94 replies
Let's say that I wanted to start a humorous blog... okay, has everybody said that? Great! Who are the people in the WF who can write intelligent, yet humorous posts. Whose posts do you enjoy reading? Whose writing brings a smile to your face? Who would you like to grow up to be just like? Who picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue... oops, sorry, I was having an Airplane flashback!

Any suggestions?

Take care and have a great whatever it is wherever you are!
#writers
  • Profile picture of the author JonWebContent
    I can't write intelligent humor because I'm far too immature.

    Although, "intelligent" is a relative term.

    But I did Google "intelligent jokes" and here's the first joke I found.....

    Question: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a philosopher?
    Answer: An offer you can't understand.


    Yeah, I think I'm just going to stick to childish humor after reading that one!
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    • Profile picture of the author Manuelcrc
      Goodluck with your search.
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    • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
      Jon,

      Originally Posted by JonWebContent View Post

      Although, "intelligent" is a relative term.
      Clearly, you haven't met any of my relatives. :rolleyes:


      Frank
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    • Profile picture of the author mki
      Originally Posted by JonWebContent View Post

      Question: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a philosopher?
      Answer: An offer you can't understand.
      I laughed...
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      • Profile picture of the author Tina Golden
        Originally Posted by mki View Post

        I laughed...
        That's probably space fever since you're in orbit.
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  • Profile picture of the author tpw
    Don't add me to the list. I hear I am an asshat.
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    • Profile picture of the author JonWebContent
      Originally Posted by tpw View Post

      Don't add me to the list. I hear I am an asshat.
      You're Canadian???

      Just kidding!
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      • Profile picture of the author tpw
        Originally Posted by JonWebContent View Post

        You're Canadian???

        Just kidding!

        I have been asked by management to not comment on Canadians...
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        Bill Platt, Oklahoma USA, PlattPublishing.com
        Publish Coloring Books for Profit (WSOTD 7-30-2015)
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        • Profile picture of the author JonWebContent
          Originally Posted by tpw View Post

          I have been asked by management to not comment on Canadians...
          Haha!

          I love Canadians. Met a group of Canadian travelers at a bar last weekend and they were good people. I kept calling Canada "America's Hat" and they kept blaming us for all the problems in the world! Good times!
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          • Profile picture of the author Sylvia Meier
            Originally Posted by JonWebContent View Post

            Haha!

            I love Canadians. Met a group of Canadian travelers at a bar last weekend and they were good people. I kept calling Canada "America's Hat" and they kept blaming us for all the problems in the world! Good times!
            We are great now aren't we?
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            • Profile picture of the author JonWebContent
              Originally Posted by Sylvia Rolfe View Post

              We are great now aren't we?
              You do have the best accents, that's for sure! I always wanted to marry a Canadian women because I love the accent!! And beautiful scenery. Spent a summer up in NW Montana (right near the Canadian border) so got to spend a lot of time up in Alberta. If I recall, the town we partied in a few times was called Lethbridge (Lethridge?). It was a few hours south of Calgary. Some fun clubs up there!

              You're still America's hat though!!
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              • Profile picture of the author Sylvia Meier
                Originally Posted by JonWebContent View Post

                You do have the best accents, that's for sure! I always wanted to marry a Canadian women because I love the accent!! And beautiful scenery. Spent a summer up in NW Montana (right near the Canadian border) so got to spend a lot of time up in Alberta. If I recall, the town we partied in a few times was called Lethbridge (Lethridge?). It was a few hours south of Calgary. Some fun clubs up there!

                You're still America's hat though!!
                I love whenever anyone says we have the best accent cause I don't have one, everyone else does LOL.

                I've been to Lethbridge alot when I was younger, not so much as I have become an adult so not too sure how the clubs are there. I know we have some killer clubs here though.

                Sylvia
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                • Profile picture of the author BiancaRaven
                  Originally Posted by Sylvia Meier View Post

                  I love whenever anyone says we have the best accent cause I don't have one, everyone else does LOL.
                  Crikey! That can't be right. See, mate, it's like this. I'm an Aussie and I know I haven't got an accent.

                  Therefore the accent's gotta be coming from you Canadians, coz I sound like a rip-snorter, dinky-di true-blue Aussie without a trace of discernable accent at all!
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              • Profile picture of the author yourreviewer
                Originally Posted by JonWebContent View Post

                I always wanted to marry a Canadian women because
                Are you sure you wanted to marry just one?
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          • Profile picture of the author sylviad
            Originally Posted by JonWebContent View Post

            Haha!

            I love Canadians. Met a group of Canadian travelers at a bar last weekend and they were good people. I kept calling Canada "America's Hat" and they kept blaming us for all the problems in the world! Good times!
            Ah, but then the Americans are always blaming us for your cold, snowy weather.

            Sylvia
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            • Profile picture of the author JonWebContent
              Originally Posted by sylviad View Post

              Ah, but then the Americans are always blaming us for your cold, snowy weather.

              Sylvia
              Well, quit sending your cold weather down here and we wouldn't be complaining!
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              • Profile picture of the author sylviad
                Originally Posted by JonWebContent View Post

                Well, quit sending your cold weather down here and we wouldn't be complaining!
                Truth be told, we blame it on the Inuit, since most of it actually comes down from the Arctic...

                Oh wait. It also comes from Alaska...

                Sylvia
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                • Profile picture of the author JonWebContent
                  Originally Posted by sylviad View Post

                  Truth be told, we blame it on the Inuit, since most of it actually comes down from the Arctic...

                  Oh wait. It also comes from Alaska...

                  Sylvia
                  Ok, fine....

                  You can have Alaska and all the oil they've got. Just send a few pretty girls with sexy accents down here in exchange! Deal?
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                  • Profile picture of the author sylviad
                    Originally Posted by JonWebContent View Post

                    Ok, fine....

                    You can have Alaska and all the oil they've got. Just send a few pretty girls with sexy accents down here in exchange! Deal?
                    I hear there are a lot of those in British Columbia. It's kinda our California.

                    As far as Alaska goes... didn't WE own that once? And now you want to give it back? Interesting.

                    Sylvia
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                  • Profile picture of the author Sylvia Meier
                    Originally Posted by JonWebContent View Post

                    Ok, fine....

                    You can have Alaska and all the oil they've got. Just send a few pretty girls with sexy accents down here in exchange! Deal?
                    If it's warm right now I'll take it, we got another arctic crappy weather day again...
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                  • Profile picture of the author Sylvia Meier
                    Originally Posted by JonWebContent View Post

                    Ok, fine....

                    You can have Alaska and all the oil they've got. Just send a few pretty girls with sexy accents down here in exchange! Deal?
                    Why would we want Alaska? It's already colder then cold in this country.

                    With the way you boys talk about our sexy accents I really should get into doing webinars or something, sell ya'll just by speaking
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                    • Profile picture of the author JonWebContent
                      Originally Posted by Sylvia Rolfe View Post

                      Why would we want Alaska? It's already colder then cold in this country.

                      With the way you boys talk about our sexy accents I really should get into doing webinars or something, sell ya'll just by speaking
                      Ok, but I get a percentage of your earnings because I gave you the idea.
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        • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
          Originally Posted by tpw View Post

          I have been asked by management to not comment on Canadians...
          Go figure, you sent me directions to Ontario for the IM meeting when the it was actually Orlando!

          Wait till you find out what the JV deal was that I made with the Mounties.
          Clue: Listen for hoof steps coming toward you!

          Have a Great Day!
          Michael
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    • Profile picture of the author Sylvia Meier
      Originally Posted by tpw View Post

      Don't add me to the list. I hear I am an asshat.
      LOL Bill, that's my husband's favorite term, just makes me shake my head.

      Chris,

      I would say Bill, (even though he is an asshat ) Zeus always has a good sense of humour, even Alexa. I can write, but I have a very twisted sense of humour that is not to most people's tastes LOL. I would say even Paul Myers would be a good one.

      Honestly though, I really can't think of anyone off hand too easily for such a writing task. Perhaps Thadeus the Hillbilly Marketer?

      Anyways, best of luck with your search.

      Sylvia
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      • Profile picture of the author myob
        You want intelligence and humor?
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    • Profile picture of the author Greg1313
      hey i can be funny- i think?
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  • Profile picture of the author SozzledBoot
    These two isotropic magnetohydrodynamic leptons walk into a Higgs field...!
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  • Profile picture of the author Rikki_Fawkes
    I'll put my hand in simply because, as of the past few months, I've been writing sassy and tastefully irreverent articles for Tyra Banks' new website (as contracted through Demand Media Studios). The intelligence comes from my research; the sassy humor comes right from me (and at times it's evidently spread on a little too thick....)
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  • Profile picture of the author Mohammad Afaq
    Well I would vote myself but my jokes are 90% of the time either lame or misunderstood so nah, forget it.
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    “The first draft of anything is shit.” ~Ernest Hemingway

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  • Profile picture of the author Chris W. Sutton
    Thanks everyone!

    Bill, you are NOT an asshat... I know better than that! Now, a butthead, that's a possibility!

    Honestly though, I really can't think of anyone off hand too easily for such a writing task. Perhaps Thadeus the Hillbilly Marketer?
    Sylvia, I thought of Thad but he is such a huge "gooroo" that I'm not sure he would do it. I will ask him tough.

    Paul Myers
    See, I've heard a rumor that Paul and Thad are the same person! Just look at the similarities...

    1. Thad lives in Stumpwoody Holler and Paul is an honorary resident!

    2. Thad is a hillbilly and Paul is a redneck!

    3. They are both members of the WF!

    4. Paul is a huge Dr. Who fan and Thad likes listening to The Who!

    5. Thads favorite band is ZZ Top and Paul... well, never mind about that one!

    6. Paul is a friend of Allen Says and Thad has heard of Allen Says!

    7. They both know Kevin Riley!

    8. They both know that shine is NOT what you do to shoes!

    9. If you mention "Wild Turkey", hunting is NOT the first thing that comes to their minds!

    ... and last but not least

    10. Both Paul and Thad have 4 letters in their name.

    Well, there you have it! The writing is on the wall! Paul and Thad are the same person!

    BTW, I can give you most of the clues about Beatle Paul being dead too!
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    • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
      Excuse me, Mr Sutton, but I would never pick a nom de plume that translated into "Teddy Pig."

      Just sayin'...


      Paul
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      Stop by Paul's Pub - my little hangout on Facebook.

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  • Profile picture of the author Benjamin Ehinger
    Originally Posted by Chris W. Sutton View Post

    Let's say that I wanted to start a humorous blog... okay, has everybody said that? Great! Who are the people in the WF who can write intelligent, yet humorous posts. Whose posts do you enjoy reading? Whose writing brings a smile to your face? Who would you like to grow up to be just like? Who picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue... oops, sorry, I was having an Airplane flashback!

    Any suggestions?

    Take care and have a great whatever it is wherever you are!
    I cannot say that I have found much humor in this forum myself, but there are some good writers here, that is for sure. I consider myself to be a good writer and I, personally, want to grow up to be just like me one day. That is, if I ever decide to grow up. BTW thanks for the airplane flashback that took me back to building models and getting a glue high.

    Benjamin Ehinger
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
    Here's another clue for you all:

    I (YOU) WAS

    If you get that reference, then YOU rock!

    All the best,
    Michael

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    "Ich bin en fuego!"
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    • Profile picture of the author Andyhenry
      Originally Posted by Michael Oksa View Post

      Here's another clue for you all:

      I (YOU) WAS
      Are you a Beatles fan?
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      nothing to see here.

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      • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
        Originally Posted by Andyhenry View Post

        Are you a Beatles fan?


        Yes, it was one of the clues to Paul McCartney's "death". Wasn't sure if anybody knew exactly where the reference itself came from.

        All the best,
        Michael
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        "Ich bin en fuego!"
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    • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
      Michael,

      Originally Posted by Michael Oksa View Post

      Here's another clue for you all:
      I (YOU) WAS

      If you get that reference, then YOU rock!
      Those of us who visit the OT forum are aware of your Beatles devotion.


      Frank
      Signature


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  • Profile picture of the author Chris W. Sutton
    Excuse me, Mr Sutton, but I would never pick a nom de plume that translated into "Teddy Pig."

    Just sayin'...


    Paul
    I'm sorry Mr. Myers... I don't think I made myself clear. When I said that Thaddaeus T. Hogg and Paul Myers were one and the same, I meant that "Paul Myers" was the nom de plume! Thaddaeus is the real one!
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  • Profile picture of the author Andyhenry
    I can only write funny stuff when using my pen name: Charles Farqua Seabiscuit DonkeyBlanket the 3rd.
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    nothing to see here.

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    • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
      Originally Posted by Andyhenry View Post

      I can only write funny stuff when using my pen name: Charles Farqua Seabiscuit DonkeyBlanket the 3rd.
      Andy, I think that domain name is available...
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      • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
        Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

        Andy, I think that domain name is available...
        You're right, CharlesFarquaSeabiscuitDonkeyBlanketthe3rd.com IS available. I THOUGHT I registered it, but I accidentally got CharlesFarquaSeabicsuitDonkeyBlanketthe3rd.com instead.

        ~M~
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        "Ich bin en fuego!"
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris W. Sutton
    I (YOU) WAS
    Micheal, you've gone off your meds again, haven't you?
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris W. Sutton
    Surely there are more people who can write funny stuff, aren't there? (I know, I know, I called you Shirley... another Airplane reference).

    Okay, how about this... who would be someone who could write as a character?
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    • Profile picture of the author Sylvia Meier
      Originally Posted by Chris W. Sutton View Post

      Surely there are more people who can write funny stuff, aren't there? (I know, I know, I called you Shirley... another Airplane reference).

      Okay, how about this... who would be someone who could write as a character?
      My husband enjoys acting like another character, I am sure he would love the job (Don't worry he can write too.)

      Sylvia
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    • Profile picture of the author tpw
      [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author MarkWrites
      Originally Posted by Chris W. Sutton View Post

      Okay, how about this... who would be someone who could write as a character?
      As Internet Marketing Guru to the Stars®, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to a few of the introductory philosophies from my 138 part series "With a Little Luck, You Too Could Be Me".

      Point #12: If there's one thing I cannot tolerate in life it's repetition, repetition, repetition.

      Point #16: A gut feeling will only take you so far in life, to complete the journey you need an intestinal algorithm.

      Point #19: As a young lad, my mum would often tell me regarding research to "be careful when you dig deep down to the bottom of something, you might have trouble extracting yourself". It was so inspiring to me that after she passed away I had it put on her headstone.

      In closing, I would like to summon up as much false sincerity as possible to wish you good luck in your search, and good day.



      ***My apologies if this message doesn't get through to you in a timely manner, I'm typing from the deck of my yacht in Jamaica and due to the fact that I haven't fastened the top three buttons on my shirt since the early nineties , occasionally the glare from the gold chain around my neck interferes with my WiFi signal.
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      • Profile picture of the author myob
        Two drunks go bar hopping. After hitting the last bar, they collapse onto the floor.
        The gymnist instructor comes up and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"
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  • Profile picture of the author SozzledBoot
    Why can't we all just laugh before something funny is ever said and be done with it?
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris W. Sutton
    Well, by golly, this is great! Not only am I getting suggestions for writers but a few of them have come in here to audition for me!!!
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris W. Sutton
    My husband enjoys acting like another character, I am sure he would love the job (Don't worry he can write too.)

    Sylvia
    Sylvia, ACTING like another character is schizophrenic... WRITING like another character is useful!
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    • Profile picture of the author Sylvia Meier
      Originally Posted by Chris W. Sutton View Post

      Sylvia, ACTING like another character is schizophrenic... WRITING like another character is useful!
      LOL See Chris you can be funny all by yourself, why do you need us little old writers? I am sure we could work something out if you're interested.
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris W. Sutton
    LOL See Chris you can be funny all by yourself, why do you need us little old writers? I am sure we could work something out if you're interested.
    Being funny is lonely work! I want some company!
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  • Profile picture of the author TrekkieGrrrl
    Originally Posted by Chris W. Sutton View Post

    Let's say that I wanted to start a humorous blog... okay, has everybody said that? Great! Who are the people in the WF who can write intelligent, yet humorous posts. Whose posts do you enjoy reading? Whose writing brings a smile to your face? Who would you like to grow up to be just like? Who picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue... oops, sorry, I was having an Airplane flashback!

    Any suggestions?

    Take care and have a great whatever it is wherever you are!
    I can only show humor in my "reasons for edit" comments. It's a flaw. I'm sure there's some kind of therapy for it. Maybe a support group. Somewhere.
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  • Profile picture of the author SozzledBoot
    My jokes are funny but most folks are afraid to be caught laughing at them. So they have resigned themselves to being closet guffawers. That's right...they only laugh at my humor after the sun has long set and most of the younger generation are safely snug in their beds, mercifully oblivious to my bunker-busting quick-witted retorts.

    You know who you are. It's all you can do to keep from spitting coke all over your screen the moment my text starts appearing in some obscure post here at the WF. Why I'd be willing to bet that even your onions are laughing at me to the point of tears as I write this and spreading the word to potatoes, carrots and God only knows what other imported head of lettuce or surly passion fruit - you know how vegetables love to gossip about you behind your back! Listen -when I say "dinner's calling" - I'm talking about hearing real voices *wipes forehead*!

    Now I'm not normally this hilarious but I'm having a special this week. Humor is all about attitude. You have to keep yourself motivated, in high spirits and - ok, maybe you have to be on at least one form of prescription drug - but my point is you all want to laugh, you have to laugh and try as you might the day is coming when everyone will laugh!

    I gotta go, warden's coming down the hall!

    MENTAL NOTE: never place the Vicks Vapo-Rub next to the jalapeno dip.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
    Originally Posted by Chris W. Sutton View Post

    Let's say that I wanted to start a humorous blog... okay, has everybody said that? Great! Who are the people in the WF who can write intelligent, yet humorous posts. Whose posts do you enjoy reading? Whose writing brings a smile to your face? Who would you like to grow up to be just like? Who picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue... oops, sorry, I was having an Airplane flashback!

    Any suggestions?

    Take care and have a great whatever it is wherever you are!
    OK, I finally had a chance to read the OP...lol

    What is the sites Comedy Rating? G - PG - PG13 - PG17 - R - X - XX - XXX

    I mean I don't want to start a Sweet Molly Brown skit if the site is rated G
    and I don't want to do a Charley Chan skit if the rating is PG and I don't
    want to do a Here's to the Crack skit if the the rating is PG13 and I don't
    want to do a I've been to skit if the rating is PG17...so If the site is R, X,
    XX or XXX then I'm Game!

    I've got nothing!

    Have a Great Day!
    Michael
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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    You want funny? I have one word for you ... Dan C. Rinnert.

    Okay, that was more than one word, but I didn't start counting until after the "C."

    Chris Sutton is pretty funny too, you might look him up. I'm only naming people that haven't been named. No sense flogging those who have already been flogged.

    You know, a lot of folks are funny here with the right set up. Grunhilda Fuzzbottom had me laughing yesterday, but her post got deleted.
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    Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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    • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
      Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

      You want funny? I have one word for you ... Dan C. Rinnert.

      Okay, that was more than one word, but I didn't start counting until after the "C."

      Chris Sutton is pretty funny too, you might look him up. I'm only naming people that haven't been named. No sense flogging those who have already been flogged.

      You know, a lot of folks are funny here with the right set up. Grunhilda Fuzzbottom had me laughing yesterday, but her post got deleted.
      Naming Names here is a NO NO Here....
      Dennis you know better.



      Oh, My bad, Sorry Dennis.
      You were naming people not names.

      OK, My humor is off a little.
      OK, OK it's off a lot...:rolleyes:

      Have a Great Day!
      Michael
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      • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
        Originally Posted by Michael Mayo View Post

        OK, My humor is off a little.
        OK, OK it's off a lot...:rolleyes:
        I know what you mean. I would have applied for the job but my humor trends toward the absurd more often than the intelligent. And when I think I've made an intelligent funny there usually aren't any intelligent people around to appreciate it, so I don't really know if it's going over people's heads or they're ignoring me out of pity.

        Sigh...it's rough being me. If you don't believe that just try it sometime.
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        • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
          Dennis, I've been there, done that and wrote the ebook?
          Now if only someone would buy it???

          Have a Great Day!
          Michael
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          • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
            Originally Posted by Michael Mayo View Post

            Dennis, I've been there, done that and wrote the ebook?
            Now if only someone would buy it???
            Can I get a review copy? If I like it I'll write a testimonial for you. Social proof and all that.
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            Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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            • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
              Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

              Can I get a review copy? If I like it I'll write a testimonial for you. Social proof and all that.
              Dennis, Dennis, Dennis, Here we go again!

              You know it's forbidden to ask for review copies here!
              Umm, or is that in the WSO forum?

              Anyway, I can get a review even if they don't like it at that 5er site for
              ...let me look...Oh yeah, $5.

              Did you really think I was going to give you a FREE COPY of my $1999.00
              ebook so that you can say you don't like it and avoid giving me a review?
              ....Sheesh! Go Getta a job!

              Oops, Did I just name a name? <GoGetta>

              I'm outta here before that Paul guy comes!! ->>>

              Exit, Stage Left! Umm, the other left ->>>
              Have a Great Day/Night!
              Michael
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              • Profile picture of the author Tina Golden
                Chris,

                I'm not sure that intelligent humor is such a wise idea. They say you must write to the average 8th grader when writing on the internet.

                Perhaps you'd be better off getting a couple of average 8th graders?

                As a fringe benefit, I hear they work cheap, too.
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                • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
                  Originally Posted by Tina Golden View Post

                  Chris,

                  I'm not sure that intelligent humor is such a wise idea. They say you must write to the average 8th grader when writing on the internet.

                  Perhaps you'd be better off getting a couple of average 8th graders?

                  As a fringe benefit, I hear they work cheap, too.
                  Well If you take Tina's advise then make sure they have failed a few times so
                  that they are over 16yrs old. That way they won't be limited to how many
                  hours they can work each day while in school.

                  Ok, Now I'm really Outta here,
                  Have a Great Day/Night!
                  Michael
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                • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
                  Originally Posted by Tina Golden View Post

                  Chris,

                  I'm not sure that intelligent humor is such a wise idea. They say you must write to the average 8th grader when writing on the internet.

                  Perhaps you'd be better off getting a couple of average 8th graders?

                  As a fringe benefit, I hear they work cheap, too.
                  It's not just the internet...my publisher told me to write to a 9th grade reading level -- and that was for a COLLEGE textbook. Makes you wonder...
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                  • Profile picture of the author Zabrina
                    Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

                    It's not just the internet...my publisher told me to write to a 9th grade reading level -- and that was for a COLLEGE textbook. Makes you wonder...
                    I'm surrounded by college students... I can believe that. :rolleyes: Now to go close my room windows, since someone outside is exuding a type of smoke that isn't cigarette smoke. On a completely unrelated note, of course.

                    And hey, I'm proud of my accent. Even if it's not quite a normal Canadian one, but then, I'm not a normal Canadian. :p
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan C. Rinnert
      Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

      You want funny? I have one word for you ... Dan C. Rinnert.
      WHAT!? I thought my webcam was off! Did you hack into it? How the heck do you know what I look like? I'm going to have to cover that thing with duct tape.
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      • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
        Originally Posted by Dan C. Rinnert View Post

        WHAT!? I thought my webcam was off! Did you hack into it? How the heck do you know what I look like? I'm going to have to cover that thing with duct tape.
        Better duct tape your windows too, I have people everywhere.
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        Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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        • Profile picture of the author Dan C. Rinnert
          Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

          Better duct tape your windows too, I have people everywhere.
          No worries. I keep the shades closed.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
    Listen! This post is nothin' but a load of codswallop. Back in my day we were happy with what we had. We didn't have no fancy "com-puting machines" to entertain us.

    Nope.

    When we got the gumption to have some fun we got a bag of onions and a stick. And we would beat that bag of onions with the stick until we would smell like onions for days.

    I'll tell you, we used to love smeeling like onions! Why? Because then everybody knew you had a good time. And they'd be jealous and run home to their ma and pa and ask for a bag of onions of their own, but they wouldn't get one because they were little babies.

    Just like the little babies who are in here asking for somebody to be funny. Well, I can tell you president Hoover would never ask for something like that! People had other things to worry about. What with getting their kids onion-beating sticks and all. Yes. We had it tough, but it made us who we are, and we didn't need somebody coming around asking for favors.

    You hippies are nothing but trouble! "Oh, we want this and we want that!" Well you can't have it. And if you have it, you don't deserve it. And if you deserve it, you don't appreciate it. Burlap was always the best material for an onion bag.
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    "Ich bin en fuego!"
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
    Dan, Look under the bed.... Your talking to Dennis!!!

    ~MM~
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan C. Rinnert
      Originally Posted by Michael Mayo View Post

      Dan, Look under the bed.... Your talking to Dennis!!!
      I hope he cleans up the dust bunnies while he's under there.
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      • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
        Originally Posted by Dan C. Rinnert View Post

        I hope he cleans up the dust bunnies while he's under there.
        Clean them? I collect them, and that's where I store them. Someday I'm going to have a massive Dust Bunny WSO event and really rake it.


        Pfft. Amateurs.
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        • Profile picture of the author Dan C. Rinnert
          Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

          Clean them? I collect them, and that's where I store them. Someday I'm going to have a massive Dust Bunny WSO event and really rake it.
          No, you won't. Because, right before the launch, I will RELEASE THE KRAKEN!
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  • Profile picture of the author donhx
    Originally Posted by Chris W. Sutton View Post

    Let's say that I wanted to start a humorous blog... okay, has everybody said that? Great! Who are the people in the WF who can write intelligent, yet humorous posts. Whose posts do you enjoy reading? Whose writing brings a smile to your face? Who would you like to grow up to be just like? Who picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue... oops, sorry, I was having an Airplane flashback!

    Any suggestions?

    Take care and have a great whatever it is wherever you are!

    Humorous stuff? It's easy to write. All you need to do is put, "bah bam" at the end of each sentence.
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    • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
      Originally Posted by donhx View Post

      Humorous stuff? It's easy to write. All you need to do is put, "bah bam" at the end of each sentence.
      Really?

      John Taylor always says Test Test Test. It's the only way to know for sure, Bah Bam!

      Hey did It Work ??? :confused:
      Inquiring Minds Want to Know?

      Have a Great Ummm, Night?
      Michael
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      • Profile picture of the author Joshua Rigley
        Banned
        Originally Posted by Michael Mayo View Post

        Really?

        John Taylor always says Test Test Test. It's the only way to know for sure, Bah Bam!

        Hey did It Work ??? :confused:
        Inquiring Minds Want to Know?

        Have a Great Ummm, Night?
        Michael
        No no, you need to say it at the end of each sentence, Bah Bam! Sometimes it helps if you had emphasis, Bah BAM!

        See, Bah Bam?
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    • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
      Originally Posted by donhx View Post

      Humorous stuff? It's easy to write. All you need to do is put, "bah bam" at the end of each sentence.
      I always thought it was bah-duh boom.

      Let's try it.

      My neighbor had a dog specially bred. It's a cross between a Cocker Spaniel and a Pit Bull. He tells folks it's a Cockpit.

      He's a pilot. Bah-duh boom!



      Did it work?
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      Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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      • Profile picture of the author JonWebContent
        Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

        I always thought it was bah-duh boom.

        Let's try it.

        My neighbor had a dog specially bred. It's a cross between a Cocker Spaniel and a Pit Bull. He tells folks it's a Cockpit.

        He's a pilot. Bah-duh boom!



        Did it work?
        I went to a comedy club the other day and I can tell you as cheesy as that joke was, it was still better than ANYTHING I heard.
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      • Profile picture of the author donhx
        Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

        I always thought it was bah-duh boom.

        Let's try it.

        My neighbor had a dog specially bred. It's a cross between a Cocker Spaniel and a Pit Bull. He tells folks it's a Cockpit.

        He's a pilot. Bah-duh boom!



        Did it work?

        "Bah duh boom" What kind of rim shot is that? I think "bah bam" has the more authentic drum sound.
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  • Profile picture of the author Joshua Rigley
    Banned
    If there is one thing I can't do, it's write humor on demand. I can make a witty post when it fits and the opportunity presents itself, but if I try to force it in, it's corny, at best.

    Intelligent posts come naturally to me, unfortunately. I say this, because Intellectuals make for boring reads. Sometimes I wish I was an idiot, then I could be humorous on demand. But I'm not. I guess it's a cross I'll just have to bear.

    Seriously though, I would LOVE to contribute to a opinion blog with smart and witty writers. The Internet could use more content like that.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rod Cortez
    The Hamster King is pretty funny, though I haven't seen him around here lately. I'm def not funny. I'm more of an assclown. lol

    Sutton only THINKs he's funny.......

    RoD
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  • Profile picture of the author Jacqueline Smith
    Just had to pop in and give my two cents....

    I'm a writer but, not with the style you are looking for......although, I am really freakin' funny....just a tad on the sarcastic side which isn't everyone's cup of tea.

    Anyway....I read this ad in the 'warriors for hire' section and thought it was brilliant. I don't know the writer at all but he sounds like he might be just what you are looking for. I hope it's okay to post the link to his ad....

    http://www.warriorforum.com/warriors...dQfNDy5JH2Ee2p

    If not, sorry mods.....just trying to help out a fellow warrior!

    Even if you're not looking for a writer....read this guys ad.....a great example of good copy in my opinion.

    And....I too am a proud Canadian who does not have an accent!
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  • Profile picture of the author gforces
    Looks like there is a ton of talent in the writing niche right here in this thread... I think I'll come back everyday from now on just to get a bigger smile on my face than I usually have!!
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  • Profile picture of the author Thaddaeus T. Hogg
    Yep, ole Thad shore nuff is a great big gooroo! Now, I don't like to be braggin but I make an upper level, two figger income each an ever month! It's all discretion airy income cause I gots all I be needin... I raise my own vittles or find em on the side of the road. I have a brand spankin new outdoors crapper. I make my own shine... ummm, tea. I has a mity fine pig. What more could folks ask for?

    I mite be persuasioned to scribe for some folks. That thar price would be steepern the hill out at Ole Foamy though! Tain't many folk could afford it. I would be requiren 4 packs of Hillbilly Heaven chaw, 2 gallons of Granny Fanny's Mity Fine Shine, 2 tickets to the next ZZ Top concert next time they come to the annual Holler Waller, 4 sticks a dynamite for the next time I go fishin (or a hand crank phone in workin condition), an annual subscription to Playpiggy Magazine and an exact replica of Mr. Paul Myer's hat!

    I shore hope the modulators don't get rid a this post for me offerin my services but most folk couldn't afford it anyways!
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  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    I think that he writers of The big Bang Theory show combines
    humor and intelligence. You may want to model off of them
    or maybe that is not the kind of intelligence you are looking
    for.

    British humor is better as combining those two elements than
    American humor.

    -Ray Edwards
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  • Profile picture of the author Rose Anderson
    A three legged dog walks into a saloon and tells the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!!"

    ok...you all probably didn't deserve that, but I couldn't resist.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan C. Rinnert
      Originally Posted by Rose Anderson View Post

      A three legged dog walks into a saloon and tells the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!!"
      It was the dog's fault for not being able to hold his liquor and ruining the dining room floor.
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      • Profile picture of the author myob
        You just gotta do the "bah bam" or the "bah-duh boom" at the end. I forgot about it, too.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mac the Knife
    God I HATE shameless self promotion! It makes me sick! I just threw up a little in my mouth just THINKING about selflessly promoting oneself just to get some extra work! GEEZ!

    Here's a little thread I put up a while ago that landed me 9 or 10 jobs based around the humor thang:

    http://www.warriorforum.com/adsense-...imization.html

    ;-)

    Mac the Knife
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  • Profile picture of the author stevmark008
    There are lots here. I can even write for you. You can also hire somebody in freelancer sites. There are of writers there also.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan C. Rinnert
      Originally Posted by stevmark008 View Post

      There are of writers there also.
      They are of peace, always, too.
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