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My WEAK Landing Page

by Burtgummer
20 replies
Hey Warriors!

Most of you probably know of my current plan with article marketing from a thread I made about a week ago. I'm still waiting for my first batch of articles to come in, but they should be here soon. In the mean time, I've been trying to work on my landing page.

I'm promoting weight loss 4 idiots. I honestly don't care about revealing it because we have ALL heard about it. It's not like it's some small niche that I can dominate.

Anyways, I've been trying to utilize photoshop to make simple graphics to catch my reader's attention.

I'd really appreciate any input on what I should fix. In fact, I would like to know if there are any better themes for free, or at least a low price, to get. This theme just doesn't seem to fit in my opinion.

So, if this were YOUR landing page, what would you change/add/take away? I will be split testing several landing pages, but I'd like to start off on the right foot.

Here is the landing page My ?Top Secret? System For Ultra-Quick Weight Loss | Fat Burning For Dummies
Thanks for everyones input! I just really think that my previous landing pages have been my aquiles heel, making my conversion rate ultra-low.

Regards,
Sean B
#landing #page #weak
  • Profile picture of the author paulie888
    Sean, I can quite honestly say that the page really looks way too cluttered! I'm not even sure what to begin reading on it, and I'm guessing your conversion rate on this has been extremely low? I'd start with a simple squeeze page instead of a blog myself. You're not using PPC at all, so there's no need to worry about satisfying the big 'G' with a high quality score for your blog/landing page. This way you can build your list (priceless!) and redirect them to the weight loss 4 idiots sales page after that, and in the process you're killing two birds with one stone.
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  • Profile picture of the author mr2monster
    There's a WSO going right now that is giving away a bunch of free landing pages. no opt in or anything... Go check it out. I think there's a weight loss on in the pack.
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  • Profile picture of the author King Shiloh
    Banned
    Sean, I like graphics a lot. So, I would like to see your picture before and after losing 80 pounds. That alone tells a lot of story about the authenticity of your weight loss program.

    I believe some of the visitors to your site like graphics too but they have seen nothing or they have not seen what I have just stated above.
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  • Profile picture of the author LivingCovers
    I could redesign your blog for you with a custom made one. You can check out one I created some weeks back at;

    www.electric-scooters-guide.com

    And let me know what you think about it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Lady
    I was surprised by your link; the article that precedes it has such clean lines and informative content that it does not appear to merge cohesively with your link.
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    Best Wishes Lee

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  • Profile picture of the author BethHewitt
    Hey there, I totally agree with Paulie on this one, I think you would be better with a squeeze page that gets people hooked you could do a video on why people need this or before and after pictures of your weight loss.

    I personally feel blogs should be used to personally brand yourself and then over time you will be able to market pretty much anything.

    Let us know what you decide to do.

    Beth
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    • Profile picture of the author Wham
      As Paulie said it's a bit cluttered. The words should be a little more organized around the pictures.

      Not sure that theme is right for this, all those areas on the right are a bit distracting.

      Also after reading it, it feels like someone is just trying to sell me something. An informative review site about the product would win me over more, anything that doesn't sound like you're trying to sell it.
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      • Profile picture of the author Burtgummer
        Originally Posted by Wham View Post

        As Paulie said it's a bit cluttered. The words should be a little more organized around the pictures.

        Not sure that theme is right for this, all those areas on the right are a bit distracting.

        Also after reading it, it feels like someone is just trying to sell me something. An informative review site about the product would win me over more, anything that doesn't sound like you're trying to sell it.
        So a review style landing page would be better?

        I've never really heard of which is better to use....a pre-sell or a review. I do have the review templates from Imran Naseem, so I could use those for a review style.

        As far as the clutter goes.....I don't know how to get rid of it. To be honest, I don't like the theme at all, but I can't find any other wordpress themes that don't cost a fair sum of money. I'd rather pay $100 for more articles than $100 for a wordpress theme. Maybe if I already had traffic, but I'd like at least a trickle of sales before investing more in a landing page.
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        “Today's scientists have substituted mathematics for experiments, and they wander off through equation after equation, and eventually build a structure which has no relation to reality.” -Nikola Tesla

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        • Profile picture of the author Wham
          Originally Posted by Burtgummer View Post

          So a review style landing page would be better?

          I've never really heard of which is better to use....a pre-sell or a review. I do have the review templates from Imran Naseem, so I could use those for a review style.

          As far as the clutter goes.....I don't know how to get rid of it. To be honest, I don't like the theme at all, but I can't find any other wordpress themes that don't cost a fair sum of money. I'd rather pay $100 for more articles than $100 for a wordpress theme. Maybe if I already had traffic, but I'd like at least a trickle of sales before investing more in a landing page.
          I'm not in anyway an expert I just think anything that doesn't sound like your selling something will always work better. Fatloss4idiots has a pretty good page to convince users to buy, I say let them do the selling, you just get visitors to click that link. A good honest review that doesn't sound like you work for them would do well I think. Maybe talk about your personal journey with it but not in a salesy way I guess if that makes any sense.

          As for the clutter it just takes a lot of messing around, switching themes and trial and error. Wordpress has a few nice free themes in your wordpress admin panel. I agree though I'd rather pay for articles, you could easily do fine on free themes.
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          • Profile picture of the author Zero
            Why not try video?
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    • Profile picture of the author Lady
      Originally Posted by BethHewitt View Post

      Hey there, I totally agree with Paulie on this one, I think you would be better with a squeeze page that gets people hooked you could do a video on why people need this or before and after pictures of your weight loss.

      I personally feel blogs should be used to personally brand yourself and then over time you will be able to market pretty much anything.

      Let us know what you decide to do.

      Beth
      Good stuff Beth, I will try that for myself.
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      Best Wishes Lee

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  • Profile picture of the author sts2k
    you might want to try to grab the visitors attention
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    PM me if you are interested in working with a skilled development team.

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  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
    Sean, if you personally really did use this product to guide you to lose 80 pounds, congratulations... and that's a personal story you really should share on your site. Include your before and after photos. Include your real name. Tell us what happened.

    If you did not personally use this product to lose 80 pounds in your own real life, then you're setting up a fraudulent scam based on a bald-faced lie. Even if you can sleep soundly while being deceitful, remember that the FTC has said that this is exactly the kind of misrepresentation that they want to crack down hard on this year.

    I think you need to either tell your own story, or don't tell a fake story. If it's not the literal truth that you used this product to lose 80 pounds, then talk instead about the product, and what other people have (honestly!) experienced with it. If your opener does include the truth, then you should share that experience boldly.

    Chris
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  • Profile picture of the author Website Tuner Articles
    Hi there,

    I think there is to much text on your landing page.
    You should use some nice pictures to draw attention..
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  • Profile picture of the author Marketstriker
    I also firstly paid my attention to the blog structure, catagories, blogroll, but not to the title as it should be. Design it better, add colors. Text is good, but it's to much of it on the page.
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  • Profile picture of the author AndrewStark
    At the moment this is a splog, and if I clicked to this page via an article then I would be closing the window asap. The theme is ok, but posting banner adverts in the text of the article is something that drives me mad.

    Fill the blog with lots of articles about weight loss, and focus on the content.

    In the sidebar add an opt-in form for a free report, truthaboutabs has a rebrandable report you could use.

    Agree with the previous people that you should only be using I lost 80lb if you can prove that it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Adam Richards
    Sean,

    That first graphic (Unique 11 Day Meal Plan; Innovative Eating Routine...) definitely needs to be changed. It reminds me of those ads in any news article, and people don't read them. They just skip over them, which totally defeats the purpose.

    I did the same thing!

    It's great to list your benefits, but I think you could just do it in the article without turning it into a graphic.

    In fact, there are just too many graphics on the page, period. They distract from the actual content of your article.

    Also, I definitely agree with Chris: if you have before and after pics of yourself, definitely post them up at the top!
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  • Profile picture of the author mawhitney
    WordPress is good to use for the main web page, but just use an html editor, like Nvu, for your landing page. Here's a good formula to follow:

    Headline
    Subheadline

    From:Your name

    Dear friend,

    Discover how to...
    -Bullet point 1
    -Bullet point 2
    -Bullet point 3
    -Bullet point 4
    -Bullet point 5
    -Bullet point 6

    Enter name and email below.
    - Opt-in form here -
    - Privacy policy here -

    Think about a landing page that hooked your attention and what got you to opt-in.
    Model your page after that one.

    There are videos on YouTube that show you how to make a successful landing page. Also, google sample headlines to model and make it fit your niche.

    Hope this helps.

    To your success,
    Mike
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  • Profile picture of the author customertools
    Text font should be larger, page should be split into section, for easy skimming and reading. Sales page styles I think work best. If you look at mine (in my signature) it's terrible copy, but it's easy to digest and get what the product is about.
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    • Profile picture of the author Burtgummer
      It is actually a story from my family member, not me. True story none-the-less. It's amazing what a solid eating plan will do.

      I'll try my hand at making a review style instead. Are personal stories losing their flavor?

      I haven't driven traffic to this landing page yet. In fact, this is a completely new niche to me. I was in the mafia wars niche, but a conversion of 1/350 wasn't good for me, especially on a $17 payout instead of a $30 payout.
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      “Today's scientists have substituted mathematics for experiments, and they wander off through equation after equation, and eventually build a structure which has no relation to reality.” -Nikola Tesla

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