable lifestyle
but there's the social aspect where I seem to be a kind of loser.

My family members, relatives and almost everyone I know, have an offline business or does a day job.
and when they hear about me, working at home,

they just shake their heads and say: "Now now, when are you going to grow up. get a real job. go outside meet people. Men should go and work outside while the ladies should stay at home"

and this just makes me feel a little inferior, as If there is something wrong with me.
and with this kind of mindset, I feel even more uncomfortable when someone asks me about my profession.
And since I am lacking a bit in my self esteem, I am sort of getting pushed around by these people who start giving me advice and telling me what kind of job I should be doing and how I should be leading my life.

Now, I have to tell you that I have always been an introvert and never liked to talk too much.
and this internet marketing has almost been god sent to me and I consider myself lucky to have the lifestyle which I dreamed about(well I am almost there)

Its just the social aspect that is killing me.
So, maybe my questions is - do you guys also have to face a similar situation?
what do you do about it?

regards.
faraz

[hiphil]

Surely it is other people's negative attitude that is the problem - not yours.

It is probably because they are jealous of your life style.

[aussietimbo]

Hey Faraz,

Mate first things first, internet marketing is a profession, it pays doesn’t it? If you’re happy doing this profession that’s great and people should support and realize that’s your calling in life even if they don’t agree with it.

In away internet marketing can be a very unsocial environment, but networking and building relationships with fellow internet marketers is a great way to combat it.

Don’t let the beliefs and thoughts of others, about online business get to you. I hear it all the time, but you know… I want this lifestyle and that’s the most important thing I feel.

Sometimes you wonder if the people doubting and taunting the online business lifestyle are jealous that they don’t have the life of freedom, no boss and no rules… it’s all on your clock not somebody else’s. This is the main reason I starting internet marketing and this is why I keep pushing and pushing to stay afloat.

Just don’t let anyone judge you and don’t let their judgments get to your head, other wise it’ll affect your work and your business.

Hope this helps.

Cheers,
Tim

[whateverpedia]

Originally Posted by hiphil

Surely it is other people's negative attitude that is the problem - not yours.

It is probably because they are jealous of your life style.

Exactly.

The next time they say anything ask them "Do you enjoy your job(s)?

If this doesn't put them in their place, just say "@#$% you".

If they can't accept you for what you are, and what you do, then move on and leave them behind.

Have a guess who they will come to for help/advice when they get retrenched/downsized etc. You of course.

[sbucciarel]

There are plenty of good comebacks to people like that. You just need the confidence to face and tell them:

I pay the bills with my online income
I make my own hours
I am my own boss
I take off when I want
I don't have to hop in a car and commute every day
I don't have to eat sh*t from some employer to keep my job

There's lot of others. Tell them.

[diamondseeker]

First, do not worry what other people think. What does it matter?
Second as an Internet Marketer you should have a business plan as
well as a personal plan. Beleive it or not your personal plan is as important
as your business plan. The things that you want to do and desire in life
should drive your business plan.

When you start using your earned income to do the things you want and
to get the things you desire attitudes about what you are doing will change
from "get a real job" to "please show me how"

Social problem solved.

[grumpyjacksa]

point no 1:

you can't impress the uninformed.

point no 2:

you run an internet BUSINESS

point no 3:

what you do is beyond the comprehension of many others.

point no 4:

we also had a local guy whose grandmother was on his case because he "did not have a regular job"

his name is Ernie Els..

you may have heard his name.

it has been mentioned regularly along with that of tiger Woods.

Final point:

YOU DO NOT NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO ANYONE.

period.

[Scott Logan]

Sounds like your life is good to me

If people don't get it...don't waste your time
I tend to keep the peace in my family and life, let them think they are right and you do what's right for you

If you really feel the need to explain yourself, you now have plenty of comebacks/advice from others above

If you still feel the pressure, go out and get a cheap office and head to work each day.

Although...turn that into a positive. Find some office space that you can ride your bike to

Which in turn may get your creative juices spinning and perhaps will in turn make you more productive.

Then you can turn to your family and friends and tell them "thanks, I took your advice and got myself a really job at an office and I am now happier then ever"

while you have a large grin on the inside

- Scott Logan
Night Owl Marketing

Wishing You Whole Life Success!

[Debbie_L]

I think the nature of IM can draw people that are intellectual versus social. Is the problem that other people don't understand, or you wish you were more social?

Other people will never understand. I like to take classes at the local college, just to get out, be social and meet people outside my normal 'group', and learn some new stuff.

Or post in this forum and we can chat .

-Debbie

[George Wright]

Hi,

It sounds like you may feel like you need to get up and go.

As Scott said you could get a cheap office.

However a laptop with a WIFI connection and a portable power source would set you up in business wherever you go. I "work" at two different libraries in bustling downtown areas, Starbucks and any number of other hot spots.

Tammy, my daughter just bought a netbook with the carriers own dial in high speed Internet built in, G3 network and WIFI. In theory she is never out of Internet Touch. I can't wait till she gets tired of it so I can "Borrow" it.

I know another IMer who works at the airport. The WIFI is free the Coffee is cheap and the surrounding people come from all over the world. Nice atmosphere for him.

Just one more thing about the Air Port. I've seen people "Working" there for years.

The first time I noticed it was about 5 or 6 years ago. I was setting in a waiting area waiting for my daughter to come in from NY. A lady setting at a table near me drinking a cup of something answered her cell phone, "International, Mary speaking, may I help you." At that time the idea blew me away. Now I see it's common.

There is a lot of free office space out there where you can "get up and go to work," if that is what you want to do.

George Wright

[JohnMcCabe]

Part of the problem may be in how you describe what you do. Tell the average person you are an "Internet Marketer", and the first question that pops to mind is how you can be selling Internets, and how much can you make on each Internet you sell when people can use the public library's Internet for free.

[Tongue only slightly in cheek...]

"Internet Marketing" is one of those jargon words that means something to those on the inside. We know you mean 'market products and/or services using the Internet', but outsiders don't.

Most of the time, I can get by simply telling people I run my own company or that I work for myself. The fact that my "corner office" is the third bedroom in my house is none of their business.

Another question is where you work. If you say you work at home, most people picture the neighborhood Tupperware lady, or the guy that picks up extra bucks doing odd jobs. If you say you work from home, or that you keep your office at home for convenience, it just means something different. People know lots of others that work from home, from the plumber to the old country doctor on TV. To make that one fly, you do have to occasionally leave the nest, though.

To answer your original subject line, though, I don't think Internet Marketers are social outcasts. "Hermit" is probably closer in many cases.

[visit_faraz]

Originally Posted by Scottie_Logan

Sounds like your life is good to me

If people don't get it...don't waste your time
I tend to keep the peace in my family and life, let them think they are right and you do what's right for you

If you really feel the need to explain yourself, you now have plenty of comebacks/advice from others above

If you still feel the pressure, go out and get a cheap office and head to work each day.

Although...turn that into a positive. Find some office space that you can ride your bike to

Which in turn may get your creative juices spinning and perhaps will in turn make you more productive.

Then you can turn to your family and friends and tell them "thanks, I took your advice and got myself a really job at an office and I am now happier then ever"

while you have a large grin on the inside

- Scott Logan
Night Owl Marketing

Wishing You Whole Life Success!

hehe. that's a good one. nice way to fool them. I could maybe even lie that I am now doing a job and feeling miserable. I wont tell them I am happier than ever, because they will feel something is wrong.
I will say that I am feeling miserable doing a job, but I will soon get used to it.
Maybe that will keep their mouth shut.

Originally Posted by Debbie_L

I think the nature of IM can draw people that are intellectual versus social. Is the problem that other people don't understand, or you wish you were more social?

Other people will never understand. I like to take classes at the local college, just to get out, be social and meet people outside my normal 'group', and learn some new stuff.

Or post in this forum and we can chat .

-Debbie

My problem is not that other people dont understand.
My problem is that they just dont shut up. They have to give their advice and I even have to take it.
And a bigger problem is that since everyone around me says things like that, I am starting to feel that there is
something wrong with me.
Actually I have sort of always felt this- since I dont like to spend my time gossiping and chatting
I hate small talk and rarely talk on the phone.
So, I just cant relate to people who just want to talk endlessly and then even advise me that I should talk more.
and meet more people.
even if I dont want to meet people especially when they make me feel weird and negative.
I could just meditate instead.

[dndoseller]

Stop looking for approval and just say "Im a computer guy" or "Im in IT". Its all about framing.

When people ask who you work for answer is - I work for myself and I have many clients.

I am in fact a contractor for Google as one of my clients- I say that all the time.99 percent of people offline have no idea what Adsense is.

[Jonathan 2.0]

Personally, being a "social outcast" is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Seriously. I've accomplished a lot because of spending time on my own. Including founding an Information Publishing Company.

That's what I say when people ask me what I do, by the way. "I run an Information Publishing Company" sounds better than "I'm an Internet Marketer." You can experiment with "I'm an Entrepreneur." And "... Because that's what makes me happy." (No one can argue with that.)

Albert Einstein said: "I lived in solitude in the country and noticed a quiet life stimulates the creative mind." And Voltaire followed up with: "The happiest of all lives is a busy solitude." Just imagine all of the amazing things have happened because of people spending time in solitude. Pilgrims Progress for one.

So it's not the fact that you spend a lot of time on your own that's a problem - it's your reaction to people, socially. On my wall I have the quotation: "What's the opportunity that this is?" And - while it's important for you to decide for yourself what the opportunity is - I'm going to speed up the process for you:

"The opportunity is to develop more self-esteem/self-confidence socially ... To learn how to 'stand up for yourself' and what you do ... And ... To stop caring so much about what other people think of you, while improving your social skills and making new friends and acqantances."

(You can change it anyway you want.)

That's your mission, should you choose to accept it. (Hehe.) On a more serious note, feel free to PM me any time you want and I'll do my best to help you, even if it's book recommendations and further advice.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend, Visit Faranz.

[yourreviewer]

In the words of the great Earl Nightingale, The opposite of bravery is not cowardice, it is conformity. More than 95% of the world's population don't even know why they are doing, what they are doing. So don't worry much.

[Randy J]

I know how you feel...all of my peers and family all act the same...no one understands
what us internet marketers are doing...

Some think I'm chasing get rich quick stuff, others think your following some kind of pipe dream...

I have one brother that is a web master that understands that there is money to be made, but won't take a stab at it cause of this wife...Ha Ha

For me I never let anyone get me down at what I'm doing with my online business...

There the one's that have to wake up everyday and drive through traffic to go to a dead end job that they hate...who are the dummies...

[M Thompson]

I usually find it the opposite, people love to know what I do. I can spend hours pontificating on the joys of IM

[Robyn8243]

I understand how you feel.

On some level, I think most people want to feel that they fit in, and belong...especially when it comes to family and 'friends.' It may not be politically correct to admit it, but human beings generally want/seek approval from their peers.

That said, the simplistic reality is that most people fit into one of two categories:

Employees and Self Employed/Business Owners

My guess is that you cannot imagine having to work for a boss, and be an employee...so you should not be surprised that all of those around you that have an employee mindset cannot relate to your choices.

The difference is that most self-employed people do not go around trying to impose their views on others (unless they are newly involved in network marketing...but that discussion is alive and kicking in other threads).

Your family and friends probably think they are helping you. Its frustrating and condescending, but it will be easier and far less frustrating to try to change your own attitudes than to try to get them to change theirs.

Don't take it personally. Try to forge friendships with other business people...you can't change your family, and I am not suggesting that you need to chuck your friends (although true friends should not be giving you grief and making you feel badly about your choices of how you earn money) but if you have some friends who are more in tune with what you are doing, it will be easier to let the comments of others not affect your attitude.

Robyn

[MichaelAppleton]

You are making a success of your life, you doing what you want, I am guessing your a grown man and should be able to do what you want.

As for the social aspect, why not try and meet fellow marketers at seminars? or workshops? Great why to socialize and meet like minded people.

[Cryp]

Hey faraz, I bet every second guy on the warrior forum is an undercover pua!
Just feel comfortable in what you are doing, when someone asks you what you do say it with a big grin on your face

[Raiel Schwartz]

I'm sorry, I skipped almost all of the replies here...

What does owning an internet business have to do with having a social life???

Sure, when you are actually "working" for the most part it will be solitary, BUT that's no excuse for not having a life outside of your business.

As you said, you are naturally introvert, so you probably feel more comfortable at home rather then forcing yourself to go outside and be social.

But that's not internet marketing's fault, that's your own inner-demons.

Just keeping it real

You can have a social life while earning money online. In fact, I think an online marketer would have a better chance of being more social then a 9-5'er, why? Because the passive income frees up time for you to do what you want to do best.

[Alexa Smith]

I don't believe a word of it, myself.

I was a social outcast long before I became an internet marketer.

[SuzanneR]

Here's another way to look at it: you're ahead of your time. While all these sorry schmoes are polluting the air and getting stuck in traffic--not to mention getting into petty office politics...you're your own man. Stress free, conserving energy--and you have the potential to earn WAAAAYYYYY more than them.

So who cares?

P.S. I'm an introvert too. What that means is that I only have social energy for people who matter to me. otherwise pfffttttt.

If you feel a bit isolated...use that money to cultivate interests and meet people with whom you have something in common. As for working alone, unhindered....pure bliss! :-)

[vagabondette]

I feel you. I'm the black sheep of my family and they have zero concept of the way I live my life. I'm one of the only ones who doesn't live within a couple hour drive of where they were born. I'm not married, I don't have kids, I haven't owned a car since 2001, I don't work for someone else and now *gasp* I live in a 3rd world dump (their take, not mine - for some reason they didn't worry when I lived in Switzerland but Mexico totally freaks them out).

My mom used to brag about my jobs (I've had some pretty high-profile jobs in the past) but now she has no idea how to even describe what I do so she just says 'something on the internet'.

I used to try and explain. Now I just tell people I develop websites and leave it at that. When people start asking annoying questions I just say "I prefer not to talk about work". When my family starts asking annoying questions I just say "when your opinion on the topic becomes important to me, I'll let you know." They've stopped asking/commenting (for the most part).

Just stand up for yourself. Come up with a couple one-liners and just say them. It can feel rude at first but really, they're the ones being rude. You'll get used to it and people will start leaving you alone.

You say you're an introvert and there's not a thing wrong with that. However, if you do at some point want to meet people who have a similar mindset career-wise you might look into joining a meetup group for marketers. Many meet just once a month so it would give you a chance to interact with people doing similar work and get that support without having to be overly social. But if not, it's really no big deal. Some people prefer to spend time alone than with others.

Good luck!

[gdqws]

I know what you mean. I am constantly being told that I'm lazy and I need to go and get a "real" job.

[Rod Cortez]

Originally Posted by visit_faraz

Well, I ask this because i feel like one.
I am making my living online and have an income which allows me to lead a comfortable lifestyle but there's the social aspect where I seem to be a kind of loser.

My family members, relatives and almost everyone I know, have an offline business or does a day job. and when they hear about me, working at home, they just shake their heads and say: "Now now, when are you going to grow up. get a real job. go outside meet people. Men should go and work outside while the ladies should stay at home" and this just makes me feel a little inferior, as If there is something wrong with me. and with this kind of mindset, I feel even more uncomfortable when someone asks me about my profession.

And since I am lacking a bit in my self esteem, I am sort of getting pushed around by these people who start giving me advice and telling me what kind of job I should be doing and how I should be leading my life.

Now, I have to tell you that I have always been an introvert and never liked to talk too much. and this internet marketing has almost been god sent to me and I consider myself lucky to have the lifestyle which I dreamed about(well I am almost there) Its just the social aspect that is killing me. So, maybe my questions is - do you guys also have to face a similar situation? what do you do about it?

regards.
faraz

Faraz, I used to face this all the time and while I still deal with it from time to time, I've now surrounded myself with people who "get it!" But I'm here to advise you that there are very specific strategies on how to deal with this:

First, realize in your heart and mind that most people are trained to be employees, not employers; forget about business owners. Most people have been brainwashed to go to school and get a good job. Get married, have kids, blah, blah, blah.......all these things are not for everyone. I've come to realize that most people do not challenge their own beliefs. Like, why do we believe what we believe?

But I digress......

Warriors who have been here for a few years know that I'm a part-time dating and transformation coach, which means I deal with men and women from all walks of life. The vast majority of them are introverts. You'd be amazed at how many wealthy people are introverted. They are great at making money, but lack certain social skills.....and that's where I come in.

What's great about internet marketing is also one of it's weaknesses. Some people tend to get into a "comfort zone" and end up socializing via the internet and hardly leave the house. Trust me, I did that at one time. I ballooned up to 200 pounds (I'm 5 feet 8 inches tall so it wasn't a pretty sight) and had my family yelling at me to get a "real job", even though I was out-earning all of them.

The friends and family (not my true friends btw) thought I was into "shady" stuff like porn (I wasn't).

Many, many years ago I was VERY introverted. I was so shy that I had a tough time making eye contact or talking to strangers. Then one day I read a book called UNLIMITED POWER by Anthony Robbins. The book inspired me to attend one of his seminars. I saved up enough money so I could have dinner with him and his now ex-wife. That dinner blew my mind and created a massive paradigm shift in the way I viewed the world.

That was more than a decade ago. A lot of trials and tribulations later and personal growth I've learned that you must take 100% responsibility for your own life. In other words, I believe that people CHOOSE to be social outcasts. You don't have to be and you don't have to take it from the family and friends who don't understand. Don't get me wrong, I'm very polite and cordial with my friends and family who do NOT "get it", but I do spend less time with them.

I spent a couple of years focusing on my social skills. I joined Toastmasters and learned to master the art of pubic speaking. I joined the pick up community and learned how to be more social with both men and women. My "old" friends cannot believe the changes I underwent. They cannot believe I'm the same person. That shy kid who used to stand against the wall with a drink in his hand is now mixing it up at parties and hosting social gatherings. But that's in my personality now.

Internet marketers are only social outcasts to people who don't get it. You can easily remedy this by hanging out with people who do get it. And to those that don't, you should learn about "frame control". He or she who controls the frame controls the reality. For example, when I am introduced to someone socially, like an actor or a doctor, and they ask me what I do for a living, I have about 20 pat answers that I give.

But let's just say that I respond with "I sell products online" and then the actor tries to dis me by saying "oh, so you're like porn king right?". I might respond with, "No, I don't sell porn, I sell products and services that people need. I might have the lifestyle of a porn star but I don't sell it." And I look them in the eye when I say it. You've got to have FUN with people when they try to make you feel like a loser because you work from home. Trust me, 99% of them don't understand what you do and they are ENVIOUS. Or they're simply ignorant. Don't let it get you down.

Your social network is all up to you. You can "feel" like a social outcast all you want because lets face it, the average person has an employee mindset. It's time to find "new friends". People who "get it". Trust me on this one, I've helped thousands of people around the world to climb out of their comfort zone and experience life the way they want to define it. So don't let them define you.

Lastly, "self esteem" is a b.s. pop-psychology made up word. You have far more POWER than you think. If you're not feeling good about yourself you can change all this in ONE day. There isn't enough room in this post do explain what I'm talking about. But go get the book (preferably the audio book) called THE POWER OF NOW by Eckart Tolle and listen to it a few times. Some of it is a little out there, but if you can train your mind to focus on the present, there is nothing you won't be able to achieve!

Good luck and if you need some advice, just use the PM feature.

Warmly,

Rod "I've-Got-The-Coffee-And-Merlot-Gene" Cortez

[Chris_Willow]

Screw non believers.
Internet Marketing is not about sitting in front of a computer all day long (which many people believe it is since it's 'internet')
It's about the lifestyle where you make your own hours and do whatever the hell you want without having to answer to a 'boss'.
Last time I checked being a business owner is awesome.

Chris

[TheGodfather]

Tell them that you sell Bibles and offer to sell them one, they'll leave you at peace

[Ross Vegas]

Get an office and a virtual employee.

When I mention I have a full time virtual assistant people are amazed and interested.

I also find myself setting better boundaries between family time and work if I keep most of my work at the office.

[Sour]

Your family sounds very old fashioned and closed minded. I'd just ignore them. Be happy knowing that you have a much better job than most of them (if not all). We're not living decades ago, where most men worked in a factory, while the women kept care of the house.

And to go against the grain, I have a very active social life. Mostly because I DO work online and I get to set my own hours. If I want to have lunch with a friend during the weekday, I can. If I also want to go out that same night, I can. All because I can make up for lost hours any time I want.

[flobaby]

Just want you to know that I sometimes (ok, often) feel guilty for choosing to spend more time with my computer than people. When put in social situations, I'm great, very open, but I'd MUCH rather be doing my thang alone.

Now, I have a friend that I wanted to punch this week. She's one of those people that go out all.the.time. Always at restaurants, bars and events and for the upteenth time, she made me feel like crap with one sentence, "We've gotta get you out of your apartment!" But when it comes down to it, her friendships are superficial (as is my relationship with her) and if going out to eat is a more meaningful alternative than creating something out of nothing and being fully self-employed...that makes her an idiot. But I'm a bigger idiot for letting it get to me.

So, all this to say, you're doing something of value, of worth, that many would give their eyeteeth to be able to accomplish: working for yourself. So try to stay strong and don't let the naysayers make you feel any less about yourself.

Just make sure to bathe occasionally. :-)

[HomeBasedBusinessPLR]

I know what you mean to a point. It can be frustrating when someone asks "what do you do for a living?" and you have to go into explaining things. Because honestly if you don't know much about internet marketing it can be really confusing to people.

However, it seems to me that the people around you have the problem not the other way around. My husband and I work our home based business together. That means that we're able to be together more than any other husband and wife I know. When we have kids my husband will be able to be there all the time. He won't have to miss a single moment of our children's lives.

So the good far out weighs the bad.

And the part about "men should be making the money while the women stay home"... give me a break. You do what works best for your and your family, period end of story. Everyone is different.

[liban]

"Part of the problem may be in how you describe what you do." I identify with this, and need to come up with a better way.

This past week I was at a friend's when her client came over - he and his wife have a bunch of kids, and I asked if the wife stayed at home. She told me that she does, and "so does he. He manages the family's money." Certainly didn't leave me thinking he was lazy or needed to grow up!

That's the kind of line I'm looking for.

[nettech]

Faraz,

I know what you're going through with regards to people on your back. Bottom line is that people are scared to embrace new technology. You have a gift my brother and are exceptional at what you do. If you can live a good life then you are tehcnically 'made'. Its a bti of jealousy as well as lack of understanding. I can tell from your name that you come from a traditional asian family and its hard to change old school mindsets where being a doctor, accountant or lawyer is the only way to go.

Ask yourself or in fact ask your friends or family this?

- Do they enjoy their job?
- Did they enjoy their commute into work and home from work today?
- Do they think they get paid enough?
- Did they miss relaxing at home?
- Do they enjoy spending timje awy from their family and friends?

Now the point IM trying to make is that you are in a wonderful situation, you can take time off whenever you want, and can pretty much take control of your life. Becuase you're not surrounded by the usual office people it doesn't make you different, it makes you far more powerful than that. You will obviously find it difficult, how about joining like the local gyms, getting involved with family a litte more? How much time do you spend on your business?

Good luck
Zaheer

[Slin]

A lot of great responses here. I used to study social dynamics, and I can tell you right now, this is probably the best job to brag about.

When people say, "what do you do for a living?"

I say

(OK this isn't completely true but close enough) "I run my own online marketing business"

"really what do you do for that?"

You "well you know when people have a problem, issue, or when they need something? I lead them to the answer." Or you can say "I advertise other peoples products for a set of commission, pretty much I take other peoples products and get them to the people who need them"

Real job?! THIS IS AS REAL AS IT GETS!

If they ask me about income I just smile and say I don't like to talk about it, if they press I say that the job is well worth it.

(note: most of this is mainly because I am starting a huge campaign, so far I have seen 0 sales but I am only a few days into it)

Never feel bad about this job, or any job, do what YOU like.

I enjoy online marketing, I have some fascination with selling things and running businesses (heck I used to sell my sandwhiches and drinks for a large profit in middle school lunch)

Get paid what your worth.

[Sour]

Originally Posted by flobaby

But when it comes down to it, her friendships are superficial (as is my relationship with her) and if going out to eat is a more meaningful alternative than creating something out of nothing and being fully self-employed...that makes her an idiot. But I'm a bigger idiot for letting it get to me.

Not everyone has the same priorities as you, buddy. Just because she enjoys going out, while you enjoy staying home alone all day doesn't make her superficial or an idiot.

[flobaby]

Originally Posted by Sour

Not everyone has the same priorities as you, buddy. Just because she enjoys going out, while you enjoy staying home alone all day doesn't make her superficial or an idiot.

Jeez, there are other things beyond what I wrote, I didn't feel I needed to give an entire play by play of her life. Serious, meaningful conversation is not within her grasp, we are in a group of mutual friends and it's a common perception amongst the rest, so please, get over your angry self. Buddy.

Your Username suits you.

[Lady_T]

Originally Posted by visit_faraz

Well, I ask this because i feel like one.
I am making my living online and have an income which allows me to lead a comfortable lifestyle
but there's the social aspect where I seem to be a kind of loser.

My family members, relatives and almost everyone I know, have an offline business or does a day job.
and when they hear about me, working at home,

they just shake their heads and say: "Now now, when are you going to grow up. get a real job. go outside meet people. Men should go and work outside while the ladies should stay at home"

and this just makes me feel a little inferior, as If there is something wrong with me.
and with this kind of mindset, I feel even more uncomfortable when someone asks me about my profession.
And since I am lacking a bit in my self esteem, I am sort of getting pushed around by these people who start giving me advice and telling me what kind of job I should be doing and how I should be leading my life.

Now, I have to tell you that I have always been an introvert and never liked to talk too much.
and this internet marketing has almost been god sent to me and I consider myself lucky to have the lifestyle which I dreamed about(well I am almost there)

Its just the social aspect that is killing me.
So, maybe my questions is - do you guys also have to face a similar situation?
what do you do about it?

regards.
faraz

I get the exact same reaction from family
and friends.

I don't even talk about what I do to anyone.
They don't understand it and they think that
I'm being scammed in some way.

I just enjoy my income - do things with
my kids and when I meet someone who's
a small business owner - we have lunch...

They are always fascinated at the way
I earn a living and are genuinely interested...

[seriousmny]

Originally Posted by visit_faraz

Well, I ask this because i feel like one.
I am making my living online and have an income which allows me to lead a comfortable lifestyle
but there's the social aspect where I seem to be a kind of loser.

My family members, relatives and almost everyone I know, have an offline business or does a day job.
and when they hear about me, working at home,

they just shake their heads and say: "Now now, when are you going to grow up. get a real job. go outside meet people. Men should go and work outside while the ladies should stay at home"

and this just makes me feel a little inferior, as If there is something wrong with me.
and with this kind of mindset, I feel even more uncomfortable when someone asks me about my profession.
And since I am lacking a bit in my self esteem, I am sort of getting pushed around by these people who start giving me advice and telling me what kind of job I should be doing and how I should be leading my life.

Now, I have to tell you that I have always been an introvert and never liked to talk too much.
and this internet marketing has almost been god sent to me and I consider myself lucky to have the lifestyle which I dreamed about(well I am almost there)

Its just the social aspect that is killing me.
So, maybe my questions is - do you guys also have to face a similar situation?
what do you do about it?

regards.
faraz

My folks don't understand either. I work a 9-5 right now and work part-time on my web businesses but I'm closer to getting out of my 9-5 than ever before and looking forward to saying goodbye to my boss. My folks think I am crazy and laugh under their breath at me but I still move foreward. My father is big on education and going to a 4-year university and getting a degree. The only thing that he will be able to comprehend is huge paychecks and I don't think that flashing my bank account balance is even necessary, in fact, it's juvenile and I refuse to play that game.

I don't call my family for money and don't ask. They don't pay my bills and I feel fine about myself. Should they decide to come visit and see how i'm living, then I suspect that is when the questions will start. So how are you paying for this? Then that's my opportunity to share how I'm doing it. You don't owe anyone any explanations. You are a self-employed entrepreneur in sales. I think it's kind of immature to flash cash and bling around your folks to prove your worth. No one likes a show off. I keep it private, that way no one has the opportunity to accuse you of being a show off or visit you late at night to relieve you of said cash and bling.

Get out sometimes after work, get a hobby, go to IM conventions and local area business get togethers and start flocking with those who understand you, then you won't be so lonely. It's good to get to know others in your neck of the woods. You never know, you may develop lifelong friendships or business partnerships that way.

[myob]

I just mind my own business.

[mhartmann]

The hardest time to justify our efforts is when you're making just a few dollars a day; that's the situation I'm in right now. One work colleague commented on $40 of Clickbank profits, "how long did you spend making those sales?" It was about 2 weeks, and these sales were my first IM profits. He looked very dimissive, but I didn't care. Nor do I now. My family members don't really know yet, except for my step-father who knows I have something brewing and does believe in me.

I know it's all gonna happen. As for the social outcast thing, I was dodging a social life for music long before I dodged one for IM. However, the amount of time I would like to drown my consciousness in half-steps, modes and chord progressions is not available while working a full-time day job with rent and bills to pay at 20.
Right now, every waking minute at home, during my commute etc. is IM - music has taken a backseat. So the plan is to fund my true passion with IM.
The holidays and stuff would be nice, also. And more time with family.

[Jeannie Crabtree]

Faraz, I agree with much of what has been said here. You are not an outcast, you
just don't fit in their vision of how things should go.

It is hard to change the perceptions of others, but you can change your own perceptions. Work at building your self esteem and setting some boundaries.
I was quiet and shy, and have grown out of a lot of that over the years.

If you still live at home, you will have more pressure to do what your parents
and relatives think you should be doing. If you live on your own it is easier.

Do they have some real concerns about how much time you might be spending at the computer? If so, at the least, go for walks and get some exercise time in each day. It is good for health and stimulates your brain.

As far as getting out socially, being by oneself the majority of time can turn a shy introverted person more so. Set some time aside to get out. When I was young, I would go to gatherings and events and just not say much. Some people noticed that, but at least I was there. Over time, it got easier.

Once in a while unless there is a lot of negativity in general, invite some of your relatives and friends to go with you somewhere. It lets them see you have a life outside your business, and helps strenthen the bond within the family.

I have plans to invite a sister that gives me a lot of flack for "sitting on my butt in front of the computer instead of working" ( I am pretty well retired from 30 years of working for myself and others) on a drive up the coast to see some sights.

It lets her see I have a life outside the internet, it gets me out of the house and hopefully builds our relationship. Yep, I can set my own hours, isn't that nice?

Take care and don't let it get you down. Learn to dance in the rain, rather than
lament the rainstorm. You are you. Unique and special. Everyone of us are.

Jeannie

[jaybaker]

All this is very true. Sometimes people just need a shove in the right direction or a big "$&#$ You!" to let them know that you aren't going to take any of their BS. Do what makes you happy, and if it pays the bills great! You don't need to answer to anyone but yourself.

[jrmnlitt]

NEVER feel bad about what you have done. If you have built a income big enough that you don't have to work anymore then you should wake up every morning dancing for joy. Who cares what someone still running in the rat race thinks, especially if they think thats the way to go. just wave to them as they go of to work...

[Mr Money Maker]

Yes and No....great thing about the Internet is you can be a marketing Genius and make a great living where in the regular every day 9 to 5 job world you might fail in marketing because you don;t dress right, or people don;t like the way you talk or whatever....but online, no one can see you....and you can be whoever you want to be.....even create a new name and new image.....your the star !!

[mhartmann]

Originally Posted by Mr Money Maker

even create a new name and new image.....your the star !!

Are you saying your name is not Mr. Money Maker? Fraud!

[jgand]

If you work hard and are doing well, then there should not be any problem. Everyone should be proud of what they do. Online is competitive and you have to be good at what you do to survive. These are things to be proud of.

[itcoll]

that is because everybody likes to follow the protocols - get a degree,go out,get a job and work for a boss till you die.They will never understand whatever you say.

[Dennis-White]

I would day I am more social now, being that I work from home and make more money I want to go out more and meet more people! I love going out whenever I want to and not when ever I have money for it...

[viralgold]

I agree with many others here that you shouldn't feel inferior for what you do. On contrast you have the freedom and income that I would think many of these people are just plain jealous about.

There's a lot of ignorance 'out there' in the "real world", but you have lots of friends here, and you can offer to teach some of the people that don't think you have a real job. He-he, get even! Charge them coaching fees to learn how to make money like you do, and SMILE. You know-it makes people wonder what you're up to!

God bless, and hope you find the security that YOU deserve.