12 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
12 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Rate my Landing Page

by jtierney
10 replies
Dear fellow Warriors,

I launched my muse March 1st.

I've only sold four copies since then.

So I must be doing something wrong.

You can find it at [www]

marriage green card kit .com

[sorry this forum won't allow to post links yet]

 Any advice or feedback is welcome.

I've spent much more on adwords than I made in sales.
My click through rate on adwords is pretty good 2.5%. So I thought I might need to change things on the page to increase conversions.

I'm planning a sales video for the top of the page.
Let me know if think that will be helpful or a waste of time.

Do you think I would benefit if I offered a lower cost version of the kit in addition to the premium addition?

Do you think I would do better if I made the page more personal, or is better to pose as a big organization i.e. "Five years ago I was just like you. My wife and I had just gotten married in Japan and we need to get a green card so we..." (This is a true story) or is better to pose as a big organization.

Let me know what you think,
Thanks a lot,
J
#conversion #landing #landing page #page #rate
  • Profile picture of the author MCD
    I would recommend creating an actual squeeze page, rather then just having a pop up. You would have a greater chance of converting them into sales if you were able to email market them.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3856480].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Natausha
    I think that page could definitely use a video, and I would make it more personal with your story briefly explained and then into what the kit offers and why it will make their lives 10000 times easier. I don't know what the kit entails but I see no reason for 2 versions. Maybe you should also do a little more market research to make sure that with your PPC/PPV campaigns you are getting your ads in front of the right people.

    EDIT: I completely agree with the idea of a squeeze page! If you can capture their email and then send them great info daily for the first 2 weeks I bet you will have far more success. They may have clicked off your page because they needed to go or some other reason, but if you can remind them that they were there, and there for a reason, and that you can help make their lives easier, you'll build up some trust and make more sales. Also you never know when you will come across another product that would help people on that same email list.
    Signature
    Ladies! Join us in the ladies only IM Mastermind Group!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3856507].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author scrofford
    Originally Posted by jtierney View Post

    Dear fellow Warriors,

    I launched my muse March 1st.

    I've only sold four copies since then.

    So I must be doing something wrong.

    You can find it at [www]

    marriage green card kit .com

    [sorry this forum won't allow to post links yet]

     Any advice or feedback is welcome.

    I've spent much more on adwords than I made in sales.
    My click through rate on adwords is pretty good 2.5%. So I thought I might need to change things on the page to increase conversions.

    I'm planning a sales video for the top of the page.
    Let me know if think that will be helpful or a waste of time.

    Do you think I would benefit if I offered a lower cost version of the kit in addition to the premium addition?

    Do you think I would do better if I made the page more personal, or is better to pose as a big organization i.e. "Five years ago I was just like you. My wife and I had just gotten married in Japan and we need to get a green card so we..." (This is a true story) or is better to pose as a big organization.

    Let me know what you think,
    Thanks a lot,
    J
    I think you need to hire a professional copywriter who knows how to write good headlines and copy. That's your problem. Your headline is very boring and it doesn't even want to make me read on.

    The page shouldn't have a bunch of other stuff on there that distracts people either. Nobody really cares about the pictures you have on your site. You show a lot of features but no real benefits. All of this is why you aren't making many sales and what I've told you is just for starters.

    Again, you really should hire someone who is a pro or learn how to write good sales copy. Either way until you do it's going to cost you in sales.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3856557].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author jtierney
      I love this forum.

      Such priceless advice...

      It seems like a squeeze page coupled
      with a more personal and compelling narrative (maybe in both video and text form...what do you think?)
      is the consensus solution.

      Very helpful info.

      Maybe the photos of lawyers and married couples on the page would conflict with my new personal narrative... should I just get rid of those photo's and, perhaps post pictures of me and my wife?
      Stop posing as a professional agency and more an experienced fellow traveler?

      ps I did hire a professional copywriter to write the copy for the landing page...
      Another potential problem with the copy is I think there is too much emphasis on maligning the lawyers (the lawyers are the enemy which this kit will save you from). Maybe it would be better to make "overwhelm" and "the drudgery" of filing for a green card the enemy instead of the lawyers... thoughts?

      Thanks again everyone
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3860012].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author WillR
    I agree with what others have said. You should test sending the traffic to a squeeze page where you give away the free application checklist.

    I also agree that your sales message would be a lot stronger if it were a story that people could relate to. People love reading stories especially if it matches their current situation. Tell people the struggle you had and how you were able to overcome it and why you are now helping other people.

    Become one of them, show you care, and they will listen.
    Signature

    .


    .

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3856640].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Mike Hill
    The Marriage Green Card is just a bi-product of something they really want. Inject the feeling of what your ideal prospect wants in your headline, then reveal a story about the hardships of being denied a green card (a true story of course) but what I'm getting at is the more real it is, the more feeling you inject into it the more success you will have.

    People in that situation are looking for someone who has already blazed the trail of successfully getting a green card even under near impossible circumstances. Leave the reader feeling like "well if this person can get a green card despite all their problems I'm sure I can get one with ease because my problems aren't near as bad as theirs".

    Relate to your readers and make them feel like you understand exactly what they are going through, their feelings of despair, frustration, all the red tape B.S., etc...

    Don't be the guy who offers an easy way to get a green card, be the guy just like them who actually did it despite all the hurdles and is now sharing all the secrets to bypass frustration and denial.

    Become their hero! Become their ticket to a better life!

    PS. People don't want to know that you rigorously researched... they want to know you actually lived it, overcame all the hurdles and were successful at getting that illusive green card.

    PPS. On your sales page you say in your sub-headline "The Process is simple" but to them it's not simple. You need to connect with them not alienate them right off the top. And be more specific than "put yourself on the fast-track to getting a green card... much sooner than you think". Be specific, how long exactly... Think how you can relate to your prospect so they get the feeling of "Hey I've experienced that too"
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3856698].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Coach Louisa
    Hi,

    If you give a reason for why you are giving a discount just for today - the scarcity may work better.

    I like the pop up that collect the email list but you can also include a clear headline at the top of the pop up to make it more compelling for your visitors to opt in

    Louisa Chan
    Signature

    Visit new website at http://www.LouisaChan.com
    and join me for Free Tutorial at YouTube Louisa Chan

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3856756].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author WillR
      Originally Posted by Coach Louisa View Post

      Hi,

      If you give a reason for why you are giving a discount just for today - the scarcity may work better.

      I like the pop up that collect the email list but you can also include a clear headline at the top of the pop up to make it more compelling for your visitors to opt in

      Louisa Chan
      I don't like the popup because it shows itself about 20-30 seconds after someone has hit the page. So immediately you are presenting them with a free offer and a reason to leave your page rather than continue on reading your sales message.

      This is not a good idea. If you want people to read your copy then don't give them any distractions or any reason to leave your page. If you want to give away the free report then turn it into a squeeze page and just do that. If instead you want to attempt selling the product then just do that and remove the popup.

      If you want to do both then use an exit pop instead so they are only presented with the free offer IF they are about to exit the page. Much smarter way of doing things.
      Signature

      .


      .

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3856834].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author The Content King
        I agree. I think a squeeze page would be much better. Build a highly targeted list and then you can sell your product to that list later on. The list is always the way to go. Hope that helps.
        Signature
        Check out our Acne WSO | Our Anxiety WSO | And Our Muscle Building WSO
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3857108].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author snovakor
    Squeeze page and Optim-Form on there is the right thing. You'll see results after this.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3857807].message }}

Trending Topics