This website of mine is FRUSTRATING

without being disrespectful those sort of single page salesletters always just look like spam to me.

i'm not basing this on anything other than my own instincts, but thats probably why you're not selling.

Hi Matt,

I gave this product to a guy here who has written for many of the gurus and this is the sales letter that he wrote for me.

It should have gotten me at least 1-2 sales every day or two.

Tal

I have to agree with the other commentators; the page screams me too! I hate the font and your pitch heading is a little too long. Need to differentiate yourself from the pack a bit. Add an exit script too before they leave to get their attention. You might want to play around with price points as well.

I agree, those single page salesletters do always just look like spam and I suppose a lot of people think the same.

Ahh well..

I'm slightly nervous of posting this, as I intend no offense to anyone, but will be honest, anyway.

That copy was not written by a copywriter: it was written by someone pretending to be a copywriter.

It's just painfully dreadful from beginning to end.

There simply isn't a "type of traffic" that that page can ever convert. I'm honestly surprised you've had 3 or 4 sales out of 10,000 visitors (they can't have been native English-speakers - and neither was your "copywriter", for sure).

Tal, seriously, the only way forward is to throw that sales page away and start again with a copywriter. And if you put a similar post in the copywriting forum, I promise you that that's what nearly all the honest replies there from experienced copywriters will tell you to do, too.

Sorry, but it wouldn't be doing you a favour at all to say anything different from this.

My honest opinion? EVERYONE has an "easy way to make $100 per day online" at home. To me, it's an overused cliche. Is that what the product is actually called or is that what you chose to market it? Perhaps you should reevaluate your entire marketing strategy - keyword choices, etc?

The font sizes in the sales letter are too small. The main body text needs to be a bit larger. I know people scan for headings and subheadings, but I just did that on your page because it hurt my eyes to try to look at the other stuff.

The testimonials could use a lot of work.

What about putting location and occupation or other tid bits that would make them more believable? Just my personal bias but the small plain font and background color bother me when I read them.

I think video testimonials are critical for this site.

Tal, can I ask you a question?

Do your other, more successful sites, look like that one?

I'm asking because that style of page does absolutely nothing for me...

When I see that kind of sales letter I just kinda glaze over - maybe if I was interested in the offer it'd be different - or maybe I have just seen too many just like that.

I'm not trying to be rude ( I can see you've been on this board a long time...) I'm just asking.

Regards,
K

Apart from a bad layout, what is the USP? There are thousands of these sites and your visitors are probably quite jaded from this content. Why should they pay attention to you, especially when there are farm more authoritative voices in this market? Answer that and you are on the right path. Tip - if you answer "but I am ..." then that is a fail.

Also, take a look at the time on site. 10 seconds? Thats about the time it took me to scroll down and look for a reason to actually read this. Nothing caught me eye and I closed the page. Or is it longer (2 minutes) where they are reading?

And last point - thought about video copy?

Based on these numbers you should be raking it in. What gives???

1. Agree 100% with Alexa... the copy is dreadful... full of weak cliches.

2. I don't believe your screen shots and neither does anyone else.
Before you get upset... I'm not calling you a liar. I'm saying that fake
screen shots are so common that even honest ones are ineffective.

3. The font is hard to read. Change to a non-serif font and make it larger.

4. The page formatting is atrocious. There is no right or left margin
in the table. This is also a pet peeve of mine.... you have the text center
justified. No problem there except, like many people, you put so much text
on the first line the the second line contains only one or two words. It just
looks you were too careless abut the appearance of the page. Not good.

5. Lose the header graphic. It looks like you made it with one of those
free header generating things.

6. What makes you think the $37 price is right?

7. The earnings disclaimer is annoying. Putting it in all caps and
light gray font makes it look like you're trying to hide something.

Sadly, there isn't much I like about the site. It's no surprise to me
that you aren't getting many sales.

Next I would put some focus into the design aspect of your site... when a visitor comes to your site the first thing that catches their eye is the graphics / layout of your site and then they focus more on the content. I have personally seen hundreds of sites with about the same layout along with a simple and unattractive header.

Recommendations on this would be add a more professional header to your product page and along with that maybe a background with a company logo thats faint kind of like a watermark. I think this would boost your conversion rate a bit.

I opened it up for 5 seconds and I saw the problem instantly. You need to re do the landing page graphics. Invest about $200 on it and it should be fine. You need more formatting on the sales letter as well. Come on, your words are all align way to near the borders and you need more professional looking boxes in your sales page as well. I get the feeling of this page being very unprofessional. I hope this helps

people need to start doing video footage of going to the bank, entering your card, asking for a statement, watching it print out then showing it on video.

Either that or video footage pointing at your monitor with something like a timer and a burning candle next to it so you can see that it hasn't been paused and things edited (can still be faked but I reckon it is so rarely done that people wouldn't have any problems believe it). Then you log on, show your online banking and so forth, editing bits people shouldn't see.

Anyway, if the copywriter was really good, it probably wouldn't even be necessary to show proof of earnings.

Am I missing something here?

You only charge $37 per month.

Looks like you want to charge $37 every month...

I might not think about buying a product for $37 only...
but I would re-think a monthly charge of $37 every month...
IMO that is your problem...

You have a $37 continuity product....that is a very tough sell...

Well,

That letter is so bad, I wouldn't even begin to make suggestions of how to improve it. It would be easier to rewrite it completely.

Seriously though, if you paid someone for it I would do a charge back on your credit card. No way that was written by someone who writes for the guru's.

Either they outright lied to you or I need to check my calendar to see if it April Fools day.

You really wrote this yourself didn't you? And you just playing a joke on us?

What do you guys think of the OLD sales page:

10 Easy Ways To Generate $100 Per Day Online

Does it look better in your view?

Tal

Urgh, this is what annoys me about being a legit, professional copywriter. I have to fight against the dreggs and fakers that wrote this junk for you Tal.

Sorry to be blunt, but this really frustrates me. These wannabe writers who haven't got a clue what they're doing, taking good honest clients like yourself down a dead-end, wasting your time and money.

Whenever I have insecurities about my own ability to sell well, I'll come back to this thread and remind myself what I'm "up against."

But this isn't about me, it's about you.

The first thing I would suggest is repositioning the entire offer. The angle sounds more like a blog post that has been copy pasted into a word document.

Secondly, I'd hire a professional to create a page that looks, well, professional.

Remember, you're targeting the general public here, not marketing savvy types. They're going to see your page and compare it to the professional websites they visit every day through work or pleasure, and it won't work out in your favor.

Next, I would create a far better story. The whole "I was scammed, then I magically found a solution, but I'm not going to explain how, or why you can't..." is a recipe for disaster.

It's unbelievable, and not in a cool way.

Proof - text only testimonials and income screenshots are 3rd tier proof at best.

Video testimonials? Better.
Video testimonials from target market? Better still.

But to be honest, when done right, sales copy doesn't need testimonials. It just needs a compelling reason why, along with credibility and an exciting, believable offer.

Before you hire another copywriter, consider the whole angle and offer itself. Because even a crappy wannabe copywriter can do ok when the offer feels credible, high value, and real.

P.S - Also, the offer is very vague. It's like you're targeting work at home moms, but also marketers... and anyone else who will listen. Who is your target audience? Figure this out, before you do anything else. Trust me, it's much easier to position your sales pitch when you know who you're talking to.

A sales letter for work at home moms isn't going to sell to both marketers and non-technical, busy mothers. Even the design itself needs to be different, depending on who you're targeting.

Besides the sales letter being so bad, I don't like the design of the site. The color, the header and the screenshots scream scam all over the place.

Expert copywriters can tell you if I am wrong or right with this: it should be better to have a headline that promises the number one way to do something than 10 different ways to achieve the same.

I'm far from good at this, in fact I know very little about IM, but looking From a complete starters point of view, pixilated graphics and tacky templates don't scream professional, sorry man

Hope I helped a little

A few simple questions

Would you buy this course if I tried to sell this to you?
Why should someone pay you $37/month for an ebook?


One of the funniest lines in your copy

"But in that moment of my deepest desperation, when I thought that all was lost and there was just no way to really make money with an internet business, I discovered over 10 ways to make money online."


How can someone discover 10 different ways to make money from desperation?

I don't think that this copy converts even if you sell it for $7

Some suggestions

Change your copy
Try different price point
Observe other successful copies, fonts etc

Hope it helps

Content is quiet confusing on your page, not a great sales copy! If I am an organic visitor to this site, I will simply consider it as spam work (no offense intended) because of some factors. First of all look at header, it looks like this header has been copied from somewhere else. Name of your site on header has a different background color than background color of header, I think you tried it at MS Paint or software which cannot match colors.

Sales copy is not good, look at first heading, Jump-Start Your Work At home Experience, not so effective. Do you update your sales page on daily basis?? If not then no need to mention date within in the content of sale copy. Providing Free Newsletter option is a good idea but you are using it too early at your page. I am not still convinced enough by your thoughts then why should I subscribe to a Newsletter?? Repeating same Image for Sales Proof twice is not a good idea. Overall content of sales copy is not compelling and that's why not resulting into more sales.

So try another sales copy writer and review your header as well.

Thanks

The page is just plain ugly. Sorry to say. When you talk about making money online, it should electrify people. Every word they read must take them a step closer to believe what you're saying to them. The header is really low quality, get something which will look classy or add a video in the beginning of the page itself. Change the theme as well, the gray on the sides also looks extremely dull. The concept of making money online is meant to excite people, not bore them. Try changing the font as well. The page looks very ordinary. You might be having real methods of making money online but other false guys who just sell useless courses and ebooks have much better and much more exciting landing pages than this one. I don't think you need any of us to tell you all this. Have a look at another make money online landing page and you'll easily make out the differences.

One thing which I like to add, try rather increasing your price. Yes, I said that. Because there is a common belief and a well known fact among internet marketers that these courses are sold by guys who were successful a long time ago and are now making money online only by selling their obsolete methods for a low price. Maybe your visitors are counting among those people. It may not be true but just some food for thought.