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Review format of website - (is this in the right section)

by TomBuck
9 replies
Hi could you review my format of website, simple sales page on wordpress for a cure about curing insomnia. Cure Insomnia

I know I need more testimonials but not sure how to get anymore. No one I know struggles with insomnia. Where can I get some?
#format #review #section #website
  • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
    Tom, how did you get this one?

    I do hope this isn't the "big, juicy lie" you asked about in another thread...
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    • Profile picture of the author Patrick
      Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe View Post

      Tom, how did you get this one?

      I do hope this isn't the "big, juicy lie" you asked about in another thread...

      LOL.......
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      • Profile picture of the author Michael Shook
        Your format needs some fixing, your fonts are a little odd and you've got a few grammatical things that could get fixed up.

        But mostly, it just does not sound believable, it is kind of like a list of things about insomnia and a list of what is in the course, instead of being a sales letter.

        If you are going to write about the features of your product, then it would be good to add something in there to each feature that tells how it is a benefit to someone who has insomnia.
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    • Profile picture of the author TomBuck
      Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe View Post

      Tom, how did you get this one?

      I do hope this isn't the "big, juicy lie" you asked about in another thread...
      Haha no got told not to do that. That is all facts. How could I improve the sales letter then?
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      • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
        Originally Posted by TomBuck View Post

        Haha no got told not to do that. That is all facts. How could I improve the sales letter then?
        Fair enough...

        First, how did you get the first testimonial? Can you repeat the process to get more?

        Second, you can improve the letter by not calling the product a "course" or an "ebook". Better to label it a "sleep system" or something similar. No one wants a course on curing insomnia, they just want to get some sleep.

        Another thing you can do, if the steps really are clinically proven and you can back it up if challenged, is to say so. You could even quote one of the clinical studies, with a citation. This would help your credibility, as right now it's just a pitch from a nameless, faceless entity.

        A third thing you could do is play up the mp3 that conditions the brain for sleeping. It evokes a bit of the 'easy button', as anyone can listen to a recording while lying in bed...

        Work more on buyer benefits and less on working "cure insomnia" into your copy.

        That should be enough to get you started...
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        • Profile picture of the author TomBuck
          Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe View Post

          Fair enough...

          First, how did you get the first testimonial? Can you repeat the process to get more?

          Second, you can improve the letter by not calling the product a "course" or an "ebook". Better to label it a "sleep system" or something similar. No one wants a course on curing insomnia, they just want to get some sleep.

          Another thing you can do, if the steps really are clinically proven and you can back it up if challenged, is to say so. You could even quote one of the clinical studies, with a citation. This would help your credibility, as right now it's just a pitch from a nameless, faceless entity.

          A third thing you could do is play up the mp3 that conditions the brain for sleeping. It evokes a bit of the 'easy button', as anyone can listen to a recording while lying in bed...

          Work more on buyer benefits and less on working "cure insomnia" into your copy.

          That should be enough to get you started...
          Just a mate who I knew struggled with insomnia and he said it helped him so I asked if I could get a review so he did one for me. He is the only person I know who struggles with insomnia so I don't think I could ask anyone else.

          Clinically is fine, I got the ebook from someone who was experienced in curing insomnia. I can't remember names.

          As for the mp3 I will play it up.

          Thanks for the advise.
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          • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
            Originally Posted by TomBuck View Post

            Just a mate who I knew struggled with insomnia and he said it helped him so I asked if I could get a review so he did one for me. He is the only person I know who struggles with insomnia so I don't think I could ask anyone else.

            Clinically is fine, I got the ebook from someone who was experienced in curing insomnia. I can't remember names.

            As for the mp3 I will play it up.

            Thanks for the advise.
            If you make the claim that something is clinically proven, and you get challenged on it, "I got it from someone who was experienced in curing insomnia, whose name I can't remember" won't cut it.

            Now, if you could somehow find the name, and that name has a medical credential (like "MD"), you have something you can play up.

            As an alternative, you could go to Google Scholar and spend a little time finding your own citations. Having real proof that the steps in your system work will set you apart from the people just flogging some PLR ebook they picked up.
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  • Profile picture of the author donhx
    Respectfully, it's dull and uninteresting. It doesn't grab a person either visually or with the sales message. It is not compelling. Work on your copywriting, and use color in text and graphics to make the site pop.
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  • Profile picture of the author JHC81
    The first part before what is the sleep system, I would change the font, to bold or different color, it doesn't stand out to me it looks just like regular article.
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