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[review] landing page for offline service please

by AzzamS
10 replies
Please check out the landing page here and provide any comments.

It will be 'rented' to potential business and will get a page one listing in Google for localised keywords.

I will not be allowing the business to make any modifications to the site other then provide their details, if they have a website then can add a link.

would love some feedback.

Manchester Driving School | manchester Driving Lessons | Manchester Driving Instructor

thanks
Azzam
#landing #offline #page #review #service
  • Profile picture of the author NewbiesDiary
    wow that's really eye catching - I like it.

    If I have anything to say it'd only be to try and get it all above the fold - and it's just a little busy with the text... IMHO

    Great job
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    • Profile picture of the author AzzamS
      Originally Posted by NewbiesDiary View Post

      wow that's really eye catching - I like it.

      If I have anything to say it'd only be to try and get it all above the fold - and it's just a little busy with the text... IMHO

      Great job
      What is the monitor size you are using since it should be above the folder for what is the standard [17inch].
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  • Profile picture of the author NewbiesDiary
    oh yeah - my bad... I'm on my pissy little laptop :p

    Not sure 17" is standard for laptops
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    • Profile picture of the author AzzamS
      Originally Posted by NewbiesDiary View Post

      oh yeah - my bad... I'm on my pissy little laptop :p

      Not sure 17" is standard for laptops
      Not standard for a laptop but the standard size for screen resolution size of what people are using. So you and I on our laptops are below the fold [excuse the pun] LOL.

      I am digging the numbers for offlineNichePro, I am good with wordpress/joomla and all that. Good in the offline world [am a pretty good people person], so looking at you figures and wondering how its got on and what I need to do to duplicate that in the UK.

      The strategy for ours is to sell on the basis of Google page one listing, you rent the landing page for £x,xx a year [upfront] and the rest once on the page one of Google for the keyword we define for your niche/business. How does that sound?

      Would love to hear of your method, although I think I have understood to some degree.
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  • Profile picture of the author KhirRahman
    My comment:

    1. Make the navigation menu (Home, About, Book Now, Contact) smaller. This will make visitors more focus on the contact details area which I'm sure you wants them to fill in the space there.

    2. Benefits area: Instead of using (-), why not using "tick icon". Don't forget alignment.

    3. Testimonial: Is it 2 testimonials from 2 customers or 2 testimonial pages? if 2 testimonial pages, you should stick to one page and replace the other link such as photo gallery etc.

    just my 2 cent.
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  • Profile picture of the author Tooschee
    Things I would work at:

    1. Girls left hand - it's cutted, I would either repair it or put an some kind of icon/offer over there

    2. Girls background - put a car behind her, this way it will not feel so "empty" there

    3. Benefits box - I would work a little on typography, add some effects to the box itself ( shadow, glow , simply to look more attractive )

    4. Get in touch button - would do the same width like the beneftis button, add some goot looking icon of email/phone/contact

    5. Do the "About us" more personal, put a pic of Your cars, boss etc. good picture always draw attention.

    Overall: 6.5/10 , nicely done, but could be better
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  • Profile picture of the author Quentin
    Actually screen resolution is 1024 x 768 at 24%

    Quentin
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    • Profile picture of the author AzzamS
      Originally Posted by KhirRahman View Post

      My comment:

      1. Make the navigation menu (Home, About, Book Now, Contact) smaller. This will make visitors more focus on the contact details area which I'm sure you wants them to fill in the space there.

      2. Benefits area: Instead of using (-), why not using "tick icon". Don't forget alignment.

      3. Testimonial: Is it 2 testimonials from 2 customers or 2 testimonial pages? if 2 testimonial pages, you should stick to one page and replace the other link such as photo gallery etc.

      just my 2 cent.
      It is just two quotes, thanks man.

      Originally Posted by Tooschee View Post

      Things I would work at:

      1. Girls left hand - it's cutted, I would either repair it or put an some kind of icon/offer over there

      2. Girls background - put a car behind her, this way it will not feel so "empty" there

      3. Benefits box - I would work a little on typography, add some effects to the box itself ( shadow, glow , simply to look more attractive )

      4. Get in touch button - would do the same width like the beneftis button, add some goot looking icon of email/phone/contact

      5. Do the "About us" more personal, put a pic of Your cars, boss etc. good picture always draw attention.

      Overall: 6.5/10 , nicely done, but could be better
      Cool feedback, will look at these changes asap

      Originally Posted by Quentin View Post

      Actually screen resolution is 1024 x 768 at 24%

      Quentin
      thanks
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  • Profile picture of the author Riz
    I like the overall look and feel.

    However, you might need to make modifications to the benefits depending on who hires it. Just saying as you mentioned you will not allow any modifications.

    Also, if you are renting the site to uk businesses then you might want to change the dollar sign

    Good luck

    Riz

    Originally Posted by AzzamS View Post

    Please check out the landing page here and provide any comments.

    It will be 'rented' to potential business and will get a page one listing in Google for localised keywords.

    I will not be allowing the business to make any modifications to the site other then provide their details, if they have a website then can add a link.

    would love some feedback.

    Manchester Driving School | manchester Driving Lessons | Manchester Driving Instructor

    thanks
    Azzam
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    • Profile picture of the author AzzamS
      Originally Posted by Riz View Post

      I like the overall look and feel.

      However, you might need to make modifications to the benefits depending on who hires it. Just saying as you mentioned you will not allow any modifications.

      Also, if you are renting the site to uk businesses then you might want to change the dollar sign

      Good luck

      Riz
      Thanks Riz,

      definitely getting rid of the $ sign, thank

      as per the above comments also i will modify the benefits area to look more appealing.

      Since the actual landing rental is a one off fee which is really cheap [and a hook as part of the wider package] and they can use in their publications whilst I work on the backend getting the listing in Google and other directories and the aim is a page #1 listing in Google for keywords which is what they are really paying for.

      So they can use the landing page whilst I request a 4 - 6 week turnaround for page one ranking [usually done quicker], but by then the customer may choice to use the landing page as part of the other promotions, show family and friends. If they tie themselves into the landing page they will hopefully more committed.
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