Do you feel invincible now that you know what you know?

I've never felt invincible as such. But 3 years ago when I started University I was the most laid back, care-free person you could meet.

When I returned home for christmas, on christmas day my mother had a gallbladder attack, caused by a gallstone stuck in one of her tubes.

This required immediate surgery. The following day my mother complained that her chest was in-fact getting worse.

On boxing day she was diagnosed with Acute respiratory distress syndrome. She developed a fibroses of the lungs and on new years I had to sit in-front of her, and I remember it so vividly as if it were yesterday.

I asked, "your going to be ok right?" *This was moments before putting her into induced coma*

For the first time (and my mum was always positive), she looked at me with defeated eyes, and said I don't know.

That last line really got to me. She then battled with this syndrome for 4 whole months in induced coma. At times we were told that what has happened to her is very rare for it to happen to anyone, and chances are slim.

I remember the nurse asking me to say something, because sometimes in coma they can still respond to what you say. I said, "hey mum how are you doing, can you hear me". At that point her finger twitched.

It was amazing because it was the first sign I'd seen from her in months.

Those 4 months were the longest 4 months of my life. In the end, she made it.

But the worry did not stop there, doctors then said that the fibrosis she had develop was one that was irreversible and ended up fatal within a few short years.

Apparently they had miss diagnosed her and that scare lasted only a short spell. That whole traumatic experience is now the reason why I have taken my reality check, and that care-free guy back in '08 is not as enthuthiastic and care-free as he once was.

I've had one of our families best holidays become a memory of what happened. Our family now rarely celebrates it.

I've also developed Depression after the trauma. Something I'm still battling now. I get anxiety and panic attacks, palpitations and general feeling of death.

IM gave me something to aim for, something to shine a light into the darkness that creeps in our lifes.

Getting to the point, I'm now more aware of what is possible. And I prepare myself for anything (contradicting because in the end your never really ready for it), not taking the now for granted.

You haven't wasted your time... i get what you're trying to say.. i get it... what i am trying to get across is this: I saw my dad take his final breath 5:30 in the morning, we have a tradition here that the dying man should be given holy water in his final hour, basically sons do it and then cremating him took a toll on me... i had to undergo therapy for over a year, as soon as i was out of it, i knew i never wanted to attend another funeral, but then it happened yet again. I understand that life isnt predictable... But this is the strongest i have felt in a LONG TIME!

I wanted do do something besides sitting on my computer all day, So i gave an interview for a telemarketing job when i was 16 (They didnt know i was 16 until they read my resume) I went through the different stages they had and they finally asked me my about age and i told them i was 16 but i could get the job done,... Guess what?? they hired me anyway.. out of the 200 or so "qualified" people that were gunning for this position only 10 were selected and i was one of them.

It was a australian process called bargain breaks if you live in Australia, you've probably gotten this call:
"hey this is shane and im calling you from bargain breaks... how are you doing today?... The reason for my call is to let you know about a special promotional offer where you get 10 nights of accommodation in 3 to 5 star hotels for just $109"

I made the most sales in my team... The only reason i left was that i later found out that this was a big fat scam and here i was selling it to old people in retirement villages over the phone.

anyways, my point is... you could take away everything i have, Yeah life can beat you down, what goes it comes around.... Its not how hard you hit the ground, its how fast you get back up!

Cheers,
kunal

It seems to me like most of us here are discussing how things really were, and talking about the reality versus how we feel inside.

At the age of 12 i was hiding in shelters as a war refugee. At the age of 14 I was in a foster family in a foreign country where I couldn't understand anybody. At the age of 17 I was in yet another country trying to figure out how many cans of sardines I need each day to be able to live on my own.

If there is one thing I learned from the boring self-help books at Borders and Barnes And Nobles it's this:

It really makes no difference what's right and what's wrong, the only thing that matters is whether something's working out for you or not. Is it ok that some of us feel invincible? How far is it from the reality? Is it ok that some of us are just humble in our success? It doesnt matter, because different things work out for different people.

The "kid" feels invincible. It seems like it's working out for him. It wouldn't be working out for me, because I always perform better as an underdog. But i'm not right or closer to some "reality" than he is. And even if I was, it wouldnt make any difference. It's just not something that's working out for him.

I know someone could easily pull out a quote from this "It really makes no difference what's right and what's wrong, the only thing that matters is whether something's working out for you or not" and try to crucify me. They would probably list examples of bank robbers and rapists who don't care if something is right or wrong as long as it's working out for them. That however, would depend on what your definition of "working out for you" is, but that's a whole another issue...