Some Send Me Christmas Cards, Others Call Me Obnoxious...a Day in The Life of an Email Marketer

7 replies
After spending a considerable amount of time, money
and energy into list building and email marketing, one
thing has become more apparent in my internet marketing
ventures...

...if you don't have thick skin and a positive mindset, you
can fall off the tightrope pretty quickly in this game.

I think this is even more the case when you are dealing
within a market where there is any amount of desperation,
passion and emotion (which many of us are).

As I build my list daily the dynamics change more and more,
and it becomes less about simple maths and more about
being able to remain focused, driven and thick skinned
when dealing with "Potential" customers and lifelong
subscribers, but here's the point I am eluding to:

If you're going to build lifelong relationships with
people that are typically on your list (or follow you
in some way other than through email) then you sure as
hell need to consider something...

...you are far better off showing your TRUE self and
having your own opinion, personality and beliefs,
as opposed to trying the be the "fence sitter" who
is all things to all people and wouldn't dream of saying
what's really on their mind in fear of someone opposing
their opinions (and heaven forbid, un-subscribing from
your list)

Mr/Mrs Nice will win some people over, but ultimately
you will do far better to blaze a trail and take with you
the people who stand by your opinions and dreams,
whilst leaving those who oppose you far behind in your
wake.

It is far better to be respected by your enemies than
ignored by your customers. Find a balance, but don't
sit on the fence...because you'll always piss someone
off inadvertently no matter what...and it makes not
one ounce of difference whether you are the heir to
the throne or you're doing it all to save a starving
child in a 3rd world country...

...people will object by their very nature, deal with
it and move on.

But what we find is that every single objection is
a mini blow to our own egos...we deep down think to
ourselves "but I'm just trying to help, I wasn't rude and
I delivered on my promise..."

Forget about it. The law of averages will dictate that
1,2,3,4,5% or more of the people you come into contact
with you will not like you, your product or anything else
about you.

That is why a thick skin, clear focus and a deeply
embedded drive is the only way to shrug off the people
who have no reason to remain associated with you as
prospects/customers/partners and save your energy for
the other 95% who hang on your every word.

In less than 3 weeks of building one list, I have had
people scorn at me, tell me I am a nuisance for sending
emails...I have had up to 5% un-subscribe after 1,2,3 or
more emails spaced over a week that don't push a single
product and simply help with 100% free advice...

...I've even had one guy call me obnoxious in my manner
and the way I write.

But once I remove that 5% from wasting precious server
space over at Aweber (and keeping my costs down as a
result), I am able to focus my positive time, energy and
efforts on the 95% who have:

# Thanked me from the bottom of their hearts
# Told their friends about me
# Shared their personal life stories with me
# Given me unsolicited testimonials (for a FREE report)
# Told me that I am a wonderful person
# Told me they will do anything for me
# Shown an interest in MY personal life
# ...and the most touching yet, which happened just
today, was a young lady who sent me a Christmas card
and it said "To Nick (the guy who helped me with my problems...)
have a wonderful Christmas and New Year..."

You know what's really exciting about this? ALL of this is from
simply sending out a FREE REPORT.

Now THAT is what I got into this game for, and I've not even
made my money back from this list yet...

...but do you think I will? I dunno, perhaps...;-)
#call #cards #christmas #day #email #life #marketer #obnoxiousa #send
  • Profile picture of the author sylviad
    Hi Nick,

    I agree with you to a point. You can't fake who you really are without people spotting it. Especially if you take the "sweet innocent me" or "look at me, I'm agreeable" approach.

    Most of us have met people who are always sugar and spice, but do we really believe that's who they are?

    It's a fact, people don't always want to hear the truth. They would rather you "play nice" all the time, regardless of the circumstances or your mood that day. They don't want argument/debate, they expect you to just do the right thing without question.

    Being outspoken can create enemies, but as you say, you have to simply accept it and move on. If you are happy in your style, if you feel comfortable with who you are, that's all that matters.

    There are times when it pays to hold back, though, rather than being obnoxious and overbearing just because that's who you are. Tempering your personality has its advantages, especially in IM. Tempering is not the same as faking.

    Regardless of your approach, there will always be people who just don't take to you. That's part of human nature. You do have to be tough when you deal with such a diverse group as we do because regardless of how you respond, you can't please them all.

    Sylvia
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    • Profile picture of the author Nick Brighton
      I agree, and it's worth pointing out that I am not in the slightest bit obnoxious to my list, but that's the point I guess...people will perceive you differently no matter what.

      I should also add...

      If you stand by your own opinions and your own ways, your followers will become fans and your haters will hate you more.

      Either way, if you've reached a stage of people passionately interacting with you, as opposed to simply "reading" your emails (which ends up as "ignoring" your emails), along with people being against you, then you know you're doing something right.

      Originally Posted by sylviad View Post

      Hi Nick,

      I agree with you to a point. You can't fake who you really are without people spotting it. Especially if you take the "sweet innocent me" or "look at me, I'm agreeable" approach.

      Most of us have met people who are always sugar and spice, but do we really believe that's who they are?

      It's a fact, people don't always want to hear the truth. They would rather you "play nice" all the time, regardless of the circumstances or your mood that day. They don't want argument/debate, they expect you to just do the right thing without question.

      Being outspoken can create enemies, but as you say, you have to simply accept it and move on. If you are happy in your style, if you feel comfortable with who you are, that's all that matters.

      There are times when it pays to hold back, though, rather than being obnoxious and overbearing just because that's who you are. Tempering your personality has its advantages, especially in IM. Tempering is not the same as faking.

      Regardless of your approach, there will always be people who just don't take to you. That's part of human nature. You do have to be tough when you deal with such a diverse group as we do because regardless of how you respond, you can't please them all.

      Sylvia
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  • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
    Originally Posted by Nick Brighton View Post

    It is far better to be respected by your enemies than ignored by your customers.
    Words to live by...that's a great line, Nick.

    KJ
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    • Profile picture of the author Nick Brighton
      Originally Posted by Killer Joe View Post

      Words to live by...that's a great line, Nick.

      KJ
      Thanks Joe, I think that I've just inspired myself into
      more action...
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  • Profile picture of the author TheNightOwl
    I agree with KJ.

    This post sounds like you were just riffing with yourself, Nick, but it's surely a nice tune.

    I'm completely fascinated by the behaviour of humans and your post touches on a number of perplexing facets. I think I'll re-read it.

    Nice one, mate.

    Have a nice holiday period,
    TheNightOwl
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    • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
      Nick,

      I thought of this article when I read Steven's post. After seeing yours, I couldn't resist. It's from February of 1999, and has been slightly edited for length.

      Consider this an "Amen, Brother!"

      ---- 8< ----

      All Things to All People

      One of the biggest mistakes I see some people make online is trying to be all things to all people. They make constant adjustments in their approach. This isn't a bad thing in itself, as adjustments are often warranted.

      However, when making adjustments you should know why you're doing it. And the "why" has to be YOUR "why", not someone else's.

      ....

      You'll often see posts on various discussion boards and lists where people complain bitterly about the way someone handles a forum. Most of the time, the complaints are based purely on the posters' preferences. Yet they are worded in such a way as to make it look like an ethical issue. Or a personal one.

      Many listowners fall for this tactic. They try to be "impartial" or to avoid "looking like a censor". They work hard at keeping their opinions out of the discussions. They're more concerned with losing members than they are with providing a useful forum.

      How silly can you get???

      ....

      To all those people who are pushing the idea of a "perfect listowner" or "perfect moderator, I say this:

      You might as well ask for the perfect Unicorn.

      You can shout to the heavens what you'd like to see in one, but in the end they just don't exist.

      Everyone wants different things from a list. They'll go where they get what they want. The "perfect" listowner for any given person is the one that enables them to get what they want.

      Personally, I like intelligent and practical discussion, and am quite prepared to enforce civility to maintain it. This makes me the perfect listowner for some people, and a tyrannical despot and censor to others. Probably something in the middle to most.

      Group A tells their friends to sign up, and Group B tells people to stay away. Group C decides which end of things they want more, and makes their decision based on the answer.

      By doing things as you want them done, you create a self-filtering system. You attract the people who want to do things the same way, and you chase off the walking hassles. Isn't that a LOT better than trying to please everyone?

      Try to please everyone and you get ulcers. And end up pleasing no one but the lowest common denominator.

      Who wants a list full of Homer Simpsons?

      Same with any list. In the long run, a listowner with clear standards attracts the kinds of people who want what they deliver, and repels people who want something at odds with that.

      Hmm. Maybe, given enough time, we're *all* perfect listowners?

      As long as we don't try to be all things to all people ...

      ....

      This same trend is often reflected in the products or services people offer online. The idea that they can "Reach 100 million people!" seems too good to pass up.

      Forget it.

      If you rule out 99.5% of those 100 million people, and find .5% of them that are actually interested in what you offer, you have a prospect base of 500,000 people. Slightly larger than the Buffalo/Niagara Falls area.

      Lots of people make very good lives for themselves in population centers that size, where only a small percentage of those folks are prospects. They don't try to market to the whole world.

      Who'd want to?

      Who *could*?

      ....

      Another example. One more clearly business oriented ...

      Someone I know received an email recently asking for advice. The sender had bought a fair number of what they thought would be in-demand domain names, and was looking for suggestions on the best way to sell them. At a substantial profit, of course.

      The person who received the email posted copies of it to a number of discussion boards, with the assertion that this was an unethical practice.

      Now, back when domain name registration was free and the government was funding the process, I could have seen that sort of claim. Honestly, I had a problem with it then.

      Now people have to take risks with their own money to do this sort of thing. They pay for the registration, and they hope they're smart enough to guess right.

      How is this unethical?

      I see it as something that will help to define the value of domain names over time, and that's a good thing for the online market. Lots of people frown on speculators, but they have an important place in the economy. Sure they make a lot of money when they guess right. But look at their track records and you'll see just how risky the business of speculation is. Especially in a new market!

      If the people involved in this sort of business were to try and please everyone, we'd all lose because of their timidity.

      ....

      Yet another example, this time in principle, rather than specific.

      Free information. Everyone says you have to give away information free. And to some extent, they're right. The problem occurs when you give away the farm.

      I read a thread on a discussion list recently which started with someone asking for information on ways to produce an electronic book for sale. One person responded with pointers to several sites where such books were being offered, primarily as examples.

      One person responded by saying that the sites mentioned were just sales pitches for how-to manuals.

      Well ... What's wrong with that?

      (Mind you, the post with the pointers wasn't made by anyone with a hidden interest in selling these materials.)

      The hint that the manuals in question were overpriced was strong. Information products aren't usually cheap. At least not good ones. People buy them because they can shave months or even years off the learning curve. That saving is what they're usually paying for. Not the actual knowledge, but what having it does for them.

      And yet this raised objections, on a business list, from an intelligent poster.

      Why?

      Because the idea of free information has been hammered to the point that some people can't stand to see anyone making a profit from selling info.

      If the developers of these products were to stop their work, how many of us would spend the time researching the most effective techniques and then just give the information away free?

      Would you?

      How many people would end up spending years reinventing the wheel?

      Another advantage to these products is that they tend to drop in price as they are rewritten and refined by later developers of similar information products. More people get the info, and it raises overall efficiency for greater numbers of people.

      In order to get the higher profits they're used to, the developers have to keep pushing the envelope, finding more and more effective techniques that aren't common knowledge. And the cycle continues.

      We all benefit, even those who don't buy them.

      That whole process could be stopped short if these people tried to please everyone.

      And people deny themselves the advantages of the information simply because someone else, long before they got online, said that "Information wants to be free."

      Where's the good sense in that??

      ....

      The best example I've ever seen on this comes from a book I read 20 years or so ago, by Robert Ringer. I'll get the specifics wrong, I expect, but the principle is the thing.

      Mr Ringer had a female friend in Calgary with beautiful brunette hair. She wanted to bleach it blonde. When he asked why, she claimed that men preferred blondes.

      Assume that she was right in 90% of cases, that there were 250,00 men (and a similar number of women) in Calgary, and that all the other brunettes in Calgary bleached their hair blonde. He asked her if she'd rather be one of 249,999 women with a "market" of 225,000 men, or one woman with a "market" of 25,000 men.

      THAT is a great example of the power of niche marketing!

      ....

      Almost everyone knows better than to fall for this sort of thing in the "real world". It amazes me to see otherwise sensible people falling into this trap online.

      The best way to make money for yourself is to find the thing you do best and do it your way. Then make sure that you're visible enough to attract the people who want what you're offering.

      Don't ignore the market entirely, of course. But don't try to please everyone.

      In some cases, you ARE the niche the market is looking for!


      Paul
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