Somebody Just Asked Me If I Want To Succeed As An Internet Marketer? What Do I Tell Them?

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim

I just got an email from somebody with the subject line...

"Do you want to succeed as an Internet marketer?"

I opened it up and read it and I had to admit, I got a good chuckle out of
things like "Aren't you tired of being a failure?"

So what DO I tell this guy?

Tell him this:

"No thank you. I love being a failure. It allows me to live my life without people having any high expectations of me.

"I'm quite comfortable in my trailer. In fact, the government cheques are going to pay for a new sofa soon, so I can use the old one on my lawn. Life is pretty good.

"Thank you for asking,

"Steven"

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4 replies

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Kevin Riley, long-time Warrior living in Osaka, Japan

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Victoria Gates

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

Tell him this:

"No thank you. I love being a failure. It allows me to live my life without people having any high expectations of me.

"I'm quite comfortable in my trailer. In fact, the government cheques are going to pay for a new sofa soon, so I can use the old one on my lawn. Life is pretty good.

"Thank you for asking,

"Steven"

You nearly made fall out of my chair. I love that reply!

Thanks

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Victoria Gates - Digital Marketing Specialist

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Steven Wagenheim

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

Tell him this:

"No thank you. I love being a failure. It allows me to live my life without people having any high expectations of me.

"I'm quite comfortable in my trailer. In fact, the government cheques are going to pay for a new sofa soon, so I can use the old one on my lawn. Life is pretty good.

"Thank you for asking,

"Steven"

Kevin, you should have been a comedy writer.

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Buildingfutures

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

Tell him this:

"No thank you. I love being a failure. It allows me to live my life without people having any high expectations of me.

"I'm quite comfortable in my trailer. In fact, the government cheques are going to pay for a new sofa soon, so I can use the old one on my lawn. Life is pretty good.

"Thank you for asking,

"Steven"

Dear god, you're my new friend. Haha!

That was great.

And as for what to tell the poor bugger in the email, in my opinion, sound as desperate as possible and then do a split personality email when he replies back.

Confuse him!

Like a telemarketer.

I confuse those guys all the time!

Thanks

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Ben_Curtis

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

Tell him this:

"No thank you. I love being a failure. It allows me to live my life without people having any high expectations of me.

"I'm quite comfortable in my trailer. In fact, the government cheques are going to pay for a new sofa soon, so I can use the old one on my lawn. Life is pretty good.

"Thank you for asking,

"Steven"

You forgot one more thing: "And life is gonna be even better when the new president pays my mortgage next month."

Thanks
1 reply

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Kim Standerline 15 years ago

What about when he pays for your new car as well

Originally Posted by Ben_Curtis

You forgot one more thing: "And life is gonna be even better when the new president pays my mortgage next month."
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Bev Clement

15 years ago

Does the person want a reply or is their email noreply?

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Steven Wagenheim 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Bev Clement

Does the person want a reply or is their email noreply?

Bev, there is a real return address, I think anyway.

I don't know what to do with this person. If I had time to kill, maybe I'd
play around with them, but I don't really get into the "bust on the marketers"
thing like some of these folks here have done.

The one thread, I don't remember who started it, was hysterical, the
runaround they gave this person.
- Thanks
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NinjaReports

15 years ago

He's obviously just assuming that the majority of people on his list are new to internet marketing or don't make much, because honestly the majority of people online don't make full time incomes. Maybe only about 5% of his list make a decent income online in which case that email would be pretty effective overall.

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ronnie11

15 years ago

Very true point Steven, wrong assumptions is bad for any business..

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Steve Faber

15 years ago

Dear sir / madame,
Thank you very much for the inquiry as to my desire for Internet marketing success. However, from the email subject line it appears that you have made an error common to relatively new marketers. This could easily cost you thousands in sales and news letter signups during the course of your campaign. To keep you from experiencing this possibility first hand, I will be be willing to offer you the opportunity to enroll in my course "E-mail Marketing Success, Easier Than You Ever Dreamed Possible"

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trinivet

15 years ago

[DELETED]

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Bryan Zimmerman 15 years ago

Oh hell have some fun with them! They might even get a kick out of it.
Send a return email that your out of you house for a couple days spending some time on your yacht.

When they are ready to make some real money let them know they can contact you.
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Steven Wagenheim

15 years ago

Originally Posted by trinivet

I say take it easy on the guy/gal. After all, we've all been there and rather be scoffed at, we would have appreciated some good, honest help.

What I'm saying is we're all here to help each other, in fact guide him to this forum, he'll learn a lot, so no one will really have to baby sit him.

At least he tried rather than not try, so he's doing something. A lot of people never get to that point. It's the hardest step to make, the first.

That's actually a good idea. I might just do that. Maybe he will learn a thing
or two.

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P_Cerrito

15 years ago

"The Wagon" that was so darn funny. I'm on so many lists I lost count. I don't impulse buy anything anymore but every once in a blue moon someone comes up with something that saves me time or has copy I like, etc. Lately I've been getting emails like that too.

"Are you tired of being a failure?"

"This will get you motivated for success!"

"Why you're not making any money!"

Being on so many lists in different industries lets me see some well done copy and a lot of what not to do. haha

Phil

PS- when I get an email that assumes I don't know anything or I'm a loser- I go to the bottom and click "Unsubscribe".

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andyelite

15 years ago

As a matter of interest, do you have any idea how you got on his list in the first place? These days, someone has to be offering something pretty darn good to get my email address, so I'm just wondering how he got hold of yours. Hopefully he didn't just harvest it.

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1 reply

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Li Weng

15 years ago

Originally Posted by andyelite

As a matter of interest, do you have any idea how you got on his list in the first place? These days, someone has to be offering something pretty darn good to get my email address, so I'm just wondering how he got hold of yours. Hopefully he didn't just harvest it.

I'm wondering that too.

What information did he offer for Steve
to sign up to his list in the first place?

It must have been something like

"Discover How To Be A Rock Star Overnight"

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borilbogoev

15 years ago

"No thank you. I love being a failure. It allows me to live my life without people having any high expectations of me.

"I'm quite comfortable in my trailer. In fact, the government cheques are going to pay for a new sofa soon, so I can use the old one on my lawn. Life is pretty good.

"Thank you for asking,

"Steven"

I agree with Kevin - if you receive a stupid question, it deserves a stupid answer. Here are more suggestions:

"I hate the money. Poverty rocks!"

"Why do I need a success in internet marketing, since I have a very nice car to live in?!"

"If you promise me to make more than $1 000 000 000 till tomorrw, I am all yours! Otherwise, go look for other morons..."

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Paul Myers

15 years ago

Steven,

I'd look at the question and conclude that the list is targeted at a group to which I don't belong. I'd probably just save him and me the trouble and unsubscribe.

Not because I was offended, mind you. Just because it's clear he's dishing out information that's below what I'm looking for on the experience scale.

If I were going to send an email like that, I'd probably use a subject line like, "Are you happy with your success online?" I'd put something at the beginning of the email that said, "If you're one of the experienced folks in the group and happy with the level of success you're achieving online, please delete this email. This one is for the folks who aren't quite there yet."

Bang. Same message, entirely different result. And, going based on past experience, half of my sales from that email would be to people that I KNOW are already doing well.

It's not that hard to avoid offending people accidentally. It's always worth the effort.

Paul

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ExRat

15 years ago

Hi Paul,

If I were going to send an email like that, I'd probably use a subject line like, "Are you happy with your success online?" I'd put something at the beginning of the email that said, "If you're one of the experienced folks in the group and happy with the level of success you're achieving online, please delete this email. This one is for the folks who aren't quite there yet."

and

It's not that hard to avoid offending people accidentally. It's always worth the effort.

Anyone can see the validity of this by examining Paul's newsletter.

Hi borilbogoev,

if you receive a stupid question, it deserves a stupid answer

Apologies for approaching this all logical, but I see no reason for that saying to have been created, or to have lasted the test of time - unless of course, one is aiming to provide some cleverly constructed entertainment with their retort.

You probably didn't mean actually sending the stupid answer to the person (?) but in my opinion, that's the key to professional business communication - no matter how stupid the question, never let that influence the quality of the answer.

Unless you're goofing off in a forum and people are likely to know it.

Thanks

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Roger Davis

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Somebody Just Asked Me If I Want To Succeed As An Internet Marketer? What Do I Tell Them?

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