New 'Christmas Games' Salespage Critique?

Aurora9 · 11-05-2008, 10:39 AM

Hi!

I've just finished putting together a 'Christmas games' product and I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts on it!

Here's the link--

Top 50 Wacky Christmas Games

Any suggestions on how I can make the sales page better in terms of copy or presentation?

Thanks a ton!
Lakshmi

ShayRockhold · 11-05-2008, 12:09 PM

I think the product and sales page look great, but there is only one suggestion.

You have on there that they get the bonuses if they order before January 6th. Did you mean December 6th? The January deadline looks odd.

rendell · 11-05-2008, 12:10 PM

it looks cool!

Michael Forey · 11-05-2008, 12:28 PM

Looks good to me. Might be nit picking put the price is 19.95$, may want to change to $19.95. Dont know that it will make a difference, but that is all I saw.

Take Care
Michael

Aurora9 · 11-05-2008, 01:04 PM

Hey,

Thanks everyone! Yes, I need to revise the jan deadline and make a few copy changes.

Is there anything else that I can add where I could say

Instead of doing....(typical boring Christmas thing)....play these fantastic games?

Is there anything that bores people on Christmas eve?

Thanks a lot!
Lakshmi

Peggy Baron · 11-05-2008, 01:11 PM

Well in your heading your talk about Christmas eve, but every where else you talk about Christmas. They are 2 different days. I think you should leave off the "eve" so it includes the whole Christmas holidays.

Also, I would put more stress on making happy memories with the ones you love - your family.

Could you change xmas on the bottom to Christmas? Some people really don't like xmas (takes the Christ out of Christmas).

Good luck!

Peggy

Michael Forey · 11-05-2008, 01:30 PM

Hi

One other sentence that bothers me although probably no big deal.
Surely its illegal to be bored on Christmas day?

Maybe somthing

Surely, it should be a crime to be bored on Christmas Day.

crime is a little more slang, but sounds a little better.

Michael

11-05-2008, 10:39 AM	#1
Aurora9 Lakshmi Sandhana War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 229 Thanks: 5 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	New 'Christmas Games' Salespage Critique? Hi! I've just finished putting together a 'Christmas games' product and I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts on it! Here's the link-- Top 50 Wacky Christmas Games Any suggestions on how I can make the sales page better in terms of copy or presentation? Thanks a ton! Lakshmi
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11-05-2008, 12:09 PM	#2
ShayRockhold StarFleet Admiral War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Delta Quadrant Posts: 1,844 Blog Entries: 10 Thanks: 1,363 Thanked 624 Times in 286 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: New 'Christmas Games' Salespage Critique? I think the product and sales page look great, but there is only one suggestion. You have on there that they get the bonuses if they order before January 6th. Did you mean December 6th? The January deadline looks odd.
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11-05-2008, 12:10 PM	#3
rendell Active Warrior Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 32 Thanks: 5 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: New 'Christmas Games' Salespage Critique? it looks cool!
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11-05-2008, 12:28 PM	#4
Michael Forey HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 290 Blog Entries: 2 Thanks: 26 Thanked 31 Times in 27 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: New 'Christmas Games' Salespage Critique? Looks good to me. Might be nit picking put the price is 19.95$, may want to change to $19.95. Dont know that it will make a difference, but that is all I saw. Take Care Michael

11-05-2008, 01:04 PM	#5
Aurora9 Lakshmi Sandhana War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 229 Thanks: 5 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: New 'Christmas Games' Salespage Critique? Hey, Thanks everyone! Yes, I need to revise the jan deadline and make a few copy changes. Is there anything else that I can add where I could say Instead of doing....(typical boring Christmas thing)....play these fantastic games? Is there anything that bores people on Christmas eve? Thanks a lot! Lakshmi
	1 Secret Super Hot Niche + Complete Ready-To-Go PLR Package=Instant Profit Boom! Newbies Included

11-05-2008, 01:11 PM	#6
Peggy Baron Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Colorado, USA Posts: 1,014 Blog Entries: 24 Thanks: 434 Thanked 193 Times in 116 Posts Social Networking	Re: New 'Christmas Games' Salespage Critique? Well in your heading your talk about Christmas eve, but every where else you talk about Christmas. They are 2 different days. I think you should leave off the "eve" so it includes the whole Christmas holidays. Also, I would put more stress on making happy memories with the ones you love - your family. Could you change xmas on the bottom to Christmas? Some people really don't like xmas (takes the Christ out of Christmas). Good luck! Peggy
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11-05-2008, 01:30 PM	#7
Michael Forey HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 290 Blog Entries: 2 Thanks: 26 Thanked 31 Times in 27 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: New 'Christmas Games' Salespage Critique? Hi One other sentence that bothers me although probably no big deal. Surely its illegal to be bored on Christmas day? Maybe somthing Surely, it should be a crime to be bored on Christmas Day. crime is a little more slang, but sounds a little better. Michael