I need honest opinions!!! Brutal truth if necessary!

marketmaker · 11-12-2009, 11:46 AM

Hello all,

My name is David Vitarelli, owner of Elite Media Marketing. We are a lead gen company looking to make a transition into IM. That being said, this is my first post to this forum, I hope to gain and offer much.
ALL of my sales, currently, are generated form "cold calling"! I am looking to employ a generous PPC campaign, but I need to know if my landing page is appropriate for such a marketing method. I am hoping to direct Lead gen/ IM clients to the site in hopes of receiving inbound phone calls. Up to this point I referred prospects to the site to inform them, now I want it to sell them...how does it look? I will take any and constructive criticism because this is my frist post I am not allowed to post my URL? visit "elitemediaus" dot com Thank you!!

Bill Farnham · 11-12-2009, 12:12 PM

Hi David,

Brutal truth? OK, here's both barrels at once...your copy sucks.

If you are trying to position yourself as an online expert in marketing you are going to kill your credibilty in one fell swoop with that 'corporate speak' you are currently using.

Additionally, a high quality score for Adwords will be hard to maintain as it is based on a combination of the keywords you choose and the text on your landing page, among other things.

Having phrases like, "One-way link building includes viral marketing, directory submissions, link baiting, link harvesting, and targeted link acquisition" are not going to help you.

Again phrases like, "PPC advertising is a responsive, adaptable, and economical marketing strategy that is extremely effective in providing preeminent advertising for you. In order to provide you such results, PPC ads must be carefully researched, written, and designed" indicate that your level of understanding how the system works is woefully inadequate based on your inability to do it on your own website.

Unless you are simply targeting newbies who are even more clueless than the person who wrote this copy you will have an uphill battle competing in a niche where there is a lot of genuine expertise.

Perhaps you could post on the Copywriting Forum here looking for ideas. There are some extremely helpful folks there. My appologies for being blunt...

KJ

marketmaker · 11-12-2009, 02:43 PM

Thank you Killer Joe! you basically confirmed what I had suspected! the truth does hurt sometimes! I made the fatal mistsake of letting a generic web disign company write the copy for my site. My niche , currently, is Lead sales in debt settlement, but I am looking to incorporate other services to my company. I want to make the necessary changes and I will be posting a thread in the "copywriting forum" to get a better grasp on what the copy should look like. I have also been doing an extensive amount of reading on the subject , I am currently reading "Search Engine Marketing" by Andrea Ramos and Stephanie Cotta. Do you have any other recommendations for innformational literature? All input is appreciated, thank you again.

11-12-2009, 11:46 AM	#1
marketmaker Warrior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Philadelphia, Pa Posts: 13 Thanks: 12 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	I need honest opinions!!! Brutal truth if necessary! Hello all, My name is David Vitarelli, owner of Elite Media Marketing. We are a lead gen company looking to make a transition into IM. That being said, this is my first post to this forum, I hope to gain and offer much. ALL of my sales, currently, are generated form "cold calling"! I am looking to employ a generous PPC campaign, but I need to know if my landing page is appropriate for such a marketing method. I am hoping to direct Lead gen/ IM clients to the site in hopes of receiving inbound phone calls. Up to this point I referred prospects to the site to inform them, now I want it to sell them...how does it look? I will take any and constructive criticism because this is my frist post I am not allowed to post my URL? visit "elitemediaus" dot com Thank you!!

11-12-2009, 12:12 PM	#2
Bill Farnham Videos for the Web War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Virginia, USA. Posts: 2,704 Blog Entries: 5 Thanks: 2,586 Thanked 2,818 Times in 1,421 Posts Social Networking	Re: I need honest opinions!!! Brutal truth if necessary! Hi David, Brutal truth? OK, here's both barrels at once...your copy sucks. If you are trying to position yourself as an online expert in marketing you are going to kill your credibilty in one fell swoop with that 'corporate speak' you are currently using. Additionally, a high quality score for Adwords will be hard to maintain as it is based on a combination of the keywords you choose and the text on your landing page, among other things. Having phrases like, "One-way link building includes viral marketing, directory submissions, link baiting, link harvesting, and targeted link acquisition" are not going to help you. Again phrases like, "PPC advertising is a responsive, adaptable, and economical marketing strategy that is extremely effective in providing preeminent advertising for you. In order to provide you such results, PPC ads must be carefully researched, written, and designed" indicate that your level of understanding how the system works is woefully inadequate based on your inability to do it on your own website. Unless you are simply targeting newbies who are even more clueless than the person who wrote this copy you will have an uphill battle competing in a niche where there is a lot of genuine expertise. Perhaps you could post on the Copywriting Forum here looking for ideas. There are some extremely helpful folks there. My appologies for being blunt... KJ
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11-12-2009, 02:43 PM	#3
marketmaker Warrior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Philadelphia, Pa Posts: 13 Thanks: 12 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: I need honest opinions!!! Brutal truth if necessary! Thank you Killer Joe! you basically confirmed what I had suspected! the truth does hurt sometimes! I made the fatal mistsake of letting a generic web disign company write the copy for my site. My niche , currently, is Lead sales in debt settlement, but I am looking to incorporate other services to my company. I want to make the necessary changes and I will be posting a thread in the "copywriting forum" to get a better grasp on what the copy should look like. I have also been doing an extensive amount of reading on the subject , I am currently reading "Search Engine Marketing" by Andrea Ramos and Stephanie Cotta. Do you have any other recommendations for innformational literature? All input is appreciated, thank you again.