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Warriors, how can I improve?

by Bane
4 replies
Hey guys,

I'm intending to deliver a WSO in the next few weeks which is a more refined version of something that I've already delivered elsewhere. I created a video that shows off why people should grab it but I think it could be improved.

If you could watch the video and give me your thoughts on the delivery, it would be greatly appreciated - and I'll hand out a few freebies to those who provide in depth response

Cheers,
Bane

#improve #warriors
  • Profile picture of the author E. Brian Rose
    I love this type of webcam pitch. It is very personal and I feel that it is much better than a professionally edited whiz bang video... and that's coming from a guy who used to make a living producing videos!
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    Founder of JVZoo. All around good guy :)

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  • Profile picture of the author Laura B
    Great voice. Excellent for videos - not just the Australian accent that everyone seems to melt for, but the timbre of your voice itself. Not at all hard to listen to. And you seem comfortable and natural.

    Things I would improve:
    1. The occasional loud breaths into the microphone
    2. It doesn't look like you're looking directly at the camera.
    3. The T-shirt

    Overall, good job!
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    Free ebook: Affiliate Marketing: Just the FAQs
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    • Profile picture of the author wassnerwone
      I love this type of webcam pitch. It is very personal and I feel that it is much better than a professionally edited whiz bang video... and that's coming from a guy who used to make a living producing videos!
      I completely agree with this... The one on one is much more personal than some video that has been perfected...

      I like the fact that this kind of video show that you are a real person doing real things.

      Great voice. Excellent for videos - not just the Australian accent that everyone seems to melt for, but the timbre of your voice itself. Not at all hard to listen to. And you seem comfortable and natural.

      Things I would improve:
      1. The occasional loud breaths into the microphone
      2. It doesn't look like you're looking directly at the camera.
      3. The T-shirt

      Overall, good job!
      Also i would say that she nailed it the t shirt is the thing that distract me the most, however you may have been going for that look of "hey i work at home i can wear pajamas"
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      • Profile picture of the author Bane
        Originally Posted by E. Brian Rose View Post

        I love this type of webcam pitch. It is very personal and I feel that it is much better than a professionally edited whiz bang video... and that's coming from a guy who used to make a living producing videos!
        Thanks! The personal attitude is exactly what I'm after with all my products - I want to make sure that the person at the other end gets the feeling that they're not just getting 'yet another ebook' created by someone with a psuedo identity.

        Being able to pull off that exact same attitude in my videos is precisely what I wanted

        Originally Posted by Laura B View Post

        Great voice. Excellent for videos - not just the Australian accent that everyone seems to melt for, but the timbre of your voice itself. Not at all hard to listen to. And you seem comfortable and natural.

        Things I would improve:
        1. The occasional loud breaths into the microphone
        2. It doesn't look like you're looking directly at the camera.
        3. The T-shirt

        Overall, good job!
        Yeah, natural - that totally wasn't the 50th retry at getting it right As much as it wasn't scripted there were a few points I wanted to try and convey, and they got me flustered quite a number of times I do a lot of PodCast work for my other job (Videogame Journalism) so this was a (mostly) easy step.

        1. Part of the problem with the mic I presently have. This should be fixed next time.
        2. I'll try looking directly into the camera - but the reflection of me on screen is just so damn distracting, I keep trying to check what I'm doing!
        3. consider it gone.

        Originally Posted by wassnerwone View Post

        I completely agree with this... The one on one is much more personal than some video that has been perfected...

        I like the fact that this kind of video show that you are a real person doing real things.

        Also i would say that she nailed it the t shirt is the thing that distract me the most, however you may have been going for that look of "hey i work at home i can wear pajamas"
        The pyjamas thing was exactly what I was going for. Maybe a touch too strong though - hawaian shirt next time?

        Thanks everyone for your opinions and feedback so far - keep it coming!
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