Be Brutal! I Need Your Help!

Ok - it's awful (to put it mildly). Tear it down...there are too many things wrong to list.

Hire a professional graphic designer. Then hire a professional copywriter.

This should help: Let me google that for you

You've gotten some good advice. Let me approach this differently.

I always start with TARGET/TRAFFIC. Who is going to come to the web site? How will they get there? The answers to these questions determine what you put on the site.

I think I can safely assume it is a site for BEST MEN. Guys who are called upon to deliver a toast or give a short speech.

What do they want? Since I'm one of the best in the world at doing this, and get called upon to write speeches and toasts, I know a couple of things.

First, they don't want to emarrass themselves.
Second they want to make it memorable.
And they want some glory.
Anything else is icing on the wedding cake.

There is NO appeal on the site for these wants. The video is a waste. Why not put a couple of memorable toasts or at least one good speech instead of the musical slide show? It does nothing to make a sale.

A good headline will grab their attention. Keep in mind WHO's attention you want.

But before any of this, consider the very amateur look of the site. Weddings are a billion dollar industry. Couples pay thousands of dollars for their weddings. All this would lead you to believe a "professional" approach would work.

Now, I'm going to offer some suggestions.

ONE: Appeal to what the Best Man wants:

How to Give Your Best Friend the Gift of a Perfect Toast, One Which He'll Remember Forever

You can use a variety of the HOW TO approach.

Appeal to ego; Your Toast to Your Best Friend May Be the Most Important Thing at the Wedding, Here's How to Make it Unforgettable

Help from a PRO. Professional Speech Master Reveals his Secrets Which will Make You the "Toast of the Party.

If you are going to use the table of contents, then put at least 3 bullet points (preferably 5) under each chapter heading.

PLEASE lose the shading and colors. Put the order form below the video (if it is redone and has an actual toast or two).

MATCH this landing page with the main page. Keep the color scheme the same, and FYI, his main landing page is very different.

He actually has some great testimonials on the pre written speech pages, and the look is much better too.

Well, you've gotten your ear full, so now give it to him.

Good luck.

gjabiz

PS. I'd give the visitor to the page a lot more "agitation" about the IMPORTANCE of the toast and how to make it easy for him to make it great.

This is true...Always best to put out the best as it is your image.

The truth is... I've seen the most butt ugly pages convert like crazy and the most pristine, graphically rich pages choke and gasp.

So in my "thinking like a businessperson" mode, why not use what you've already made the investment in for a little while longer and establish a baseline of performance before you start tweaking changes for your conversion.

Otherwise, you're just randomly making changes without anything to measure it against.

Then you can sort of start working down a planned hit list of potential changes for testing based on some of the ideas presented here.

I agree that it's ultimately going to need some help, but what and where will the changes actually be effective -- and why?

gjabiz's great comments also got me thinking, this product may not be aimed Just at the Best Man! After all, out of everyone which one single person is the most intent on making sure everything goes perfectly, and who spends the most time and energy on this most important day of their life? Exactly! The Bride (or maybe sometimes her Mom or Mother-in-law ; )

So maybe there could also be something, or even a completely separate splash page, appealing to the bride. "Want to make sure that the Best Man doesn't Ruin your wedding with a horrible, off colour or boring speech? Then...." You get it.

I'd be really curious to see the final look of your friend's page after you both apply all the great Warrior suggestions you've been getting. I'd also love to have some idea of the improved results. So please feel free to PM me any time with an update. : )

PS Another great suggestion there by Mr. Hiles!

Well, it obviously needs a lot of work.

I will say the video accomplishes nothing. It could, for instance, have been a Best Man talking about the impression he made at his best friends wedding. How cool it all came off, even tho he always felt he was tongue-tied in the past, thanks to this wedding speech service his words brought tears to many eyes.

Almost every sales page needs a story, including this one.
_____
Bruce