Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it?

Richard Odell · 11-05-2009, 01:35 PM

One more thing?

Fake testimonials are an essential part of any self respecting bad website. What with the clamp down with FTC, am I going to get myself into trouble if I include these?

What can I do to get around this. Suggestions of course should be in the best possible taste?

-Rich

amber1210 · 11-05-2009, 01:43 PM

Add a bunch of those "LOL Cat" pictures. They are really lame. I find them greatly annoying. You could also have a horrible song playing on the page like "William Hung: She Bangs" I'm sure you'd get some horrible attention just from mixing the Lol cats and this song... YouTube - William Hung - She Bangs

Richard Odell · 11-05-2009, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber1210

Add a bunch of those "LOL Cat" pictures. They are really lame. I find them greatly annoying. You could also have a horrible song playing on the page like "William Hung: She Bangs" I'm sure you'd get some horrible attention just from mixing the Lol cats and this song... YouTube - William Hung - She Bangs

I have a waving cat on my hard drive, someone even has it as an avatar on this forum, shame on them - you know who you are?

Sinful!

JackPowers · 11-05-2009, 02:07 PM

I've learned so much about marketing from reading this thread. The only problem is, with this much top notch info, where do I begin?

Charann Miller · 11-05-2009, 03:48 PM

Hmmmm, tough call with the testimonials.

I think if you were to stress that they were to be used for the purpose of highlighting "what not to do", or mistakes to avoid when promoting your online business, then you might be able to get around it. I'd be cautious though in terms of the FTC changes next month. Always best to cover yourself.

I know the ones you mean though, the "Hey marketing genius who changed my life. Until I found your system I never made a dollar online, then I had the good fortune of stumbling upon your system just before I was about to give up. I then applied your easy to follow system and was astonished to find that I had made $500 overnight while I was sleeping" - J. Simpkins, New Jersey.

Hey, don't use that! Hehehehe.

Looking forward to your Frankenstein monstrosity.

ramone_johnny · 11-05-2009, 05:10 PM

I think you should change that Javascript popup when exiting the page to say, click OK, to stay on this page, click CANCEL to stay on this page.

Really confuse 'em.

GrantFreeman · 11-05-2009, 05:39 PM

The photograph is to clean..

And the text was too easy to read with no misspellings.. just can't have that

Grant

Michael Stuart Kelly · 11-05-2009, 05:57 PM

Richard,

There are some fields missing:

PLEASE ENTER YOUR FULL NAME, PHONE NUMBER, ADDRESS, NATIONAL INSURANCE NUMBER OR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, AND CREDIT CARD INFORMATION (ALL CARDS PLEASE) IN THE APPROPRIATE FIELD SO YOU CAN BE INCLUDED IN OUR DATABASE!

Michael

Richard Odell · 11-06-2009, 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ramone_johnny

I think you should change that Javascript popup when exiting the page to say, click OK, to stay on this page, click CANCEL to stay on this page.

Really confuse 'em.

Thats wicked - I like that one.

Richard Odell · 11-06-2009, 07:14 PM

Its evolving, its revolting, its has it life of its own - it is alive!

Where will it all end?

Lightning is filling the sky above, the laboratory is charged with energy, the monster has escaped, where it all end?

I see the villagers lighting torches and sharpening pitch forks, what am I to do?

PLEASE NOTE: If you have a history of epilepsy, please, for gods sake do not visit this site. On a lighter note if you have any taste at all, do like-wise

-Rich

I seriously need help!

GrantFreeman · 11-06-2009, 07:24 PM

Richard,

Send me your address so I can forward my optometrist bill to you, and the recipes for my new cane & seeing eye dog.

Nice touch!

Richard Odell · 11-06-2009, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrantFreeman

Richard,

Send me your address so I can forward my optometrist bill to you, and the recipes for my new cane & seeing eye dog.

Nice touch!

This is only beginning, the madness has finally overtaken, dogs actually flee from this address (URL).

I have new <body> parts arriving on the next peasant cart in the morning, I fear the grave robbing has only just begun!

If you have covers please hide under them!

On a lighter note.. curiosity is killing the cat (its parts will also be included) the unique visitor count is up to 332, by the wonders statcounter (Dam! I wish they had an affiliate program!).

-Rich

PS: I must get this lab coat in the wash, surgery takes its toll you know - Mo-hahahahahahahahaha!

Richard Odell · 11-06-2009, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick H

In your copy you need to include some nice tidbits like:

"It's so easy even a friggin' LOSER can make money using my CPA system!!! Why even my DEAD HORSE can make money using my super secret methods!!!"

"I remember the first day I realized that I could make money online. I mixing some mortar for a fence I was building when it hit me like a ton of bricks! PEOPLE WANT TO BUY STUFF THEY LIKE!!! I CAN SELL IT TO THEM!!!"

"Just look at my ClickBak accounts! None of them Are fekd!!! They are all reel!"

"I can't hold my seecrets in any longer! I have to share them with you because I promised my Mother on her deathbed I would tell everyone on the Web how they too can make $20,993.14 working from part-time from home in their underwear!!!"

"Don't even let it cross your mind FOR A SECOND that I would want to keep my money making secrets to myself so there is LESS competition and MORE money for me. I am giving back to the community I love so dearly! I want YOU to succeed!!! AND DON'T EVER FORGET THAT!"

Excellent!

Egor the scalpel!

I feel some editing coming on...

-Rich

Branlan17 · 11-08-2009, 11:13 PM

Be sure and add "Did I mention it's proven and a system? That's right, A PROVEN SYSTEM, basically, it's a system that's proven!!!11!11!"

amber1210 · 11-09-2009, 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Richard Odell

I have a waving cat on my hard drive, someone even has it as an avatar on this forum, shame on them - you know who you are?

Sinful!

-------------------------------

Lol Nice. At least its not a wierd "LOL Cat" Picture. Though, I don't think I'd use it as an avatar. It'd be great for little 7 year old girls.

Tschimuun · 01-12-2010, 03:10 PM

Testimony with claiming to make 1 million in just a few month.
Youtube video with you trying to speak seriously but laughing all the time.
Say I have to share my secrets because otherwise my pocket will burst because of all my money, if I do not the volume of my income will kill me i have to share and get rid of it.
Say they will make thousands with only 5 minutes everyday or something.
"Buy this secret course it is so secret that even I don't know how secret it actually is" haha.

Don't make a discount, write 7$ thenmake it gray or something put a / across it do the ame with other prices and finally write: Selling at the best price ever, 197$ or something.
Buy now you won't get this deal ever again.
IMPORTANT: Buy now because we will maybe even lower the price pretty pretty soon or even put up more websites to promote is.
This isn't your last chance so buy it right now.

and like said before copies available -5

hjalte81 · 01-12-2010, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tschimuun

Say I have to share my secrets because otherwise my pocket will burst because of all my money, if I do not the volume of my income will kill me i have to share and get rid of it.

Lol... that's a pretty cool reason for selling something, think I'll use it sometime

Jay Malone · 01-12-2010, 08:03 PM

How about a big sign(or this could be your <h1>-<h2>) "This is not a scam. We are a legit business trying to screw you out of your money

Jay Malone · 01-12-2010, 08:07 PM

Be sure to add some random pictures. To name a few-Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Beyonce. It's a real good sales tactic that I always am sure to use on my sales letters.

GeorgR. · 01-12-2010, 08:14 PM

I must have missed that thread a few months ago, but the truth is that many *real* sites would very well fit into that category "worst sites" - so you actually dont really need to make one.

Examples:

Sites where they show a video interview with with some "i make a lot of money guru" and explicitly show how he arrives with his porsche/hummer/ferrari before the interview starts <-- super cheesy. But i guess many idiots are extremely impressed by this

Sites where all you see is how much money you allegedly make, testimonials how great "the system" is...screenshots of sales etc... but NEVER EVER a detail of the method is revealed or even remotely what it is about.

Slogans like:

"Buy Now:The system is so powerful that i very likely NEED to take this off in the next days, it's just TOO powerful. So better act now"

(Count down running which, by coincidence, gives a super special deal BUT ONLY if i buy it withing the next 5 minutes. Needless to say the same countdown is on the site every day i visit the site)

Offer is made for product, say $97. I click to leave the side, and low and behold, all of a sudden i get a exit pop-up that i can get that very product at a special "omg please don't leave the site!"-discount, now its only $67. Basically screwed over already within 1 minute of being on the site...

And the list goes on...

Why would i need to make a site like that....just look around , its all there

RefundHost · 01-12-2010, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andrew_writes

CLICK HERE NOW TO BUY WHAT'S BELOW BEFORE TIME RUNS OUT!!!

Sadly, that would actually WORK! I'm going to use it.

Here:

seoseoseoseoseoseo .com

11-05-2009, 01:35 PM	#101
Richard Odell Has left the building... War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,435 Thanks: 525 Thanked 216 Times in 172 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? One more thing? Fake testimonials are an essential part of any self respecting bad website. What with the clamp down with FTC, am I going to get myself into trouble if I include these? What can I do to get around this. Suggestions of course should be in the best possible taste? -Rich

11-05-2009, 01:43 PM	#102
amber1210 Active Warrior Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Missouri Posts: 43 Thanks: 4 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? Add a bunch of those "LOL Cat" pictures. They are really lame. I find them greatly annoying. You could also have a horrible song playing on the page like "William Hung: She Bangs" I'm sure you'd get some horrible attention just from mixing the Lol cats and this song... YouTube - William Hung - She Bangs

11-05-2009, 02:07 PM	#104
JackPowers Freeman War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 718 Thanks: 73 Thanked 97 Times in 72 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? I've learned so much about marketing from reading this thread. The only problem is, with this much top notch info, where do I begin?

11-05-2009, 03:48 PM	#105
Charann Miller Advanced Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 713 Thanks: 79 Thanked 78 Times in 43 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? Hmmmm, tough call with the testimonials. I think if you were to stress that they were to be used for the purpose of highlighting "what not to do", or mistakes to avoid when promoting your online business, then you might be able to get around it. I'd be cautious though in terms of the FTC changes next month. Always best to cover yourself. I know the ones you mean though, the "Hey marketing genius who changed my life. Until I found your system I never made a dollar online, then I had the good fortune of stumbling upon your system just before I was about to give up. I then applied your easy to follow system and was astonished to find that I had made $500 overnight while I was sleeping" - J. Simpkins, New Jersey. Hey, don't use that! Hehehehe. Looking forward to your Frankenstein monstrosity.
	PLR - Time Management Niche PLR - Anger Management Niche PLR - Ex Back Niche PLR - Self Esteem Niche

11-05-2009, 05:10 PM	#106
ramone_johnny No excuses - Just do it War Room Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Sydney Posts: 3,318 Thanks: 766 Thanked 1,363 Times in 685 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? I think you should change that Javascript popup when exiting the page to say, click OK, to stay on this page, click CANCEL to stay on this page. Really confuse 'em.
	share accommodation \| website proposal template \| start a web design business \| website purchase agreement \| start an seo business

11-05-2009, 05:39 PM	#107
GrantFreeman Freeman Creations War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Somewhere next to a desert cactus, USA. Posts: 1,078 Blog Entries: 6 Thanks: 273 Thanked 62 Times in 37 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? The photograph is to clean.. And the text was too easy to read with no misspellings.. just can't have that Grant

11-05-2009, 05:57 PM	#108
Michael Stuart Kelly HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Evanston, IL, USA. Posts: 173 Thanks: 74 Thanked 258 Times in 26 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? Richard, There are some fields missing: PLEASE ENTER YOUR FULL NAME, PHONE NUMBER, ADDRESS, NATIONAL INSURANCE NUMBER OR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, AND CREDIT CARD INFORMATION (ALL CARDS PLEASE) IN THE APPROPRIATE FIELD SO YOU CAN BE INCLUDED IN OUR DATABASE! Michael
	Know thyself...

11-06-2009, 07:14 PM	#110
Richard Odell Has left the building... War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,435 Thanks: 525 Thanked 216 Times in 172 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? Its evolving, its revolting, its has it life of its own - it is alive! Where will it all end? Lightning is filling the sky above, the laboratory is charged with energy, the monster has escaped, where it all end? I see the villagers lighting torches and sharpening pitch forks, what am I to do? PLEASE NOTE: If you have a history of epilepsy, please, for gods sake do not visit this site. On a lighter note if you have any taste at all, do like-wise -Rich I seriously need help!

11-06-2009, 07:24 PM	#111
GrantFreeman Freeman Creations War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Somewhere next to a desert cactus, USA. Posts: 1,078 Blog Entries: 6 Thanks: 273 Thanked 62 Times in 37 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? Richard, Send me your address so I can forward my optometrist bill to you, and the recipes for my new cane & seeing eye dog. Nice touch!

11-08-2009, 11:13 PM	#114
Branlan17 Brandon Landis - SICK SEO War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 883 Thanks: 145 Thanked 56 Times in 32 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? Be sure and add "Did I mention it's proven and a system? That's right, A PROVEN SYSTEM, basically, it's a system that's proven!!!11!11!"

01-12-2010, 03:10 PM	#116
Tschimuun Active Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 97 Thanks: 3 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? Testimony with claiming to make 1 million in just a few month. Youtube video with you trying to speak seriously but laughing all the time. Say I have to share my secrets because otherwise my pocket will burst because of all my money, if I do not the volume of my income will kill me i have to share and get rid of it. Say they will make thousands with only 5 minutes everyday or something. "Buy this secret course it is so secret that even I don't know how secret it actually is" haha. Don't make a discount, write 7$ thenmake it gray or something put a / across it do the ame with other prices and finally write: Selling at the best price ever, 197$ or something. Buy now you won't get this deal ever again. IMPORTANT: Buy now because we will maybe even lower the price pretty pretty soon or even put up more websites to promote is. This isn't your last chance so buy it right now. and like said before copies available -5

01-12-2010, 08:03 PM	#118
Jay Malone Warrior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 19 Thanks: 14 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? How about a big sign(or this could be your <h1>-<h2>) "This is not a scam. We are a legit business trying to screw you out of your money

01-12-2010, 08:07 PM	#119
Jay Malone Warrior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 19 Thanks: 14 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? Be sure to add some random pictures. To name a few-Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Beyonce. It's a real good sales tactic that I always am sure to use on my sales letters.

01-12-2010, 08:14 PM	#120
GeorgR. Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Earth Posts: 5,934 Blog Entries: 15 Thanks: 72 Thanked 866 Times in 574 Posts Social Networking	Re: Warriors - the worst site ever - can you help me build it? I must have missed that thread a few months ago, but the truth is that many real sites would very well fit into that category "worst sites" - so you actually dont really need to make one. Examples: Sites where they show a video interview with with some "i make a lot of money guru" and explicitly show how he arrives with his porsche/hummer/ferrari before the interview starts <-- super cheesy. But i guess many idiots are extremely impressed by this Sites where all you see is how much money you allegedly make, testimonials how great "the system" is...screenshots of sales etc... but NEVER EVER a detail of the method is revealed or even remotely what it is about. Slogans like: "Buy Now:The system is so powerful that i very likely NEED to take this off in the next days, it's just TOO powerful. So better act now" (Count down running which, by coincidence, gives a super special deal BUT ONLY if i buy it withing the next 5 minutes. Needless to say the same countdown is on the site every day i visit the site) Offer is made for product, say $97. I click to leave the side, and low and behold, all of a sudden i get a exit pop-up that i can get that very product at a special "omg please don't leave the site!"-discount, now its only $67. Basically screwed over already within 1 minute of being on the site... And the list goes on... Why would i need to make a site like that....just look around , its all there
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