Critique my landing page...again :)

14 replies
Ok so I posted recently about my website landing page and asking you to critique and I took a lot of the advice (somethings I didn't change just to keep it simple), but for the most part I think its pretty different it a bit better.

If you could just check it out and let me know what you think. I wonder if you think I should include the prices at the bottom? and also if the 2 contact boxes being the same it bad or what you think?

RasiFranks - Social Media Marketing | Contact

Let me know, thanks again for the future feedback it means a lot to me.
#critique #landing #pageagain
  • Profile picture of the author It Should Be Easy
    It actually looks really good, a lot better than the standard template that everyone seems to use.

    The only thing I notices immediately was the text beneath the first image. It is to much text on a small area. Give it some more space and it would be great if you could make the width smaller. It´s difficult to read so long lines of text without any break, isn´t it like 160 characters that is the guideline to follow?
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  • Profile picture of the author Nickolie0990
    If you can, try to boost the opt-in forms to make them above the fold. You will be surprised just how many people never scroll down.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mike Hlatky
    I don't like that it says "10s of Thousands"

    The first thing I notice is 10s, which is kind of weird. I would get rid of the 10s and just make it say THOUSANDS.
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  • Profile picture of the author Margo Tuul
    Yes, get your opt-in box up. Try just after your first picture. See how it looks.

    I agree with Mike here. 10s of thousands...get rid of that. Leave just "thousands"
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    • Profile picture of the author RasiFranks
      Hey Guys!

      Thanks for the quick responses and the feedback! I got rid of the "10s" and left it just thousands and put the opt-in box right at the top...I tried it just after the picture but it was below the fold still and didn't look that good.

      Now I'm thinking I need a 3rd opt-in box somewhere in the middle of this whole page? What do you think?
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      • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
        Originally Posted by RasiFranks View Post

        Now I'm thinking I need a 3rd opt-in box somewhere in the middle of this whole page? What do you think?
        Rather than simply referencing the video on your home page, you may want to include it again on the contact page, and put a smaller version of your opt-in box right next to it. Otherwise, you encourage people to click to the home page, watch the video, and maybe come back to the contact page.

        Another possibility might be to link the reference to a popup that shows the video and then redirects to an optin form.
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  • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
    Originally Posted by RasiFranks View Post

    Ok so I posted recently about my website landing page and asking you to critique and I took a lot of the advice (somethings I didn't change just to keep it simple), but for the most part I think its pretty different it a bit better.

    If you could just check it out and let me know what you think. I wonder if you think I should include the prices at the bottom? and also if the 2 contact boxes being the same it bad or what you think?

    RasiFranks - Social Media Marketing | Contact

    Let me know, thanks again for the future feedback it means a lot to me.
    Rasi, you have some cute cartoons on the site that take up a lot of room, especially the first one. It takes up most of the screen on my 17" monitor. Unless someone knows what they are looking at, they may not know why being that guy is good - you certainly haven't told them.

    Your headline is weak. "The Power of Social Media Marketing"? It doesn't really mean anything. It certainly doesn't promise a benefit to someone landing on the page.

    In fact, there isn't a tangible benefit until the third bullet point (gold stars). Until that point, it's all about you and what you did. Even talking about "SEO feats" and 27MM visitors doesn't relate to someone who isn't an SEO person.

    You might be better served with a question type headline. Something like "How did one of our clients go from unknown nobody to a hot commodity with venture funding for their marketing campaign and multi-million dollar buyout offers?" The sub-head would be something like "Keep reading - here's how we did it..."

    I do like the NDA statement, though. Even got me wondering who it might have been.

    Below the first contact box are more non-benefits unless you're trying to impress a fellow SEO type.

    My personal impression is that listing prices at this point is a mistake. Without doing a better job of establishing value (in monetary terms), you have no clue if your prices will scare people off, or whether it's because they're too high or too low.

    You want potential clients to see the benefits of your service in terms of their own numbers, and the best way to do that is to book the consult first. You can send sample prices as part of the appointment setting process if you feel the need, or give ballpark estimates for a few sample businesses.

    Just as a style point, you might want to increase the font size of your text to make it easier to read...
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    • Profile picture of the author RasiFranks
      I just saw your post John, I'm going to have to go through and make a few changes. I see all your points. I'm thinking giving the people that don't know about SEO and social media marketing more benefits of our services is a good idea as well as changing the heading up a bit.

      It's going to be a bit harder now that I've moved the opt-in box up to the top. But I definitely need to rework some of the headings and points I make to get people a bit more excited.

      I'm really back and forth about the pricing because I feel like people can be easily turned off by not seeing prices and expecting it to be a lot of money. But you're right since this is such a niche market I'm not quite sure if our prices are extremely overpriced or extremely low. But I know that for the most part based on other sites I've seen and what our services can do they're a pretty good basic start off, thats why I chose to include it for now. I'm still on the fence about it though.

      Thanks for the insight!


      And btw this is a real case study, the whole thing about the "NDA" is in fact real.
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      • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
        Originally Posted by RasiFranks View Post

        I'm really back and forth about the pricing because I feel like people can be easily turned off by not seeing prices and expecting it to be a lot of money. But you're right since this is such a niche market I'm not quite sure if our prices are extremely overpriced or extremely low. But I know that for the most part based on other sites I've seen and what our services can do they're a pretty good basic start off, thats why I chose to include it for now. I'm still on the fence about it though.
        You could be both at the same time, depending on the context of the reader.

        If I'm trying to launch a small company, and my budget is tight, even mentioning venture funding and buyouts in the case studies could be scary.

        If I'm trying to position a multi-million dollar company, I'm used to seeing prices like yours with at least an extra zero on them. So I might wonder just how good you really are, and if you just got lucky.

        Stealing a restaurant metaphor, you might think about dumping the ala carte menu and replacing it with more of a prixe fixe menu. In other words, create sample campaigns for different budgets and different types of companies. Add that all packages can be customized, and let it go at that. I would even think about making your pricing, however you decide to do it, a downloadable document.
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  • Profile picture of the author aandersen
    Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe View Post

    Your headline is weak. "The Power of Social Media Marketing"? It doesn't really mean anything. It certainly doesn't promise a benefit to someone landing on the page. . . . In fact, there isn't a tangible benefit until the third bullet point (gold stars). Until that point, it's all about you and what you did. . . . You might be better served with a question type headline. Something like "How did one of our clients go from unknown nobody to a hot commodity with venture funding for their marketing campaign and multi-million dollar buyout offers?" The sub-head would be something like "Keep reading - here's how we did it..."

    This^^^^

    Seriously, you need a hook. Come up with something to grab their attention and make them want what you are offering. Follow it up with a short, concise, strong call to action. Then present the opt-in form and leave it at that.

    I don't know if you changed the page since John's post, but with the way it is now I wouldn't personally use a "keep reading" approach. Instead, I would use a "To find out how we did it enter your email below" type approach.


    I can tell you spent a lot of time on this, so you might not want to hear my opinion, but...

    If it was me, I would not include any of the stuff below the squeeze. My experience has taught me that the very simple squeeze pages are often more effective. If you make them curious enough, but you don't provide the option to read more, the only way they can find out more is by entering their email address. Of course, this depends on creating a strong enough hook.

    Actually, I would seggregate the squeeze page all together so there are no site navigation links on it. Give them two choices, opt-in or leave.

    All your work doesn't have to go waste, though...

    I would take the stuff below the fold and work it into a sales page. Then, direct them to it after they opt in (or not). Ultimatly, you have plenty of time to give them all that information, and send them to the sales page as you pitch to them in your autoresponder sequence.

    But, that is me, and how you do it is up to you. I would at least consider split testing this approach.
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    • Profile picture of the author genietoast
      I would remove the consultation box at the top and put it after the part that says: "This Could Be You". Grab your readers right away with your "This could be your site" hook so they know what your website service is for. Hit' em with a good strong benefit.

      I like the screenshot of the stats and the case study, but take out the bullet talking about how you received capital funding and put that in your blog. Your sales page should about the customer.

      You talk about a cool little introduction video in the bottom corner of your site, but I can't seem to find it. Have videos ready right on the salespage where customers can hit play. It doesn't matter if it's on the top or in the middle, but don't make the customer hunt for it.

      Umm...how does a person order? The consultation box? The contact section?

      I looked in the contact section: trainee, champ, new guy? What's that? Is that in reference to the game on the site? How does the customer know which one of these categories he is?

      Secondly, is the contact section where you put in an order or is it just for asking admin support questions?

      Oh, wait. I found the video. It was on the home page.

      Create an About Us page that explains who you are and what you do.

      Let your services page explain your services. Have the sales page contain your video, your case study and benefits. Just make it benefits. Then add the consultation box.

      People will still peruse the navbar to find out who you are, what you do, what your service is for, etc. Just make it easy and organized so they know where to go and what to do.

      Sounds like you've got a really remarkable service, but make it easy for your customer to navigate. They're going to want to know how much it costs, what you're offering, where do they order, who are you and how can they contact you for questions.
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  • Profile picture of the author flowers4love
    Generally speaking it's a nice and respectable looking website. The graphics are nice and friendly looking. However the text layout could definitely do with some improvement. First of all, the font should be plain and readable, like for example Arial. Secondly the text should be justified on both sides with 1.5 to double spacing.
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    • Profile picture of the author leeannprice
      Hi Rasi,

      Overall, I like a lot of what you have on your site.

      Now, First things first - in the very first opt in box - you spelled consultation incorrectly.

      At the bottom of that box you have this phrase - Get THOUSANDS of visitors for each piece of content you promote with us, ORGANICALLY.
      I'm not sure what this means, it's unclear and perhaps maybe a bit over the top for a promise?

      I think you could tighten this box up with a clearer, benefit related headline or offer and just leave the page as a squeeze page with the big opt in box. I would make it very clear who your service is for. Is it for small business owners, online marketers? I'm not sure.

      Under that opt in box - you have a whopper of a story. This story alone has the makings of a compelling story and a fantastic headline. I haven't got my copy thinking cap on right now - but I know there is gold in the story of a company that goes from zero to ten million dollar offer that they turned down!!

      I would shorten up this landing page to just mention the mouth watering, juicy tease of being the company that turned a no-name blog into a multi-million dollar business. Honestly, if you're that good, I don't think you should be offering a free consultation.
      To me, that's a bit of a disconnect.

      How about a checklist that a company or website owner could use to rank their site to see if they are doing all they can to drive traffic (which of course they won't be)?

      I would remove all that other info and put it on a web page. This page should be strictly devoted to giving the visitor a reason to take one action - opt in. And, not confuse them with all that other info.

      Lee Ann Price
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  • Profile picture of the author ivanadee
    Hi Rasi, this is just a short suggestion.
    I love the fact that u use proof. it is very good.
    anyway, as my opinion, since you just want to attract people to enter their email, you dont have to put too much info. Just put a killer headline, a proof, benefits and PUSH them to enter their email. just keep it simple and let's see your conversion progress.
    I hope this helps

    regards

    Ivana
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