SETTING UP NEW SALES PAGE (NEWBIE) FEEDBACK PLEASE

4 replies
Hey All,

I'm in the process of building out a section of my website that will drive people to sign up and build a player profile.

Let me know what you think. Does the page make you want to sign up?

sicprofiles dot com/membership-options

JohnG
#feedback #newbie #page #sales #setting
  • Profile picture of the author weblink29
    Not bad. I can see one small issue.

    “HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE COLLEGE COACHES BUSTING DOWN YOUR DOOR ASKING YOU TO COME PLAY SOCCER AT THEIR SCHOOL!”

    You are asking a question but there is no question mark after the sentence.

    I would place your money back guarantee prominently by the order button if you offer one.
    Signature

    Nothing to see here folks.....move along.

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    • Profile picture of the author JohnExec
      Thanks for the feedback. Made some changes per your recommendations.
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  • Profile picture of the author WillR
    I've just had a quick look but here are a few suggestions regarding the headline. The headline should have more whitespace either side of it which will make it a lot easier to read. I would also NOT capslock the whole headline as it makes it more difficult to read and a little too obnoxious and 'in your face'.

    I would also think harder about what it is these students are hoping to achieve by playing in a college team. Your headline should revolve around the biggest benefit they will experience by getting accepted and playing in a college team. Why do they want to do this? What is the #1 thing that drives these people to play college sports? THAT is what your headline should revolve around. At the moment I think it is a little weak.
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    • Profile picture of the author weblink29
      Originally Posted by WillR View Post

      I've just had a quick look but here are a few suggestions regarding the headline. The headline should have more whitespace either side of it which will make it a lot easier to read. I would also NOT capslock the whole headline as it makes it more difficult to read and a little too obnoxious.

      I would also think harder about what it is these students are hoping to achieve by playing in a college team. Your headline should revolve around the biggest benefit they will experience by getting accepted and playing in a college team. Why do they want to do this? What is the #1 thing that drives these people to play college sports? THAT is what your headline should revolve around. At the moment it is a little weak.
      Spitballing....


      Are you ready for that phone call from your favorite college asking you to join their soccer team?

      Do you REALLY want to know why the coach hasn't signed you up to their college soccer team?

      Ask a college soccer coach what you can do to improve your odds of joining their soccer team!

      Do you REALLY want to know why you won't make the cut joining your favorite soccer team?
      Signature

      Nothing to see here folks.....move along.

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