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Can I ask a favor

by cnelson27
8 replies
Hi all,

I realize this is the forum for the best of the best and am in no way in that class YET. But I was curious if I could get some feedback on my squeeze page. The link is in my signature

This is my first attempt so I realize this is no where close to professional but am willing to take any and all assistance. Any feedback will be taken and implemented.

Thanks,

Chris Nelson
#favor #squeeze page review
  • Profile picture of the author cnelson27
    the link is

    www dot getuponyourself dot com. Thanks
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    • Profile picture of the author ShaneBoyd
      Do yourself a favor. Print your squeeze page out, then read it out loud. The copy doesn't flow very easily. I found myself reading it 3 or 4 times trying to figure out what is was saying.

      FYI: That's a little copy 101 by the way. You may want to post this in the copywriting section.

      Peace,

      Shane
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    • Profile picture of the author Darren Tan
      Who are you targeting Chris?
      • new business?
      • established business?
      It seems to me that you are trying to target everybody.

      By the way, your conversion will probably do better if you just sell 1 thing, the 1 thing that's most painful to your potential clients rather than touching on all different areas.

      Originally Posted by cnelson27 View Post

      the link is

      www dot getuponyourself dot com. Thanks
      Signature
      "You are surrounded by simple, obvious solutions that can dramatically increase your income, power, influence and success. The problem is you just don't see them."
      Marketing Legend - Jay Abraham
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  • Profile picture of the author JonMills
    I would get your email form above the fold

    Also how is this one working for you?

    Test it with video

    Test it with graphics and without

    Test it with the email form presented in different ways
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    http://www.thecopywriterwhisperer.com/ Persuasion at it's best!
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  • Profile picture of the author Nemanja
    You must work on it a little bit harder. Research this forum for tips on sales letters or you can hire somone to create one for you.

    Or just browse others sales letters and use their strategy(don't copy, just study and try to figure out what you are missing)

    Nemanja
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    • Profile picture of the author cnelson27
      Thanks all for your assistance.
      ShaneBoyd: I will read it out loud as suggested.
      JonMills: I will revamp the page to the form above the fold. How it is working? I am a newbie to Marketing especially over the internet, so my first attempt at a squeeze page is before you. I will test it with the above metioned ideas as well. I figure falling flat on my face is better than doing nothing.
      Darren Tan: I was targeting mostly new businesses. With the possiblity that those ones that were established and failing could read the report and have ideas on getting their business to the next level.
      Nemanja: I appreciate the feedback and will research as suggested. Just wanted to get me foot in the game and am not afraid to fail the first few times.

      To all who replied I really do appreciate your sincere an honest feedback. I look forward to failing forward again
      I am not worried though, because I only have one direct to go when starting at the bottom.
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  • Profile picture of the author Gclunis
    Just an observation that I saw within the first few lines. Try to use simple words. I dont mean to dumb it down or anything like that. Just remember that not all of your visitors will know what "fallacies" means. With all of your content and all of your emails you want to have simple posts that everyone can understand. You wouldn't want to have someone open an email and not understand what it is about because of a limited vocabulary right? Something simple like that can cost you alot of sales.
    Signature

    Cheers,
    Gregg

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  • Profile picture of the author Gclunis
    Also i have heard that alot of people will disregard something if it is described as a "report". I am not entirely sure how true this is but it's something you could consider testing or running a poll about. You'd hate to lose opt-ins just because of something like that.
    Signature

    Cheers,
    Gregg

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