After 1 week, still no sales for my product at ClickBank

13 years ago

Yea, I would release the product at a lower rate as a WSO. This way you will get people who will also push your product with CB hops, if they like it.

I find I don't market with clickbank, mostly because I do not get to view the product first before I buy it. And I don't want to push anything that I don't think will sell.

Thanks

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oneplusone

13 years ago

Have you got a website link?

It's hard to give you any advice without seeing your actual site.

It could be you're in a weak niche, but I don't have all the information.

Thanks
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247Copywriter 13 years ago

^ Agreed.

Let's have a look at your sales copy.
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- Bingo123 13 years ago
  
  Yes, it would be useful to see the sales copy.
  
  Thanks
  
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phmoisan

13 years ago

I didn't dare put the link in the thread.

Well, I put it in my signature.

It's the one called APSense Guide Pro.

The text was written by me.

The salespage itself was created by Wincer Song, owner of APSense, including thr eCover.

I myself did the screencast video.

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paulie888

13 years ago

Originally Posted by phmoisan

I didn't dare put the link in the thread.

Well, I put it in my signature.

It's the one called APSense Guide Pro.

The text was written by me.

The salespage itself was created by Wincer Song, owner of APSense, including thr eCover.

I myself did the screencast video.

Well, I just took a quick look at the sales page, and one thing I noticed immediately is that it's pretty much bereft of bullet points explaining the benefits/advantages of what you're offering. Also, you may want to explain more about what this APSense platform is and what it can do for your target market.

Overall, I'd say that the sales page is pretty sparse, and needs to be fleshed out with much more detail in order to be compelling enough to make sales, and also attract affiliates.

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Michael Meaney

13 years ago

Try this.. and in this order..

Main headline needs a promise / attention grabbing statement
Bring attention to the problem you're solving
Provide your solution
Show what qualifies you to help them
List the benefits
Provide testimonials / social proof
Present your offer
Add genuine scarcity
Provide a guarantee
Remind them what will happen if they don't purchase

That's what I'd do anyway, works for me and it might work for you. It might not... but test, test and test some more it and tweak as you need to. Good luck to ya man.

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Don Schenk

13 years ago

Philippe,

I clicked on your link, and see: "YES ! APSense Is Awesome !
To Unlock the APSense Arsenal Packed With Powerful Networking Features... You Need the APSense Guide Pro!"

And my mind says, "What on Earth is APsense? What does it do? Why should I want it? What's in if for me? Why should I bother to read the rest of the page? Oh no, a video I have to watch that might or might not tell me what APsense is."

So I watched the first 60 seconds of the video. I still have no clue what APsense is! And the audio portion of the video has vocalized pauses (Uh and Uhm) every few words.

Can you redo your video without all the uh and uhm and make it tell what APsense means?

I haven't a clue what you are selling!

:-Don

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Michael Meaney

13 years ago

You could use a teleprompter for your videos, write a script and paste into this http://www.easyprompter.com/ - makes life a bit easier.

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cpadualcore

13 years ago

Wow, Just a glance at your salescopy says your title sucks. You really need a "KILLER" headline , something that will ignite the visitors to continue reading. Do mention some features of Apsense too.

And above all, you should tell that "copies are limited" by putting up a number there, and also a countdown timer. That will urge the readers to click that order button asap..

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daangertenaar

13 years ago

It's also smart to create an extra JV/affiliate program. Just create another page where you can provide your possible affiliates tools and all that. Contests work very well to get jv's too

[ 1 ] Thanks

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jonibravo

13 years ago

Just wait. Because sometime it takes time to establish a new product in highly competitive market place. So look at others to see the difference between your marketing technique and technique of others.

[ 1 ] Thanks
1 reply

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phmoisan

13 years ago

Lord, what can I say ?

I'm not easily offended. I always think long term. I expected good feedback here.

That's not what I got.

I got AWESOME FEEDBACK !!

Way beyond my expectations !

I don't know how to thank each and everyone of you.

Well, actually, I clicked on the "thanks" button for every feedback I got.

How amazing ! All different ideas, mostly.

You bet I will rework the salespage.

I took for granted everyone knew what APSense is.

Duh... BIG mistake...

I guess I can take your feedback and put it in a WSO I want to post for the guide.

Also, do you think it could be a good idea to put it at RapBank and/or DIgiResults and PaySpree ?

I hope each and everyone of you has an awesome weekend !

Thanks
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Chris Sorrell

13 years ago

If you've been such an active member there and given away so much free advice then the members there may simply not regard you as someone to buy things off. They may see you as the guy who will happily help them out for free. Generosity and business don't mix.

Thanks
1 reply

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W.P. Allen

13 years ago

Try this.. and in this order..

* Main headline needs a promise / attention grabbing statement
* Bring attention to the problem you're solving
* Provide your solution
* Show what qualifies you to help them
* List the benefits
* Provide testimonials / social proof
* Present your offer
* Add genuine scarcity
* Provide a guarantee
* Remind them what will happen if they don't purchase

Follow this outline! Also, you should focus more on the reader and what your product can do for them. You mention yourself 6 TIMES in the first three paragraphs (I did this... I did that...). The visitors to your sales page aren't going to give a crap about what YOU did. They want to know what's in it for THEM.

Thanks

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sonic74

13 years ago

....yes, I think you need a better copy !

Also,you may build a squueze form to build your list... giving away a introduction chapter of the ebook or a free video !

Thanks
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247Copywriter

13 years ago

Your preheader does not inspire me to read your main headline.

Being a copywriter, I proceed anyway undaunted...

Your main headline is about as bad as it gets. In a nutshell, it's terrible. It doesn't inspire me in the absolute slightest to read your first sentence.

What you need to try and do with your sales letter is to set it up and make the greasey slide down the page as easy as possible for your readers.

Each element of your sales copy (the structure in other words) has a specific purpose. And you're failing on all of them big time.

I can also tell instantly that you've written this sales letter not with your intended target audience in mind. You've written it purely for SEO purposes. A fatal mistake.

You thought, if I mention the word APSense on virtually every single line this will surely get me up to the top of Google for the keyword, ApSense.

All well and good only... no one has the foggiest idea what APSense is.

Certainly I've never heard of it and I'm very experienced in Internet marketing. Several others above have also not heard of this before. So you're making a massive assumption about your readers. thinking, they'll know about whatever it is you're going on about... when quite the opposite is true.

Right, let's get back above the fold...

Very little uniformity here. Your preheader font is one color, your main headline another one. Your sub headline is in yet another color and your 2nd sub headline, well need I say more? You get the drift.

What do you think this is doing to my emotions as a reader of your sales copy?

What signal do you think this is sending to the subconscious part of my mind? And to all of your readers?

Do you think this might be causing a major disconnect right from the start? Swapping and changing the font, colors like this isn't going to help your readability or conversion rate.

Your Post It notes (top right) also imply lots of hard work ahead. Never a good thing to do. They're telling me I need "To Do" this, that and the other which all imply lot's of work on my part. Get rid of them. They're not doing anything whatsoever for your sales page.

Your first sentence is very, very weak. Basically in this case it's a filter. Only a filter you don't want or need. It's too long and doesn't do anything to inspire the reader to keep on reading. Also you've included the 2nd sentence alongside your first one.

You don't want your readers going sideways. You want them to be sliding down your slippery sales funnel. Your 2nd sentence should be below your first sentence and obviously both of them need rewording.

The first sentence should be kept very short indeed. It has one purpose only... to get the reader to read the 2nd sentence down.

I could spend all night on this thing...

It's riddled with mistakes from beginning to end. Essentially it needs a complete rewrite from scratch.

Either read some copywriting books... there's a good Sticky thread in the Copywriting Forum for this very purpose. Pick one of those books recommended and apply the copywriting principles contained within.

Or, employ the services of a professional copywriter to rewrite this sucker.

If I can assist you, let me know...

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catchingeye

13 years ago

Originally Posted by 247Copywriter

What you need to try and do with your sales letter is to set it up and make the greasey slide down the page as easy as possible for your readers.

Each element of your sales copy (the structure in other words) has a specific purpose. And you're failing on all of them big time.

I can also tell instantly that you've written this sales letter not with your intended target audience in mind. You've written it purely for SEO purposes. A fatal mistake.

The best advice you can get is the above while writing a sales letter, thanks 247Copywriter, I will surely send over some projects to you. Keep it up

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Steven Miranda

13 years ago

Originally Posted by 247Copywriter

Your preheader does not inspire me to read your main headline.

Being a copywriter, I proceed anyway undaunted...

Your main headline is about as bad as it gets. In a nutshell, it's terrible. It doesn't inspire me in the absolute slightest to read your first sentence.

What you need to try and do with your sales letter is to set it up and make the greasey slide down the page as easy as possible for your readers.

Each element of your sales copy (the structure in other words) has a specific purpose. And you're failing on all of them big time.

I can also tell instantly that you've written this sales letter not with your intended target audience in mind. You've written it purely for SEO purposes. A fatal mistake.

You thought, if I mention the word APSense on virtually every single line this will surely get me up to the top of Google for the keyword, ApSense.

All well and good only... no one has the foggiest idea what APSense is.

Certainly I've never heard of it and I'm very experienced in Internet marketing. Several others above have also not heard of this before. So you're making a massive assumption about your readers. thinking, they'll know about whatever it is you're going on about... when quite the opposite is true.

Right, let's get back above the fold...

Very little uniformity here. Your preheader font is one color, your main headline another one. Your sub headline is in yet another color and your 2nd sub headline, well need I say more? You get the drift.

What do you think this is doing to my emotions as a reader of your sales copy?

What signal do you think this is sending to the subconscious part of my mind? And to all of your readers?

Do you think this might be causing a major disconnect right from the start? Swapping and changing the font, colors like this isn't going to help your readability or conversion rate.

Your Post It notes (top right) also imply lots of hard work ahead. Never a good thing to do. They're telling me I need "To Do" this, that and the other which all imply lot's of work on my part. Get rid of them. They're not doing anything whatsoever for your sales page.

Your first sentence is very, very weak. Basically in this case it's a filter. Only a filter you don't want or need. It's too long and doesn't do anything to inspire the reader to keep on reading. Also you've included the 2nd sentence alongside your first one.

You don't want your readers going sideways. You want them to be sliding down your slippery sales funnel. Your 2nd sentence should be below your first sentence and obviously both of them need rewording.

The first sentence should be kept very short indeed. It has one purpose only... to get the reader to read the 2nd sentence down.

I could spend all night on this thing...

It's riddled with mistakes from beginning to end. Essentially it needs a complete rewrite from scratch.

Either read some copywriting books... there's a good Sticky thread in the Copywriting Forum for this very purpose. Pick one of those books recommended and apply the copywriting principles contained within.

Or, employ the services of a professional copywriter to rewrite this sucker.

If I can assist you, let me know...

Words of wisdom.

Thanks
1 reply

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GeorgeP1 13 years ago

phmoisan,

Just looked at your site and well I agree with the others on what they said about the headlines and formatting the sales letter. The first thing I'll mention that really turned me off was the "me" copy that was written.

What I mean is that when you were selling in the letter you started out with me...me...me.

The other thing I would consider is to make the sub headlines tell the story in a nutshell. I skim when it comes to sales letters -- it didn't appeal to me when I scrolled through it.

Follow the advice that was given there are some nuggets in the posts above.

Just my 2 cents.

George
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- phmoisan 13 years ago
  
  GeorgeP1, I thank you, you're right, I got the work cut out for me, we're talking about a rewrite from scratch, a new video, in short, a whole new sales page, the feedback I got here gave me what I wanted to hear and then some
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  
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daangertenaar

13 years ago

Another quick tip is to add an exit pop up to still capture your leaving visitors attention. Offer a $10 discount or anything else, since they're leaving anyways this won't do any harm!

Thanks
1 reply

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247Copywriter

13 years ago

Originally Posted by daangertenaar

Another quick tip is to add an exit pop up to still capture your leaving visitors attention. Offer a $10 discount or anything else, since they're leaving anyways this won't do any harm!

It would be a darn sight better to...

Keep the readers on the page in the first place.

Sliding happily all the way down...

Knowing this is the perfect solution to their frustration or pain...

To the call to action button.

Thanks
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daangertenaar 13 years ago

Yea true that, but there are always visitors leaving, this would be one of the solutions when the salespage IS ok, and since they are leaving I don't know why this should be bad.
- Thanks
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phmoisan

13 years ago

247copywriter,

I wasn't thinking about SEO when I wrote the salespage. I don't want to use complicated SEO techniques which I don't understand in the slightest. I prefer to write naturally. It might be a mistake. I guess it won't matter since someone here will review my rewritten salescopy. He's a professional copywriter. I definitely need that kind of help.

Some friends who are Internet marketers themselves liked my copy. They made a few suggestions. Obviously, they're not as experienced as the people who commented here, including you.

I was in a bad mood when I wrote my previous comment. This is not an excuse. All I can say is, I'm sorry it came out like that.

By the way, I agree about the post-it notes. I will have my friend remove them.

I started on a really bad note with you. I will be more careful next time.

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247Copywriter

13 years ago

Originally Posted by phmoisan

247copywriter,

I don't care at all about SEO. Never did, never will.

I'm not an experienced copywriter, by any stretch of the imagination.

Maybe you didn't notice, I did write a comment saying I recognize I have to rework the sales page. I wrote it before you wrote yours.

I received a PM from a professional copywriter here, I will do business with him.

He didn't need to write things like " to rewrite this sucker" to get my attention.

I did say I'm not easily offended, but I have my limits. This comment of yours got way over my limit.

Just my 2 cents.

You have your limits? :confused:

What you have is a cheek!

You asked for assistance with this sales copy. Out of the kindness of my heart, I tried to help you and all you can do is to be insulting in return.

By sucker, I mean't sucking cash out of this product. :rolleyes:

I won't be helping you again in the future... that's for sure. Wasting 30 minutes of my time to give you a positive critique just to have the advice given, thrown back in my face.

Unbelievable!

Thanks
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phmoisan 13 years ago

I have some additional questions about my product offer at ClickBank.

1- The product has been there for a week*. I have 58 affililates. Is that a good number, or do good products get many more affiliates than that ?

2- Do most affiliates look at the affiliates page provided by the vendor for the product ?

3- Is it easy to communicate with my affiliates to let them know if the product has been updated ?

I will update the sales page and the guide itself, since Wincer Song, the APSense owner, made changes to the look and navigation of the site, making my screenshots in the guide irrelevant. Also, of course, some rewriting will be necessary.
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- daangertenaar 13 years ago
  
  3- Is it easy to communicate with my affiliates to let them know if the product has been updated ?
  
  When you've created an extra affiliates page or jv page, you should give them the opportunity to let htem subscribe to your mailing list (communication). This way you can give them updates and all that!
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
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  Alan Petersen 13 years ago
  
  Aside from the forum marketing, how else are your driving traffic to it? Even if you fix the copy (which is a must) you need targeted traffic.
  
  Just by plopping it up on ClickBank doesn't mean you'll make sales or that you'll get quality affiliates to promote it. That requires some elbow grease.
  
  You can have the best copy but if you're not sending quality, targeted traffic to the sales page no one will see it and you'll make few if any sales. Especially since you've only had it on for one week.
  
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Marvin Johnston

13 years ago

Originally Posted by 247Copywriter

I won't be helping you again in the future... that's for sure. Wasting 30 minutes of my time to give you a positive critique just to have the advice given, thrown back in my face.

It was not wasted time as I'm sure others besides myself learned from your post.

Also, it appears the response you refer to was modified, and has an apology to you for the previous comment(s).

Marvin

[ 1 ] Thanks
1 reply

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247Copywriter

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Marvin Johnston

It was not wasted time as I'm sure others besides myself learned from your post.

Also, it appears the response you refer to was modified, and has an apology to you for the previous comment(s).

Marvin

Thank you Marvin for the update.

I've now left a Thanks on the OP's revised comment which is now a lot more polite than the previously given comment.

Thanks

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Rich Struck

13 years ago

It looks like every other squeeze page on the planet, I can't imagine why it isn't converting.

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bcturner

13 years ago

There's a blindness to ads these days

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bcturner

13 years ago

at least from me...

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rileyb

13 years ago

Im not good with sales copy and I dont like those flashy sales pages it seems like most marketers use. Your landing page is not flashy or anything but I read the page and Im still not sure exactly what Apsense is.

Thanks
1 reply

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Steadyon 13 years ago

Time to take a step back from the nitty gritty site review.

(Missing fulltop here, graphic there, above the fold, below the fold etc...)

My main question to you is this:

"Is there a market for your guide?"

In other words, have you tested to see whether people will pay good money for it?

I have no idea what apsense is?

I notice in your sales letter you wrote:

"Recently, a good friend suggested that I write a guide about APSense. I thought it was an exciting idea!"

Is this just a bit of sales spiel or is it how the idea came to fruition?

Regards,
Steadyon
- Thanks
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hjalte81

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Craig Desorcy

It's not the price. It's the copy.

My new mantra! Awesome!

Thanks

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phmoisan

13 years ago

Steadyon,

Thanks for your feedback. I guess I should have had the salesletter rewritten before posting in this thread again.

The comment about my friend's idea is real. I believe in full 100 % honesty. I always think long term However, I realize a comment like that might appear like a sales technique. I wrote the sales page as if it was an article at APSense. A poor idea, for sure. I had in mind 2 different audiences : the new or recent APSense members, and the rest of the world. But, when writing, I forgot that many non members might not have an inkling what APSense is. I stand corrected.

Thanks
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daangertenaar 13 years ago

Originally Posted by phmoisan

Steadyon,

I forgot that many non members might not have an inkling what APSense is. I stand corrected.

Yes, make the newcomers curious, make them hungry..
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Shazia Mirza

13 years ago

The WSO idea is good. I heard around that it works exceptionally well!

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phmoisan

13 years ago

Alan, I have a good reputation among APSense members. I counted on that to get sales. Looks like so far, I was wrong.

Marvin, I edited the comment heavily. The original comment was written while I was not in a very good mood, so writing it was a very bad idea. Thanks for your support.

Thanks

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phmoisan

13 years ago

IMReview, thanks ! I will do the WSO for sure.

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phmoisan

13 years ago

daangertenaar, I sure will try, the help of the professional copywriter will make sure I reach that objective. Thank you !

Thanks

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GuerrillaIM

13 years ago

I looked at the sales page. My thoughts are that there is no obvious benefit being portrayed. From a glance at the page I can't see what benefit I will get.

Make a big claim at the start of the page in the headline referring to what will happen for your buyers and use the salespage to back it up and make an offer.

Thanks

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After 1 week, still no sales for my product at ClickBank

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