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Critique this please

by Arlin Audrain
6 replies
Hi. I've decided that the reason I don't get many sales is that my landing pages aren't producers. Can some of you experienced warriors check out this site and give me some pointers? This is a landing page from an ezine article I wrote. If you can give me ideas, I'll try them and give feedback. Thanks. This could be good stuff for any other newbies too.
The ezine article is "Burning Fat-Three Keys" It's number one on its Google page by search.
It seems that Ezine Articles is critical of just sending someone to a sales page.
The site is | Fat Is Gone
#critique
  • Profile picture of the author Rick Johansson
    Your article headline needs to be changed to something more compelling. There's really nothing that jumps out, grabs me by the lapels, and forces me to read.

    Rick
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    • Profile picture of the author Arlin Audrain
      Thanks for the input.
      Question: I used the title because it was a suggested keyword from "Micro Niche Finder"
      and I knew it would get good placement on Google.
      In your opinion, which is best for traffic: Popularity on Ezine articles, or Google SEO
      Signature

      ALA

      Your Pro Golf Swing

      Living Without Fat

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  • Profile picture of the author JamesPenn
    First of all you need to change the title of your article.

    Something like 3 Keys To Literally MELT Fat From Your Body would be better.

    In terms of your landing page I'd make the links more prominent and maybe add some more graphics to the page to sustain attention. I became bored of the page within seconds.

    James
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    • Profile picture of the author Lance K
      There is no real call to action. There are 3 links (that I saw) on the page. One has "here's your link" as the anchor text. The other 2 seem to have keywords as anchor text. You're relying too much on your prospects figuring it out for themselves.

      You have to sell the click. Which requires a strong call to action (among other things).
      Signature
      "You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want."
      ~ Zig Ziglar
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      • Profile picture of the author ic7
        Some suggestions:

        1)A big red headline: The Real Reason You Are Out of Shape - It's Not What You Think

        2) The RSS link and the Photo Credit Links are holes in the bucket.

        3) Increase all text size.

        4) Get images of beautiful slim people at the beach. $5 bucks at Dreamstime.com

        5) Talk about benefits of being slim: freedom, confidence, mobility.

        6) Elaborate on this point from Sales Page: "How eating this tasty little dish late at night actually boosts the most powerful fat loss hormone in your body while you sleep the night away..."

        7) Call to Action: Click here and start changing your life. Get the real you back, the slim you. Just click on through. This program gave me my energy and freedom back. Click HERE and watch the free video.

        Hope this helps,

        Paul
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        Bookpumper.com - The Kindle Revolution
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