One way to build warmth and Rapport with your list

I stumbled into this. I'm always authentic with it.
I just share a little about a problem I am having and
some insight about what I am learning.

It takes you (the list-owning guru-guy) off the pedestal
and says "yeah, I sell stuff on the internet but I'm
also a flesh-and-blood person who does dumb stuff and
struggles sometimes too" - and you can lead by example.

Here's the email I sent out:


_________________________________________________

Coping with stress and toxic people in your life...



I’m not very good at this. I get stressed-out and I flip
a little.

I’ve tried to design my life to reduce stress for this
reason: stress stresses me out.

In practice you can develop your ability to take stress...
and let’s be honest, some folks only perform well under
stress. Many workplaces are stressful - and that’s why I
work at home - so I don’t have to do the “workplace stress”
thing.

Unfortunately recently I have a stressful thing going on...
in my home.

You see, when Tess and I moved from Los Angeles to
Massachusetts we decided to lease a biggish house with some
extra rooms. We don’t need the rooms but we like the
sprawling grounds and natural surroundings of this house.

So we rented two rooms out. We saw no reason not to.

And one of the tenants is a nightmare.

He’s a deadbeat. He’s an alcoholic. He got fired from his
job the second day he lived here... for drinking on the job!
He smokes in his room even though we repeatedly tell him
not to. No respect. He’s irresponsible. The second time he
left the oven on and went to his room to pass out - that
was it. This guy had to go.

So we told him to move out. We haven’t done an eviction.
We’ve been just real unfriendly and adamant that he has
to go.

And sometimes that’s what you need to do to get toxic people
to move out of your life.

We can call it “tough love” or whatever but the truth is
that sometimes you have to push another person to get away
from you.

And if you are by nature sort of kind and compassionate,
which both Tess and I are, it’s kind of hard to be harsh
with somebody.

So this young man has got to go. Tomorrow he’ll be gone.
Of course he’ll probably beg to stay one more night - unless
by a miracle he’s charmed somebody else into renting to him.
If not I’ll be taking him to a homeless shelter.

Hard-line time.

Unpleasant stuff.

Just kind of stressful.

I’ve pushed people out of my life before and will probably
have to do so again. In most cases it’s more subtle than
kicking somebody out on the street - and count yourself
fortunate for that.

Anyhow, take a look at your life and ask yourself “who
around me is dragging me down with their actions and
attitudes” - and try to find a way to decrease or eliminate
that person’s influence on your life.

It’s not always easy - but it’s best to nip these things in
the bud - because somebody like a drunk or crazy person
can really get their hooks in you.

It’s a little hard for me to stay calm right now... so I
can’t really tell you to “stay frosty” or something clever
like that.

Wish me well. Thanks,

Loren Woirhaye