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After you checkout my site rip it apart in this thread...

by Shannon Herod
3 replies
I Was a bit bored today so I decided I would try to redesign my site. I'm nowhere near a graphic artist, so I was wondering if you could tear this design apart for me. I spent the day (more like wasted today) putting this thing together, but I need to know if it is worthy to go public :-)

I figure no better opinion will matter than the opinion of yours... a true warrior.

Anyway, there's nothing for for sale on the page, it is simply a squeeze page, I would love your opinion.

Check it out here...

Http://BlogWithSuccess.com/optin2.html


I look forward to your remarks and criticism :-)

Shannon
#checkout #rip #site #tread
  • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
    Hi Shannon,

    I like it. It's clean and the video is good.

    The only comment that comes to mind is that you have a headline that states you only need to enter your first name and email addy, and then you show a last name as being required to fill the form out.

    What's up with that

    KJ
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  • Profile picture of the author Laura B
    Hi Shannon - I'll give it a go since I'm a graphic designer and proofreader from way back. The first thing I noticed is that the title, subtitle, first headline, and opt-in instructions are four different fonts. Then in the actual opt-in box and the Instant Access button there are two more fonts.

    You should probably try to get that 6 down to 2, or 3 at the very most. It will look more professional that way and less distracting. That would be a subconscious reaction in most people, and they probably wouldn't be able to tell you why it bothers them, but it still has an effect.

    The other things have to do with the copy: One is a redundancy - you don't need the word "in" after the word "enter." This occurs twice in the paragraphs below the arrow. The "P" in Wordpress should be capitalized. I would also capitalize the "We" in "We will not spam..."

    I know that seems like a lot, but actually it's simple and your page is not bad overall. Hope this helps!
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    • Profile picture of the author Shannon Herod
      Originally Posted by Laura B View Post

      Hi Shannon - I'll give it a go since I'm a graphic designer and proofreader from way back. The first thing I noticed is that the title, subtitle, first headline, and opt-in instructions are four different fonts. Then in the actual opt-in box and the Instant Access button there are two more fonts.

      You should probably try to get that 6 down to 2, or 3 at the very most. It will look more professional that way and less distracting. That would be a subconscious reaction in most people, and they probably wouldn't be able to tell you why it bothers them, but it still has an effect.

      The other things have to do with the copy: One is a redundancy - you don't need the word "in" after the word "enter." This occurs twice in the paragraphs below the arrow. The "P" in Wordpress should be capitalized. I would also capitalize the "We" in "We will not spam..."

      I know that seems like a lot, but actually it's simple and your page is not bad overall. Hope this helps!
      wow, thank you for all of the fantastic feedback.

      These are things I would never even dream of thinking about. So, I really appreciate the critique. It is amazing how different people can point out different things.

      To me, the different fonts did not bother me, but after you mentioned it I can see how it can be very distracting.

      Thank You very much for the critique... and I'm off to fix those right now

      Shannon :-)
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