How do I help a friend? Need advice from serious players...

Hey,

Sorry to hear about your friend. I had a close friend of the family who was fighting cancer and ultimately lost that battle this past December.

She always made people smile and even though she was sick she made the best out of life.

However, while she was sick we did a few things to help raise money for her bills and just to help them out. The most successful thing we did was put together a benefit dinner.

What you could do is have someone cook, or get some friends together and make food. Sell tickets to come and have a plate of food and the money will be going to your friend. Also, while at the dinner and while you are promoting it, try to get gifts from local business they you can auction off. You will be surprised at how many small business are willing to give gift cards and such to help get their name out there and get a new customer.

That way you can make money off of all the auctioned items as well. Another thing you could do is have a 50/50 raffle. Most people if they win will donate the money back but if not you can still get a few hundred bucks from that.

This will take some work, but if your friend is as nice as you described him I would gather all of the people who he has made an impact out and get out there and promote the **** out of this. You will be surprised at the people who will come. Also, you may be able to get someone to donate a hall to host it in or at a good discount. You could sell soft drinks, deserts and what ever else you could think of.

I know this is not dealing with online but you could realistically make 15-25k from doing one of these events and possibly more if this guy really has that many friends.

I have been a part of 2 of these events so if you need some more information or have some other questions just shoot me a PM and I will see what I can do.

Give my best wishes to your friend and don't give up!

Brett

I see you're a writer too, but I'm willing to contribute my writing services however I can. I don't have products or a list yet (working on developing both this month), or I'd donate a portion of my profits. I regret that I'm not yet at the income level I'd like to be so I can help others more directly, but please do let me know if I can help at all with writing! Oh, and I'd also put a link to the promotion in my sig, or contribute premade content.

Hmm, there's a thought... (Brainstorming as I write. ) What about putting together some kind of content package -- a complete PLR site? One person could design the website template, another could write the sales copy on the template, another could contribute the licensing stuff and terms of service, a few people could contribute related reports and PLR articles, some people could promote it to their lists, etc...

I'd love to write some articles or content to include free of charge, if you do that. Please drop me a PM and let me know what I can do.

I think it's great that Skip has good friends like you, and my heart goes out to him.

Don't give up on him! Offer to stop by with popcorn and movie, to take him out for a meal or show, to come by with prepared meals and chat, to have him over to the most comfy seat in the house when you have a party. Some people will be clueless and shun him. Show that you want to check in him every week or two. This means more than can be put into words.

At a time like this it can be hard to deal with paperwork. With office skills, you could really help Skip even before you turn on the internet marketing.

There should be a medical social worker in the picture. This would be someone who is up to date on how to help clients with the financial and legal aspects of their condition, as well as providing a listening ear. Licensed Clinical Social Worker is the typical credential.

Get the list of Skip's doctors, hospitals, insurance companies etc. and call each of them until you can find out who's the social worker. Ideally there's more than one involved. But there should be at least one.

Social workers often run support groups for patients, caregivers & supporters to get to talk about their situation and how they feel about it. This is a tremendous stress reliever, moral support and sometimes a place to discover new wisdom from other people who are also suffering. Ask if there are such groups. If there are some support groups that welcome friends, offer to go if Skip would like the company.

Skip needs someone to help him through the paperwork for at least a temporary disability claim, as well as Medicare or whatever else he's paid for in payroll taxes all his life. There may need to be an attorney involved, who won't need to get paid up front but will get a commission on the initial lump-sum payment when it comes through. Sometimes insurance companies will take care of getting the attorneys on board.

The government "safety net" programs typically deny people several times to dissuade fraud, which unfortunately increases pain and uncertainty for people with a legitimate need. Knowing how to work through the system's requirements is the way that the attorney earns their pay. (I'm not here to defend the system, just to report on how it currently is.) These are specialists, by the way, who fight the system every day; the trust fund lawyer is very unlikely to be equipped for this fight.

So your first task is to work with the social workers to help make sure Skip's applying for all the help that is already due to him from the government. Social workers typically also can advise about other charities. Meanwhile you can call the American Cancer Society and see if they offer any help for people in Skip's condition. They may not be able to without a diagnosis from an oncologist.

There should also be someone who can give straight answers about medical leave law, Skip's right to keep his job, what happens with his sick days, etc. Might be the employer's HR department, might be the union if he's in one, might be the payroll processing service. There should be someone who can give straight answers about policies, procedures and options. You might be able to pull together this information, if Skip authorizes you to do so. The trust fund lawyer might be able to gather some of this information with a polite request, no intimidation required.

Skip needs to send a form letter to each of his creditors, letting them know he's in a medical situation that may keep him from working. He should promise to make token minimum payments on everything as long as he can afford to do so, and instruct them that according to the Fair Credit Reporting Act they are required & demanded to follow the law in not making any further phone calls to him. If any collectors violate this, log the call and sue the hell out of 'em. You can help him with this paperwork. Ask the trust fund lawyer to help with this.

You should also immediately ask each of his utility companies for whatever medical emergency paperwork they have to keep the utilities on with minimal payments if he is too disabled to work. You calling them as a friend is probably more powerful than hearing from the attorney.

Next, set up a blog with an about page giving a one-page overview of Skip's condition, and weekly updates. When there is a test, diagnosis, news (good or bad), you can update the blog. This means that everyone who cares about Skip can check the site, and he doesn't have to keep explaining things over and over. A quick call each week to the social worker should be enough for you to be able to get a basic layman's version of any medical jargon.

If there are alternative medical schools in Skip's area, such as naturopathic and acupuncture/traditional Chinese medicine, they often have low-cost community clinics. Might as well try anything that doesn't conflict with standard treatment and is unlikely to have side effects. Some people are very much helped by these things.

Now let's get to the Internet part. Ideally, at least one social worker would be willing to field inquiries from people wanting to find out the story is true. With Skip's authorization, you could put this person's contact information on the about page for those who want to check out the story. As soon as the trust fund is set up, get a Paypal account for it and set up a Donate button. If people are willing to contribute things for sale on Skip's behalf, use your choice of affiliate marketing script that sends the order to the donor but puts 100% of the money into the fund. I don't know how this works on eBay but someone here might.

If you want to know how I know about all this, we can follow up with PM and I'll give you the social worker's contact information, but I want that private material to be kept out of the public forum.

I hope there's some good starting points here for you. My prayers are with you and Skip and I thank you for being a kind, caring person.

Chris

P.S. Just noticed you're a War Room member. Worth a shot to see if the moderators would let you have a thread in there as well, which could potentially grow into an excellent discussion of how to use IM for charitable causes.

Thanks for the ideas, suggestions and advice so far.
I'll follow up on them and see what develops.

Tsnyder

Why can't Skip get on state assistance or appy for social security? Social Security takes a while to get on but if he is as sick as you say then he shouldn't be working and could easily qualify. I think this is the route you should suggest to Skip.

Well, you may be wrong about this...lemme explain.

If there is a county hospital near where he lives, they will do any and all medical evaluations, treatments, surgeries, etc. free of charge. I was uninsured for a time and needed back surgery. I was able to go to the county hospital and was operated on by one of the best surgeons in Chicago and didn't owe one red cent afterwards. All the aftercare, prescriptions, etc. were also covered.

Might be something to look into for him, as if this is an option, it could solve ALL his problems immediately!

If you need further help finding info, please feel free to send me a PM with the specifics and I'll be glad to help you research resources.

Years ago, my mother quit smoking and gained a ton of weight. Okay maybe not a TON...but she got fat. She started having what sounds like the same kind of pain as Skip. They also did xrays and bone scans (these test the density of the bones and let them know if osteoporosis or something similar may be the cause) and sure enough, she also had multiple fractures in both of her feet.

It's not common, but it can happen.

I am not really at the money making level where I can donate, but I do have an idea for you to run by your friends/family.

Around my neighborhood we have had past instances where someone has had an illness such as cancer, and would hold a fundraiser at a nearby bowling ally or large bar. We would post flyers at all the local stores, firestation, train station, etc. asking people to come and for local businesses to donate items to auction off.

We usually charged a $20-30 door charge that all went to the fundraiser.

We help "split the pot raffles", where people would buy raffle tickets for a cash prize...half the money went to the winner and the other half to the fundraiser. We also had raffles of a lot of different items...anything from a bottle of wine, professional sports tickets, vacations, and HD TV's.

The trick to these fundraisers is to market them to get people to go. Then when they get there, show them a fun time and they will spend some money.

I hope Skip all the best, and I hope you can figure out a way to get money raised for him.

I agree with JEL0221. I don't think you should confine your efforts to only IM. I would look to involving the local community as much as possible. There are many people who pay insurance and when the time comes to use it, they get no where. Have you perhaps tried your local church groups? I have a couple of blogs and would be glad to allow you to make a post or put up a link to direct people to a page where you can present an offer. Of course I would like to check it out first but I will send out a mail to my list and get their imput. I like the idea of IM being used to assist charity. Let me know where you are and PM me. I will hep where I can

Anyone else? Or should I be contacting people privately?

I hate sounding clueless but, like I said, the make money segment
of IM is something I've never been involved with so I don't have
the gigantic list or any product that is likely to be of interest to
them. I also don't have JV connections in that market.

Tsnyder

I feel for him. I know what living in constant pain is. Coming up on 2 years for me. there is no relief. The pain is the same standing, sitting or lying down. Doc had me on 120 mg/twice a day of morphine for 6 months and I hated it, it only took the edge off, I still in pain just a little scatter brained on top of that. When I decided to get off it, his idea was to up the dose! I had to go outside of insurance to get off it as he said the withdrawal would kill me at that dose and refused to order a withdrawal protocol. Ended up doing it myself in 10 days with only night sweats for symptoms (Spent a ton on supplements and amino acid drips though). At the time, I wouldn't have minded not waking up and if I let it get to me, I know if I had a dog in this much pain, I'd put him down.

I only play with newbies in the mmo niche and only long enough to send them here to the experts. (I don't make any money in it). Not a rich guy, but willing to make a donation when you set everything up. With him having more than just the foot problem, he only has to have a doctor say he would probably be out of work over a year to get SSDI with no limits on how much money he has. They tend to turn a lot down as they don't have much money (we are spending it not catching Bin Laden) but worth applying for. I started on line and couldn't finish and they called me the next day and we finished it on the phone. I expect by the time they do anything (takes up to 5 months) I hope to not need it anymore, but the retro amount might pay off a car and credit card or two (or pay one of the houses down so the mortgage isn't higher than it is worth!). Worth a try anyway.

Tell you one thing, will never live up to my means again. Made good money off line for a long time. Nut is 5 digits. Will take me a while to net that on line I think. Unless I get lucky. (which after the divorce I might) Lol.
Prayers are with him

Dog Scout, the key to getting approved is getting an attorney. That's what I did and I am getting presumtive pay while they are reviewing my case. They think it will be approved though. So try to talk to an attorney and they should be able to help you with getting approved. Most people who don't use an attorney don't get approved the first time. I hope this helps you!

Hi Terry,

You are a true friend to Skip.

When you get things set up I'll be in for the $xx payment for the special sale. Also I'm sure I can find something to donate to the mix of products. I don't have a specific thing in mind right now but I'll come up with something good.

Having said that, please let me say this, many people in the U.S. don't really know what is available for the asking. I've personally been close to people who have negotiated medical bills from 5 figures down to hundreds. I've had friends who were shocked to find out that local clinics and county hospitals are required by law to treat people on ability to pay.

The most important thing a sick person can have in the time of need is an advocate. You seem to be that advocate. Keep it up. Don't give up here, but, please be open to the fact that there are agencies, doctors, hospitals and gov. programs there to help.

I know, I've been in the middle of many a persons need over the years and even recently.

George Wright

Hey, thanks, George.

All offline sources are being pursued... thanks to others for some
of those tips... but I'm going to keep pursuing this until I either
attract all the people we need or get banned for being a nuisance... lol

I really believe that online is going to produce the results we need
quicker than offline.

So... come on, folks... let's hear more!

Tsnyder

Hi Tsynder,

Your post reminds me of some stuff I learned way back when in college when we talked about the psychology of helping. Specifically -- people are more likely to help when it's CLEAR the person needs help. And you can get help more easily if you point to someone specifically and tell them exactly what you need.

Your original post is a bit ambivalent. Even you say that nothing is solicited and that you're still verifying everything. So we have a bunch of virtual onlookers standing around trying to figure out if this is an emergency or not. And ambivalence leads to inaction.

It sounds to me like you've decided to do a firesale. If so, move forward with it (assuming you've done your necessary verifications). Tell people what you need. Maybe edit your original post to reflect what you know now and so that people understand what, exactly, you want from them.

At the very least, make a post after this and get straight to the point. Tell us exactly what you're going to do and how you'd like people to help. Be specific.

I'm guessing you'll get more responses that way.

Cheers,
Becky

P.S. If you are indeed doing a firesale, I can find something to throw into the sale. Also, you sure can contact people you know privately to ask for donations.

Thanks Rebecca...

I understand what you're saying. The post is a bit ambivalent because
my only purpose really was to outline the situation and seek advice on how
best to proceed with online methods.

Everything else is in progress. A local bank has agreed to participate
in managing the account... our lawyer is putting the final touches on
the legal stuff.

I'll be back when everything is in place to begin the marketing push!

Thanks again to all who offered suggestions and assistance.

Tsnyder