"You are our beacon of light in this long dark tunnel of chaos."

8 replies
...is my favorite of the many unsolicited testimonials I've recently received.

As my gift to you I'll share how I garnered such acclaim and how you can, too!

Here's the technique, although I hesitate to call it so, as I accidentally discovered it:

First a bit of back-story:

A while back I started a blog-now back-burnered-for a new project that refused to gain traction.
I'm sure many of us have done the same.

In this case I got to the point of installing WP, using the default blue theme.
Unusually, for me, I used the user name "admin" on the blog.

For a few weeks or so the only content was the standard WP "Hello World" message.
While interesting, at least the first time you read it, it's certainly not worthy of the comments I received.

Here's a sample of the most "original":

Interesting and informative. But will you write about this one more?

Thank you for your mighty fine work. You are our beacon of light in this long dark tunnel of chaos.

Valuable thoughts and advices. I read your topic with great interest.

WoW! Thank you very much for that enlightening article

Thank you! You often write very interesting articles. You improved my mood.

I read a few topics. I respect your work and added blog to favorites.

I read a few topics. I respect your work and added blog to favorites.

Splendid article . Will definitely copy it to my blog.Thanks.

Michael, a very interesting post thanks for writing it!

Noel, it is a great post thanks for writing it!

In truth, immediately i didn't understand the essence. But after re-reading all at once became clear.

Are you a professional journalist? You write very well.

Hmm... I read blogs on a similar topic, but i never visited your blog. I added it to favorites and i'll be your constant reader.

Smith, it is a great post thanks for posting it!

I really like your blog and i respect your work. I'll be a frequent visitor.
As you see it's simple, quick and easy.

There is one problem with this method--for the posters.

The first two plugins I install on any new blog I set up are "Akismet" and "All-in-one-SEO", not necessarily in that order.

All of these spam comments were caught by Akismet and I neglected to approve them.

Feeling very unappreciative of the compliments from my many admirers, immediately after copying the better ones I deleted all.

But, if you're having a down day, read a few of these and you'll immediately feel better.

Hope you got a laugh,

Elmer
  • Profile picture of the author CurtisN
    Dear friend,

    I just read this thread and got lots of solid info from it. I implemented the methods within and just made $8000.

    Highly recommended!

    Curtis
    Signature
    Curtis Ng (blog) - Product Launch Manager
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    • Profile picture of the author John Taylor
      Originally Posted by CurtisN View Post

      Dear friend,

      I just read this thread and got lots of solid info from it. I implemented the methods within and just made $8000.

      Highly recommended!

      Curtis
      Beware of testimonials that do not contain
      the magical number seven. They are much
      more likely to be fake. ;-)

      John
      Signature
      John's Internet Marketing News, Views & Reviews: John Taylor Online
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  • Profile picture of the author Morket
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author George Wright
      Originally Posted by Morket View Post

      I didn't get it. Please explain.
      Hi,

      "You are a beacon of light in this long dark tunnel of chaos." It's the secret chant for the society of Hurlstone.

      It gets your blog posts immediately approved.

      If and when you get pulled over by any traffic cop for anything. Shake his hand and pressing your thumb firmly on the top of his hand look him in the eye and simply say "you are a beacon of light in this long dark tunnel of chaos." He won't write you a ticket.

      Say this to the guard at Walmart and he won't check your bags or reciept.

      Shout "You are a beacon of light... etc. as you drive past a toll booth and they won't stop you for not paying.

      Once you reach the 88th degree the rest of the chant will be revealed and you will never have to pay taxes again.

      I hope you don't think I'm going to sign this
      Signature
      "The first chapter sells the book; the last chapter sells the next book." Mickey Spillane
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      • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
        George,
        That was so pre 1872 how would you know?
        I couldn't believe a word you said.

        ~Michael :p
        Originally Posted by George Wright View Post

        Hi,

        "You are a beacon of light in this long dark tunnel of chaos." It's the secret chant for the society of Hurlstone.

        It gets your blog posts immediately approved.

        If and when you get pulled over by any traffic cop for anything. Shake his hand and pressing your thumb firmly on the top of his hand look him in the eye and simply say "you are a beacon of light in this long dark tunnel of chaos." He won't write you a ticket.

        Say this to the guard at Walmart and he won't check your bags or reciept.

        Shout "You are a beacon of light... etc. as you drive past a toll booth and they won't stop you for not paying.

        Once you reach the 88th degree the rest of the chant will be revealed and you will never have to pay taxes again.

        I hope you don't think I'm going to sign this
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  • Profile picture of the author rapidscc
    Hey elmer thanks for the laugh and also for the comment templates they're actually good

    "Splendid article . Will definitely copy it to my blog.Thanks!"

    Omar
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    • Profile picture of the author Elmer Hurlstone
      Originally Posted by rapidscc View Post

      Hey elmer thanks for the laugh and also for the comment templates they're actually good

      Omar
      Omar,

      As you, and perhaps others, use this freely provided "comment template" insure you don't make the same mistake three of my semi-adoring fans made.

      Michael, a very interesting post thanks for writing it!

      Noel, it is a great post thanks for writing it!

      Smith, it is a great post thanks for posting it!
      Always, and I do mean ALWAYS, strive to get the name right!

      Intra-post disclaimer: OK, before someone accuses me of accusing rapidscc of engaging in comment spam I'm simply replying to his reply in the same vein of his initial reply to the OP. I do not believe Omar does now or has ever engaged in blog-post-spam! (This disclaimer is necessary and mandated by the increasing numbers of the humoristically impaired among us.)

      One of the very first things someone notices in any type of communication is their name.

      If, in conversation with John Taylor, I called him "Paul" I would likely alienate two people; John Taylor and Paul Myers.

      Don't know a name? Don't use one.

      There are no given names attached to the blog these comments were made on. Regardless, the blog owner/publisher (me) became "Michael", "Smith" and "Noel". The last one because it's nearer to Christmas than not?

      Enjoy,

      Elmer
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  • Profile picture of the author Don Schenk
    Elmer, just think, you are a real inspiration to several bots.

    ...and in case you didn't realize it, to several warriors too.

    :-Don

    BTW just sent you a PM.
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  • Profile picture of the author Tinkerbell
    Elmer, I get the same sort of thing - comment spam. Lately I've noticed one-line jokes coming through on a daily basis. I don't approve any of them, but I'm tempted to store them up in another folder somewhere. After a year, I'll have one heck of a one-liner joke book! Hahaha!
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