Please review my first website

server not found.

Not got time to review, but your link is cream-crackered. Here, use this one...

Welcome To Expand Your Soapbusiness

You need to re-edit your post. Take out 'http://' from the [URL] tags, you only need one.

Adrian

Fixed the link it should work now

First, get rid of the GoDaddy banner.

The site looks neat. But, you seem to be leaving two blank lines in between paras. Remove the extra line.

Remove the line that says $7. Looks amatuerish.

Although, I didn't read the whole copy (don't have time) it looked good when I skimmed through it.

To sum it up, nice site.

Sumit

I don't think it is possible to remove the godaddy banner unless I opt for the paid hosting. så it'll have to be next week or so

Sincerely
Henrik Poulsen

The first sentence needs a question mark at the end. There are several spelling errors as well. I think proper spelling and grammar are crucial. Overall the site looks good!

Hi Henrik,

The following is only my opinion, and I'm only trying to help.

1. What is your headline? The bold black text at the top is too long for a lead in to a headline. The red text looks more like a sub-headline when compared to the first block of text.

2. Whichever one is your headline, it needs to be better. It doesn't "grab" the reader. A little trick I use is to start the headline with a verb. It automatically puts it into a more active voice.

3. Get rid of the larger letters at the start of each paragraph, they are distracting. If you like, use one for the first paragraph of the main body. (As long as that paragraph is at least three lines long).

4. The bullet points should start with something other than "I will..." You are telling them what's inside, not what you are going to do.

5. Overall, the sales copy needs improvement. Pretend you are a potential customer, then after each sentence ask yourself "so what?". Your readers want to know what's in it for them.

6. There are a few spelling and grammar errors.

7. The subhead that reads "Absolutely Free Of Charge!" will most likely be viewed as intentionally misleading or confusing. I understand what you were trying to do there, but it will probably drive away many more buyers than it will pull in.

Those are the few things I noticed when going over your site. Again, please take the above in the spirit of constructive criticism.

All the best,
Michael

The sales page itself is OK..BUT please change the domain name. The dashes just don't look professional. Also get a decent host so you don't get that godaddy ad on top. Hostgator is good.

It is pretty well set up for your first website, I agree with the above that you should invest in your own hosting to get rid of the banner ads.

I like it besides the Godaddy banner at the top. Makes me wonder how your "selling" something, but you can't afford basic web hosting.

Thank you all for you comments.

I have moved the website to a paid host, så hopefully I can avoid the godaddy banner.

I have cleaned up the copy and layout a bit.

I am pretty plesed with the site at the moment. but would love more comments

redetail

Since the site has only been up a few days and I haven't marketed it yet I have had absolutely no success what so ever

But today I start forum marketing the site, so perhaps It will get some response

If you can.... get more testimonials with photographs...

presell the customer a little bit.. list down the prblems they might have, (and then offer the solution.. i.e. your ebook)

Hey Henrik

I didn't read the whole thing in detail but I did spot 2 things that I regarded as howlers:

1. Soapbusiness is not one word. That threw me from the get-go. I didn't have a clue what the site was about because I was too busy trying to work out if I had got through 44 years on this planet without learning what a "soapbusiness" is.

2. The section on the price justification is very, very weak. For example, inferring that more people will read it because it costs something just doesn't stack up.

I hope this helps.

Cheers,

Neil

Hey Henrik

Not sure if English is your first language.

But that closing paragraph, by starting with "seriously" infers that your reader at this point does not believe what you have said and you're now trying to convince them you're telling the truth.

Car salesman
Madam, this car has had one careful owner and has travelled only 10,000 miles in 10 years.

Old lady
Are you kidding? That can't possibly be true!

Car salesman
Seriously madam, I AM telling you the truth. Honest engine!

Cheers,

Neil

WOW I just made my first sale

Its only a few hours since I uploaded the site, and put up a few forum posts

Hello Hendrik,

Kudos on creating the website, as many do not get this far in the IM world.

Congratulations on your first sale.

GoDadddy will give you a free domain, if you order and pay for one-years hosting.

Look for coupons using Google and GoDaddy Coupons ... or promotions.

To do SEO for your site, add 4 to 6-pages and then do some linking to get ranking.

Right now a series of original articles could drive some targeted traffic to your site.

All the Best to You in 2010

Your site is visually pleasing. I didn't read the text as I'm just not interested in making soap, but it looks very good from a purely visual perspective - especially for your first attempt.

I'm guessing that you don't care that the images you've sold are copyrighted?