Some reviews/tips on my Sales Page?

Hello there. I think the e-covers are pretty good. Nice job there!

One thing that I noticed is that the headline could maybe be a bit more "grabbing". I feel that maybe the phrase "make and improve your articles, blogs, and websites" is a little too vague, and not all that appealing. Remember that good sales letters are about hitting people's emotions and not so much their logic.

The headline is the one of the most important parts of a good sales letter. If that doesn't catch their attention and their emotions, they will just move on.

If you need more help with it, just let me know.

Thanks Stephen, I'm going to work on that now.

I'm not sure how I can go about 'Grabbing' people with this though.

Buildingfutures,

First, I'm not a designer, so I can't offer any help in the 'design area' other than to say, the design needs help. My VA does all my graphis, PM me and I'll give you her email address.

Now, the copy.

1.) Your headline- Headline needs to do 3 things, address MY PROBLEM... EMPATHIZE with ME (feel my pain), offer the SOLUTION and make it seem EASY.

2.) Don't use $5.00 words. The word 'nefarious' may impress your college English Lit Professor, but if you even SUSPECT there's a CHANCE that your prospect might need to get out the old Webster's Dictionary to 'decipher' a word, best to ditch in favor of a more 'common' word. Because you're audience isn't going to go get the dictionary, they're going to hit the back button.

3.) Your sales letter isn't addressed to "Dear ...." whoever... with an introduction about you and your offer. Keep it short, but at least try to be 'somewhat' personal. Right now, your sales letter reads like an alegbra text book.

4.) The bold and unbold on your bullet points is wrong. Choose one or the other. I say bold every bullet point here.

5.) You need to define the bonus better by putting the word BONUS in all caps, bright bold red letters on a line by itself Above the bonus description.

6.) There is no call to action in your close. No reason for me to buy. It's not a limited time offer, you're not going to raise the price, there's nothing making me want to click that buy it now button.

7.) Your testimonial is formatted poorly, you don't have enough testimonials, and when you get more, they need proper placement throughout the sales letter.

8.) There's no P.S.

9.) Where's my 'sneak peek' inside the book? The table of contents is the easiest way to show a reader whether or not the information they are looking for is even in your book. A short description of the chapters need to state things like "How To Get Started Making Money in 7 Days With Affiliate Marketing" to hit on the how to, how long, and when questions that information is meant to answer.

10.) Overall, the copy is also just too short. But if you take those suggestions, you should be able to beef it up quite a bit with just a little effort.

Good luck.


Warmest Holiday Wishes,
Marcus

Thanks a hell of a lot Marcus, I could definitely do all of that in about 20 minuets with little effort.

I had planned on doing a video for the 'Dear, whomever' part, and introducing myself that way. Would that be alright you think?

Another thing marcus, or whomever is around,

Testimonial format, how do I go about that?

Thanks!

-Sean

I already did that, but only one person has been so obliging as to respond after i've sent the product.

Would you care to review it Marcus?

-Sean

The price is too low. I and any prospect would think that "hmm it's too cheap. it probably don't have any valuable info. just a duplication of the free stuff around...". And your copy is very short I can't understand what I will exactly get.

I think you should offer something FREE in return of emails. Then offer your $9 book in thank you page and your 2nd day followup. Then other big ticket items (affiliate products) in the next weeks and so on...

If they read your free stuff and find it useful, they would definetely purchase your $9 book since they NOW know they will find something useful in it. And then they will buy what you recommend to them since they trust you.....

I personally wouldn't buy anything from a person I don't know at all.

Sorry noone trusts noone nowadays for good reasons.