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2 Headlines, Which is Better?

by Chris The Traffic Blogger
9 replies
http://www.20kleveling.com/images/newfront.jpg

http://www.20kleveling.com/images/newfont2.jpg

The second one is currently being used, but I am shocked to see so far today my first $0 in about a year is happening before my very eyes... I did not think that the first headline was any better.

It could be a total fluke or maybe the current headline is just terrible?

What are your thoughts and reasoning?

I will be running a split test probably this week to also take a look at numbers to see if maybe it's just the start of a bad week.

Numbers wise, I'm usually selling about a product every two hours, so seeing a big fat goose egg by 3:00 pm is not something I'm used to. I added the new headline two days ago and it was doing fine until today.

Hops wise I have received about 600 so far today, to have no sales makes me a little nervous and I'm worried that new affiliates will not be happy with this headline.

Any thoughts to help me out? Thank you very much for your time!
#headlines
  • Profile picture of the author E. Brian Rose
    Originally Posted by Chris The Traffic Blogger View Post



    2 Headlines, Which is Better?
    ANSWER: The one that converts better is the better headline.

    Split test!
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    Founder of JVZoo. All around good guy :)

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  • Profile picture of the author Benjamin Ehinger
    I like the second better, but honestly I am not a fan of either one. The first one comes across very bright and hard to read to me since it is nearly all in red. I am not a fan of all the red. The second one is better, but I really don't care for the "see the difference" font. I like the colors better, however.

    My advice would be to tone it down a bit and take out the shadowing. It just looks too salesy to me.

    just my two cents.

    Benjamin Ehinger
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    • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Benjamin Ehinger View Post

      I like the second better, but honestly I am not a fan of either one. The first one comes across very bright and hard to read to me since it is nearly all in red. I am not a fan of all the red. The second one is better, but I really don't care for the "see the difference" font. I like the colors better, however.

      My advice would be to tone it down a bit and take out the shadowing. It just looks too salesy to me.

      just my two cents.
      My two cents also.

      If you'll excuse the comment, I dislike both a lot, and find them both far too salesy (both as a copywriter and as a potential customer). I'd expect the second to convert slightly better, but that means nothing, as all that matters is what a split-test of identically-derived traffic shows. My guess, however, is that all the red on the first one will cost sales (a very, very common eventuality).
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      • Profile picture of the author Chris The Traffic Blogger
        I've been doing really well with the first one for months, and it converts well I think mainly because of the first line "go from 0 to 1,000,000 gold." It was for this reason that I thought changing the stuff beneath that but keeping the main headline would work really well.

        Thank you all for the ideas, I will of course move to a split test asap.

        I SUCK at word smithing Alexa, what I'm good at is product creation and finding creative solutions to age old problems, even if it's just a video game.

        Any help with the wording would be great, can I PM you?
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Santos
    Originally Posted by E. Brian Rose View Post

    ANSWER: The one that converts better is the better headline.

    Split test!
    I'd have to agree; that's what matters in the end, right?

    As for my opinion, the second one seems a little too "busy"; there's a lot of contrast, probably more than you need. Also, the first one has a nice inverted pyramid shape that draws attention down into whatever else you have to say.
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  • Profile picture of the author scrofford
    Here's the deal. Your headline should be your biggest, baddest and best benefit your product offers. Neither of those headlines show any kind of benefit. The headline should also grab attention and snap the reader out of whatever dead head trance they're in from hours of surfing the internet when they land on your website. It should cause them to want to read more. Nothing in that headline makes me want to do that. Time to go back to the drawing board.
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    • Profile picture of the author Chris The Traffic Blogger
      Originally Posted by scrofford View Post

      Here's the deal. Your headline should be your biggest, baddest and best benefit your product offers. Neither of those headlines show any kind of benefit. The headline should also grab attention and snap the reader out of whatever dead head trance they're in from hours of surfing the internet when they land on your website. It should cause them to want to read more. Nothing in that headline makes me want to do that. Time to go back to the drawing board.
      This is where my downfall in headline writing lies.

      I can make content on a blog that makes people absolutley love me, so much so that they will buy my guide eventhough the pitch sucks. I can also drive 7 thousand people a day to the site.

      What I need now is a good headline, the rest of the pitch is pretty good.
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      • Profile picture of the author Shaun OReilly
        Originally Posted by Chris The Traffic Blogger View Post

        This is where my downfall in headline writing lies.

        I can make content on a blog that makes people absolutley love me, so much so that they will buy my guide eventhough the pitch sucks. I can also drive 7 thousand people a day to the site.

        What I need now is a good headline, the rest of the pitch is pretty good.
        If your headlines suck, then a lot of people won't even stop
        to read your content (no matter how good it is) - especially
        first time visitors.

        Learn how to write compelling headlines (or outsource).

        A good start is Tested Advertising Methods by John Caples.

        It's an old classic but so useful to learn the basics of writing
        effective headlines.

        Dedicated to mutual success,

        Shaun
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        .

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        • Profile picture of the author Chris The Traffic Blogger
          Well I don't "suck" but I am not the best at creating pitch page headlines.

          I'm obviously doing quite well but I want to take it to the next level, a level I'm not able to reach yet because of a lack of really understanding how to produce a compelling pitch page heading. I know how to write amazing headlines for a blog to get attention, but I still scratch my head at a pitch page one.

          Maybe I should look at them as the same beast?
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