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My Turn for a Critique?

by write-stuff
15 replies
Don't hold back, now. Be brutal.
And thank you. - Russ

www.SixSecondSales.com
#critique #turn
  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Molano
    I like it!

    Very nice concept and you are remarkably honest, you don't claim to have invented all these secret techniques, it's just straight to the point "I teach proven methods invented by other people because I'm good at it." It is also relatively hype free. I like the approach.

    You are not selling a magic pill or dreams, but you are selling techniques in a professional way.

    There are some typos and the flow of the sales letter could improve (not that you are charging anything), but all around I like it, let me know when you have that demo lesson up.

    It might not appeal to the dream seekers or riches overnight crowd, but it will appeal to people who take their business seriously and professionaly (it really interested me after reading it).

    The headline could also improve, remember that the headline is all about catching the reader's attention.

    Daniel
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  • Profile picture of the author AlexKaplo
    Originally Posted by write-stuff View Post

    Don't hold back, now. Be brutal.
    The first thing that hit me when I opened your site is a bunch of text and not the title. Personally, when I go an a website that doesn't have anything that instantly catches my eye I naturally push the back button on my mouse or exit immediately. Your sales copy is very very good and is straight to the point which I like!

    But, I would replace the the second image of the timer (which looks almost exactly like the one right on top of it) and put some real emphasis on the title, make it more exciting by saying something like "TIMES OUT!" instead of starting off with (It's very simple)... Hope this helps man!


    Regards,

    -Alex Kaplo
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  • Profile picture of the author write-stuff
    Excellent, guys. Thanx, I already made some changes based on your suggestions. - Russ
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  • Profile picture of the author Mad Dawg
    You might want to consider breaking up the paragraphed text a little bit. I would say its usually good to stick to no more than 4 lines in a row.

    While it is an opt in page and you want it to be short, a bigger font might help improve readability.

    For the most part though it looks great. Sign me up!
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  • Profile picture of the author Norma Holt
    To be perfectly brutal, and remember you asked for it, I lost interest before six seconds. There is nothing there to grab my attention. What are you trying to achieve?

    Are you selling something? Offering something? Helping someone? or what? If you truly loose someone in the first six seconds then sorry, that's what happened to me.

    Suggestion: State your case up front. Put your best offer in the title. Grab their attention with the right words not the negative vibes you are using at the moment.

    Who needs to know you loose someone in sex seconds?

    This is all food for thought. Hope it helps.
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  • Profile picture of the author Norma Holt
    I did not mean 'sex' in the above comment. It was meant to be 'six' but come to think of it that might be an improvement as folks may stick around to discover more?

    Like, how good are you?
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    Roman Emperor Constantine <> Who wrote the New Testament <> Crimes Against Humanity <>
    My reincarnation and spirituality <> The Big Picture <> Save Planet Earth <>
    Murder by Plastic <> The Great Roman Conspiracy <>
    Twitter with me
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  • Profile picture of the author write-stuff
    Excellent again! I'm loving it. Keep 'em coming. Make it hurt.
    Oh, and I'm probably not as good as I think I am. ;-)
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  • Profile picture of the author Punkaj Dube
    Make your optin box more attractive.
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  • Profile picture of the author LeannaLuck
    I thought I would add that I think it looks great. There are always small changes that can be made to most sites. The great thing is that you are asking for suggestions and looking to make the site better. Great job.
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    • Profile picture of the author Emailrevealer
      I like it but I would put a bit more space between the sections and paragraphs. It "feels"short. Like it should scroll a bit longer.

      Maybe add some testimonials.
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  • Profile picture of the author write-stuff
    Thanx all. I've spruced it up some more. Although I haven't moved the optin box (yet?), I did add some background graphics. Any improvement?
    - Russ

    I added a "Join Now" button above the fold. Y'all think that would do it?
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  • Profile picture of the author tommygadget
    Two suggestions:
    1) Popup subscriber box that appears after 6 seconds.
    2) Clock image in text on left should be animated counting down the last 6 seconds.

    TomG.
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