A personal apology from me.

[Andyhenry]

Hi Warriors,

It's been brought to my attention that along with my straight talking attitude sometimes comes a harsh edge that results in some people thinking that my matter-of-fact message is somehow negative and even condescending.

I'm not a guru or someone special - just a normal guy trying to do the best I can with the resources I have.

Obviously no-one likes to hear those sort of things said about them, and I'm particular sensitive to such criticism as I've struggled in many ways during my life and I aspire to be so much more than just the lessons of those times.

So, rather than just ignore that feedback or pretend like those people just don't understand - I'd like to apologise.

If I said anything recently (or ever) that rained on your parade or took away any of a good feeling that you had before my comment and not afterwards - I'm truly sorry.

I can only see things from my perspective (it's the only one I have), so I rely on feedback in order to let me know when I'm not behaving in the way I would like to or that I aspire to.

If you don't know what I'm talking about - Just ignore this dramatic interlude, but if you do, please take my post seriously and remove any negativity I may have induced, it's not good for you or me.

Thanks for your time and consideration.

Andy

[Dennis Cheesman]

Hello Andy,

You are areally great guy, and I myself like the straight talk... I would rather be told straight up than to be lied to or sweet talked..

Trust me it will help people more to be told straight up in the long run..

Dennis

[Joseph Then]

What's wrong with being straight forward? It is many times better than beating around the bush!

[Sheryl Polomka]

I think you can tell it straight without sounding nasty, there's a difference between telling it straight and being nasty I think.

I only say this as I have felt offended before with some comments made - and although it was a while back, I do believe we may have had words in the past Andy as a result of your comments.

However, I hold no grudges and I understand your intentions were not meant to be nasty. You are obviously someone with some very good knowledge and advice and I'm sure we all appreciate your input on the forum.

[Sirius Lin]

Keep straight-talking, Andy. You know some of us appreciate it!

~ Sirius

[Monetize]

People come here for advice, recommendations &
suggestions and that's what they should receive.
We're all adults here and this is a business forum,
so people need to grow up and deal with what is
really real. Don't sugarcoat! And don't apologize!

[Lesley Huntley]

Exactly, I'd rather have the harsh truth than sweet lies.

[Andyhenry]

Originally Posted by Lesley Huntley

Exactly, I'd rather have the harsh truth than sweet lies.

I'm sure many people feel the same, however there's obviously a fine line between harsh truth and when you start to offend people.

You can't please everyone and I'm not trying to, but I have to accept that if people feel the need to tell me that I'm out of order - I have a responsibility to consider how to improve my communication if I can. At least taking responsibility for it so that people who have never met me and can't read my good nature into words posted on the forum is something I need to consider if I'm going to keep posting here.

Andy

[Dennis Cheesman]

Hello Andy,

Maybe you should start your replies with a disclaimer?

Warning: if you are easily affended or can't handle the truth please skip this reply...

Dennis

[keithakin]

Andy,

I think it is really big of you to be able to put the ego to the side and apologize for something you feel is necessary.

I do like to hear things straight up, like everyone else. However, straight up doesn't have to be degrading.

I have had nothing but good experiences with you.

I am sure no one here thinks you are the big bad wolf!

Keep shooting it straight!

[Alan Petersen]

I'm glad you posted this. I respect you a lot and read your posts but you did zap the life out of the other warriors thread.

There is a difference between being a straight talker and being condescending to other folks. Although I'm certain that wasn't your intention that is how it came out. Cups of coffee vary worldwide so perhaps in his town he can buy a lot more then you can in the UK. I was in London last year and I'm still in sticker shock over the price of everything there.

Cheers!

Alan

[Andyhenry]

Originally Posted by Alan Petersen

I'm glad you posted this. I respect you a lot and read your posts but you did zap the life out of the other warriors thread.

There is a difference between being a straight talker and being condescending to other folks. Although I'm certain that wasn't your intention that is how it came out. Cups of coffee vary worldwide so perhaps in his town he can buy a lot more then you can in the UK. I was in London last year and I'm still in sticker shock over the price of everything there.

Cheers!

Alan

Hi Alan,

That's the main reason for this thread.

When I mentioned the coffee is was really a reflection of the fact that I'd just been to Starbucks and I still can't believe how much they charge, nothing to do with me and my holier-than-thou fancy lifestyle or however it came across.

I actually got a message from the OP in the thread you're referring to and he thanked me and we're chatting via PM - but it's the other people who jumped in on his behalf which were the ones I actually offended.

Regardless - I'm not trying to tell anyone how to live their life and if someone gets offended, it's as real to them as if I meant it so I'm still sorry.

Andy

[Asher]

Hi Andy,

Straight-talking is fine except that sometimes, it's better to do it with
tact, or some diplomacy skills. Which I'm sure you have plenty of =D

I agree with Lesley with harsh truth and sweet lies.

With the newbies, gentle truth. For the more advanced, harsh truth.
If they don't take it, there's no issue for you, is there? Since you're
telling it as is.

Asher

[garyv]

Andy - You've done a great job at expressing your good nature with this post. And the ability to be able to edit yourself is admirable.

It should be the goal of all of us, to better ourselves as human beings. But you'd be surprised at how hard self awareness is for some people. I include myself in that "some people". Sometimes it takes an outside source to point out our flaws. And hopefully that outside source does it in a friendly and constructive manner. You've done a great job at being constructive with your criticism.

Thanks for the post.

[Hesaidblissfully]

It can be hard to communicate on the internet without the verbal equivalent of a wardrobe malfunction. Sometimes even innocuous comments can come of short or condescending, let alone "straight talk".

One thing I always try to do is to follow up criticism by saying something positive about the person or what they're doing. If people feel like you at least understand where they're coming from, there's much less of a tendency for them to feel attacked and get defensive.

So it might be like:

"I really don't think xyz about your sales page is a good idea. But it's good that you included abc, and it looks much better than what I probably would have come up with when I was just starting out. I think if you make those changes John mentioned, it'll be much more effective..."

Something like that.

[Mary Gallivan]

Hi Andy

It's already in black and white - 'Beware - Straight Talker' and that's what you do.

Not all people like that, some get very easily offended if they don't hear what they want to.

I remember getting upset by something you said to me not so long ago, but to be fair to you, it was the best bit of advice you gave me and I will move forward from it. I keep meaning to write to you to thank you for it and will do so soon.

I think all constructive criticism is healthy and helpful and I believe that's what you provide and you always do it in a nice helpful way.

Keep up the good work!!

Best wishes

Mary

[Angela V. Edwards]

Andy, I personally, have never seen you be unkind. Yes, you "straight talk" to people, but you are not mean or cruel by any stretch of the imagination. I count on the fact that if you tell me something, that's the way it is. I really appreciate that, too.

[rapidscc]

Hi Andy,

We all know that you are a straight-talker. Though you come in strongly there are times we need it.

If all of us here are smooth talkers nothing good will come out of it :-)

Maturity, specially in this forum is knowing the value of every thoughts and ideas coming in from members whether positive or negative. That's why this is a forum, for us to hear all of the sides and ideas about the topics we post.

Last thing, It's so nice of you to ask for an apology. It shows your humility.
It also shows that even if you come in strong, you do care for the people in this forum :-)

Keep it up Mr. No2 Thank You Guy!

~RapidScc

[Martin.Avis]

Andy, hair shirts don't suit you.

You know that your intentions are good and the vast majority of people know that too.

That a few people are hyper sensitive is not your problem. They are likely to be offended if you were to shake their hand and give them a $50 bill.

Sometimes tough love and hard advice are the only things that can get through to people who are intent on making mistake after mistake. Sometimnes they'll be offended because you haven't pandered to their expectations. Others will benefit from a wake up call that will save them much time, money and frustration.

It's better to risk offending ten delicate flowers if you can actually make a difference in the life of one person who will listen.

Keep up the good work.

Martin

[DonDavis]

I have no idea what you are apologizing for, but I hope it doesn't effect the way you make your future posts. Tell it like it is.

[Kevin Riley]

I ran to get my umbrella, and then it dawned on me that you have never rained on my parade. Thinking about it some more, I realized that I don't really hold any parades. All this thinking made my brain hurt, so I paraded over to the liquor cabinet for some Irish medicine.

So, you have not rained on my parade. Instead you have driven me to drinking. The thank you card is in the mail.

[Andyhenry]

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

Instead you have driven me to drinking.

I hope you walk back then if you're going to be drunk, or someone else will need to make sure you're driven to bed

[Peter Bestel]

I'm with Martin here, Andy - hair shirts don't suit you.

Andy, most people that have got to know you from your posts realise your good intentions. If you blow off a bit of steam occasionally, well, it's good to know you're only human.

As for making a public apology, I'm a bit unsure why you felt the need - seems a tad self-indulgent and not true to form. But if this is the small price we have to pay for your excellent posts, so be it.

Peter

[Diana Lane]

I missed the coffee debate. I think the last post I read was the one I contributed to before I went to bed, in which we were talking about awesome posts where you'd really like to say 'thank you' but don't want to dilute a great thread because you've nothing of any great substance to add at the time. As I was typing I was thinking 'Pretty much any thread Andy Henry's ever started, really'.

I agree with Pete - the public apology thing doesn't seem typical, but I'm more than happy to live with it if we still get the rest. At the risk of sounding sickeningly sucky, just be yourself. It matters what other people think, but there is a limit to it.

[Kim Standerline]

I agree whole heartedly, a hair shirt definitely doesn't suit him

I've known you for a long time Andy and you've never given anything but excellent advice in that time.

If the wilting flowers can't stand the heat, they should get out of the kitchen.

This is a marketing forum people, we're known for giving you it straight
If you ask for advice etc, don't start weepin and wailin because you get it from the hip. If you want lots of cuddlesome stuff, go post somewhere like Anthony Blake

Kim

Originally Posted by Martin.Avis

Andy, hair shirts don't suit you.

You know that your intentions are good and the vast majority of people know that too.

That a few people are hyper sensitive is not your problem. They are likely to be offended if you were to shake their hand and give them a $50 bill.

Sometimes tough love and hard advice are the only things that can get through to people who are intent on making mistake after mistake. Sometimnes they'll be offended because you haven't pandered to their expectations. Others will benefit from a wake up call that will save them much time, money and frustration.

It's better to risk offending ten delicate flowers if you can actually make a difference in the life of one person who will listen.

Keep up the good work.

Martin

[Andyhenry]

Originally Posted by Peter Bestel

As for making a public apology, I'm a bit unsure why you felt the need - seems a tad self-indulgent and not true to form. But if this is the small price we have to pay for your excellent posts, so be it.

Peter

Sorry to be so melodramatic, but there were obviously people genuinely offended and I'm just holding myself accountable to them. Yeah, I could do it in the background but then only the people I know I offended get the apology and I know there are a lot more lurking that I might realise so the only real way to deal with them is to stand up and do it in their face so there's no excuses for thinking I'm trying to avoid holding myself accountable in the way I would someone else.

Andy

[AndrewCavanagh]

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

So, you have not rained on my parade. Instead you have driven me to drinking.

I can't see how this could be different to your regular routine...unless there were no hamsters involved.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh

[TimPhelan]

Andy, you're a good guy in my book, even if we got into it a couple years ago. ;-)

You help people around here as much as anyone and it is always sound advice.

Every time you apologize like this I think maybe I should, so cut it out.

[John Taylor]

At the risk of offending someone..

The worst behaviours on any forum usually come
from the vigilantes.. the people who jump to the
defence of people who don't ask to be defended.

If YOU personally are offended by another warrior's
remarks, then fine.. take it up privately.

If you presume that someone else has been offended
by a remark because of your superior MINDREADING
capabilites.. keep your comments to yourself.

That just might eliminate the unnecessary dramas from
unfolding and we can get on with discussing important
stuff such as ducks and hamsters.

John

[Michael Lee]

You've been a big help, Andy. As for me, it's fine to talk straight and honestly, as long as you're giving advice that adds value or improves the life of another.

The one thing I don't like is if people say something offensive that does nothing but pull another down. In your case, you're always helping people, and I don't find your posts rude.

So just be yourself.

[derekwong28]

Andy, I do not know what you are talking about because I haven't seen any of those threads you were referring to.

But honestly, I don't think there is any need to make a public apology of any sort. In fact, I am quite unsettled and shuddered by the regular appearance of public apologies on the WF.

We are not living in N. Korea or for that matter in China during cultural revolution. Where people who do not conform are forced to make public confessions and apologies.

-Derek

[Andyhenry]

Originally Posted by derekwong28

Andy, I do not know what you are talking about because I haven't seen any of those threads you were referring to.

But honestly, I don't think there is any need to make a public apology of any sort. In fact, I am quite unsettled and shuddered by the regular appearance of public apologies on the WF.

We are not living in N. Korea or for that matter in China during cultural revolution. Where people who do not conform are forced to make public confessions and apologies.

-Derek

Sorry Derek - I wasn't aware they were a regular occurance here.

I will be in Korea this week though - spooky you should say that.

[Martin.Avis]

I will be in Korea this week though

Just mind you don't offend anyone by apologising too much - or you might have to apologise all over again -- and all over again -- and

Martin

[Flyingpig7]

Hello Andy,

You sound like a really good guy full of integrity it does take guts & sensitivity to do this thread. (Although I have not seen what this fuss is alluding to).

I'm fairly new here been watching for a couple of months not done a website yet, but have done loads of learning & reading (ebooks don't ya just love em!).
I agree wholeheartly with Monetize & Kym that's the reason I come here to hear how the reality is in running a business & to learn.

Much appreciate your sharing this with us.

Keren

[wassim]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts Andy. You are brave to talk about your mistakes (even though I don't know what was wrong). But if you truly was wrong about something or towards someone, then it's nice of you to mention your feelings now and I am sure everyone will understand.

Anyway, you don't have to worry because it's not the end of the world. At least you didn't hurt anybody... The world is full of bad guys and you are NOT one of them. I wish you all the luck.

Regards,
Wassim

[TimPhelan]

Originally Posted by John Taylor

The worst behaviours on any forum usually come
from the vigilantes.. the people who jump to the
defence of people who don't ask to be defended.

John

Good point John. I've been guilty of that. :-0

Your comment reminded me of that post like a year ago of all the characters in forums drawn as cartoons. It was hilarious. I think one of them was "The Vigilante".

Ah, I just found it: Flame Warriors Home

No Vigilante though.

[derekwong28]

Andy, just make sure you grovel to their Great Leader when you visit Korea

YouTube - Dear Leader Kim Jong Il Is The People's...

YouTube - Capitalist "America", Socialist...

-Derek

[Paul M]

Andy, I don't really think you have anything to apologies for IMO

Personally, I like your straight talking valuable posts, an everytime
I see your name on the forum I read the posts you make.

Everyone is entitled to have an off day or an off post, we are all just
human an people shouldn't take things so personally. I think we
all know your intentions are good.

This is a business forum, an the best one at that, sometimes it
takes straight talk to get a point across.

Anyone who cant handle a little tough love and straight talking is
clearly in the wrong forum.

Regards,
paul

[discrat]

Originally Posted by Andyhenry

Hi Warriors,

It's been brought to my attention that along with my straight talking attitude sometimes comes a harsh edge that results in some people thinking that my matter-of-fact message is somehow negative and even condescending.

I'm not a guru or someone special - just a normal guy trying to do the best I can with the resources I have.

Obviously no-one likes to hear those sort of things said about them, and I'm particular sensitive to such criticism as I've struggled in many ways during my life and I aspire to be so much more than just the lessons of those times.

So, rather than just ignore that feedback or pretend like those people just don't understand - I'd like to apologise.

If I said anything recently (or ever) that rained on your parade or took away any of a good feeling that you had before my comment and not afterwards - I'm truly sorry.

I can only see things from my perspective (it's the only one I have), so I rely on feedback in order to let me know when I'm not behaving in the way I would like to or that I aspire to.

If you don't know what I'm talking about - Just ignore this dramatic interlude, but if you do, please take my post seriously and remove any negativity I may have induced, it's not good for you or me.

Thanks for your time and consideration.

Andy

Hey Andy thanks for the Post. Although you really didnt need to apologize. But it shows you are a standup guy. I guess when I saw the Coffee comment it just was one of those things that 'hit me ". Seeing this guy all excited and how he worked so hard and it was just a positive story. Then BAM !!
But I probably was just too sensitive myself. I went back and re read the title of the thread. And I see your point now. That point being how can someone tout something as being long term viable when they themselves have actually been at it for such a short unproven time.

Anyway, I must admit I am little embarrased that my comments stirred up so much emotion to warrant a whole thread.
Sorry for being oversensitive and I say keep up the great info. and knowledge you supply here !!

[Steve Steinitz]

Hello,

I feel that, sure, one can 'talk straight' but that, in its highest form, it carries a responsibility of extra editing, fact checking, reflecting and underlying kindness. If by 'straight-talking' we mean blatantly disagreeing with what someone has expressed, then I feel it would reflect well on the 'straight-talker' to undertake such censure with a sense of earning the right to 'straight talk'.

I understand that others may feel that anyone, anywhere, anytime has the right to 'talk straight' and I confess indulgence in from-the-hip straight-talk myself.

Steve

[Harold Hsu]

Andy might seem to have a sharp tongue at times on this forum, but he's actually a really, truly approachable guy in real life. I believe there is a significant number of people in this forum who can vouch for that.

Now, if he was some newbie internet marketer going around spewing nonsense, I wouldn't have even bothered to post this reply.

But Andy's been there and done all that. He knows what he's talking about (at least when it comes to making money online), and even though his messages may not be covered in honey and chocolate-rice sprinkles, I think they contain a lot of truth that I often find scarce in the online realm.

I would rather be smacked in the head and told that I'm wrong rather than to have someone smile at me and say, "it's okay... just keep on doing what you're doing... maybe one day you'll succeed."

I really do love honey and chocolate-rice sprinkles though. Yummy.

[Kevin Riley]

Originally Posted by John Taylor

At the risk of offending someone..

The worst behaviours on any forum usually come
from the vigilantes.. the people who jump to the
defence of people who don't ask to be defended.

If YOU personally are offended by another warrior's
remarks, then fine.. take it up privately.

If you presume that someone else has been offended
by a remark because of your superior MINDREADING
capabilites.. keep your comments to yourself.

That just might eliminate the unnecessary dramas from
unfolding and we can get on with discussing important
stuff such as ducks and hamsters.

John

I AM OFFENDED!

How dare you put ducks before hamsters? You dress-wearing, chicken-squeezing, sheep-gut-gobbling heathen!

[John Taylor]

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

I AM OFFENDED!

How dare you put ducks before hamsters? You dress-wearing, chicken-squeezing, sheep-gut-gobbling heathen!

Sheesh! You have to duck before the hamster hits you when
they reach wheel warp speed. I thought you knew all these
things Kevin?



John

[Allen Graves]

Glad you posted this instead of trying to take up for your actions by speaking in the third person and spouting out generalizations!

AL

[Ron Douglas]

Originally Posted by Andyhenry

Hi Warriors,

It's been brought to my attention that along with my straight talking attitude sometimes comes a harsh edge that results in some people thinking that my matter-of-fact message is somehow negative and even condescending.

I'm not a guru or someone special - just a normal guy trying to do the best I can with the resources I have.

Obviously no-one likes to hear those sort of things said about them, and I'm particular sensitive to such criticism as I've struggled in many ways during my life and I aspire to be so much more than just the lessons of those times.

So, rather than just ignore that feedback or pretend like those people just don't understand - I'd like to apologise.

If I said anything recently (or ever) that rained on your parade or took away any of a good feeling that you had before my comment and not afterwards - I'm truly sorry.

I can only see things from my perspective (it's the only one I have), so I rely on feedback in order to let me know when I'm not behaving in the way I would like to or that I aspire to.

If you don't know what I'm talking about - Just ignore this dramatic interlude, but if you do, please take my post seriously and remove any negativity I may have induced, it's not good for you or me.

Thanks for your time and consideration.

Andy

I am offended by this apology. I think it's uncalled for. If you don't go back to being the old Andy, we're going to remove your "Beware - Straight Talker" title effective immediately.

[richdirtygirl]

I love straight shooters...

It is simple actually... anyone with a SIZE will make shadow under the sun... and you know... those who are under the shadow might not be happy about it...

now... is it your business?

This apology was a nice move...

RDG

[Steven Wagenheim]

Andy:

Since I've been here, I can count on one hand, the number of my threads
that you've actually agreed with what I said. Most times, I'm told under
no uncertain terms what an idiotic statement I've made.

It used to bug the crap out of me.

Today, I actually wait for your replies and read them carefully.

Why?

Because like it or not, there is a lot of wisdom in what you say. So I look
to see where I can learn from your criticism of me, which is pretty consistent,
which does tell me one thing.

You and I think worlds apart.

And that's fine. I remember one of my college roomies (long time ago)
whenever we'd talk about anything, and I mean ANYTHING, we'd end up
arguing. We agreed on nothing. Literally nothing. He was a democrat and
I was a republican. And from those basic political differences, we were
worlds apart.

We couldn't even agree on sports.

And let me tell you, if you think I'm defensive now, you should have seen
me when I was 21.

But over the past few months, I've mellowed. I honestly don't give a rat's
behind what anybody thinks of me anymore. Because in the grand scheme
of things, it matters very little.

Nobody here pays my mortgage.
Nobody here sends my daughter to college.
Nobody here holds my hand at night when I get scared.
Nobody here really cares if tonight is my last night on earth.

The people who matter most in my life, my daughter and my wife, THEY
are the only ones whose opinions of me matter. And if THEY tell me I'm
acting like an ass (which they've both done) THEN and ONLY then do I
have to seriously consider making the necessary changes.

As for you my friend, don't change. I wouldn't believe it anyway. You are
who you are. Some people will like you for it and some won't.

Welcome to living.

I choose to spend my time on more constructive things than worrying
about somebody picking one of my posts apart.

Split testing my campaigns.
Making sure my products are solid.
Sharpening my marketing skills.
Sharpening my copywriting skills.

And so on.

Because the rest of it...is just bull sh*t.

How is that for straight talk?

[dbarnum]

No idea what you're talking about, Andy, as far as apologizing -- wow, always miss the good stuff

Hot chocolate drinker here, so cheers, friend!! Glad you’re still coming back

[SusanneUK]

Originally Posted by Harold Hsu

Andy might seem to have a sharp tongue at times on this forum, but he's actually a really, truly approachable guy in real life. I believe there is a significant number of people in this forum who can vouch for that.

I am one of them.

Don't change a thing Andy

Sue

[TMG Enterprises]

I have read a good many of your posts recently. They are generally thought provoking and pretty blunt but for the most part, I find myself agreeing with what you post.

Have some come across a bit on the harsh side? Yes.

While I think it's nice of you to apologize, I think that there are many forum members that should get thicker skins. If you want to chat with Little Mary Sunshine, I'm pretty sure she frequents a different forum.

One thing I've noticed, though, is that it's rarely the OP who seems to be offended by your posts. For some reason, there are those who have designated themselves as the forum protector (or something like that) and seem to leap in where they are not needed.

If someone is offended by what you say directly to them, then they should be the one to speak up.

Just my two and a half cents,
Tina G