Worst-spun article. Ever.

82 replies
Lookie what I came across...

Three Things To Do Before You Submit Your Article

To all writers and non-writers out there, now is the moment to start dig up those generative writing skills rear.
With late connectedness subject comes the popularity of information-based marketing, which is one of the oldest and most good techniques in effort targeted prospects to sites and converting them into buyers. This is why article composition, submissions and publications are also deed common.
There are already umteen tools that grouping can use to play the enation of distributing their articles statesman easily. Tho' this is valuable in exploit the listing statesman exposure, which is exclusive half of the prevarication.
Let us use a wait no. at the unrefined mistakes that any group micturate before submitting their contents to article directories:
1. Confusing the faculty to support the articles with the think to compose them.
In article work, there are trine key benefits why you are promoting them; branding, move procreation and encouragement, which are all part of your optimization efforts.
But there is only one ground why you create an article, and that is to inform your chance. If the article is not convergent on this direct and most key utility, it present break to attain the triplet packaging benefits because no one present be interested in measure them.
You pauperism to personage out firstly how to get group to scan what is in your article, then play them plosive on your ingenuity box. You can reach this by producing outmatch list.
2. Failing to exploit the promotional opportunities of article marketing.
You may **** already that your articles can service you create additional links punt to your position. But do you hump that you can get solon visitors and better see engine results from that aforesaid articles?
Refer keywords at strategic places. Upright be careful not to overdo them. Some are change using fix texts which is also an good method. But it is big to **** that age of the directories are not competent to hold this.
Think that is not exclusive most the course backmost to your place. Air of doing fountainhead in your article marketing is getting picked up by publishers with a titanic circumscribe of audiences and gaining the cognition of leveraging different brands because of the lineament of your occupation. Advisable activity engine results also are uppercase benefits.
But these things do not put untold money in your sac. There are separate factors that can channelise your article marketing efforts into an possibility that can increment your earnings. Not honorable gain the number of visitors to your situation.
Sign out with a contrive and see to it that your article testament assist the answer that you witting it to soul.
3. Publishing accumulation that does not provide your readers.
Maybe in the writ of work articles, you are thought that all that is you sought is course backward to your position. And any visitors it can create are small.
Work what? Not all article banks and directories are effort to tolerate your assemblage automatically. Oftentimes, they acquire whatsoever guidelines and specifications on the articles that they are accepting.
You can individual the confine of sites you can submit to by penning articles that the directories necessity to share with opposite people. All it takes is one house with a centred grand readers to process your possibleness interview overnight.
Indite the articles that publishers want in their publications if you require your article marketing to play the most efficacious way for you. This also agency you hit to obey the accepted guidelines, language checks, researching on a sound matter and even hiring a author to produce a righteous content on your behalf.
In the end, it is all rattling a concern of prize on your share. You can start effort a lowercase danger from hyperbolic links backwards but on a very radical tier. Or enjoy large danger from a young thespian reading making lineament contents.
It gift be your prime. You may not be alert of the fact that an article submitted on directories is not meant to feature the selfsame dismantle of danger as highly-targeted assemblage ones geared on a marginal foregather of group.
Inform the difference between these two and it leave sure better you bed what kinds of articles to write and to submit.

roflmao

But there is only one ground why you create an article, and that is to inform your chance.
Really, this is what I've been saying ALL ALONG. Inform your chance, people, please?

All it takes is one house with a centred grand readers to process your possibleness interview overnight.
Sage advice that all of us would do well to follow.

But these things do not put untold money in your sac.
My sac? ??? :confused:

It gift be your prime. You may not be alert of the fact that an article submitted on directories is not meant to feature the selfsame dismantle of danger as highly-targeted assemblage ones geared on a marginal foregather of group.
The eagle flies at midnight...
#article #worstspun
  • Profile picture of the author CanEh!
    Wow that is bad. That is why I only use hand written articles.
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  • Profile picture of the author getsmartt
    Let us use a wait no. at the unrefined mistakes that any group micturate before submitting their contents to article directories:
    too funny....LMAO
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  • Profile picture of the author txconx
    Unfortunately, I've seen handwritten articles that were this bad.
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  • Profile picture of the author Midas3 Consulting
    Which article database allowed that crap ?
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  • Profile picture of the author stfu
    rofl.. Ya I've seen some blog posts that were equally bad as this one.
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  • Profile picture of the author Lisa Gergets
    It came in a PLR article pack I bought, LOL.
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    • Profile picture of the author txconx
      Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post

      It came in a PLR article pack I bought, LOL.
      I'd demand a refund.
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      • Profile picture of the author Lisa Gergets
        Originally Posted by txconx View Post

        I'd demand a refund.
        The funny thing is, it's packaged with all of these very well-written articles! I don't get it. LOL :confused:
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        • Profile picture of the author bwh1
          Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post

          The funny thing is, it's packaged with all of these very well-written articles! I don't get it. LOL :confused:
          I would send THAT article to the seller and ask for a translation.

          G.
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        • Profile picture of the author ozduc
          Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post

          The funny thing is, it's packaged with all of these very well-written articles! I don't get it. LOL :confused:
          I guess that was the "Extra Bonus Material"
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    • Profile picture of the author DaveHughes
      You pauperism to personage out firstly how to get group to scan what is in your article, then play them plosive on your ingenuity box.
      But at least it came with instructions on how best to use it!

      /facepalm

      Some days I'm embarrassed to be a human. Gerbils don't write this poorly.
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      • Profile picture of the author Lisa Gergets
        Originally Posted by DaveHughes View Post

        But at least it came with instructions on how best to use it!

        /facepalm

        Some days I'm embarrassed to be a human. Gerbils don't write this poorly.
        Dave, it's alllll about playin' 'em plosive on your ingenuity box, didn't you know that?
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    • Profile picture of the author mywebwork
      Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post

      It came in a PLR article pack I bought, LOL.
      Lisa, I believe you misunderstood the meaning of "PLR" when you purchased this. Rather than meaning Private Label Rights it probably meant:

      Pure Load of Rubbish
      Pretty Lousy Resourse
      Plutonian Language Recital
      Positive Literary Reject
      Potentially Lethal Reading

      Next time read the fine print more carfeully...or was this the fine print?



      Bill
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  • Profile picture of the author Charann Miller
    That's hilarious, can't believe that anyone would think that was in any way usable. Be funny if it ended up on ezinearticles, hehehe.

    "But these things do not put untold money in your sac", classic line.
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    • Profile picture of the author GeorgR.
      Originally Posted by Charann Miller View Post

      That's hilarious, can't believe that anyone would think that was in any way usable. Be funny if it ended up on ezinearticles, hehehe.

      "But these things do not put untold money in your sac", classic line.
      I have seen such garbage on reputable press release sites...having TOP google rankings for a certain keyword. Needless to say i complained and they removed it

      Especially liked the "my sac" part...
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  • Profile picture of the author steve m
    This is mine!

    Only joking. That is really the pits. I doubt any reader would carry on after the first few sentences to be honest with you. Totally unusable in my eyes.

    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author mitchpowell
      I worked really hard on that article! How dare you all criticize me! I can tell you don't inform your chance! Well, don't look for any money in your sac!

      Mitch
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  • Profile picture of the author cowsgonemadd3
    Where did you find that? Nobody would read that....lol
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  • Profile picture of the author cowsgonemadd3
    We all just did, hehehehe.
    I just scanned it...lol It drives me insane to read articles like that.
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  • Profile picture of the author seobro
    I have seen worse. Typically from people who live in countries that consider 50 cents an hour a princely sum. Where computer programmers with college degrees make $3,000/year. Yeah, they all dream of coming to america, working in a 7-11, and making the US minimum wage.
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  • Profile picture of the author Vadym
    I don't understand.

    Seems like a well-written, great article.

    I especially like the:
    "Confusing the faculty to support the articles with the think to compose them."

    They really take that one to heart and run with it.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ken Strong
      You're all just jealous. True cutting-edge artists are almost never appreciated during their lifetimes.
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      • Profile picture of the author Lisa Gergets
        Originally Posted by KenStrong View Post

        You're all just jealous. True cutting-edge artists are almost never appreciated during their lifetimes.
        I knew I recognized the writing, Ken! It's yours, isn't it? :p
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      • Profile picture of the author jcoolbaugh
        My think must be working with late connectedness. I've looked in thine places and still can't find my wait no. Must have been that exposed statesman looking to move procreation and tolerate my assemblage with his righteous content and dismantle of danger :p

        LOL... thanks for the laugh, Lisa!!

        Originally Posted by KenStrong View Post

        You're all just jealous. True cutting-edge artists are almost never appreciated during their lifetimes.
        Would that classify as a Pop Art-icle then?
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  • Profile picture of the author jasonboom
    Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post

    But these things do not put untold money in your sac.
    I can't stop laughing...my word. What a terrible article!
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  • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
    I've read this before.

    Actually, it's a rare historical document of a collaborative effort
    involving Nietzsche, Dylan, Karl Marx, and Harpo Marx during a
    three day acid binge.

    Sold for millions at a Christie's auction in NYC.

    Nice find, Lisa!
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    • Profile picture of the author Greg guitar
      Originally Posted by KenThompson View Post

      I've read this before.

      Actually, it's a rare historical document of a collaborative effort
      involving Nietzsche, Dylan, Karl Marx, and Harpo Marx during a
      three day acid binge.

      Sold for millions at a Christie's auction in NYC.

      Nice find, Lisa!
      All the more historically significant because that group's meeting and LSD acquisition required the first and only use of Harpo's secret invention: the time/space travel capsule. (Few people knew Harpo's secret: that he was a scientific genius and prolific inventor in addition to being famous for never having learned to speak, although oddly, he also wrote sizzling salescopy, and was Dan Kennedy's main inspiration).

      The LSD was a gift from Dr. Tim Leary, who was delighted to meet the time travelers during a pit stop that was made so Karl could "empty the bucket" at Harvard University in the year 1966. They were on the way to a party at the Vatican of the mid 21st century, which by that time had been converted into a combination of the world's largest disco skating rink, sci-fi lending library, and cathedral, all under the banner of the Scientatholic Church.

      A special wing at the Church is devoted to the teachings of Saint L. Ron Hubbard, containing only one book: "Dianetics", but over a million copies of it. The future Bible is merged with Dianetics, which also incorporates long random passages from several Stephen King romance novels (he turned away from horror in his "golden years", to pioneer the 1000+ page "dime store romance"). The latest edition of the "good book", is 10,638 pages long. Of course nobody actually checks it out-physical books and libraries are purely ceremonial artifacts.

      Interestingly the literacy rate has dropped to about 15th century levels, and only Priests are allowed to own Kindles, or actually read Dianetics-anyone else caught reading it is put into a stockade in the center of the holy ice rink for two weeks, and revelers are encouraged to gesture obscenely and throw rotten fruit at them. If you want to know what's in the book, you must attend Mass (which is mandatory anyway).

      The holy disco of that period consists of High Mass with people porking out on wine and wafers, doing poppers, and snorting blow, with all substances blessed by the new Pope, who's ditched the robes and kamelaukion* for an Elvis jumpsuit, a tiny holy spoon hanging from a gold chain, and a wicked foot-high pompadour.

      Once they've had their fill of food and drugs, partiers move into the rink, undulating on turbo-skates at speeds of up to 85 KPH, to the pulsating electronic rhythms of medleys our ears would find odd indeed. In the particular time when the travelers arrived, it is illegal to dance to any music that doesn't combine all of the following artists into each 2 minute song: J.S. Bach, Tina Turner, Carla Bley, James Marshall Hendrix, Sly and the Family Stone, Miles Davis, the Bee Gees, Ravi Shankar, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, the Runaways, Backstreet Boyz, Igor Stravinski, and Donna Summer.

      Our heros' minds were indeed brought to the brink of aphrodisiomania* when they found themselves in this orectical* playground. Unfortunately their capsule was rather fragile, and was left parked on the ice.

      As the third night of the party progressed, things got crazier and wilder. At one point, Bob Dylan, Dylan Thomas (yes, both were present) and Harpo had joined hands and were ecstatically spinning around as fast as possible with little attention to their surroundings. As the three careened around the rink with their turbos set to "stun", they smashed into the machine, killing all three of them instantly, and destroying the machine itself.

      Members of Harpo's secret team of savants that had helped build it, had to then build another one, frantically dashing through time to reconstruct history, covering up the entire incident, even going so far as to replace Bob Dylan with a "born again" android, who still performs to this day

      Side note: To retrieve the remnants of the capsule the savants had to agree to apply advanced mind control techniques to a few celebrities, notably John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Chick Corea, and Tom Cruise, to prepare people for accepting the coming sainthood of L. Ron Hubbard, and smooth the way for the impending church merger, thus reducing the bloodshed that would otherwise have occurred in an alternate version of the "Science Wars of 2012" (widely misinterpreted by prophets as the "end of the world"-btw, science lost, but at least got it's name incorporated in the church name).

      Anyway, once they were done rewriting history and hypnotizing celebs, for the good of humanity, the team destroyed the second machine, taking the disco incident as an indication that humans aren't equipped to handle time travel, let alone LSD turbo skating to a "Bach n' roll" soundtrack.

      Sadly, with them died the secret of the location of the "one house with a centred grand readers to process your possibleness", an obscure reference believed to mean the laboratory where the testing of the capsule was conducted before it's ill fated maiden voyage.

      There is much we won't understand about that cryptic document, until all is revealed when time catches us up to those wild nights at the holy disco. Until then I am sure scholars will be poring over it, spouting theories, and inventing dance steps based on it's imagined meaning.

      *Glossary of pretentious, silly and weird words:
      kamelaukion: tall cylindrical hat worn by Orthodox priests
      aphrodisiomania:abnormal sexual interest
      orectic: of, like or pertaining to appetite or desires (I added the "al")
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      • Profile picture of the author Lisa Gergets
        Originally Posted by Greg guitar View Post

        All the more historically significant because that group's meeting and LSD acquisition required the first and only use of Harpo's secret invention: the time/space travel capsule. (Few people knew Harpo's secret: that he was a scientific genius and prolific inventor in addition to being famous for never having learned to speak, although oddly, he also wrote sizzling salescopy, and was Dan Kennedy's main inspiration).

        The LSD was a gift from Dr. Tim Leary, who was delighted to meet the time travelers during a pit stop that was made so Karl could "empty the bucket" at Harvard University in the year 1966. They were on the way to a party at the Vatican of the mid 21st century, which by that time had been converted into a combination of the world's largest disco skating rink, sci-fi lending library, and cathedral, all under the banner of the Scientatholic Church.

        A special wing at the Church is devoted to the teachings of Saint L. Ron Hubbard, containing only one book: "Dianetics", but over a million copies of it. The future Bible is merged with Dianetics, which also incorporates long random passages from several Stephen King romance novels (he turned away from horror in his "golden years", to pioneer the 1000+ page "dime store romance"). The latest edition of the "good book", is 10,638 pages long. Of course nobody actually checks it out-physical books and libraries are purely ceremonial artifacts.

        Interestingly the literacy rate has dropped to about 15th century levels, and only Priests are allowed to own Kindles, or actually read Dianetics-anyone else caught reading it is put into a stockade in the center of the holy ice rink for two weeks, and revelers are encouraged to gesture obscenely and throw rotten fruit at them. If you want to know what's in the book, you must attend Mass (which is mandatory anyway).

        The holy disco of that period consists of High Mass with people porking out on wine and wafers, doing poppers, and snorting blow, with all substances blessed by the new Pope, who's ditched the robes and kamelaukion* for an Elvis jumpsuit, a tiny holy spoon hanging from a gold chain, and a wicked foot-high pompadour.

        Once they've had their fill of food and drugs, partiers move into the rink, undulating on turbo-skates at speeds of up to 85 KPH, to the pulsating electronic rhythms of medleys our ears would find odd indeed. In the particular time when the travelers arrived, it is illegal to dance to any music that doesn't combine all of the following artists into each 2 minute song: J.S. Bach, Tina Turner, Carla Bley, James Marshall Hendrix, Sly and the Family Stone, Miles Davis, the Bee Gees, Ravi Shankar, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, the Runaways, Backstreet Boyz, Igor Stravinski, and Donna Summer.

        Our heros' minds were indeed brought to the brink of aphrodisiomania* when they found themselves in this orectical* playground. Unfortunately their capsule was rather fragile, and was left parked on the ice.

        As the third night of the party progressed, things got crazier and wilder. At one point, Bob Dylan, Dylan Thomas (yes, both were present) and Harpo had joined hands and were ecstatically spinning around as fast as possible with little attention to their surroundings. As the three careened around the rink with their turbos set to "stun", they smashed into the machine, killing all three of them instantly, and destroying the machine itself.

        Members of Harpo's secret team of savants that had helped build it, had to then build another one, frantically dashing through time to reconstruct history, covering up the entire incident, even going so far as to replace Bob Dylan with a "born again" android, who still performs to this day

        Side note: To retrieve the remnants of the capsule the savants had to agree to apply advanced mind control techniques to a few celebrities, notably John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Chick Corea, and Tom Cruise, to prepare people for accepting the coming sainthood of L. Ron Hubbard, and smooth the way for the impending church merger, thus reducing the bloodshed that would otherwise have occurred in an alternate version of the "Science Wars of 2012" (widely misinterpreted by prophets as the "end of the world"-btw, science lost, but at least got it's name incorporated in the church name).

        Anyway, once they were done rewriting history and hypnotizing celebs, for the good of humanity, the team destroyed the second machine, taking the disco incident as an indication that humans aren't equipped to handle time travel, let alone LSD turbo skating to a "Bach n' roll" soundtrack.

        Sadly, with them died the secret of the location of the "one house with a centred grand readers to process your possibleness", an obscure reference believed to mean the laboratory where the testing of the capsule was conducted before it's ill fated maiden voyage.

        There is much we won't understand about that cryptic document, until all is revealed when time catches us up to those wild nights at the holy disco. Until then I am sure scholars will be poring over it, spouting theories, and inventing dance steps based on it's imagined meaning.

        *Glossary of pretentious, silly and weird words:
        kamelaukion: tall cylindrical hat worn by Orthodox priests
        aphrodisiomania:abnormal sexual interest
        orectic: of, like or pertaining to appetite or desires (I added the "al")

        Oh.










        Wow.






        Uh.....
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      • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
        Originally Posted by Greg guitar View Post

        There is much we won't understand about that cryptic document
        Greg, I can't wait for your ultimate concept album about all of this. In comparison, it will make Tommy and The Wall look like documentaries about tax accounting.
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  • Profile picture of the author globalpro
    If you read it real fast, it almost sounds poetic.

    One thing I am confused about. Don't all online marketers have a sac they put their untold money in? With the banks being so risky anymore, I would think a very large sac would be the way to go.

    Thanks,

    John

    PS Great find Lisa. Very funny.
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    • Profile picture of the author Lisa Gergets
      Originally Posted by globalpro View Post

      One thing I am confused about. Don't all online marketers have a sac they put their untold money in? With the banks being so risky anymore, I would think a very large sac would be the way to go.
      Man, I just DREAM about having a sac that big...

      Anyone know whereabouts I might be able to obtain a really big, honkin' sac like that? I'll pay; I will!
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      • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
        Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post

        Man, I just DREAM about having a sac that big...

        Anyone know whereabouts I might be able to obtain a really big, honkin' sac like that? I'll pay; I will!
        If you use the search function, I think you'll find that there are already topics here about the "online dating" niche.
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Wilson
    Well several people thought it was worth using: "play the enation of distributing their articles - Yahoo! Search Results

    There it is out there earning its keep across the intarwebs.
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  • Profile picture of the author silvervixen
    Wow. That is bad. I couldn't even read the entire thing.

    While I realize that not all PLR is created equal, this type of thing one of the reasons why I prefer to write my own articles. I could not attach my name to anything resembling that and feel ok about it.
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    • Profile picture of the author Seattle Mike
      I didn't have a headache 5 minutes ago!

      But lookee at all the new words you just learned reading that New , Amazing and Fascinating piece of 5 second work. Even I would click the adsense to escape that article.

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  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
    If you insist on move procreation without putting money in my sac, damn straight I got a rattling concern of prime on my share. I'm not sure what micturating is but if you could help me locate an Awesome Canadian Pharmacy I think they could cure it.

    Chris

    PS Thanks for sharing this bizarre monstrosity, Lisa.
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    • Profile picture of the author rosetrees
      then play them plosive on your ingenuity box.
      That had me spluttering into my tea. I'm still wiping the tears from my eyes.

      I needed a good laugh - I just paid my income tax bill today.
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  • Profile picture of the author Lisa Gergets
    I don't know what's funnier - the article or some of the resulting posts! You guys are hysterical!
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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    Lisa, another possibility is that the article was swiped off a foreign language web site and translated using software. I get email in foreign languages every so often. I only speak English (other than a few "pardon my French" style words ) so if I am curious and have time, I'll go to Alta Vista and translate them into English. Those translations look a lot like that article. Here's an example of one that was originally in German:
    Rear sweet, Now finally also my homepage is finished. If you want arrive times by and schau her you. My first homepage constructional criticism is always welcome. I am already strained on your reaction;
    Greeting Julia
    Here's another that was originally in French if I recall correctly:
    I am been intensions to getting new documents pressed. If you configure to help all is inspected with a wandering eye but yet now maybe. May to come in time that is not here, and we and have many considered things. I fondly wished for antidotes.
    What do you think?
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    Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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  • Profile picture of the author Marhelper
    Sadly, I have seen worse.
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  • Profile picture of the author Biggy Fat
    <Sarcasm>

    I spent literally MINUTES on my masterpiece of an article, and these are the thanks I get? Apparently you guys don't understand true quality. That article is easily worth $30 if you sell it to the right person!

    </Sarcasm>
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason_V
    Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post


    You pauperism to personage out firstly how to get group to scan what is in your article, then play them plosive on your ingenuity box.
    Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post

    But do you hump that you can get solon visitors and better see engine results from that
    Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post

    Or enjoy large danger from a young thespian reading making lineament contents.

    Okay the above 3 sound like something you could base some adult websites around and make some serious bank!

    Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post


    Air of doing fountainhead in your article marketing is getting picked up by publishers with a titanic circumscribe of audiences and gaining the cognition of leveraging different brands because of the lineament of your occupation.
    Actually, I give this author credit. I think Ayn Rand would actually approve of this statement.

    Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post


    Work what? Not all article banks and directories are effort to tolerate your assemblage automatically. Oftentimes, they acquire whatsoever guidelines and specifications on the articles that they are accepting.
    Absolutely! I know for a fact this article would pass with flying colors at the most stringent of quality standards. This would be accepted into ezinearticles within minutes, if you have a premium account.

    Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post

    All it takes is one house with a centred grand readers to process your possibleness
    Move aside eastern philosophers. I think this is probably one of the most profound statements ever! Those of you mocking this article, shame on you! This statement alone is like pearls to swine!

    Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post

    and even hiring a author to produce a righteous content on your behalf.
    Dang straight, this was righteous content. It was beyond righteous, I'd go so far as to call it rad! I would hire this author for $20+ articles in a heartbeat!
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  • Profile picture of the author Zeus66
    You're always so critical, Gergets. Maybe the author was dropped on his head as a baby and this is the best he can do. He might have struggled for hours on that and it's the best he's ever done and he's really proud of it. Ever think of that? No, because you're so mean-spirited!
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    • Profile picture of the author Lisa Gergets
      Originally Posted by Zeus66 View Post

      You're always so critical, Gergets. Maybe the author was dropped on his head as a baby and this is the best he can do. He might have struggled for hours on that and it's the best he's ever done and he's really proud of it. Ever think of that? No, because you're so mean-spirited!
      Zeus, just because mama dumped you on your head purposely to see if it'd uncross those damn eyes...

      Come on people, why do you think he wears those sunglasses? Jeez...
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      • Profile picture of the author webmasteruk
        When article spinners go BAD!

        One word you could use to describe this is classic!

        I think Yoda could write a better article than this and it might even make sense!

        Great post and the best read I have had for ages.

        It looks like the person used a auto rewriter and just slapped it in the package without proof reading the garbage it created, or he used a translater and translated it from English to Outer Mongolian than back to English.

        Great post best laugh is ages.

        But do you hump that you can get solon visitors and better see engine results from that aforesaid articles?
        hump ??? You have to hump to get visitors??? Wow that puts a new meaning to SEO and Internet Marketing. I might even start to enjoy it

        What is a solon visitor and for some reason you need to hump and you get more!
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  • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
    AHEM... using my superior language and translation abilities, along with
    some help from google translation...

    What we have here, is a failure to communicate. No, I didn't steal that
    line from that movie. Geez...

    An interesting experiment. I took the following paragraph from the
    original masterpiece. Para # 1, as follows:

    "Confusing the faculty to support the articles with the think to compose them.
    In article work, there are trine key benefits why you are promoting them; branding, move procreation and encouragement, which are all part of your optimization efforts.
    But there is only one ground why you create an article, and that is to inform your chance. If the article is not convergent on this direct and most key utility, it present break to attain the triplet packaging benefits because no one present be interested in measure them.
    You pauperism to personage out firstly how to get group to scan what is in your article, then play them plosive on your ingenuity box. You can reach this by producing outmatch list."

    With my superior skills I painstakingly translated from:

    English >> German >> French >> Persian >> English

    Think that was easy? Think again. And the result??

    Feast thine eyes... lol.

    To confuse their ability to move the desired form. Working paper, significant benefits why you trigon advertising, there are faster, creating movement and will be encouraged to do any part of the efforts to optimize.

    But only one of the reasons you create an element exists, and this is an opportunity for you to update information. If direct and leading Join Date not provide three benefits package to break, to address the progress is measured interested.

    Your individual group as the first analysis, in which your article, you play in your mind pauperism box plosive. You can do more to list any.

    It's almost like poetry. I cried...

    Trigon advertising. I actually am thinking the original article contains a
    code. It could be a relative of the da Vinci code. Maybe an inbred cousin?

    You see? "... efforts to optimize." They were really talking about seo thousands
    of years ago.

    Mind pauperism box.

    Hmmm...

    What secrets could the rest possibly contain?

    Guitar player? You game?
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    • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
      Originally Posted by KenThompson View Post


      English >> German >> French >> Persian >> English
      This sales letter has been around the world 17 times and has brought the blessings of three-part text fixes for sacs to over 30,000 people. If you translate it to at least 10 more languages you will win happy good luck all year! If you fail to pass it on within 30 minutes you will have enation of packaging assemblage! Do not make that happen! Warren Buffet promises a free iPad to everyone who forwards this letter to at least 3,000 people by the next full moon!

      But only one of the reasons you create an element exists, and this is an opportunity for you to update information.
      You can't fool me, that's a direct quote from the Microsoft Web Database Programming Kit, v3.07 for .Net and Windows 7.
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  • Profile picture of the author cyberchick
    Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post

    Lookie what I came across...

    Three Things To Do Before You Submit Your Article

    To all writers and non-writers out there, now is the moment to start dig up those generative writing skills rear.
    With late connectedness subject comes the popularity of information-based marketing, which is one of the oldest and most good techniques in effort targeted prospects to sites and converting them into buyers. This is why article composition, submissions and publications are also deed common.
    There are already umteen tools that grouping can use to play the enation of distributing their articles statesman easily. Tho' this is valuable in exploit the listing statesman exposure, which is exclusive half of the prevarication.
    Let us use a wait no. at the unrefined mistakes that any group micturate before submitting their contents to article directories:
    1. Confusing the faculty to support the articles with the think to compose them.
    In article work, there are trine key benefits why you are promoting them; branding, move procreation and encouragement, which are all part of your optimization efforts.
    But there is only one ground why you create an article, and that is to inform your chance. If the article is not convergent on this direct and most key utility, it present break to attain the triplet packaging benefits because no one present be interested in measure them.
    You pauperism to personage out firstly how to get group to scan what is in your article, then play them plosive on your ingenuity box. You can reach this by producing outmatch list.
    2. Failing to exploit the promotional opportunities of article marketing.
    You may **** already that your articles can service you create additional links punt to your position. But do you hump that you can get solon visitors and better see engine results from that aforesaid articles?
    Refer keywords at strategic places. Upright be careful not to overdo them. Some are change using fix texts which is also an good method. But it is big to **** that age of the directories are not competent to hold this.
    Think that is not exclusive most the course backmost to your place. Air of doing fountainhead in your article marketing is getting picked up by publishers with a titanic circumscribe of audiences and gaining the cognition of leveraging different brands because of the lineament of your occupation. Advisable activity engine results also are uppercase benefits.
    But these things do not put untold money in your sac. There are separate factors that can channelise your article marketing efforts into an possibility that can increment your earnings. Not honorable gain the number of visitors to your situation.
    Sign out with a contrive and see to it that your article testament assist the answer that you witting it to soul.
    3. Publishing accumulation that does not provide your readers.
    Maybe in the writ of work articles, you are thought that all that is you sought is course backward to your position. And any visitors it can create are small.
    Work what? Not all article banks and directories are effort to tolerate your assemblage automatically. Oftentimes, they acquire whatsoever guidelines and specifications on the articles that they are accepting.
    You can individual the confine of sites you can submit to by penning articles that the directories necessity to share with opposite people. All it takes is one house with a centred grand readers to process your possibleness interview overnight.
    Indite the articles that publishers want in their publications if you require your article marketing to play the most efficacious way for you. This also agency you hit to obey the accepted guidelines, language checks, researching on a sound matter and even hiring a author to produce a righteous content on your behalf.
    In the end, it is all rattling a concern of prize on your share. You can start effort a lowercase danger from hyperbolic links backwards but on a very radical tier. Or enjoy large danger from a young thespian reading making lineament contents.
    It gift be your prime. You may not be alert of the fact that an article submitted on directories is not meant to feature the selfsame dismantle of danger as highly-targeted assemblage ones geared on a marginal foregather of group.
    Inform the difference between these two and it leave sure better you bed what kinds of articles to write and to submit.

    roflmao

    Really, this is what I've been saying ALL ALONG. Inform your chance, people, please?

    Sage advice that all of us would do well to follow.

    My sac? ??? :confused:

    The eagle flies at midnight...
    Spun articles are crap - full stop! It's like telling a machine to cook for us on autopilot. Imagine the lack of vitamins, flavor, taste and structure the meal would have.

    A spun article lacks the same components. I don't know when people start to get that paying for content - quality content - will bring far better results long term than trying their luck at spun stuff. If it was that easy most of them would be raking in the cash by now but this isn't so.

    With Google slowly weeding out crap content from their listings it is only a matter of time until the artificial rubbish disappears for good.

    In the meantime, for all you spinners out there, suit yourself - keep spinning crap content and see your competition (those with structured, flavored and tasteful articles) rake in all the cash you want on the fly.

    Good luck!
    Monika
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  • Profile picture of the author dremora
    I don't know half of the words. Sounds like someone ran some boring text through google translator to translate it to some foreign language, then re-ran it to translate that to English.
    LMAO!
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    • Profile picture of the author All Night Cafe
      I don't get them this bad, but have had many nearly as bad.

      I think this will sell many products. Not.
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    • Profile picture of the author bravo75
      You pauperism to personage out firstly how to get group to scan what is in your article, then play them plosive on your ingenuity box. You can reach this by producing outmatch list

      WTF?:confused:
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    • Profile picture of the author discrat
      Gosh, I am just thankful that I grew up speaking English !! I feel sorry for those who are trying to learn it as adults. It is a hard language to tackle.
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      Nothing to see here including a Sig so just move on :)

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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
    I think it is only fair that someone should pass along some advice to the original author - whoever it may be. Here is something for them to keep in mind...
    • We honor and these taxes, because we thought the best launches fighters if the project do the job alone, because the most famous work among the people. Let us him horror assistance during the commercial. Master my embrace is correct target return our national the does not to alone. Both parties must sword and e-clothing and then advanced smoke wore helmet his.
    All the best,
    Michael
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    "Ich bin en fuego!"
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    • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
      Originally Posted by Michael Oksa View Post

      I think it is only fair that someone should pass along some advice to the original author - whoever it may be. Here is something for them to keep in mind...
      • We honor and these taxes, because we thought the best launches fighters if the project do the job alone, because the most famous work among the people. Let us him horror assistance during the commercial. Master my embrace is correct target return our national the does not to alone. Both parties must sword and e-clothing and then advanced smoke wore helmet his.
      All the best,
      Michael
      I can picture this as a 30 second TV spot during political convention week. The stirring patriotic music swells, we pan from the amber waves of grain, to Main Street's little shops, to neighbors on the porches, to kids playing in New York City... to our best candidate for the job...
      vote for Greg Guitar.
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    • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
      Originally Posted by Michael Oksa View Post

      advanced smoke wore helmet his.
      "... advanced smoke wearing helmut whilst charging
      into the valley of death with the mighty 600. "

      Michael, you plagiarized that from Alfred Lord Tennyson's
      Charge of The Light Brigade.

      You have no shame, do you?
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      • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
        Originally Posted by KenThompson View Post

        "... advanced smoke wearing helmut whilst charging
        into the valley of death with the mighty 600. "

        Michael, you plagiarized that from Alfred Lord Tennyson's
        Charge of The Light Brigade.

        You have no shame, do you?
        LOL

        Wow! If I did, it was completely unintentional. I really thought it was original, but, alas, it seems as though the high school part of my subconscious was ransacked! And here I thought it was gone for good.



        All the best,
        Michael
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        "Ich bin en fuego!"
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        • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
          Originally Posted by Michael Oksa View Post

          LOL

          Wow! If I did, it was completely unintentional. I really thought it was original, but, alas, it seems as though the high school part of my subconscious was ransacked! And here I thought it was gone for good.



          All the best,
          Michael
          LOL.

          Awww... just yankin' your chain - again. Or maybe you're yankin' mine.

          Your subconscious ransacked? Dude... you are impervious to wippets and glue. lol
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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    Oh Michael, you have such a way with words. I wish I could write like that! It's almost like Shakespeare or BonVinashon, or even Grunhilda Burblebottom.
    Signature

    Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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  • Profile picture of the author Charann Miller
    This thread never gets tired, I'm still crying. It's a veritable word salad for lack of a better description.

    What I would love to see is movie dialogue written like that.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
      Originally Posted by Charann Miller View Post

      This thread never gets tired, I'm still crying. It's a veritable word salad for lack of a better description.

      What I would love to see is movie dialogue written like that.
      Word salad...I like that. I'm going to steal it from you and never give it back. In fact, I like it so much I'm going to give you my first every triple emoticon post! :p
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      Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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  • Profile picture of the author Brian Leatherman
    My daughter asked me if I could explain what that said. I told her I'm not sure if the good lord could translate what that said.
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  • Profile picture of the author bwh1
    You won't believe it.

    Someone actually posted that article at the 6th of January to DocStoc

    Article Marketing Tips 255

    Must be "the death and blind marketer"


    G
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  • Profile picture of the author Sojourn
    Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post

    you are thought that all that is you sought
    Why...it's almost poetic.

    (I can hardly breathe I'm laughing so hard!)
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  • Profile picture of the author areaK
    LOL...I couldn't even get through the whole thing. My brain started to hurt!

    ...but for those who hate spun articles, if you HAND spin them, they come out just fine because you put the options for each word/sentence/paragraph in yourself rather than just having spun versions auto-generated. They're quite useful.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jim Gillum
    Lisa...
    I have picked up a few PLR packs , over the past few months, (real cheap), that had mostly really good articles and a few subjects that were obviously written by that author......
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  • Profile picture of the author Peter Nguyen
    Lol you guys are too funny..
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  • Profile picture of the author Zabrina
    "You may **** already that your articles can service you"

    ...So that's why people go into the adult niche.

    "This also agency you hit to obey the accepted guidelines"

    Violence is encouraged in the IM world, kiddies.

    Hmm, there are so many more quotes I would like to mock, but my time to do so runs short.
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  • Profile picture of the author sanssecret
    I think it's a brill article.

    You're all just jealous cos you didn't write it.:p
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    San

    The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life. ~Muhammad Ali
    Pay me to play. :) Order a Custom Cover today.
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  • Profile picture of the author Barry Unruh
    The sad thing....This article is listed on the internet at least 60 times. Some of them are article directories.

    I think the fun thing to do would be to put it in an article spinner, spin it a few more times, and see if it finally makes sense.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kevin Birch
    Would love to know if you milked the entire package by rewriting this one? LOL

    My wicked sense of humour wants to post a job on rentacoder for a rewrite . . .
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  • Profile picture of the author Andie
    What is wrong it you people??!?!

    Take a hit of acid and read it backwards like you're s'posed to and it makes PERFECT sense...can you not see that?

    man...
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    • Profile picture of the author Paxton
      What's really sad is that somebody (or 60 bodies judging from how many times it shows in search results) has paid good money for a marketing course that teaches exactly this kind of thing. Re-write some already dire article and submit it to 100's directories.
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      Never undersell yourself - SEO is a skill clients are prepared to pay big money for
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  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    OMFG! It's been written by a Vogon!

    "Oh freddled gruntbuggly! Thy nacturations are to me..."
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    "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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  • Profile picture of the author mattlaclear
    Hahaha...thanks for sharing. You gave me a giggle and I appreciate it!
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  • Profile picture of the author dallas407
    Oh wow. Hahaha
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  • Profile picture of the author Karomesis
    LOL, it might suck really bad. But guess what? I've seen dozens of niches dominated at the top of the SERPS by sites with crap like that.

    you don't have to have an article that looks like it was written by Mark Twain to rank well
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  • Profile picture of the author gtal
    I actually interviewed a woman who brought me a resume that read almost as bad as this. I saved it for years to show because I didn't think anyone would believe that writing like that actually existed.
    Guess I haven't been around enough.
    This was a really fun post. Lisa I'm glad you shared this. And ozduc, I'm glad you resurrected it.
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