Can You Relate to Your Mentor Anymore?

[Nightengale]

Hi all,

I've basically been on hiatus from anything remotely related to business and marketing the last few months. I've been dealing with serious burnout and also some physical/medical issues and shelved everything (IM and school (I've been going part-time for the last 4 years)) except my day job. (And if I could have shelved that too, I would have. :P But I AM thankful to have a job.) I haven't looked at anything marketing related in quite a while (and I'm a marketing junkie!) and don't check my e-mail for days at a time. I log on to check Facebook (where 98% of my list are personal friends and family -- I only have about 4 business-related contacts on there) and that's about it.

I'm slowly coming back, but very slowly. I've registered for the spring semester (after flunking classes in the Spring of 2009) and am slowly coming back to IM. Unfortunately, I got a nasty case of Upper Respiratory Infection along a sinus thing (which gives me serious, dull, throbbing sinus headaches -- and I NEVER get headaches!). Uuughh! I'm, getting better, but this week marks a solid MONTH that I've been dealing with it.

As for IM... I haven't looked at any of the marketing materials I have and my own business activities and list has slowly withered due to lack of attention. I'm a marketing junkie and LOVE LOVE LOVE IM. But I hate the often-incestuous nature of IM: IMers selling to other IMers. That had a lot of do with why I shelved IM entirely for a while. I needed a breather and just get away from it all for a while.

I'm also SICK SICK SICK of all the e-mails I get from all of the IMers. GGRRRR! It's great when you're new and soaking up as much info as possible. But I'm a long way from being new to IM and I'm just OVER the e-mails. I'm unsubscribing from everyone's list and I don't check my e-mail for days at a time. (And I've been GLUED to my computer until my hiatus.)

I want to start again, but am finding it difficult to find the motivation. I think it's one of those things where I'll have to do it IN SPITE of the fact that I have no motivation and THEN I'll feel motivated. Since I've been out of work so much because of illness this year, funds are incredibly tight, so I feel like I'm truly starting over. It's incredibly frustrating.

Anyway, all of that is just background. I'm not complaining, just venting and giving you background for my question:

Have you ever felt like you can no longer relate to or get as much value from your mentor as you did previously? That's where I am and I find it incredibly frustrating.

As we're all aware, there are a lot of IM G-U-R-U-S (soory, I hate the way this forum changes the name to "Goober") and though it's easy to get inundated and overwhelmed with all of their info and marketing, hopefully Warriors have found at least one whom they could follow, learn from and model.

I found one: Alexandria Brown. I've been a huge fan for a long time, primarily because she marketed IM info to NON-IM businesses. I also liked her style and the way she taught things.

She's been growing her business fast and furious and in the last year, she went BIG. She's now much more than just a one-person show with a couple of virtual assistants. She's now a huge corporation.

As I come back to IM, I find it very hard to relate to her at any level. She's still the same person and teaching the same things, so her info is no less valid, I'm sure. But she seems much less accessible than before, her topics have gone far beyond her main topic of IM, etc.

I've always liked the fact that she was willing to share personal information about herself (photos of herself, her friends and pets, her home, etc.), but now, she's grown so much and had such huge success that she seems so far beyond me and what I can personally attain. (Yes, I admit it: part of it is jealousy.) But seeing such a gorgeous woman (when I struggle with physical difficulties every day due to a genetic condition) with so much wealth (when I'm struggling financially due to job absences due to medical difficulties)... Well, it makes it very hard to relate at all. And "losing" my mentor is very frustrating.

This isn't about Ali Brown per se. I'm just using my mentor and situation as an example.

Has anyone else had this problem? How did you deal with it?

Granted, I'll feel better when I feel better physcially. (Being ill puts a damper on EVERYTHING. :P) I'm feeling more motivated since I registered for school and started at least looking at my IM stuff again. But the prospect of starting over again is disheartening.

Thanks for listening,
Michelle

[Matt Maiden]

Originally Posted by Nightengale

...She's been growing her business fast and furious and in the last year, she went BIG. She's now much more than just a one-person show with a couple of virtual assistants. She's now a huge corporation.

Might be hard for her to give the same kind of attention now that she is working twice as hard.

Also, it is human nature to get totally immersed in something and feel a certain connection when you are practically in the same mindset as the mentor. Or trying to be.

Then when you separate and stand back to see her from the outside looking in you don't see the same things the same way.

There is personal growth too. Your changes have made it harder to be on her "wavelength" and feeling her "vibes"( Had to throw in some old hippie wisdom )

The truth is, it is healthy to have the feelings you have at this stage in your life. If you could step back and take time off and then come back with the same level of intensity as before then I would think there was not enough growth.

I will always love the music I grew up with but there is no way I can have those same feelings I had when I first heard it.

Matt

[Fred_Acker]

Welcom back Michell. Hope the ur is gone and your ready to get back into the swing of things.

I can easily relate to what you're saying and I think Matt has a good point there:

Also, it is human nature to get totally immersed in something and feel a certain connection when you are practically in the same mindset as the mentor. Or trying to be.

Then when you separate and stand back to see her from the outside looking in you don't see the same things the same way.

But now, if you will, look at it from a different point of view...

You're Jealous! :0)

I don't mean that in a bad way. Actually you can use it as a good thing.

She's been growing her business fast and furious and in the last year, she went BIG. She's now much more than just a one-person show with a couple of virtual assistants. She's now a huge corporation.

As I come back to IM, I find it very hard to relate to her at any level. She's still the same person and teaching the same things, so her info is no less valid, I'm sure. But she seems much less accessible than before, her topics have gone far beyond her main topic of IM, etc.

You were following her and because of illness you are now well behind the 8ball. Ugggg... Ya gotta do ALL that catching up :0{

But, you have the knowledge from your previous experiences and what you learned from her in the past to put you well ahead of the rest of the crowd.

So now it's up to YOU to find that motivation you once had to kick things off.

Does that make any sense what-so-ever?

Fred

[Nightengale]

Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to respond. I greatly appreciate your encouragement (quoted below). I agree.

I'm not new to IM by any stretch of the imagination and I have some experience and success under my belt too. It's not a lack of taking action. In fact, I took so much action (both in IM and school) that I crashed and burned -- big time. I want to come back, but don't want to make the same mistake as I did before, so I'm approaching it slowly and cautiously. Plus, I don't want to have a physical setback as I'm still not 100%.

I think part of my mistake is that I was approaching it as I had been before i.e. immerse myself in IM as if I were new (or at least in the same place that I was before). In other words, take a step BACKWARDS. I didn't realize that's what I was doing until just now. (No wonder I've been frustrated! :P)

Thanks again,
Michelle

Originally Posted by Matt M

There is personal growth too. Your changes have made it harder to be on her "wavelength" and feeling her "vibes"( Had to throw in some old hippie wisdom )

The truth is, it is healthy to have the feelings you have at this stage in your life. If you could step back and take time off and then come back with the same level of intensity as before then I would think there was not enough growth.

Matt

[Nightengale]

Fred,

I admitted it in my original post: I AM somewhat jealous and I know it.

However, I wouldn't have done everything exactly as she teaches and I wouldn't take my business exactly in the same direction as she has hers. But then, EVERYONE has their own spin on things and conducts their business as their own situation and preferences dictate.

I'm not at all interested in "catching up" to the level I'd be at if I were a dedicated disciple and doing everything exactly as she teaches. Partly, it's because I don't want to take my business as far as she has (i.e. create a huge conglomerate) and partly because I need to pace myself. That's why I burned out and got sick in the first place: I was going fast and furious and not taking care of myself as I should have.

So yes, I'm getting back into the swing of things, but I'm approaching it slowly and cautiously. Luckily, my strength lies in copywriting which I can always offer as a service to as few or as many clients as I want (even just 1) and/or I can create IM-related products and services for non-IM related businesses. (I've been pursuing the offline business model.)

Anyway, thanks for understanding and welcoming me back. And for the encouragement. I can really use it at this stage.

Michelle

[CDarklock]

Originally Posted by Nightengale

Partly, it's because I don't want to take my business as far as she has (i.e. create a huge conglomerate) and partly because I need to pace myself.

All relationships are temporary.

Sometimes, you reach a point where the relationship can't be what it has been. It has to become something else. It needs to be different.

This is normal. You should expect it. And when that time comes, you should try to make the transition as painless as you can. But the transition is, in the end, inevitable.