Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it?

Richard Odell · 11-05-2009, 01:35 PM

One more thing?

Fake testimonials are an essential part of any self respecting bad website. What with the clamp down with FTC, am I going to get myself into trouble if I include these?

What can I do to get around this. Suggestions of course should be in the best possible taste?

-Rich

amber1210 · 11-05-2009, 01:43 PM

Add a bunch of those "LOL Cat" pictures. They are really lame. I find them greatly annoying. You could also have a horrible song playing on the page like "William Hung: She Bangs" I'm sure you'd get some horrible attention just from mixing the Lol cats and this song... YouTube - William Hung - She Bangs

Richard Odell · 11-05-2009, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber1210

Add a bunch of those "LOL Cat" pictures. They are really lame. I find them greatly annoying. You could also have a horrible song playing on the page like "William Hung: She Bangs" I'm sure you'd get some horrible attention just from mixing the Lol cats and this song... YouTube - William Hung - She Bangs

I have a waving cat on my hard drive, someone even has it as an avatar on this forum, shame on them - you know who you are?

Sinful!

JackPowers · 11-05-2009, 02:07 PM

I've learned so much about marketing from reading this thread. The only problem is, with this much top notch info, where do I begin?

Charann Miller · 11-05-2009, 03:48 PM

Hmmmm, tough call with the testimonials.

I think if you were to stress that they were to be used for the purpose of highlighting "what not to do", or mistakes to avoid when promoting your online business, then you might be able to get around it. I'd be cautious though in terms of the FTC changes next month. Always best to cover yourself.

I know the ones you mean though, the "Hey marketing genius who changed my life. Until I found your system I never made a dollar online, then I had the good fortune of stumbling upon your system just before I was about to give up. I then applied your easy to follow system and was astonished to find that I had made $500 overnight while I was sleeping" - J. Simpkins, New Jersey.

Hey, don't use that! Hehehehe.

Looking forward to your Frankenstein monstrosity.

ramone_johnny · 11-05-2009, 05:10 PM

I think you should change that Javascript popup when exiting the page to say, click OK, to stay on this page, click CANCEL to stay on this page.

Really confuse 'em.

GrantFreeman · 11-05-2009, 05:39 PM

The photograph is to clean..

And the text was too easy to read with no misspellings.. just can't have that

Grant

Michael Stuart Kelly · 11-05-2009, 05:57 PM

Richard,

There are some fields missing:

PLEASE ENTER YOUR FULL NAME, PHONE NUMBER, ADDRESS, NATIONAL INSURANCE NUMBER OR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, AND CREDIT CARD INFORMATION (ALL CARDS PLEASE) IN THE APPROPRIATE FIELD SO YOU CAN BE INCLUDED IN OUR DATABASE!

Michael

Richard Odell · 11-06-2009, 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ramone_johnny

I think you should change that Javascript popup when exiting the page to say, click OK, to stay on this page, click CANCEL to stay on this page.

Really confuse 'em.

Thats wicked - I like that one.

Richard Odell · 11-06-2009, 07:14 PM

Its evolving, its revolting, its has it life of its own - it is alive!

Where will it all end?

Lightning is filling the sky above, the laboratory is charged with energy, the monster has escaped, where it all end?

I see the villagers lighting torches and sharpening pitch forks, what am I to do?

PLEASE NOTE: If you have a history of epilepsy, please, for gods sake do not visit this site. On a lighter note if you have any taste at all, do like-wise

-Rich

I seriously need help!

GrantFreeman · 11-06-2009, 07:24 PM

Richard,

Send me your address so I can forward my optometrist bill to you, and the recipes for my new cane & seeing eye dog.

Nice touch!

Richard Odell · 11-06-2009, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrantFreeman

Richard,

Send me your address so I can forward my optometrist bill to you, and the recipes for my new cane & seeing eye dog.

Nice touch!

This is only beginning, the madness has finally overtaken, dogs actually flee from this address (URL).

I have new <body> parts arriving on the next peasant cart in the morning, I fear the grave robbing has only just begun!

If you have covers please hide under them!

On a lighter note.. curiosity is killing the cat (its parts will also be included) the unique visitor count is up to 332, by the wonders statcounter (Dam! I wish they had an affiliate program!).

-Rich

PS: I must get this lab coat in the wash, surgery takes its toll you know - Mo-hahahahahahahahaha!

Nick H · 11-06-2009, 07:50 PM

In your copy you need to include some nice tidbits like:

"It's so easy even a friggin' LOSER can make money using my CPA system!!! Why even my DEAD HORSE can make money using my super secret methods!!!"

"I remember the first day I realized that I could make money online. I mixing some mortar for a fence I was building when it hit me like a ton of bricks! PEOPLE WANT TO BUY STUFF THEY LIKE!!! I CAN SELL IT TO THEM!!!"

"Just look at my ClickBak accounts! None of them Are fekd!!! They are all reel!"

"I can't hold my seecrets in any longer! I have to share them with you because I promised my Mother on her deathbed I would tell everyone on the Web how they too can make $20,993.14 working from part-time from home in their underwear!!!"

"Don't even let it cross your mind FOR A SECOND that I would want to keep my money making secrets to myself so there is LESS competition and MORE money for me. I am giving back to the community I love so dearly! I want YOU to succeed!!! AND DON'T EVER FORGET THAT!"

Richard Odell · 11-06-2009, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick H

In your copy you need to include some nice tidbits like:

"It's so easy even a friggin' LOSER can make money using my CPA system!!! Why even my DEAD HORSE can make money using my super secret methods!!!"

"I remember the first day I realized that I could make money online. I mixing some mortar for a fence I was building when it hit me like a ton of bricks! PEOPLE WANT TO BUY STUFF THEY LIKE!!! I CAN SELL IT TO THEM!!!"

"Just look at my ClickBak accounts! None of them Are fekd!!! They are all reel!"

"I can't hold my seecrets in any longer! I have to share them with you because I promised my Mother on her deathbed I would tell everyone on the Web how they too can make $20,993.14 working from part-time from home in their underwear!!!"

"Don't even let it cross your mind FOR A SECOND that I would want to keep my money making secrets to myself so there is LESS competition and MORE money for me. I am giving back to the community I love so dearly! I want YOU to succeed!!! AND DON'T EVER FORGET THAT!"

Excellent!

Egor the scalpel!

I feel some editing coming on...

-Rich

tchashow · 11-08-2009, 10:32 PM

Check out this website: Buy My Stupid Ebook, Overly SEO d Title, Keywords Crammed like Make Money Online Make Money Online Make Money Online

tchashow · 11-08-2009, 10:34 PM

This was an excerpt taken from an actual sales letter:

"Anyone (and I really mean anyone) can grab a 10... but not many can keep her interest in the bed. The next day, she'll laugh down the phone to her friends... then, you'll be "cast out" of the camp like the diseased leper we both know you really are... and then (to top it all off)... she'll be out looking to get her "relief" from someone who actually knows what they are doing. Someone like me."

ROFLMFAO!

Branlan17 · 11-08-2009, 11:13 PM

Be sure and add "Did I mention it's proven and a system? That's right, A PROVEN SYSTEM, basically, it's a system that's proven!!!11!11!"

amber1210 · 11-09-2009, 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Richard Odell

I have a waving cat on my hard drive, someone even has it as an avatar on this forum, shame on them - you know who you are?

Sinful!

-------------------------------

Lol Nice. At least its not a wierd "LOL Cat" Picture. Though, I don't think I'd use it as an avatar. It'd be great for little 7 year old girls.

11-05-2009, 01:35 PM	#101
Richard Odell Kiss My Shiny Metal A.. War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 1,129 Thanks: 295 Thanked 161 Times in 128 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? One more thing? Fake testimonials are an essential part of any self respecting bad website. What with the clamp down with FTC, am I going to get myself into trouble if I include these? What can I do to get around this. Suggestions of course should be in the best possible taste? -Rich

11-05-2009, 01:43 PM	#102
amber1210 Active Warrior Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Missouri Posts: 44 Thanks: 4 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? Add a bunch of those "LOL Cat" pictures. They are really lame. I find them greatly annoying. You could also have a horrible song playing on the page like "William Hung: She Bangs" I'm sure you'd get some horrible attention just from mixing the Lol cats and this song... YouTube - William Hung - She Bangs

11-05-2009, 02:07 PM	#104
JackPowers HyperActive Warrior Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 159 Thanks: 26 Thanked 13 Times in 12 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? I've learned so much about marketing from reading this thread. The only problem is, with this much top notch info, where do I begin?

11-05-2009, 03:48 PM	#105
Charann Miller Advanced Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 518 Thanks: 54 Thanked 30 Times in 28 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? Hmmmm, tough call with the testimonials. I think if you were to stress that they were to be used for the purpose of highlighting "what not to do", or mistakes to avoid when promoting your online business, then you might be able to get around it. I'd be cautious though in terms of the FTC changes next month. Always best to cover yourself. I know the ones you mean though, the "Hey marketing genius who changed my life. Until I found your system I never made a dollar online, then I had the good fortune of stumbling upon your system just before I was about to give up. I then applied your easy to follow system and was astonished to find that I had made $500 overnight while I was sleeping" - J. Simpkins, New Jersey. Hey, don't use that! Hehehehe. Looking forward to your Frankenstein monstrosity.
	"I Need A New Signature".

11-05-2009, 05:10 PM	#106
ramone_johnny No excuses - Just do it War Room Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Bris Vegas Posts: 489 Thanks: 50 Thanked 79 Times in 61 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? I think you should change that Javascript popup when exiting the page to say, click OK, to stay on this page, click CANCEL to stay on this page. Really confuse 'em.
	Join my facebook group opposing Google's Sidewiki

11-05-2009, 05:39 PM	#107
GrantFreeman Freeman Creations War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Somewhere next to a desert cactus, USA. Posts: 980 Blog Entries: 4 Thanks: 166 Thanked 41 Times in 25 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? The photograph is to clean.. And the text was too easy to read with no misspellings.. just can't have that Grant
	6 Tips To Create Awesome Ecovers That Sell.. Small business web design \| Sell Faster With Pre-Written Minisites!

11-05-2009, 05:57 PM	#108
Michael Stuart Kelly HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Evanston, IL, USA. Posts: 137 Thanks: 34 Thanked 70 Times in 15 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? Richard, There are some fields missing: PLEASE ENTER YOUR FULL NAME, PHONE NUMBER, ADDRESS, NATIONAL INSURANCE NUMBER OR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, AND CREDIT CARD INFORMATION (ALL CARDS PLEASE) IN THE APPROPRIATE FIELD SO YOU CAN BE INCLUDED IN OUR DATABASE! Michael
	Know thyself...

11-06-2009, 07:14 PM	#110
Richard Odell Kiss My Shiny Metal A.. War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 1,129 Thanks: 295 Thanked 161 Times in 128 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? Its evolving, its revolting, its has it life of its own - it is alive! Where will it all end? Lightning is filling the sky above, the laboratory is charged with energy, the monster has escaped, where it all end? I see the villagers lighting torches and sharpening pitch forks, what am I to do? PLEASE NOTE: If you have a history of epilepsy, please, for gods sake do not visit this site. On a lighter note if you have any taste at all, do like-wise -Rich I seriously need help!

11-06-2009, 07:24 PM	#111
GrantFreeman Freeman Creations War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Somewhere next to a desert cactus, USA. Posts: 980 Blog Entries: 4 Thanks: 166 Thanked 41 Times in 25 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? Richard, Send me your address so I can forward my optometrist bill to you, and the recipes for my new cane & seeing eye dog. Nice touch!
	6 Tips To Create Awesome Ecovers That Sell.. Small business web design \| Sell Faster With Pre-Written Minisites!

11-06-2009, 07:50 PM	#113
Nick H How can I help? War Room Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Oregon Posts: 136 Thanks: 29 Thanked 48 Times in 17 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? In your copy you need to include some nice tidbits like: "It's so easy even a friggin' LOSER can make money using my CPA system!!! Why even my DEAD HORSE can make money using my super secret methods!!!" "I remember the first day I realized that I could make money online. I mixing some mortar for a fence I was building when it hit me like a ton of bricks! PEOPLE WANT TO BUY STUFF THEY LIKE!!! I CAN SELL IT TO THEM!!!" "Just look at my ClickBak accounts! None of them Are fekd!!! They are all reel!" "I can't hold my seecrets in any longer! I have to share them with you because I promised my Mother on her deathbed I would tell everyone on the Web how they too can make $20,993.14 working from part-time from home in their underwear!!!" "Don't even let it cross your mind FOR A SECOND that I would want to keep my money making secrets to myself so there is LESS competition and MORE money for me. I am giving back to the community I love so dearly! I want YOU to succeed!!! AND DON'T EVER FORGET THAT!"
	"Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT... mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe" - Miracle Max

11-08-2009, 10:32 PM	#115
tchashow Newbie Affiliate Marketer Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: southern U.S.A. Posts: 94 Thanks: 13 Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? Check out this website: Buy My Stupid Ebook, Overly SEO d Title, Keywords Crammed like Make Money Online Make Money Online Make Money Online

11-08-2009, 10:34 PM	#116
tchashow Newbie Affiliate Marketer Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: southern U.S.A. Posts: 94 Thanks: 13 Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? This was an excerpt taken from an actual sales letter: "Anyone (and I really mean anyone) can grab a 10... but not many can keep her interest in the bed. The next day, she'll laugh down the phone to her friends... then, you'll be "cast out" of the camp like the diseased leper we both know you really are... and then (to top it all off)... she'll be out looking to get her "relief" from someone who actually knows what they are doing. Someone like me." ROFLMFAO!

11-08-2009, 11:13 PM	#117
Branlan17 HyperActive Warrior Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 202 Thanks: 38 Thanked 11 Times in 5 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? Be sure and add "Did I mention it's proven and a system? That's right, A PROVEN SYSTEM, basically, it's a system that's proven!!!11!11!"
	Everyone keeps telling me they wish they had started IM at my age... I'd be an idiot not to take that as my cue to LEARN LEARN LEARN! ; )