My Biggest Business Obstacle Yet - Wife of 20 Years Left With The Twins & The Dog.

[cypherslock]

My wife and I have been married since 2006. I've lost jobs because I would neither play politics nor suck up. I've scrapped and struggled to find my niche (so to speak), we've had our fair share of trials, but not once did my wife ever say she wanted to leave. I'd even asked her and she's always said she never would.

So if marriage is supposed to be based on trust and is supposed to last til you're old and grey, why do I see this happening so much? Love is not disposable. Seems to me like the easy way out. Prayers be with you, this is a bump and you WILL recover.

[Wilter Quesada]

Hey Mike I wish you the best in life, I would like for you to read How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, By Dale Carnegie this book is amazing it had help me allot in many aspects of my life I am sure that will do the same for you.

[kaarinachanel]

So sorry to hear that Hope all becomes well

[GoGetta]

Mike, that is DAMN tough and I cannot even imagine how you are feeling.

However, last year a lot of things were going crazy offline for myself, my Dad was diagnosed with cancer, 3 months to live, this was probably the top of the pile of many things going crazy. But do you know what got me through the tough days,

Internet Marketing & My Business!

My advice would be to keep busy and literally throw yourself into your business, when it comes to the New Year, go on holiday for a while and take a break to put things into view a little.

My business got me through and through the tough times actually thrived, so try to do the same. Although your situation isn't related to mine in any way, it is what worked for me at a tough time!

Keep ya chin up, TIME, is the best healer!

GoGetta

[kf]

What could be truer than this? Nice perspective Monique.

Originally Posted by seriousmny

Get busy living my friend...time passes quickly, utilize every minute you have.

Mike,

You may find some comfort in the work of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, particularly her five stages of grief. Note that you won't always move through them in a linear way, it's quite normal to bounce back and forward.

Kübler-Ross model - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Andrew Kryzak]

Mike, I know how you feel. My wife left me about three weeks ago. It was awful. I thought I'd be with her forever and I still love her deeply.

But I can see a benefit. Now I truly understand what's it's like for other people when they go through things like this. Before I didn't have the slightest idea. I wouldn't have even responded to this post.

So I really feel your pain. I would make a list of ways you're better off now. Even if you can only find one or two. When I did this I realized what I had couldn't have been true love because that endures. Seeing this was very helpful.

Not to mention that now my life is my own. My results are my own, and my happiness is my own. No hidden ties to outside sources left. It's kind of refreshing.

And who knows how things will turn out. She could come back to you with apologies two weeks from now, or maybe this event will cause a billion dollar idea to flash into your mind. Try to stay open and realize you cant know the hidden benefits that may be hiding in this seemingly sad situation.

Take care,
Andrew

[1960Texan]

Mike,

Sometimes the worst thing that can happen to a person's personal life winds up being the first step that leads to the best thing that happens to a person's life. Hang in there.

Will

[greenovni]

Really sorry to hear that. I personally know that having your kids ripped away from you kills you and changes you completely inside.

Keep your head up and fill the empty and lonely times with learning something new...

Don't let that depression get the best of you.

[RobinSkeen]

Mike, my heart hurts for you, especially with the holidays and the anniversary reminder. It seems a lot of us have been in a similar situation (including yours truly - single mom for a lot of years). No deep words of wisdom other than that time doesn't heal anything, but you do get better at dealing with it.

The only thing to keep utmost in your mind is that, although you and your wife MAY be done, you both are forever your children's parents. Seeing how easy you can make this for your children may be one way of getting through. All my best and my virtual shoulder is here if you need it.

[CDarklock]

Originally Posted by Mike Shain

My Biggest Business Obstacle Yet - Wife of 20 Years Left With The Twins & The Dog.

I'm in about the same boat. The woman I spent the last 14 years of my life with took the two kids and moved out a couple months ago.

You can get through this. It's not easy... but you can persevere, and get things back on track. I was pretty much destroyed for a month and a half, but I got myself back together eventually.

[winebuddy]

Well... try and have a Merry Christmas!

Seriously - someone told me a long time ago.... take care of your income and the others things will take care of themsleves.

Rings true sometimes - except this time of year.

[1TopGun]

Mike, you've received a lot of great advice from a lot of great people.

My two cents are #1. the 2 most important things you need to focus on right now more than anything else is taking care of both your physical and mental health.

Schizophrenia and depression can be serious risks if left unchecked.

Talk to several mental health professionals about the risks vs benefits of starting any anti-depressant therapy before you even consider doing so.

Unfortunately, I know from personal experiences they can, in certain circumstances, with certain individuals, actually make your depression and schizophrenia worse with disastrous consequences.

Consider some possible alternatives to any anti-depressant therapy such as changing your conscious and subconscious focus to things you have to be grateful for and things you have to be happy about. (thank you T. Robbins)

Try this..write down on a legal pad..."What do I have to be grateful for?" ... then list everything you can think of .....once your done go back and reread and think about everything you've listed.

Next, repeat the above process... only this time change the question to "What do I have to be happy about?" ...and repeat the entire process described above.

If your brain screams out "Nothing!" due to your present state of mind to either question....just change the question to "What do I have that I SHOULD be grateful/happy about?"

Do this morning and night for 30 days and I can tell you.. from personal experience.. and from teaching this to others...it will change your conscious and subconscious frame of mind from one of depression and unhappiness to one of happiness and gratitude.

No..it won't bring you kids and dog back...but it will help your mental state which will make everything else much easier to deal with.

Also, if you aren't doing so already, learn what you can about getting yourself as physically in the best shape and best health possible through your diet and exercise lifestyle...it is said a healthy body helps make a healthy mind.

You'll also feel better and more confident about yourself.. the healthier and better shape you get in..

Join a gym..a church..do some volunteer work...get around other people.

Arm chair quarterbacking is always easy when you're not the one going through it ...but I hope all the advice you've received here on this board helps in some way.

Take care and pull yourself out of this mental "funk" you're in. You CAN do it.

[Sissy76]

Echoing the sentiments above, I too urge you to make sure that your mental and physical health are kept as your main priorities during this heartbreaking time. Don't forget to take your medication!

Even though it's probably not what you really feel like doing, make sure you keep in touch with your friends and family and get out of the house regularly.

Morning walks with an early dose of melatonin from the sun (no matter how bright or dull) is one of the best defenses against depression and the blues, so get your walking shoes on, hold your head up and breathe in that early morning air! Organise to go for a walk with a friend or neighbour for extra support, it's great for your metabolism as well.

Life can be heartbreaking, painful and confusing, however make sure you focus on the present moment as much as possible. Don't become obsessed with the past or scared of what the future will hold, it will only lead you to miss the beauty of the here and now.

This will also be a painful and confusing time for your children, so you HAVE to keep yourself healthy and strong to support them through this tough time. Don't speak negatively about their mother to them, it's not a burden they should have to carry, just be there for them whenever they need their dad. Be that safe place for them, you are the only dad they have and keeping that relationship with them is the most important thing for them and you.


I wish you all the support and peace in the world and hope that you and your wife can remain good parents for your children, whatever may happen with your relationship.

All the best,
Sissy

[John M Kane]

Hi Mike,
Here is a post that might help you a bit.
It did for me.
Just One More Day... A short Story | SteveOdette.com

[sande]

Mike. How are you doing now? Been praying for you and wish you all the best.
Grace

[lawed]

I am very sorry that these traumatic events have come about for you. I am very dlad that you could muster the courage to post about this.

It is good to see all of the heartfelt repsonse on this woderful forum.

You provide hope and encouragement for me Mike. I have some challenges which have made my progress very slow for business. And knowing that you have been able to accomplish what you have done is an inspration for me.

My prayers are with you.

[ExRat]

Hi Mike,

If you do drop by this thread, please just drop a line here to let all us concerned warriors know that you're OK.

My Biggest Business Obstacle Yet

The biggest ones hold the biggest rewards on the other side - and you start getting that reward once you decide 'this will not beat me.' Best wishes.

[avandrunen]

Hey Mike,

I can't express how much my heart hurts for you, I could not imagine it if my wife did leave me.

My deepest prayers go out to you in this time of need. I most certainly agree with the others here that stated getting out and socializing face to face is one of the best things you could do, being a man of faith I would suggest a local church but to each their own.

As far as the mental issue you are having I strongly recommend you continue seeing a doctor. I have been dealing with depression for years and only a couple of months ago did I finally face up to the issue...it has been causing stress in my marriage. I am realizing that my mental state has prevented me from accomplishing the things that I wanted...now that I am on the path to recovery I finally see myself getting there.It will take time but I will get me back. If you see yourself going down this path seek professional help, medication if needed, it will help balance you out while a therapist gives you the tools to help in the future...I start therapy on Monday and can't wait.

I don't know if this rant will help, at the minimum add it to the list of those here who are reaching out to a fellow man in need and let that warm your heart...some of the people here exhibit the best that humanity has to offer by wanting to be there for someone they have only ever met online.

Seriously..if you ever need to chat..pm me...I do mean this...this is not one of those...call and we'll do coffee statements that is never meant.

Well, I have probably ranted on enough...God Bless
Adrian

[tush]

The best thing you can do for yourself is to build your business and look after yourself very well. Hang in there:-)

[Kevin Riley]

Mike

If it helps. I was the one who did the leaving. Left the house, kids, dog, pickup truck, all my records (gasp), tools, even kitchen sink to my ex. Walked away with two suitcases and came to live in Japan. Best thing ever!

I'm now with a wonderful wife who has been totally supportive of anything I do for 8 years now. She even works with me (it's she who does all the typing).

Things may look bleak now, but there's always another adventure just around the corner. Damn, life is good!

[grandstar]

how bad is schizophrenia? Is it treatable? Are there herbal treatments available that are effective?

[kevinfar]

take care of yourself mate.. things will get better, focus on what you want to achieve and not on the negative side of things. I've always found that to be helpful whenever life throws negatives my way.