My Content Suck,Right?...Kindly Give Your Opinion By Pin Pointing The Errors

by jideofor

Posted: 13 years ago 14 replies

INTERNET MARKETING

Hello house,
I am little happy today because despite the set back that prevented me from not setting up my site ( I got scammed Lol

) My site, a blog , is live right now. I have been doing some customization on the blog but I just want to get your view on the content of my site. I still feel it is crappy. I have made only one post.

You can view it at Flower Delivery Same Day and then tell me what you think about the content.

Honest comments will be highly appreciated. Thank you!

#content #errors #give #opinion #pin #pointing #rightkindly

The Simpleton 13 years ago

Well the solitary article on the site isn't that bad, but it isn't too good either. It certainly needs to be written in a much better way. If you are not sure about your own content, try getting someone else to write it for you. Since you are trying to sell something (flowers) through your content, it needs to be written strongly and it such a way that it captures the readers' attention. I wouldn't say the content sucks entirely, but it's not too great either. You definitely need to improve it further. Sorry if that sounded rude, but you said you wanted honest comments
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Kecia 13 years ago

I did notice quite a few grammar mistakes. It also seems more informative rather than captivating, and there isn't a stron call to action. This is from my observations.
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jideofor 13 years ago

Thank you so much for your time... I will try to fix them. Actually, I can not afford to outsource any project at the moment because I am just starting out and that means, I will take a look and fix the problem myself. There is always room for improvement.

I will do more research on writing product review
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Tom Byrde 13 years ago

Get yourself a decent header graphic and background.

That will make a huge difference.
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- 1 reply
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- Derek_Thomas 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Tom Byrde
  
  Get yourself a decent header graphic and background.
  
  That will make a huge difference.
  
  I was thinking along the same lines.
  
  Perhaps something "flowery".
  
  Derek
  
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Jayshankar Dangre 13 years ago

Your site needs to be much more informative. Its ok though. But it could have been like, if you had to build a single post website, then you should have tried for collecting leads for a CPA on a single squeeze page (posted as a single post on your blog). That way you would have got your own leads and built your own list, as the gurus say 'The Money is in the List'. It's just an opinion though.
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jideofor

13 years ago

Thank you all for your insightful comments. Can someone tell me how I could easily write a good product review for this niche? I need one that will convert and what words can I use to achieve this?

Thanks
1 reply

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Zabrina

13 years ago

Do you need flower delivery same day? Would you like to get your flowers from a trusted and tested shop with years of service delivery to happy customers? Would you like a discount for shopping at a place and saving money as well? How about a guaranteed satisfaction and getting the exact flowers that you want and saving time as well? If yes, here is your chance to get a fast flower delivery on same day from the pioneers of online shopping—Amazon.

This comes off like a sales pitch. There are a few grammatical mistakes, and it's okay overall, but it immediately puts the shopper on guard for a sales offer.

If you want to sell someone on a bread maker, you don't ask them if they want a bread maker. You ask them if they want freshly baked bread.

If you want to sell someone on on a vacation, you don't ask them if they want a vacation. You ask them if they want to be relaxing on a hot beach with clear blue skies and waters, curling their toes in the sand and sipping a cocktail.

If you want to sell someone on flower delivery, you don't ask them if they want flowers. You ask them if they want the woman in their life to love them.

Who the heck is going to say "no" to those things?

Now, the soft-selling approach may not work for all niches, but I've found all of my writing customers are very happy with it. Customers don't want to be sold to -- they want their problems to be fixed.

If flower delivery doesn't solve an urgent problem, you need to make it do so. The intro paragraph introduces a problem, not a solution.

There are different reasons for needing flowers; some are to show sympathy, gift for mother’s day, to mark the saint valentine day and much more.

This should follow the intro paragraph pretty nicely. It needs to be rewritten to flow better, though.

"There are many reasons you might need flowers fast. Whether you need to show sympathy, make sure you give something to your loved one for Valentine's Day, or send them to an important woman in your life on Mother's Day, flowers are the perfect gift for any occasion."

But having the flower delivered on the same day is some thing that needs a good review in order to guide one and help make the best choice of flower that will suit whatever purpose it is needed for.

Okay, we've got the intro paragraph where we make them go, "Oh my god, I need something for [holiday]!" and then, "Flowers would work!" and the next paragraph, where they go, "Okay, they definitely work for this occasion." This paragraph is where you introduce a little problem so they don't just close the web page and call the florist.

"The problem is, if you need flower delivery same day, you can't always trust your local florist to do it. There are many services online and offline that deliver flowers, but some have two- or three-day waiting times, and others say they will deliver the same day and simply don't. If you're like most people, you also need help choosing which type of flower will best suit the occasion."

There are both local and international flower delivery services as well as online flower delivery for same day purpose which can serve as medium for purchasing flower but knowing which one to use is a better guide.

Cut it.

Amongst this mediums, the local florist shop seem to be the quickest but when you don’t have the needed time to do the shopping, there are vast amount of online florist which make ordering for your flower a breeze. Though not all can deliver you on the same day but quite a good number of them do or next day. The online flower delivery could also serve those who are searching to buy flower from the international market. I believe such people would only do this if and only if the kind of flower that they need can not be found locally hence, using the internet seems a better choice.

Introduce a reason why local florist shops are good (in-person interaction?), but then two or three reasons they won't work for same-day delivery. Then introduce online delivery as the solution for all of the problems you've given them so far. Don't over-hype it, though. Naming one or two drawbacks is a good idea.

A lot of your paragraph is incomprehensible. The person reading this only has a few minutes to order online so that the flowers will arrive on the same day -- otherwise they'd be driving to their local store already. It needs to be clear.

I have often had problems with shopping for my flowers and having them delivered later than I expected. This often means that I would have to wait longer than needed.
It was not long afterwards that I came across a nice place to shop for my flowers and that is…Amazon.
You should be thinking of shopping only at Amazon for your flowers.

Okay, the "I" tense isn't always a good idea, but it can work. If you're introducing it as a problem you've encountered and fixed, you gotta follow through, and that last sentence is not a good one. You're basically scolding the reader, or so it comes across.

"When ordering from local florist shops and small-time online florist delivery services, I have often had problems finding the right flowers and getting them delivered on time. Nobody wants to face his girlfriend and say, "But I promise I ordered flowers!" when they don't arrive on time... trust me on that one!

Luckily, I came across a much better place to shop for flowers with reliable delivery. Ever since then, I have only shopped at Amazon for flowers, and I've gotten great results."

Why Amazon?
Amazon have been in existence since the beginning of online shopping services and as the pioneers of online shopping, they have held a high reputation that customers have come to trust them over the years as a result of quality service delivery. This makes Amazon the best place to shop for your flowers because they never fail to make their customers happy and satisfied.

Click Here To Amazon Now And Get 20% Discount Only Through This Link

This bit is okay. Still sounds salesy, though... If you're gonna use "I", stick with it.

"Why I Love Amazon
I hate shopping online when I don't feel like I can trust the vendor. Amazon has been around since online shopping began, so people trust them to provide fast delivery and great service. I have found Amazon to be the best place to find the elusive combination of a low price, fast delivery, and great quality products.

If you're running out of time to make that special someone happy, order on Amazon as soon as possible so you can get those flowers delivered today.

Click here to visit Amazon now and get an exclusive 20% discount."

I have to stop here, unfortunately, but hopefully my advice up to this point has been helpful.

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travlinguy 13 years ago

It's already been mentioned. You need a nice header. You also need to change the entire theme of the page and gear it to flowers. What you have now might be okay if you were selling tools or electronics. People looking for flowers expect soft colors with nice graphics. Doing that would make a big difference.

You also need a real headline. Same day flowers is nothing special, everyone selling flowers has same day delivery. I'd drop that and go with a headline carrying an emotional appeal. Something like:

Isn't It Time You Showed That Special Someone You Really Care?
Why Not Do It With Flowers?

That's probably a bit worn out but it's closer than what you have up there. You could also have a related subheadline that helps grab attention.

Others have already commented on grammar, spelling and the rest but it's not likely many visitors are going to get into that because you haven't given them much of a reason to with the generic theme and headline. Good luck.
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ginak59 13 years ago

Since there's lots of comments on the text, being a visual designer, I'm going to comment on the design. Think about flowers, they're happy and bright! The colors on your site are so dark in value. The grey background draws all of the intesity out of the red and leaves it looking dull and dark. Colors are all relative; what's next to a color is more important than the color itself.

I'd use white for that background instead of grey, lighten up the entire design. Get rid of those dark gradients in the red header. Use less text, about 25% less and up the font size.

Hope this is helpful
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kindsvater 13 years ago

The eye starts to read ...

"Do you need flower delivery same day?"

A glance at the rest of the page reveals of mass of text.

Then the brain tells hand to click the back button.

Without even getting to the rest of the content, this appears to be a spammy, poorly written page targeting a search engine phrase.

Instead, why don't you write something compelling written for someone looking for immediate flower deliveries - and just forget Google even exists.

Tip: pretend your mother is sitting on your couch and interested in getting flowers to a sick friend fast. Do you stand there and say "Do you need flower delivery same day?"

Of course not. That's gibberish. Start writing informative information that you would want to read.
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talfighel 13 years ago

I personally think that you did a good job.

You post an Adsense ad on your site which is good because it will earn you some money each day as long as your blog gets a good amount of free traffic each day.

The layout looks good.

As soon as I opened your site, I liked it from the start.

Well done.
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Rose Anderson 13 years ago

Zabrina and Travlinguy gave you some great suggestions regarding content.

You don't want the main thought of the viewer to be "I can get flowers delivered today".

The thought needs to be "I can make my girlfriend really happy if I send her flower today" or "my mom would be thrilled if I thought to send her flower".

Your giving them the opportunity to make someone's day (and that someone will then think fondly of them).
rose
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- Michael Shook 13 years ago
  
  If you are going for a long term site, you are going to have to rewrite your content.
  
  For Mother's Day, there are a couple of things you can do right now that will help your site.
  
  Change the colors. The default colors in Flex are really dark. Take off the shadow and the navigation bar and the RSS button.
  
  Change the header text for the sidebar to something like "Click the video to get your flowers now"
  
  Takff the date stamp from your post and the leave comment link.
  
  Increase your text size to 13 and use verdana.
  
  Change your link text to blue.
  
  After Mother's Day, change your content around to make it more buyer friendly instead of informative.
  
  That should help lighten your site up a bit.
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  
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My Content Suck,Right?...Kindly Give Your Opinion By Pin Pointing The Errors

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