My Epic Fail (sigh . . . )

[tgilberg]

I’m curious if anyone can relate to this . . .

Has anyone asked you what you do for a living, and then you start explaining internet marketing to them, and then they just . . . they just give you the thousand-yard stare?

Seriously, I have never found a good way to explain it. What do you guys say? Please reply so that I can not feel like such an idiot.

Here’s what usually happens, and tell me if you can relate . . .

I’ll meet someone at a party or something, and when they ask what I do for a living, I’ll start explaining internet marketing.

I’ll toss out phrases like “sell my own products online” or “run a membership site” or “convert traffic and make sales,” etc.

But I’ll get this continuous blank look from them that makes me feel like I’ve just knocked on their front door with a vacuum cleaner and a little jar of dirt to pour on their carpet.

Seriously, it’s as if I’m trying to explain the color blue to a blind person.

So here’s how the conversation usually ends. After fouling off pitch after pitch, I’ll say something like, “It’s kinda like being a marketing consultant.” (“Consultant” seems to be a respectable word that people understand.)

And then they’ll brighten and say something like, “Cool. Must be nice to work out of the house on your own schedule, huh?”

And then me, disappointedly: "Um, yeah, dude. ‘Zackly."

Anyway, can anyone in this forum relate? Please tell me how you explain internet marketing to “the outside world.”

[Jeremy Kelsall]

I own a marketing company...

I also watch Network News and Jerry Springer for a living

[BillyBee]

Originally Posted by tgilberg

Please tell me how you explain internet marketing to “the outside world.”

I often tell people I'm a freelance writer. Since a lot of this business is writing, it doesn't seem like a bad description.

[JasonP]

As soon as I mention internet, they automatically think "adult".

[BillyBee]

Originally Posted by JasonP

As soon as I mention internet, they automatically think "adult".

Jason, exactly!!! I often get a very shifty look from people if I put the words "internet" and "marketing" in the same sentence. Too funny.

[SurviveUnemployment]

I tell them I do viral marketing and hand them my card. Less is more.

[hotftuna]

Been doing this for 10 years and never personally found it to be an issue.

[Happy_Balance]

Originally Posted by tgilberg

...Anyway, can anyone in this forum relate? Please tell me how you explain internet marketing to “the outside world.”

Simple:
"I enjoy managing Internet Properties and Opportunities"

Now, if they are interested, or already know about the web, then they can respond "without the blank stare".

[AmyBrown]

The vast majority who ask the question don't really care about the answer. It's generally far more interesting and profitable to turn the table and find out more about them and what they do.

[Charles L Rivera]

I've been a professional web developer for years and an Internet Marketer about two months ... If it ever comes up I will still have the same response as before:

I build web sites for people.

[Happy_Balance]

Originally Posted by AmyBrown

The vast majority who ask the question don't really care about the answer. It's generally far more interesting and profitable to turn the table and find out more about them and what they do.

Really good advice, thanks for the reminder.

[JohnMcCabe]

My answer depends on the conversation. Sometimes the answer is "not much..."

Usually I just say I run a small publishing company and a marketing company. I either get a couple of questions, or "cool..." and the conversation moves on.

Having more salt than pepper in my hair here in God's Waiting Room, most folks ask what I used to do... They assume that since I don't go to a job, I must be retired.

[Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter]

I tell them I'm a porn star (which, of course, I could be...)

[Fernando Veloso]

Once i said i was a hacker.

I was bored explain what the hell I do and that slipped out of my mouth.

Never Again. My wife's family still believes i am a hacker.

lol

[Ross Vegas]

Acceptable replies:

I run my own business

I'm an online sales rep

I'm a third world digital slave driver...stuff like that.

[Gene Pimentel]

"I connect sellers with buyers"

[kfilliez]

So Funny You Bring This Up!

My mother made me explain 5 times before she 'maybe' got it. Of course she has no idea how to even turn on a computer so I don't even know why I tried.

Never Again...

Now I just say Freelance Advertising, marketing, and Sales. Keep it simple...if they want to know more, they will ask and then just refer them to your website.

Happy Friday!

[GoGetta]

I just say I run several online businesses!

I love the mysterious part about IM.

GoGetta

[Craig McPherson]

I own and operate websites.

[Radix]

I'm Batman


don't tell anyone


doh

[MarkWrites]

This comes up every once in awhile and I think that to the uneducated "internet marketing" sounds scammy or spammy because they don't know any better. For those reasons, depending on who I am talking to, I usually describe what I do as "content creation" or "web development".

[Todd Lamb]

The lesson within the lesson here is how many people there are who have no idea what you do and yet they will buy products online..an perhaps wonder one day..how can I do this.

I once asked a group of people if they knew "this guy" who is a 7 figure online guy and they all said no...

fantastic...it's a huge market..huge

that said..I've been drinkin and it's my fourth holiday this year

[mattlaclear]

Originally Posted by tgilberg

I’m curious if anyone can relate to this . . .

Has anyone asked you what you do for a living, and then you start explaining internet marketing to them, and then they just . . . they just give you the thousand-yard stare?”

Hahaha...my parents still don't understand what I do for a living and I have been doing this IM gig full time for over 10 years!

Now when someone asks me what I do for a living it goes something like this:

Neighbor: What do you do for a living Matt? I never see you leave for work. Are you on unemployment?

Me: Uh no. I make my living online.

Neighbor: Oh, you sell stuff on ebay?

Me: No...I'm an Internet Marketer.

Neighbor: What does that mean?

Me: It means I market on the Internet.

Neighbor: Ah, yeah. Makes sense.

I gave up a long time ago explaining my business to industry outsiders. There's just no upside to doing so. So now I just let everyone think I'm unemployed or on disability or something. =)

[Ofthemix]

I usually say "I do a lot of stuff". If the conversation goes further than that, I'll add "I help online business owners." Most non-techy people realize that whatever I could explain to them beyond that would just be confusing.

[WealthWithin]

"I work as an online marketing consultant"

I think this works both ways.

people who knows IM will understand - 'online marketing'
others will get - 'marketing consultant'.

[networkmemetics]

"third world digital slave driver" hahah

I am going to to have to register that domain name for my outsourcing business.

[Popstar]

Why don't you just tell them you're a video producer? It's true and spares you the trouble of explaining the Internet component.

Debbie

[smaaz]

I usually tell them that I build websites and then sell advertising on it, similar to a magazine or newspaper.

[Jesse Kemmerer]

Here's the best way I've found to explain it...

"I identify a market that has a burning desire or question. Next, I find
a solution to that problem or question. Then, I sell them the solution."

[CDarklock]

Originally Posted by tgilberg

Anyway, can anyone in this forum relate? Please tell me how you explain internet marketing to “the outside world.”

The key to this conversation is not to appear too different from something the other guy understands.

Me: "Ever see those websites that tell you how to make money on the internet?"

Other dude: "Yeah."

Me: "I write those."

Then there's an awkward pause, and we might have this conversation.

Other dude: "So you like, send spam?"

Me: "No. I just get paid to write the website. It's like any other job - I do what they pay me to do, and I don't care what they do with it when I'm done."

Then we might have this one.

Other dude: "Do those things work?"

Me: "Yeah, but it's still a full-time job. You'll work the same ten to twelve hours a day that you would starting any other business, and you'll still probably fail within five years."

And finally, we might have this one.

Other dude: "How much do you make doing that? I mean, what do you get an hour? What's your salary?"

Me: "I don't have one. It's like working on commission; if I don't sell anything, I don't make anything. When I do sell something, sometimes I get paid a lot, but there are fat times and lean times."

The beauty of this is that I don't have to explain what article marketing is, what ghostwriting is, what copywriting is, or what an infoproduct is. I just wrap it all up into "website," and people grasp that. And the takeaway in every case is that my job is just like any other job - with the same tradeoffs everybody makes when they're choosing a career.

The fun part is when they ask how long I've been doing it, and I say "just a few months," and they ask what I did before.

"I was a project manager at Microsoft."

So if they really press, yeah, I'll drop the bomb. I won't say it straight out, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that nobody walks away from Microsoft for a crap job.

[Profit-smart]

I usually just go with "I work in IT"

If they digg, I say "We connect companys with clients"

Frankly, I dont mind the mystery. If I have to explain it in depth, then their really interested; so I just go all out.

[Powertreb]

"I make money online"

That's how I usually start the explanation. I let them fill in the blanks.

Sometimes I'll elaborate with something they can relateto:

ME: When was the last time you bought something online?
THEM: Yesterday. I ordered a new printer from Amazon.
ME: Well, I made a commission on your purchase.

[tgilberg]

Thanks for all these great replies, everyone. You've given me some excellent material!

[Troy_Phillips]

I am a doctor , a lawyer and a movie star. By the way ...I own this bar

[JMPruitt]

i agree with a lot of others here. I just tell people I am a webmaster and I make money from ads on my websites.

[mandela10]

The other day, my mom's friend her where do I work at? she responded "huh he does something online, I don't know exactly". I imagine myself giving that answer to a person who happen to ask me what i do for living, it would be a very blank answer but my mom's friend did not press on though I guess shes was satisfies with the answer or not!

[SlickEddie]

I tell everyone that I have a "sugar mommy". That leads to more interesting banter.

Or

I'll add to the mystique (or confusion for others) and say I'm in internet arbitrage. I have yet to meet someone offline that's involved in IM.

[GeorgR.]

You must explain something wrong

I always use Google as an example since everyone knows Google - and i tell them something like "you know those ads on the side, when you look for something on Google?" Then i explain that i operate my own sites and i am selling stuff online, for example when people click on those ads.

I never got "weird stares", actually all people are impressed that i am making a living of this. Or when i am telling them i am outsourcing some work.

[mr2monster]

I generally just tell people I sell drugs.

Most people really aren't interested in what I do anyway, and just laugh and walk off. i.e. they're using the question to break the silence.

The few that are actually interested in what I do generally ask, "no really, what do you do?"

Then I lead them through a maze of things like "If I told you, you wouldn't believe me..." and "I model underwear in the mirror..." etc.


Very rarely will I tell someone that I don't know what I ACTUALLY do unless I sense a sincere interest.

[pink sapphire]

Originally Posted by JasonP

As soon as I mention internet, they automatically think "adult".

Yes, or "spammer"

I try to keep it vague & discourage further questions. The last thing I want is someone asking me to show them how to do it too & expecting endless free coaching. But most of the time they're just asking to be polite & don't expect a in-depth answer anyway. I just say something like:

I do web stuff
I do content writing for websites
I'm a freelance writer (well, I used to be - now I'm my only client, but they don't need to know that)
I make websites
I've got an internet business
I work online

I never call myself a marketer though - it just feels weird...

[matrix1989]

"im a cigarette lighter repairman"

or

"im a professional hop-scotch player" you can see me on ESPN ocho

[BillyBee]

Originally Posted by pink sapphire

Yes, or "spammer"

Yeah, I get the "spammer" comment, too, sometimes. People are often very suspicious of marketing and marketers. Then again, I was too before I got into this field myself.

[Jim Symonds]

I can totally relate to this when I tell people I sell MLM membership software.

It's either the far away star, or, "Oh, a pyramid scheme."

UGH!

Now, I've learned to use examples that hit closer to home - Avon, Mary Kay, Tupperware. Yes, MLM really is legal, done the right way.

But anyway you slice it, for ppl who don't work on the net, it's a stretch for them to get. They tend to think all biz opps are spam and scams.

What a shame.

Jim

[Alan Petersen]

Person: What do you do?
Me: I'm an online publisher.
Now Confused person: What do you publish?
Me: Have you ever bought or seen one of those "how to" books?
Less confused person: Oh yea, I love those.
Me: I write & publish those.
Now excited person: oh that's cool. What kind of books?
Me: Check out my site: my blog URL.
Now intrigued person: okay cool, thanks.

Done.

[Shana_Adam]

Most people just understand the term "oh you work in IT" no further questions asked.

The older generation still find it hard to understand how a shop can be hosted in the air, on this thing called the internet, a bit like grandmothers who used to speculate whether people were actually inside the TV.

bless those were the good old fashioned innocent days

[bgmacaw]

Originally Posted by Shana_Adam

The older generation still find it hard to understand how a shop can be hosted in the air, on this thing called the internet,

That's kind of a blanket generalization. My Mom will be 80 pretty soon and she's an active seller on eBay and understands the basics of Adsense and affiliate marketing. Of course, my Dad thinks "spammer" most of the time. And, you can take a guess at what my age is given my parents' age.

Most people who know me know that I've been doing software development, web development and business systems consulting for years and that I was an eBay Powerseller for a while so they just assume that what I'm doing online now is a continuation of that.

[mr2monster]

Originally Posted by Alan Petersen

Person: What do you do?
Me: I'm an online publisher.
Now Confused person: What do you publish?
Me: Have you ever bought or seen one of those "how to" books?
Less confused person: Oh yea, I love those.
Me: I write & publish those.
Now excited person: oh that's cool. What kind of books?
Me: Check out my site: my blog URL.
Now intrigued person: okay cool, thanks.

Done.

You must live in a how-to area... haha...

I used to try this and my scenario would go more like this:

Person: What do you do?
Me: I'm an online publisher.
Now Confused person: What do you publish?
Me: Have you ever bought or seen one of those "how to" books?
Less confused person: Yeah....
Me: I write & publish those.
Now excited person: So, you're the guy that wants to spam me into buying a fake book from the internet?
Me:You're worthless... leave me alone.

[Kirahster]

Originally Posted by JasonP

As soon as I mention internet, they automatically think "adult".

Probably because you run a strip club!