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How many clicks are you getting through from your first page to your second page?

I'm interested, because I found the second page - far better - than the first.

I find almost all of the first page copy boring. I get excited at the - end - of the first sales page. If I were reading for the product (and I do this in the niche) I would have clicked away before I got to the exciting parts.

You say 'give me 3 minutes' etc. It doesn't draw me in at all. Asking that is like saying: "Just give me a chance." Ain't gonna happen. Skip straight to the story and hook me in. Get STRAIGHT to the benefits, or the story.

"Before I get to that, I'm going to tell you a quick story." Um, why? Do you think your life events are interesting? I don't care.

Provide a reason for telling the story [DavidDeAngelo does this by saying he 'needs' to, to answer their question...which he of course asked for them]. ALL your story does is say - I can get girls, and my friend can't. That 'proof' is valuable. But if I think you're telling a story JUST to show me that...I'm gonna put up some resistance. (and if you can't even convince your FRIEND to go up to the girls...how could you help me?)

I found the story dull. There is little 'action' in it. I do not have many visuals flitting across my mind. It is not very concrete. I can see some rapport being gained with what the friend says, however.

You mention "being yourself" in the copy repeatedly. But, you only mention it near the end. I know that is a big hitting point. Mention it earlier on. Otherwise I might not even read that breath of fresh air.

Your header mentions "Single" - now that removes a lot of potential customers. Maybe you are specifically targeting them. But the market is hot enough that - even those who are not single - WANT MORE INFO.

"I'm sure you can relate to some degree" - Remove it. If they agree, they will be nodding along already. Otherwise - who are you to tell me I'm a loser? I don't have to listen to this! *click*

The biggest killer of the whole thing is telling me I have to do "whatever it takes for as long as it takes." That I have to be committed. !@#$ that ****. (Of course, I agree...but it's just not that great for sales...with the possible exception of the challenge)

[Also note: In your header you have the words "What You Can Do Right Now"...I'm assuming what they can do right now is make a decision to commit, though I can't recall if you actually stated it plainly. So, you are saying "come here instant gratification seekers" and then saying "don't be an instant gratification seeker" later]

"So which one are you going to be?" - That "throwing down the gauntlet" is good. But, it would be too late for me. I have clicked away. It's not very powerful either. Don't just ask me. Guide me.

Mention the PAIN of not being able to hold a woman. The PAIN of feeling unappreciated and acknowledged. The PAIN of seeing all the JERKS getting the girl and being blown off after ALL I DID FOR HER. The JOY of having a 'total 10' hanging on my arm at a party - in front of all my friends AND those jerks etc etc.

"Most Men Will SUCK At Meeting And Attracting Women For The REST OF THEIR LIVES... This Doesn't Have To Be You!"- Nice. But it is in the future. Are you a psychic? Make it in the present and more urgent. i.e. "Most Men SUCK At Meeting And Attracting Women For Their WHOLE LIVES...This Doesn't Have To Be You!" (You practically said this a couple of lines down, anyhow) - At this point and forward, I was drawn in fast.

I noticed you include "Even if You Aren't Tall, Rich or Handsome" in the title but you do not mention it - at all- in the actual header or body of the copy and thus...are not easing those concerns.

You mention secret reason in your copy body. Test out using that word in your headline. i.e. "Discover The Secret Reason"

"Remember how I earlier I quoted" - Just an extra - I - there I thought I'd point out.

"then WANTING it is not enough" - Another one. No need for then.

"The reason why you are single right now and lacking success with women is because [add: you] WANT success with women; you are not COMMITTED to it."

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Second page: I love the header, I love the benefits, I love the section explaining paypal. It DREW ME IN. But, with the bonuses you don't mention their individual value before you mention their total value. So I'm left relying on your dubious powers of arithmetic.

It is late, so I didn't completely read the second page, and haven't said everything I want to about the first. But it HOOKED ME, unlike the first page...which I actually had to put in some effort to read.

So - to summarize: The first 3/4 of the first page almost had me fall asleep, apart from the times I objected to being told a story I didn't care about, the insinuation that I was socially inept and being told I have to do "whatever it takes, however long it takes," and putting up all my inner concerns that are for the most part not successfully succumbed.

What a great headline that you've here.

"Shut The Door, Turn Off Your Cell Phone And Make Sure That NOBODY Is Watching... "

It builds curiosity in me right after reading this

As another poster mentioned, DYD clones are a dime a dozen. Maybe it's because I'm not in your market (happily married and monogamous for over 28 years), but I got bored before I got to the fold.

If I were to be looking for a dating guide, I'd be looking for pictures of the gorgeous women I want, not some serious guy looking down his nose at me.

I didn't notice any opt-in box - are you capturing names? If so, how many messages are you sending? I signed up for the DYD list as a research project - at last count I have 299 emails in the folder.

If you want an ad to model, get hold of just about any skin mag from the mid to late 70s. There was an outfit that ran very expensive paid ads for years selling what it appears you are offering. The headline was something to the effect of "Get any Woman to Do Anything You Want". Under that was a photo of an attractive woman in the act of undressing while looking you straight in the eye (tasteful, at least for the medium, unbuttoning a blouse, unzipping jeans, etc.). The copy promised a series of simple techniques that were almost hypnotic in their power to get women to like you, date you, and...

Like I say, those ads ran for years in magazines that charged 5 figures (in 70s dollars) for a quarter page ad. The price point was $19.95, plus 75 cents postage. I'd also bet they had a killer back end to the funnel, although I couldn't say as I never bought the book.

Just a suggestion...

Sometimes its better to copy a successful promotion from another time or medium than it is to copy the current big dog...

Hi LifestyleTrans,

It is a brave thing to entering into a such crowded niche jam packed with many many excellent names and products.

I saw your pages.

You know, the phylosopher's stone isn't with me. But I've experienced, only imitating big name's product isn't enough to survive -- what is more to win in that field.

Fortunately, you've got a goldmine of useful advices above. I don't want to repeat them. You may learn a lot. I'd like only add that if someone want to be succed, he need to be unique.

If I were you, I'd develop them according to the advices. I believe, you can build a better site if you apply them.

Wishing you an effective work,

Sandor

1. You need a USP (Unique Selling Proposition). If you've modelled your sales process after Double Your Dating, then why should someone buy your book instead of theirs? You need to show people why your product is different from all the other dating products out there. What are you teaching that nobody else is? What makes you especially qualified to teach it?

2. I agree that "Creating Success With Women" is too generic and vague. You could get away with that if you were already someone with a lot of credibility in the niche, but as an unheard of, you should go with something more catchy.

3. Unless you already know a big name in this niche who will vouch for you, you need to be willing to spend some time building up credibility. Most of the people who've launched successful products in this area didn't start out selling products. They started out posting on "how to pick up chicks" forums for free and gained a following that way, so that when they did eventually come out with a product, people were already interested.

You can still use more traditional marketing avenues like press releases and publicity, but at the end of the day, guys are still going to want proof that you can a) get hot girls yourself. b) teach them how to get hot girls.

I checked out your Vancouver site and watched a video. At least you are walking the walk when it comes to dating, seduction, etc. Well done. It looks like you could be on to something if you can get your name and brand out there.

Your approach reminds me of a famous pickup artist named Mystery. He did a lot of video of real, live pickup techniques. I think you are onto something by recording your boot-camp members applying the techniques in real time. It educates and entertains at the same time.

Undoubtedly, the more video you get out there (Youtube, etc), the better off you're going to be. It's all about branding.

Best of luck

You need to add more attractive graphics.

Submit it to Clickbank rather than selling on E-junkie so as to get more affiliates to promote your product.

Good Luck.

Another big thing that would help (no one mentioned yet) is Video. Video rules. Either do a vid yourself or make a Camtasia type of video that reveals the problem men have getting a date. Make it a unique "commercial" and you will have more likelihood of people noticing what you have to offer. Don't forget to include a call to action.

Overall, I agree with many of the posters here that this is a very saturated market.

Second best thing is to research all your competition's websites. See how polished and crappy the sites are, including landing pages and opt-ins. There is no better way by copying that latest style on the dating sites currently up.

Click on the Google Adwords ads too. They are paying big money for clicks but you can further your research by taking a good look and studying how they present their sites. This is all "free" education....

Hope that helps.

I've been in the uber-competitive dating niche now for over 5 years and I've coached people on how to break into this crazy azz niche in the past (no longer). The first thing I can tell you is your sales copy is weak. I would get a professional to rework it. Secondly, a $19 price point for your book is fine IF you have a series of products that will follow it. Notice that all the major players in this niche have a LINE of products and/or seminars and/or boot camps. If you're going the PPC route this is not an option, you've got to have a comprehensive back-end strategy.

Good luck.

Keep in mind that some people that give testimonials want the name shown that way, not everyone is comfortable giving their first and last name publicly. After tons of eyeball testing in this niche, most people don't pay attention to the name after the testimonial. It really doesn't matter. Powerful and persuasive sales copy and/or videos and/or audio goes a long way.

RoD

You have a good point regarding the looks issue, but it could work the other way too, where prospects figure "Well, if he's good looking, then he must be a chick magnet, so he probably knows what he's talking about..."

It's like if you were releasing a product in the make money online niche, and up until a few years ago, you were waiting tables at Denny's, and now you're a multi-millionaire, you can highlight the fact that you were just a regular guy/girl who hit it big online (ie: Anybody can do this). But on the other hand, if you've been running successful businesses offline for 30 years, and you've had successful online businesses for 10 years (ie: You have tons of business experience), you can highlight that angle in your marketing. The average Joe or Jane might not be able to relate to running successful businesses for decades, but the fact that you've got lots of experience and you know your stuff inside and out can make up for it (and you can still relate to them on other levels).

So you can still take something that might have been perceived as a negative and present it in a way that it's seen as a positive.

I found it amusing that someone in the dating/seduction niche is counseling you away from it because it's too crowded. There's probably more to be said on that, but it got me thinking.

The "generic" topic of dating/seduction with women might be crowded, but are there subniches you could establish? "How to meet women at work", "How to meet women in public places", "How to meet women at ______"? Dunno what the relevance is for people searching for that type of specificity, but you probably have a better handle on that that most of us do.

Another ide that came to mind focused on "the list". You don't have a signup form that I saw, but once you have one, one way to get people to sign up would be an email 'mini bootcamp' with new tips or parts of your book going out every day to people. I've seen a job search product that does this - basically giving you a new task every day or two, referencing that more specific 'how tos' are in the full ebook.

Good luck!