Why I Unsubscribed From Your List -- An Open Letter
I've recently been going through my emails, ruthlessly slashing, slicing and dicing my subscriptions. Why? For many reasons. In fact, I sat down this morning and wrote the latest affiliate marketer an email. Unfortunately, the reply address was bogus because it bounced back. So hopefully this affiliate marketer (whom I subscribed to because of some pretty good posts on the forum) will read this.
It's long. But I just have to rant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Affiliate Marketer (name changed to keep the guilty from getting more subscribers...)
OK. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!! I'm unsubscribing from your list. I'm tired of the crap that you're sending me. I originally signed up because I found some of your posts on the Warrior Forum very enlightening however, now I realize that you're not engaging, enlightening or anything else...you're just another lazy affiliate marketer.
Have you ever had so much stuff shoved down your throat that you simply can't/won't take anymore?
Think of the car that pulls up alongside when you're at a stop light -- a car full of highly tattooed thugs with gangsta rap blaring at the decibel level of a fighter jet. Think of a dysfunctional relationship, a parent who nags you constantly, a boss who's always on your case...think of...AN AFFILIATE MARKETER!!!
Now, finally I've decided to take the plunge and actually answer back. This is me telling those thugs to pull up their pants and turn down what they think passes for music. This is me breaking up with the drama king who cheats on me. This is me telling my parents that I'm NOT going to marry a doctor because I'm in love with the artist. I'm firing my boss and I'm answering back to the affiliate marketer who constantly tries to shove the same old $37 crap down my throat.
::::WHEW!!!! I feel better already.:::::
OK....Round 2!!!!
Sure, there are some internet and affiliate marketers who make me feel like Sally Fields winning the Oscar..."You like me...you really really like me..." These few and far between lists I will stay subscribed to.
But for the rest, it's "Hasta la vesta baby" time.
Now, Mr/Ms Affiliate Marketer, if you're still with me and haven't headed off to seek easier prey, I'm going to tell you EXACTLY why I'm unsubscribing from your list. I don't know if you care, but I do. I care because I know that it can be difficult to get subscribers. Maybe my concern is misplaced and you have a gazillion subscribers, but if so, then just stop reading now and send out another email promoting some $37 program that your best friend, the hooker, stole from the developer geek whom she deflowered and it made her a million dollars.
1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME???? When you send me an email, put your name. Don't put "support" "account overview", "PayPal Notice" or anything else. Just your name. You'll build your reputation on your name NOT "account overview" or "NOTICE". Yes, I'll open the email and your click through rates will skyrocket, but I'll feel duped. And I hate feeling duped. If I decide to stay on your list, I'll create a filter with your name on it and all your emails will go to that folder. If you do it again and again, I'll leave you. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
2. STOP trying to sell me every time you send an email. You're stooping to the same level as a used car salesman. Truly, I look at most internet marketers as wearing polyester suits. Is it such a stretch for you to actually sit down and write something of value? Brand yourself as someone who people WANT to read. Someone who provides value to me instead of just wanting to suck my Paypal account.
3. Do you realize what you're doing? You're promoting all the same affiliate links as the other polyester suits. Just because something is popular to promote, doesn't mean that it's valuable. For instance, this one you just promoted, I've received at least 5 other emails for it. To me, you've just provided a worthless service so why should I stay on your email list?
4. And speaking of worthless services...how about giving a little bit of detail in your email about the product you're promoting? Tell me a little something about it so I don't have to do a blind click. I'm tired of blind clicks and guess what? I've stopped doing it.
5. Here's a wild concept...TRY the product you're promoting. Tell me something about it. Give me results instead of just promoting something you probably know nothing about. In fact, send me an email saying that this or that product is about to launch and that you've personally purchased it, you're reviewing it and you'll be sending out an email in X days with a product review. Then, every couple of days, you can give me an update and an accurate thumbs up or thumbs down on the product. Do you KNOW how much I'd love this? OH MY GOSH!!! AN HONEST AFFILIATE MARKETER!!!!! In fact, you can even build traffic by posting on your blog the results, sending me a link saying that you've posted something about it.
If someone sent me an email that said "XYZ product is launching tomorrow and you're probably going to receive 100 other emails promoting it. Consider holding off for a couple of days while I review it and see if it actually does what it says it will..." I'd be over the moon. You would have my loyalty for life. And, heaven forbid, if you actually told the truth about a product and said "this is just another BS product", you'd not only keep me on your list, but when you recommended a product, I'd gladly purchase it. Oh...and your reversals would go down too.
6. Don't promote anything that has a "STAY ON THE PAGE" pop-up when I try to click off. I clicked out for a reason. Honor that. Stop dropping the price (again like a used car salesman -- who's now desperate to make his end of the month quota). By trying to get me to stay on the page, it's like trying to walk out of the store and the salesman grabbing my arm in a last ditch attempt to get me to stay. How would YOU like that experience? By dropping the price of your product, you and the person you're promoting are indicating that the product simply isn't worth the price you originally asked.
7. STOP WITH THE UPSELLS!!!! When you're constantly trying to upsell me, I want to cancel my order. Why isn't it good enough for me to buy that one product? How about letting me choose between all the products before I purchase the one? Give me my choice upfront of the sedan, minivan, SUV or sports car. Don't let me walk out the door with the keys to the sedan then say "oh...by the way, your car didn't come with tires, so in order to drive it off the lot, you should really buy those tires." Dude...that's almost bait and switch.
8. Are you successful? Are you growing your list? WHO ARE YOU? I signed up on your list and now it's up to you to entertain me. That entertainment could come from a variety of things. A great email letting me know something funny and how it relates to internet marketing. A wonderful free product that you've found. A funny video you put together (or even found) that shows someone how to sell. Have you seen the Cravendale Cats With Thumbs commercial? Brilliant. As far as I know, you can't even get Cravendale milk in the U.S. and I still want to buy it. I've sent the link to at least 100 of my friends and relatives.
So what does that commercial tell you? Well I don't know about you, but it tells me that I can post it on my website or blog and send a link to my list to view it. Then put together a little lesson on why this video is so effective at selling, place a tell-a-friend on the page and you've just been able to create a viral link to your website.
Two words: Frank Kern. He's got to be one of the craziest people walking around (free) on the face of this earth. When I know he's put out another of his videos, I suck it up. I love it and I've purchased thousands of dollars worth of his products. Honestly, now I'm kind of tired of him because he's gone from quality to promoting some less than stellar products...which brings me to my next point...
9. Don't burn me out. There's only so much wave pounding that I can take until I get seasick and feel like barfing. I realize that some IMers believe that they should constantly hard sell their list and honestly, it's your choice, but I'm just saying...get out of that ugly polyester suit.
10. Send me the correct link the first time. At least once a day (sometimes more) I receive an email from someone who says something to the effect of "I'm so sorry. I sent you a link yesterday and it was the wrong link. Here's the correct one."
First of all, I'm not stupid. You didn't send me the wrong link. If you're sending a link to your list, make darn sure that it's the correct link. If it's honestly wrong, then it makes you appear careless. And if it's just a marketing ploy, you're lying to me (I don't subscribe to liars). It also proves to me that you simply don't have anything creative in your brain. So since you've personally sent me 1/2 dozen "wrong link" emails, you're too careless for me to stay with you.
11. Check your spelling. Check your grammar. If you don't care enough to know the difference between "your" and "you're", then I believe "YOU'RE" either uneducated or you don't care and I don't want to stay on "YOUR" list.
12. Last point. Don't keep using the same emails that all the other affiliates are using. I signed up for your list because I believed you might offer some value to me. It's been pretty much proven in article marketing that duplicate content doesn't work well and guess what???? You're duplicate contenting me right off your list. How about this? Instead of sending out that same old tired duplicate email, if you can't write, hire a copywriter. Or just talk to me like a friend. Tell me what you're promoting and why. How will it benefit me? Who's behind it? What is their track record? And, most of all, how this product helped you when you purchased it.
OK. I've given you enough feedback. Now I'm unsubscribing from your list because I've written this email to you before and unfortunately, the address you have in your reply bounced back to me...so while I was venting you obviously don't care that I'm gone.
Chazz
It's long. But I just have to rant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Affiliate Marketer (name changed to keep the guilty from getting more subscribers...)
OK. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!! I'm unsubscribing from your list. I'm tired of the crap that you're sending me. I originally signed up because I found some of your posts on the Warrior Forum very enlightening however, now I realize that you're not engaging, enlightening or anything else...you're just another lazy affiliate marketer.
Have you ever had so much stuff shoved down your throat that you simply can't/won't take anymore?
Think of the car that pulls up alongside when you're at a stop light -- a car full of highly tattooed thugs with gangsta rap blaring at the decibel level of a fighter jet. Think of a dysfunctional relationship, a parent who nags you constantly, a boss who's always on your case...think of...AN AFFILIATE MARKETER!!!
Now, finally I've decided to take the plunge and actually answer back. This is me telling those thugs to pull up their pants and turn down what they think passes for music. This is me breaking up with the drama king who cheats on me. This is me telling my parents that I'm NOT going to marry a doctor because I'm in love with the artist. I'm firing my boss and I'm answering back to the affiliate marketer who constantly tries to shove the same old $37 crap down my throat.
::::WHEW!!!! I feel better already.:::::
OK....Round 2!!!!
Sure, there are some internet and affiliate marketers who make me feel like Sally Fields winning the Oscar..."You like me...you really really like me..." These few and far between lists I will stay subscribed to.
But for the rest, it's "Hasta la vesta baby" time.
Now, Mr/Ms Affiliate Marketer, if you're still with me and haven't headed off to seek easier prey, I'm going to tell you EXACTLY why I'm unsubscribing from your list. I don't know if you care, but I do. I care because I know that it can be difficult to get subscribers. Maybe my concern is misplaced and you have a gazillion subscribers, but if so, then just stop reading now and send out another email promoting some $37 program that your best friend, the hooker, stole from the developer geek whom she deflowered and it made her a million dollars.
1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME???? When you send me an email, put your name. Don't put "support" "account overview", "PayPal Notice" or anything else. Just your name. You'll build your reputation on your name NOT "account overview" or "NOTICE". Yes, I'll open the email and your click through rates will skyrocket, but I'll feel duped. And I hate feeling duped. If I decide to stay on your list, I'll create a filter with your name on it and all your emails will go to that folder. If you do it again and again, I'll leave you. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
2. STOP trying to sell me every time you send an email. You're stooping to the same level as a used car salesman. Truly, I look at most internet marketers as wearing polyester suits. Is it such a stretch for you to actually sit down and write something of value? Brand yourself as someone who people WANT to read. Someone who provides value to me instead of just wanting to suck my Paypal account.
3. Do you realize what you're doing? You're promoting all the same affiliate links as the other polyester suits. Just because something is popular to promote, doesn't mean that it's valuable. For instance, this one you just promoted, I've received at least 5 other emails for it. To me, you've just provided a worthless service so why should I stay on your email list?
4. And speaking of worthless services...how about giving a little bit of detail in your email about the product you're promoting? Tell me a little something about it so I don't have to do a blind click. I'm tired of blind clicks and guess what? I've stopped doing it.
5. Here's a wild concept...TRY the product you're promoting. Tell me something about it. Give me results instead of just promoting something you probably know nothing about. In fact, send me an email saying that this or that product is about to launch and that you've personally purchased it, you're reviewing it and you'll be sending out an email in X days with a product review. Then, every couple of days, you can give me an update and an accurate thumbs up or thumbs down on the product. Do you KNOW how much I'd love this? OH MY GOSH!!! AN HONEST AFFILIATE MARKETER!!!!! In fact, you can even build traffic by posting on your blog the results, sending me a link saying that you've posted something about it.
If someone sent me an email that said "XYZ product is launching tomorrow and you're probably going to receive 100 other emails promoting it. Consider holding off for a couple of days while I review it and see if it actually does what it says it will..." I'd be over the moon. You would have my loyalty for life. And, heaven forbid, if you actually told the truth about a product and said "this is just another BS product", you'd not only keep me on your list, but when you recommended a product, I'd gladly purchase it. Oh...and your reversals would go down too.
6. Don't promote anything that has a "STAY ON THE PAGE" pop-up when I try to click off. I clicked out for a reason. Honor that. Stop dropping the price (again like a used car salesman -- who's now desperate to make his end of the month quota). By trying to get me to stay on the page, it's like trying to walk out of the store and the salesman grabbing my arm in a last ditch attempt to get me to stay. How would YOU like that experience? By dropping the price of your product, you and the person you're promoting are indicating that the product simply isn't worth the price you originally asked.
7. STOP WITH THE UPSELLS!!!! When you're constantly trying to upsell me, I want to cancel my order. Why isn't it good enough for me to buy that one product? How about letting me choose between all the products before I purchase the one? Give me my choice upfront of the sedan, minivan, SUV or sports car. Don't let me walk out the door with the keys to the sedan then say "oh...by the way, your car didn't come with tires, so in order to drive it off the lot, you should really buy those tires." Dude...that's almost bait and switch.
8. Are you successful? Are you growing your list? WHO ARE YOU? I signed up on your list and now it's up to you to entertain me. That entertainment could come from a variety of things. A great email letting me know something funny and how it relates to internet marketing. A wonderful free product that you've found. A funny video you put together (or even found) that shows someone how to sell. Have you seen the Cravendale Cats With Thumbs commercial? Brilliant. As far as I know, you can't even get Cravendale milk in the U.S. and I still want to buy it. I've sent the link to at least 100 of my friends and relatives.
So what does that commercial tell you? Well I don't know about you, but it tells me that I can post it on my website or blog and send a link to my list to view it. Then put together a little lesson on why this video is so effective at selling, place a tell-a-friend on the page and you've just been able to create a viral link to your website.
Two words: Frank Kern. He's got to be one of the craziest people walking around (free) on the face of this earth. When I know he's put out another of his videos, I suck it up. I love it and I've purchased thousands of dollars worth of his products. Honestly, now I'm kind of tired of him because he's gone from quality to promoting some less than stellar products...which brings me to my next point...
9. Don't burn me out. There's only so much wave pounding that I can take until I get seasick and feel like barfing. I realize that some IMers believe that they should constantly hard sell their list and honestly, it's your choice, but I'm just saying...get out of that ugly polyester suit.
10. Send me the correct link the first time. At least once a day (sometimes more) I receive an email from someone who says something to the effect of "I'm so sorry. I sent you a link yesterday and it was the wrong link. Here's the correct one."
First of all, I'm not stupid. You didn't send me the wrong link. If you're sending a link to your list, make darn sure that it's the correct link. If it's honestly wrong, then it makes you appear careless. And if it's just a marketing ploy, you're lying to me (I don't subscribe to liars). It also proves to me that you simply don't have anything creative in your brain. So since you've personally sent me 1/2 dozen "wrong link" emails, you're too careless for me to stay with you.
11. Check your spelling. Check your grammar. If you don't care enough to know the difference between "your" and "you're", then I believe "YOU'RE" either uneducated or you don't care and I don't want to stay on "YOUR" list.
12. Last point. Don't keep using the same emails that all the other affiliates are using. I signed up for your list because I believed you might offer some value to me. It's been pretty much proven in article marketing that duplicate content doesn't work well and guess what???? You're duplicate contenting me right off your list. How about this? Instead of sending out that same old tired duplicate email, if you can't write, hire a copywriter. Or just talk to me like a friend. Tell me what you're promoting and why. How will it benefit me? Who's behind it? What is their track record? And, most of all, how this product helped you when you purchased it.
OK. I've given you enough feedback. Now I'm unsubscribing from your list because I've written this email to you before and unfortunately, the address you have in your reply bounced back to me...so while I was venting you obviously don't care that I'm gone.
Chazz
The Asset - My CIA Thriller Fiction Book For Your Kindle
Fictive Universe - Internet Marketing for Fiction Writers