How to get free mentoring.

Obvious action-taking and a go-getter attitude.

That's the first thing I look for - do they appear to really want to succeed?

Definitely. If I get a sob story and look around and nada...no go. But if I look around and see someone who's downloading every single thing and flitting from business model to business model, I'm way more apt to lend a hand getting them up and running.

Hi Brad,

Interesting thread.

I would like to add my own observations if I may to what you are saying.

If you are some one who needs guidance and help, it's important to remember two things:

1. Nobody owes you anything
2. No single person has the answer to every question

I am some one who has desperately needed a mentor in the past and still do today (in fact, especially today as I make some big transitions in my life). Like many people, I really could not afford the thousands of dollars some of these mentors were charging, plus, I wanted some one who would help me because they wanted to, and were not just doing it because they were being paid to. Personally, I feel like the mentor/mentee is quite a close and personal relationship, and thus was not something I wanted to or could afford to purchase.

My approach has been (as Brad has suggested) interact with people who I know are smarter, sharper and more experienced than me. From old manager's at previous jobs, to old academic teachers, and business people online and offline, I have done my best to network with people who were sharper than me. I have done my best over this last year to network with, and create a circle of friends that I can count on if I need advice.

This wasn't something I did purposefully, but more of a happy coincidence. I have always appreciated the importance of surrounding yourself with the right kind of people and have always made an effort to network with people. As a result I had a list of contacts whom I could call on should I need advice and guidance. And if there was something they needed, they could call on me too if I am able to help them! As a result, I have never had the need for one single mentor, or never had to approach some one directly and specifically for mentoring (I tell a small lie, I contacted one Warrior here specifically for advise, got it and I like to think now we have become friends as a result).

Before I conclude this waffle of a post, I'll add remember my first point. No one owes you anything, so don't approach people with an attitude of entitlement. Always try and offer something in the relationship either directly or indirectly. Perhaps you don't have money to pay, but you might have a skill set like article writing or php development that your mentor does not have. Offer to do some free work for some of their time and advise on a couple of issues you are having. Add value, bring something to the table and people will feel compelled to reciprocate.

Network, build good relationships and surround yourself with the kind of people who are in the places and positions you want to be in.

Just my 2 cents anyway, but it has really worked for me, and I am really pleased to say I have made some good friends through this approach and feel I have access to some quality thinking and insights should I ever want or need it. I like to think as well, I have something to offer them as well in terms of my own insights, experiences and skills.

This happened to me with one guy...he even had the audacity to get angry with me when I didn't have time for him one night. (He was single, 24, blah blah blah, I have a family, kids, blah blah blah.)

After he cleaned his a&& up off the floor, I decided I'd definitely be more picky when it came to free coaching.

I've been somewhat looking for a mentor for years, off an on, trying to get an idea of what I'm going to do.

I think I have more "Mentors" on the WF here than anywhere else. Thanks to my discussions I've got people in high places with expertise who have no problem answering a question when I may have it concerning something small or to please elaborate on a post they made.

I've got a mentor in the offline area in a way, he's been helping me along with many things over the past week, and its been a great blessing.

This is for any newbie, noob, new person, etc, to this forum and online marketing:

Make good, solid, information filled posts. If you can't, ask good solid questions. When the folks of this forum see you are truly serious, they will gladly pay you some attention if you ask for it.

Shoot, a year ago most people wouldn't have paid me no heed, but I changed that with solid and powerful interaction on the forum here. Don't be afraid to sound stupid with a specific question (just make sure your answer isn't already here in the forum.)

Also, PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT RESPECTED MEMBERS SAY IN THIS FORUM.

You may be wanting to pay thousands for this persons time, but they are giving away GOLD for free in their posts more often than not. Steven Wagenheim and AP are two examples that pop right into my mind.

Just a little something to think on,

-Sean

Hi Brad,

Hmm I have a reverse problem I get pm's and emails for crying out loud requesting jv's products etc. I just don't even respond now. that is an answer in itself. lol

One thing I know about you is your a very social fellow with a good heart basically what I hear you saying is get to know me before even trying to get me to mentor or help you. . I would have thought that would be common sense but more and more common sense seems not too common

Anyhoo great post I fully agree show some respect and interest before trying to capitalize on your success and if I know you they wouldn't even have to if you saw they were trying you would probably give them a heads up with some things . Relationship man it is all about relationship
-Wd

Great advice. I get alot of people that hit me up for free relationship coaching and I dont have enough time to help them all for free. That is why I got into the IM arena in the first place. Be able to reach more and free up my time.

But I do my best to help those that follow me or interact with me online using facebook, youtube, twitter, etc.

I'd like someone to help me about IM.

But, as I don't like having to babysit other people through web development questions - I'd think other people will not like to babysit me through IM either.

Now that I've mentioned it, if I'm willing to help other people through web devs problems - I'd think other people will be more willing to guide me back on IM too.

I'll have to think about this more.

I have coached and trained for years, and the thing I know is that those who want to learn will. Those who want it spoon fed, packaged, or abc'd are those who don't actually even understand what coaching is.

Coaching is subtle. It is guiding you to learn to succeed for yourself. It is suggesting, challenging, asking questions, leading people to their own conclusions through building their knowledge and their thought processes.

It is not "do x, then y then z". That is called a help desk.

These are all excellent points of view on the topic...thanks for your insight.

As a Newbie, I was/am looking for someone in which I can follow and learn from. Yes I will make mistakes and loss money (which I have) I know that upfront and accept it. But having someone to bounce Ideas off of or strategies goes a long way. The point made about building relationships is bang on, at my day "job" (sorry bad word around here J ) this is the most important part of it, and without happy and satisfied clients I add no value to them. This is done by getting to know them - what they need, like and dislike.

The confusing part for me with the IM industry is that there are so many products and services that you actually don't know which way to turn. I have bought lots of products, read e-books but it seems that every time I pick up another... they lead you into a different direction, which is my frustration or they do not tell you the whole story and leave out key elements. Any way, sorry for this small expression of how I feel.

This is the reason I have joined this forum to learn and to follow those who have been in my situation before. I beleive I need to educate myself, model others that have the expertise and repeat.


Dave

Micromentor.org

I could use help but I'm not going to go scrounging around for coaching. I want to be able to do this on my own. Aside from a question every once in a while on how to do something a little better as a result of a discussion in here, I've been doing it on my own.

Truth is, I'm struggling a lot but that goes with the territory.

I don't have money to pay for mentoring and if I did, I probably wouldn't need their help. Only way I would ever accept help is if I had something of value for them, whether it's something I have done already (which isn't much) or some work I could do.

I can understand a lot of the asking for free help, though. Desperate people looking at all these success stories around here who keep talking about how easy it is to make real money think that maybe if they are given a little help they could do it as well. They don't realize how much of a commitment that is from you. All they know is that you say it is easy to do. The truth is, the stuff you offer in your sigs and products you sell have helped create that monster.

I don't blame you successes out there for not taking on free mentoring and coaching jobs, though. I probably wouldn't take on any free mentoring jobs either. Most of the time they are probably wanting you to do all the work for them or hold their hand all the way. After you extend a bit of yourself to them they become disinterested because of the amount of work involved, the amount of money it takes (except for bum marketing) and how long it takes to see any money coming in. For the most part it seems that it would take a lot of work on your part for nothing (literally).

Hey Brad, How come you didnt tell me this before I started hassling you for help ? lol

Its true though, I have started getting help requests too . I want to help people but I do feel people are looking for the quick fix ( i know how it feels Ive felt like that too ) but there isnt quick fixes, just hard hard work and long hours

I agree that one should have personally tried something and persisted really hard first before crying for help and sympathy from someone successful.

He/She should understand that everyone's time is valuable.
He/She should search for the answers first before sending a PM or email, as it might be unnecessary if the 1st page of google provides the answers.

The best way to get "free" mentoring is by befriending big IM'ers. You will still have to invest your time and energy by helping them out and sharing stuff but you will get it back tenfold. It's completely different when you get something because the person just wants to share it to you than when you pay for mentoring.

I think some people have a warped sense of what a mentor is or does...

A good mentor wont lay out your business for you step by step like a paint by numbers course. What they will do is be a sounding board. Put you back on track when you stray

Someone you can trust to look over your work and and make suggestions on how to improve it.

Someone who can introduce you to the right people if you show promise

There a guiding light..not a lecturer

For example one of my support people is finally taking the plunge and creating a product... he sent me the pdf report hes going to use to build a list around the subject he chose.

It was pretty good except the call to action at the end was weak (probably as weak as i have ever seen) I rewrote it for him...

He immediately saw the difference, its a lesson he will never forget again

Robert

some people are just like that, they will ask someone that they totally dont know for help, once they get the answer, they never talk to you again, and even worse, not even a thank u. Not good at all

I am not a big fan of giving away mentoring - it's not that I don't want to, it just has not turned out well when I have done it...I believe for a few reasons:

1. Your client is in the wrong mindset to begin with. To be successful, you need to begin with an unstoppable belief in your ability to succeed! What that means is that a) You must have confidence in your own ability to ask the right questions and pick the right mentor and b) Know that you can turn that information and action into BIG success. If you are thinking that way - do you really believe you would ask for that infromation free?

Think about it - does the person or company that wants to dominate their market go out and start with free hosting, free autoresponders, etc...? No - they look for the best platforms on top of which to build their dream.

Unfortunately, it has taken me MANY lost hours to come to this conclusion, but lesson learned.

2. I can't afford to help someone as well as if I charged for the information. I can spend an hour developing content or building my own business and earn thousands from that hour of work - on the other hand, giving away that hour is ok IF it doesn't completely outbalance those hours I spend earning or with my own family. What many people do not understand about coaching though is it is VERY time consuming. When I help someone build their business I treat it as if it were my own. That means hours of market analysis, hours of planning, hours of content development, hours of testing, etc... Yes, I can make my coaching more guidance driven, but the fact remains there is still a great deal of work goes into a mentorship relationship.

All of that said, since I sell many products into different niches where I get requests for coaching, mentorship, follow-up questions - what I have done is created two different levels of mentorship - a 1:1 program for those that have the right success mindset and time to grow fast, and a more cookie-cutter, pre-developed program with some personal support on the lower end where people can still get mentoring, but on a more controlled basis for pennies a day...next best thing to being free.

Jeff

My absolute favorite request for mentoring was from a WF newbie about a year ago - he emailed me his "plan".

I would mentor him - and in exchange he would pay me 35% of his NET earnings for 3 months. (He explained to me what "net" referred to...)

In exchange for this magnanimous offer, it was to be understood that I would be available throughout the day at LEAST 5 days a week by email and skype and would answer any questions within the hour.

He listed what he wanted to learn (which ignored many of the basics we all have to know) and said he would "give" ME six weeks to get him started in IM and I should understand that if he was not earning sufficiently in six weeks I would not be paid. The email was long, detailed and listed all of the things I would be "expected" to provide to him. He assured me he was serious and could work hard for up to 25 hrs a week to get started.

My jaw dropped. Then I laughed for about 10 minutes. I decided I didn't even want to "teach" him how ridiculous his "offer" was. I just emailed him - "thanks, but I don't do mentoring". Always wondered how many people he asked before giving up.

He was only on the WF for a couple weeks - wonder why?

kay

OT - but I gotta get some hot chicks in my avatar, I think it builds credibility.

This forum is a prime example of one of the most dynamic ways to get "free" mentoring -- Mastermind Groups. They come in all shapes and sizes, virtual and in-person, one-time and going on for years.

IF we consciously put ourselves into an environment where some folks are more accomplished in certain areas than we are, and we have specific and useful skills and expertise to share and are willing to do so with others, that is how we can both GIVE & RECEIVE free mentoring. It's also essential to have some kind of structure and framework so that there is equal participation. The way this forum is set up is one of many excellent examples.

One of MY areas of expertise is Masterminding in many formats and styles. My business partner and I have started or participated in over a dozen Mastermind groups between us in the past few years.

When you get the right kind of people together, who want to both get and give support and help, and establish an environment of TRUST, CONFIDENTIALITY, HONESTY and ACCOUNTABILITY (4 of THE most important qualities that make a Mastermind group sucsessful), amazing and magical things happen.

Here's a quiz -- WHO started the whole concept of Mastermind groups? WHO organized and launched the very first one for business people?

HINT: It's not who you think!

If you want to learn more facts about Mastermind groups, especially to gain clarity about what they ARE and ARE NOT, you can go visit our web site -- TheMagicOfMastermind.com and click on "Learn More".

The Mastermind concept has been at times hijacked and distorted by many "gurus" who offer a high ticket education or learning program where they are mostly teaching their stuff and the group members get to share their ideas or expertise and connect with each other once in a great while.

That's NOT a Mastermind Group. Only when the members of the group itself get to determine the quality of the experience, only when everyone has an equal opportunity to share and give and receive help, only when everyone accepts that all members are on equal footing even if some know more than others in certain areas, only when there is mutual respect and a commitment to confidentiality, only when group members hold each other accountable for the implementation commitments they have made to their businesses as a result of input from other group members, only then is the group truly a Mastermind.

Certainly a Mastermind group can be facilitated/led by a professional; however, within that framework that facilitator needs to set their ego aside and create an envirnment where their input is a small part of the exchange that goes on ion the group. Even if they are a paid leader, their
primary function is to keep the group running smoothly and make sure everyone gets to share and participate. That's when the most cool and exciting stuff happens!

Again, this forum is an excellent example of one type of quality Mastermind experience.

AND, P.S. -- one of THE most effective ways to grow yourself is to be a mentor to others.

N.

As a newbie fighting for a real mentor or coaches attention I have to agree. Everyone out there seems like they are the ones you need to prove yourself to. In my opinion you have already proved enough hence why they are even asking you for help in the first place!
They really get a bad name out there for people like me who are absolutely dieing to succeed and put countless hours into it.
If at first you don't succeed try try again but still some of us are a bit lost and not the kind to take anything for granted.

Biggest advice for mentor seekers is, just like Doc said look up your Waggers, Gosses, Kensalls, Bev etc and have a long read through their posts.
I "post stalked" these guys when I first got here and learned some of my biggest lessons that way! True free mentoring at it's finest!

I am now however building shrines to them all in the hope of some actual one on one coaching! ;.) Any takers?

Good stuff. I would also love to mentor a few people on how to succeed in Network Marketing online without picking up the phone or contacting people face to face.

If anyone wants my help, you can email me through this forum.

Am doing well and would love to help a few serious and frustrated people.

Tal