What can I do to make my pitch page more convincing?

15 years ago

I'm not the best person to answer this question; I do dating and cams.

HOWEVER...what I would say is scale it! A Conversion ratio of 100 hops / sale is DAMN GOOD. You should be patting yourself on the back.

I would concentrate on getting more hops because the page obviously works very well already.

Scale it.

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ChrisByrns

15 years ago

imho your site is too cluttered.. needs more whitespace, less text, less scrolling and a better call-to-action kind of thing.

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cscott5288

15 years ago

Originally Posted by ChrisByrns

imho your site is too cluttered.. needs more whitespace, less text, less scrolling and a better call-to-action kind of thing.

Really? I thought that I had too much white space lol

Do you guys think that I should list fewer ebooks, where it says '29,775 eBooks including the following:'?

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ChrisByrns 15 years ago

Originally Posted by cscott5288

Really? I thought that I had too much white space lol

then let me rephrase that to "better use of whitespace".
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ZelimirGraf

15 years ago

Originally Posted by cscott5288

Really? I thought that I had too much white space lol

Do you guys think that I should list fewer ebooks, where it says '29,775 eBooks including the following:'?

Hey man, what I would suggest is you clear out your website, give it a little space to breathe, and try to personalize it a bit, people like personality and relationship, a good way is adding a personalized video content, maybe you should think about that...anyways, hope it helps
best of all to you

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cscott5288

15 years ago

Originally Posted by ZelimirGraf

Hey man, what I would suggest is you clear out your website, give it a little space to breathe, and try to personalize it a bit, people like personality and relationship, a good way is adding a personalized video content, maybe you should think about that...anyways, hope it helps
best of all to you

Do you mean like putting it into a sales letter?

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Digitalcashprofits

15 years ago

You need a capture splash page or a sqeeze page you can do this by sending them to a price page which the customer is courious to find out HOW MUCH right.

Send them to this page, but first capture their email and name so you can put them into a auto responder follow up system, then send them to your order page where they will see how much your product cost

Also you have in your HEADLINE

The Webmaster's Ultimate Digital Product Reseller Package with Full Resell Rights

I would change this to read something like this for your HEADLINE

Grab Your Ultimate Mega Digital Products For Resellers With Master Resell Rights--Grab Them While They Last

REMOVE ALL PRICING FROM SALES PAGE

Frank
If you need more info email me

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cscott5288

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Digitalcashprofits

You need a capture splash page or a sqeeze page you can do this by sending them to a price page which the customer is courious to find out HOW MUCH right.

Send them to this page, but first capture their email and name so you can put them into a auto responder follow up system, then send them to your order page where they will see how much your product cost

Also you have in your HEADLINE

The Webmaster's Ultimate Digital Product Reseller Package with Full Resell Rights

I would change this to read something like this for your HEADLINE

Grab Your Ultimate Mega Digital Products For Resellers With Master Resell Rights--Grab Them While They Last

REMOVE ALL PRICING FROM SALES PAGE

Frank
If you need more info email me

I like this idea about changing the headline...I will consider your idea and alternatives, but adding the "grab them while they last" buying motive is a must.

Unfortunately it is against CB policy to not state the price on the pitch page, am I correct?

I've changed the headline to: "Grab your Webmaster's Ultimate Digital Product Reseller Pack 2009 Edition--While they still last!"

and towards the top, I've added the line:
"But Hurry! To protect the quality of the rights sold, this offer is limited to a finite number of buyers!"

which by the way, is a fact.

Dang thanks so much for the ideas! Anymore??

Thanks

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kj95100

15 years ago

Originally Posted by cscott5288

What can I do to make my pitch page more convincing?

I make about 1 sale per 100 hops, but that's only $20 for me (60% commission for affiliates). My goal is 1 sale per 20 hops, which I think is attainable considering how much I am offering here.

You can really help me out if you tell me what some of your feeling were after viewing this page!

Thanks

The most important advice I can give is on the focus of your site. As I see it, the site really focuses on the package. It basically screams "look at me..."

You can add a more effective message by making the site personal. Treat the page like you are talking to a friend. Help your friend see what you have to offer and then follow that with an explanation that tells what's in it for your friend.

Your current formula looks more like -- features, features, features, features ... small benefit -- you want to make the site more about how your friend will benefit from this package, not what's included in the package.

I am not saying to leave out what is in the package, I am saying to present the sales message in a way that makes your friend's interests the issue and the package the solution.

You should check out Michel Fortin's work at --
successdoctor.com/services/ -- just scroll down the page until you come to a section on the right that says "Check Out Actual Samples Of Our Work."

There are about 16 sales page links that can give you some ideas on how to structure the look of your page.

I hope this helps,

Kelly

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ZelimirGraf

15 years ago

Originally Posted by kj95100

The most important advice I can give is on the focus of your site. As I see it, the site really focuses on the package. It basically screams "look at me..."

You can add a more effective message by making the site personal. Treat the page like you are talking to a friend. Help your friend see what you have to offer and then follow that with an explanation that tells what's in it for your friend.

Your current formula looks more like -- features, features, features, features ... small benefit -- you want to make the site more about how your friend will benefit from this package, not what's included in the package.

I am not saying to leave out what is in the package, I am saying to present the sales message in a way that makes your friend's interests the issue and the package the solution.

You should check out Michel Fortin's work at --
successdoctor.com/services/ -- just scroll down the page until you come to a section on the right that says "Check Out Actual Samples Of Our Work."

There are about 16 sales page links that can give you some ideas on how to structure the look of your page.

I hope this helps,

Kelly

Hey cscott5288, yeah I agree with Kelly, push the benefits, I don`t see them anywhere. You need to push the emotion button, explain what your products would do for your customer, how would they improve their life, bring them more money, etc. A good way would be, since your site is kind of crowded with features, to put a short video of you explaining to the potential customers what your product would do for them. I bet you would see an increase in conversions.
What you have now right there on your website, is a specs sheet, not a sales letter. Hope this helps!
And absolutely, check out Michael Fortin, and also, here`s a resource I find enormously valuable, this is a site run by Clayton Makepeace, a star copywriter, and one of the best in the field, go to The Total Package, and see for yourself. Pure gold my friend! Check everything out carefully.

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Elliott Bean

15 years ago

Many people are more motivated by fears and frustrations than benefits( they'll respond more positively when you tell them what problems your product will alleviate than what good it will do them.)

So don't just sell them the benefits, sell them on how the package will alleviate their problems!

I think this is why alot of people will procrastinate till a day before the deadline and then work madly to get the project finished, because the pain of not finishing is even greater than the pain of actually doing the work.

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SeanIM 15 years ago

Your headline needs work, it's not sucking me in at all.

Your bullets aren't pitching benefits -- again not sucking me in at all why I need this...

Focus on what this will do for them

also

Less is more

-S
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ZelimirGraf

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Elliott Bean

Many people are more motivated by fears and frustrations than benefits( they'll respond more positively when you tell them what problems your product will alleviate than what good it will do them.)

So don't just sell them the benefits, sell them on how the package will alleviate their problems!

I think this is why alot of people will procrastinate till a day before the deadline and then work madly to get the project finished, because the pain of not finishing is even greater than the pain of actually doing the work.

But when you tell them what problems your product will alleviate, then you just told them what good it will do for them! It`s the same thing, these are all benefits targeting prospects dominant resident emotions. First you scare them, then you comfort them. Widen the gap(problem), and then bridge it with your product. People buy on emotion, and justify with logic.

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Elliott Bean

15 years ago

Originally Posted by ZelimirGraf

But when you tell them what problems your product will alleviate, then you just told them what good it will do for them! It`s the same thing, these are all benefits targeting prospects dominant resident emotions. First you scare them, then you comfort them. Widen the gap(problem), and then bridge it with your product. People buy on emotion, and justify with logic.

Thats true telling them about the problems it alleviates is essentially telling them the benefits.

Just to add the product does seem a bit generic, like I can imagine finding all that stuff on ebay for a few dollars.

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cscott5288

15 years ago

Thanks for all the valuable advice! I am working on editing the copywriting.

does anyone think I should lower the price?

the only reason I have it at 49.50, is because Im afraid people will think that a price like $25 or $30 means it must be a terrible product.

Does clickbank allow you to lower/higher the price whenever you want?

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Shafiq Kamal 15 years ago

Start back end selling and make more money
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nicholasb

15 years ago

announce the problem, agitate the problem, offer a solution to the problem

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cscott5288

15 years ago

OK! I've added about 700 words of text in the begging to announce, agitate the problem. I've also personalized the page a bit more (put my picture at the top, name and title), and redid some of the images (which were a bit choppy).

What do you think of it now? Do you think I have adequately stated the problem/solution?

Thanks

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Rob Canyon

15 years ago

Cscott5288

Are you using all those links on your page to get organic traffic, if so then
selling on the traffic grabbing page will always be hard.

Make an opt in form in the side bar visitors can sign up for something of
value you give them for free,

Then make a custom thank you page which is your sales letter and then
set up a small autoresponder series to sell people on going to your sales
page that still haven't bought.

Cheers,

Rob

IMHO pages that draw organic traffic don't make good sales letters
because of all the links and visa versa

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cscott5288

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Rob Canyon

Cscott5288

Are you using all those links on your page to get organic traffic, if so then
selling on the traffic grabbing page will always be hard.

Make an opt in form in the side bar visitors can sign up for something of
value you give them for free,

Then make a custom thank you page which is your sales letter and then
set up a small autoresponder series to sell people on going to your sales
page that still haven't bought.

Cheers,

Rob

IMHO pages that draw organic traffic don't make good sales letters
because of all the links and visa versa

Hey Rob,

No the links, are all no-follow and I currently don't intend on getting any sales from organic traffic. This page is pretty much designed just for affiliates to make sales from.

Thanks

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ildarius

15 years ago

Float picture to the left with the text around it, not below it

|-_-|TEXT TEXT TEXT
|-_-|TEXT TEXT TEXT
TEXT TEXT TEX TEXT

I like the picture of the product btw, looks good

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Hesaidblissfully

15 years ago

I think your copy still needs some work. Your headline says Get Your Webmaster's Digital Product Reseller Package 2009, While They Still Last!

Unless I already know what the product is, you've probably lost me. Why? That headline doesn't tell me anything about what's in it for ME. It only tells me that there's a digital product reseller package on the page that I can get and that supplies are limited.

I could only see a headline like that working for something like Microsoft Office that has instant brand name recognition.

You want your headline by telling visitors WHY they should want your product in the first place. What's in it for them? (The saying is "everybody's favorite radio station is WII-FM: What's In It For Me?")

If you look at Eben Pagan's site Double Your Dating, for example. The headline reads, "Want Expert Dating Advice For Men? Want To Know How To Become More Successful With Women And Dating?"

But what if the headline just said "Get Your Double Your Dating Book While They Still Last!"? Which headline sounds more compelling to some lonely dude who stumbled across the website?

You did a great job of letting people know what's in the package, now it just needs some tweaks to let them know why they should get it. Hope that helps!

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cscott5288

15 years ago

Originally Posted by ildarius

Float picture to the left with the text around it, not below it

|-_-|TEXT TEXT TEXT
|-_-|TEXT TEXT TEXT
TEXT TEXT TEX TEXT

I like the picture of the product btw, looks good

Done.

Originally Posted by Hesaidblissfully

I think your copy still needs some work. Your headline says Get Your Webmaster's Digital Product Reseller Package 2009, While They Still Last!

Unless I already know what the product is, you've probably lost me. Why? That headline doesn't tell me anything about what's in it for ME. It only tells me that there's a digital product reseller package on the page that I can get and that supplies are limited.

I could only see a headline like that working for something like Microsoft Office that has instant brand name recognition.

You want your headline by telling visitors WHY they should want your product in the first place. What's in it for them? (The saying is "everybody's favorite radio station is WII-FM: What's In It For Me?")

If you look at Eben Pagan's site Double Your Dating, for example. The headline reads, "Want Expert Dating Advice For Men? Want To Know How To Become More Successful With Women And Dating?"

But what if the headline just said "Get Your Double Your Dating Book While They Still Last!"? Which headline sounds more compelling to some lonely dude who stumbled across the website?

You did a great job of letting people know what's in the package, now it just needs some tweaks to let them know why they should get it. Hope that helps!

Yes, your absolutely right. I'm going to change the headline...I'm going to brainstorm myself tonight, but does anyone have any ideas they might want to throw out?

Thanks
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Hesaidblissfully

15 years ago

Originally Posted by cscott5288

Done.

Yes, your absolutely right. I'm going to change the headline...I'm going to brainstorm myself tonight, but does anyone have any ideas they might want to throw out?

Hey, why not run it by some of the folks in the Copywriting section of the forum? I'm sure someone there would be willing to help you brainstorm. You could even link to this post (if that's allowed.)

Alternately, look for an existing products related to yours and model your headline similarly to theirs. Don't STEAL it obviously, but look at the elements so that you can adapt it to your offer.

Thanks

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Steven Carl Kelly

15 years ago

Respectfully... for me, the biggest problem is your headline. The name of the product is too wordy, and I couldn't make it past the headline. Unless I already know what a "Webmaster's Ultimate Digital Product Reseller Pack 2009 Edition" is, I have no reason to read on.

Suggestion: grab my attention but don't worry about stating the name of the product in the headline itself. There's plenty of time for that later in the sales copy. Instead, write a compelling headline that makes me want to keep reading.

Thanks

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cscott5288

15 years ago

OK, I've changed the headline to read: Attention All Website Developers! Massive Amounts of Quality Resell Rights for Sale!

What do you think? It might just be temporary till I can come up with something worthy.

Thanks

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borilbogoev

15 years ago

I suppose you know this concept but let me remind you - try to use AIDA formula for the pitch page:

A - Grab ATTENTION
I - Rise INTEREST
D - Create DESIRE
A - Strong call to ACTION

I hope this was helpful idea for you.

Good luck!

Thanks

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What can I do to make my pitch page more convincing?

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