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Is this landing page up to snuff?

by Neromancer
19 replies
I wanted some opinions - what do you think? I want this to work
in the free traffic niche - so some of the harvests are from
click-for-traffic sites. I have used other versions during split
testing but I wanted warriors to have a look too:

The Google Traffic Pump System (Make Money Online Using FREE Google Tools)

Thanks
Mike aka Neromancer
#landing #page #snuff
  • Profile picture of the author HealthBuff
    Hi there

    Run your webpage thru

    The W3C Markup Validation Service

    to pick up coding errors.

    Best wishes
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  • Profile picture of the author Rob Holmes
    I Like it, some cool looking graphics.
    The only thing i noticed was that the curved corners are missing from the top of the main content area.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kezz
    I like it too, but one thing that did jump out at me was that no one thing jumped out at me. A lot of the text is similarly sized, and there are two red text areas, so I kind of didn't know where I ought to look first.

    I would think about perhaps making your main hook bigger and brighter than the rest of the text, and creating a little space around it too. Then you can get the reader's attention and lead them through the rest of the copy from there.

    Hope that helps, and good luck with the campaign!
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  • Profile picture of the author Nathi Fakudze
    No Wow factor but Awesome graphics
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  • Profile picture of the author TheChimp
    Totally agree with the lack of the "wow" factor. I would try to put your footer graphic as a header, then put your opt-in box and call to action underneath that, followed by all of your text below.

    Not bad though!
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  • Profile picture of the author Joe808
    Very Nice! I really like it and it drove me in very well. It's really awesome that it's free too! Very well written.
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  • Profile picture of the author warrior4life
    For me your web page looks great. Just drive massive traffic to it and it will do the job. Well done!
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  • Profile picture of the author Brian Tayler
    Make your call to action stand out a little better, otherwise it looks good!
    Signature
    .-=-.

    .-=-.
    X81MBTp
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  • Profile picture of the author Ronak Shah
    I find the text needs to be organized and edited.

    The text that starts with:

    No seminars to ... is really small in font size. Increase its font size.

    You also need to put that in bullet points.

    I think the headline is cool. I still believe it could get better.

    Overall, I am not in awe of the page because it looks scattered. The font size is quite small.

    It does not make me focus only on the main benefit as the other text distracts my mind too much. The whole page looks very dis-organized to me.

    Its just because of your headline that I will stay on the page. How are you helping me gain 69,456 hits? What is the "value proposition"?

    But did you realize, you are not building trust with your readers?

    How are you connecting with your readers and gaining their trust?

    Where are the actual features of your offer? What are the real benefits apart from the main benefit? There are not enough benefits (reasons why I must subscribe to your list).

    Who is your real target customer? For whom have you created this landing (opt-in) page? Not all Internet marketers would be interested in your offer so who specifically is the individual and what is his character/behavior?

    If the buyer is kind of desperate to get traffic, he might opt-in. What about the others? the curious, skeptical & picky ones?

    How do you appeal to them?

    People today are very picky and they don't just give you their primary email address without validating your offer.

    I'll be frank. The page does not convince me to put my name and email address except the headline which does a lot of good. You still need to re-arrange your headline. The headline is what forces me to opt-in but when I try to read your page it sounds phoney to me. It sounds really fishy!

    The graphics are awesome anyway. But graphics can never convert your opt-in page.

    It's copy that converts visitors into leads that counts.

    People like to know who's newsletter they are subscribing to. Where is your name and signature at the bottom of your page?

    The opt-in box is placed without drawing any STRONG attention towards itself. The graphics does draw attention towards your opt-in box but your copy does not direct them to put in their name and email address. Maybe because of the font size and the text seems placed at an unusual place.

    Bottomline: There is not enough sales copy that persuades me to put in my name and email address. Every individual has a variety of reasons (benefits) because of which they are forced to subscribe. Where are they?

    If you found my words to be harsh, I'm sorry. I'll be realistic to help you.

    I hope that helps. Thanks.
    Signature
    I AM YOUR Direct Response Ninja Kick-Ass Sales Copywriter.

    Now, Here's The REAL DEAL:
    Either I make YOU at least 10 times of what I charge YOU OR
    I'll Write YOUR Sales Copy AGAIN Till YOU Make MUCH MORE Than THAT. Guaranteed*.
    *Terms & Conditions Apply. Email me at ronak[at]ronakshah[dot]name right now.
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    • Profile picture of the author butters
      Actually I will add one more thing to this which screams BS to me, if you can get 69k targeted traffic in 15 mins, lets say you work 5 hours a day... Thats 1.7 million targeted people in 5 hours, why on earth would you be selling this product? If you can send 1.7 million people to a webpage in 5 hours which are highly targeted and with no PPC then your a genious and a extremly rich one at that. If you knew how to do it then you wouldn't make a product, you wouldn't even be on this forum. You would be using this system to earn you millions. Let me just break it down to you in maths.

      1,7 million per 5 hours, lets say you convert at 2% on a $37 product, that means your earning 1.2million per 5 hours. Come on...
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      • Profile picture of the author Ronak Shah
        Yes, its true. Squeeze pages with almost no copy do convert.

        I do claim that your page will convert no doubt.

        I am really apprehensive whether you will be able to convert it better.

        Originally Posted by butters View Post

        Actually I will add one more thing to this which screams BS to me, if you can get 69k targeted traffic in 15 mins, lets say you work 5 hours a day... Thats 1.7 million targeted people in 5 hours, why on earth would you be selling this product? If you can send 1.7 million people to a webpage in 5 hours which are highly targeted and with no PPC then your a genious and a extremly rich one at that. If you knew how to do it then you wouldn't make a product, you wouldn't even be on this forum. You would be using this system to earn you millions. Let me just break it down to you in maths.

        1,7 million per 5 hours, lets say you convert at 2% on a $37 product, that means your earning 1.2million per 5 hours. Come on...
        It does look like a scam. I am speaking the truth. I second Butters thoughts because you require to prove you're a genuine individual out there to HELP your subscribers with quality information. You've to prove you're authentic and your claim is genuine.

        Remember, when you make a claim in front of your visitors you must validate it with proof. Where's the proof?

        Demonstrate you can definitely do what you claim and you will get a surge of visitors ready to subscribe to your newsletter.

        Even a video on that page would do wonders. You've no direct response copywriting done with precision.

        Another truth, I am subscribed to at least 300 Internet marketers. I don't read all of them. I read only a few. How do you guarantee from your landing page copy that they will read each and every email you send them? Where is the USP? There is none.

        I still think the page requires improvements. Quite many. No kidding, I'm serious.
        Signature
        I AM YOUR Direct Response Ninja Kick-Ass Sales Copywriter.

        Now, Here's The REAL DEAL:
        Either I make YOU at least 10 times of what I charge YOU OR
        I'll Write YOUR Sales Copy AGAIN Till YOU Make MUCH MORE Than THAT. Guaranteed*.
        *Terms & Conditions Apply. Email me at ronak[at]ronakshah[dot]name right now.
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        • Profile picture of the author butters
          Originally Posted by Paul McQuillan View Post

          I just looked through a bunch of winning squeeze
          pages I keep on file for reference...

          not one had "proof"

          7 out of 10 were 'over the top' and all of them were
          successful.

          Squeeze pages are a different animal than a sales page,
          it is much easier for someone to 'risk' an email than some
          dollars.

          split test it
          How many of them were before the new FTC regulations?
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          • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
            I don't know why people can't do any research before replying to something like this but I did and this is crap and could land you in a whole heap of hot water.

            Internet searching giant [COLOR=blue ! important][COLOR=blue ! important]Google[/COLOR][/COLOR] sues companies that allegedly use its brand to lure unwitting users into a fraudulent scheme that leaves them out of pocket. The perpetrators pretend to help people earn money at home and trick them into paying for supposed work-at-home kits advertised online and in e-mails. The main defendants in the lawsuit is against Pacific WebWorks while other defendants remain unnamed as the lawsuit can be amended to add the names of additional defendants as they are uncovered.

            Google sues Pacific WebWorks alleging trademark infringement and dilution, unfair competition, federal cyberpiracy, and violation of consumer sales practices.


            This company names is actually the one responsible for my beginning in this field. So I owe them a big thank you and am so glad google is after them. but notice the things above trademark infringement. Huge deal there. and your doing it.

            This was an offer in the classified section as well so the reason for posting this appears to be nothing more then a ploy to get others sucked in sorry you FAIL! and if i were you I would rip that down and come up with something else. without the google name makes no difference of your little disclaimer what matters is their name your using.
            -WD
            Signature

            "As a man thinks in his heart so is he-Proverbs 23:7"

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          • Profile picture of the author Ronak Shah
            Originally Posted by Paul McQuillan View Post

            None of them promised riches... all are fine with FTC
            regulations.

            Do you know FTC regulations and how they pertain to this?
            FTC regulations require you to prove your claims / results achieved by you.

            Well, I could come out with another opt-in page headline that reads:

            Learn How I Get 1,000,000 Unique Visitors In 60 minutes Flat To My Website From Google!
            So that too without any proof on my opt-in page... so that would do just fine according to Paul even if I cannot back it up with real substance.

            or even if it sounds fishy!

            According to Paul, FTC regulations don't require you to prove your claims.

            Well, Paul knows better than the FTC guys themselves. Here's the FTC regulations link for all our beloved warriors: FTC Publishes Final Guides Governing Endorsements, Testimonials

            Here's another by John Cow the man himself:

            New FTC Regulations? You Absolutely Must Read This! | Johncow.com

            John Cow states:
            First off, there's the matter of endorsements. The FTC specifically states that endorsements must reflect the honest opinions, findings, beliefs, or experience of the endorser. This part may sound pretty straightforward, but how they define that 'honesty' has some big ramifications about how you can write your sales copy or other advertising or promotion pieces.
            The big term that the FTC is using is "substantiation of representations conveyed". What this means is that you've got to be able to prove (and back up) any claims you make. Which I've always told you to do, but what's changed is what they consider proof. While I've always used real examples for my proof, I (and everybody else) would naturally pick the best results out of the bunch to highlight. It's a natural thing to do.
            But now, no longer can you say, about a weight loss product, for example, "Lose 20 pounds in 2 weeks!" just because one of your customers did. Now, any claims you make have to be representative of the average experience of the user, not the exceptional ones. And you can't just cover your butt with a "results not typical" disclaimer, either - the FTC has deemed that "disclaimers did not adequately reduce the communication that the experiences depicted are generally representative." In English, that means that even if you say that results are not typical in small print, it doesn't change the fact that you're giving the impression in the big giant headline that everyone could lose 20 pounds in 2 weeks.
            I am sorry Paul, sincerely. I have to disagree with you respectfully.

            FTC does not allow online marketers to make claims they cannot prove irrespective of whether it's leading to a sale or a lead. More or less, it's unethical and does not encourage long term business to take place in real life.

            It's a landing page after all. I appreciate you but I think this time I won't be able to agree with you here.

            I'll say as it is.

            I'll say this in another way with a positive outlook.

            If you've proof, your opt-in page will work quite better than when you don't have proof.             Proof always comes on the face. People trust proof. No one can deny that.

            I think the OP must benefit because he is the real owner of this thread. Keeping that in mind, I'll conclude:

            People like to subscribe to genuine people's mailing list more than someone who has no substance. That's the truth no one can agree any less.

            Thanks a ton. Have a Happy New Year Paul, Butters and all my fellow warriors! Have a great life! Enjoy your life!
            Signature
            I AM YOUR Direct Response Ninja Kick-Ass Sales Copywriter.

            Now, Here's The REAL DEAL:
            Either I make YOU at least 10 times of what I charge YOU OR
            I'll Write YOUR Sales Copy AGAIN Till YOU Make MUCH MORE Than THAT. Guaranteed*.
            *Terms & Conditions Apply. Email me at ronak[at]ronakshah[dot]name right now.
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          • Profile picture of the author butters
            Originally Posted by Paul McQuillan View Post

            None of them promised riches... all are fine with FTC
            regulations.

            Do you know FTC regulations and how they pertain to this?
            FTC regulation stop false claims, he is claiming something, he has to proove it.
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  • Profile picture of the author butters
    Google is going to slap you left right and center, possibly even take legal action against you just for using google in the title. The product looks spammy, specially the claim at the bottom. "Targeted google traffic in 15 mins" From my experience, google doesn't work that fast. The biggest thing which worries me on the landing page is the term "Hits", I could get 100000000 in 10 mins if I kept on refreshing the page with lots of images on, hits are completely useless and I feel by using that term you loose all creditability.

    So I signed up to the "news letter", I thought, why not, lets see... No news letter just an upsell, whats the point in offering a newsletter if you are not going to give them the first one when they opt in. That is the point of a news letter isn't it, so once again you have miss lead the person to thinking, cool I'm gonna get a news letter when all they got was an upsell.

    The landing page is to cluttered, what happened to K.I.S.S.? The first reaction I got when I looked at this page was "SCAM" or "Garbage" because of the claims on it and what is said. Let me tell you what made me think of them words... This is what made me think "SCAM" Google traffic in 15 mins with no PPC... and the garbage came to mind when you use the word "hits", by then I was gone .

    Hope this helped.
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